Read The Texas Billionaire's Baby Online
Authors: Karen Rose Smith
One look at Logan’s face and Gina knew he was reliving that time in his life. Did he want comfort? Did he want sympathy? Or did he just need to look forward?
Gina didn’t want to trample over sacred ground so she asked, “How long was Daniel in the hospital?”
“Eight weeks…a terrifically
long
eight weeks.”
“Who was his doctor?”
“Francesca Talbott. I think it’s Fitzgerald now.”
“Yes, it is. She shared the house with me until she got married,” Gina said softly.
“It really
is
a small world, isn’t it?” he asked, finally looking at her.
“It can be.”
After a silence-filled pause, Logan asked, “Did you marry?”
His question surprised her. “No.”
What would he say if she told him what had happened? It really made no difference to their relationship. She’d left him, no matter what had happened afterward. “I’ve been focused on my work all these years, trying to make a name in my field.”
“So why come back to Sagebrush
now?”
He looked genuinely perplexed.
“I’m not exactly sure. I began missing my family more. I knew I needed something different—closer friends, bonds, actual fun.”
The lines on Logan’s face told her he hadn’t had fun in a long time, not since before his wife died. Daniel might bring him joy, but Gina had the feeling it was fleeting.
“We really don’t have to work in here, Logan. I understand how memories can suck the air out of the room.”
Logan shrugged. “If I get used to seeing Daniel playing in here, crawling in here, maybe eventually walking in here, it will be fine.”
She could only imagine what Logan had been through—his wife’s diagnosis, losing her and at the same time dealing with Daniel’s hospital stay. “It takes a while to recover from any trauma.” She knew that all
too well. Counseling sessions and talking and crying and just putting one foot in front of the other, even when you thought you couldn’t, took energy, motivation and sometimes steel will. Logan had all of those. Still…
Logan stared at a picture of Daniel on a side table.
Gina assured him, “He’s a wonderful little boy. Quick and learning more each day. When I arrived, I suggested to Hannah if you fill two of the bottom cupboards in the kitchen with pots and pans, colorful containers, anything Daniel might feel he’d like to get into, that might give him more motivation to explore his world.”
Logan was quiet a moment, then he turned his focus to her. “I guess parents are always supposed to teach their kids to explore the world.”
“That gets scarier for both the parents and kids as they get older. Learning to walk across the room suddenly becomes all-day kindergarten and then piano lessons, and then driving and dating!”
Logan remarked, “Your parents encouraged
you
to explore your world. Your education was as important to them as it was to you.”
“It wasn’t just my education,” Gina said quietly, hoping she could break through the icy wall Logan had constructed between them.
“I know. There was your younger sister. Did she eventually go to school?”
“Yes, she did. Angie is a nurse and I’m proud of her.” If only they could keep talking—
Suddenly Logan stood. “It’s good you don’t have any regrets.”
She hadn’t said she didn’t have regrets.
Logan went on, “This is bath night and it’s one of the things I enjoy doing most with my son, at least until he gets old enough to ride a horse. I’ll help you gather this up and walk you out.”
As he stuffed a toy elephant and lion into one of her drawstring bags, she asked him, “Are you still angry that I left?”
His answer was slow in coming as his gaze finally met hers. “I’ll probably always be angry that you left. But…if you hadn’t left, I wouldn’t have Daniel. I love him more than anything in this world.”
There was nothing she could say to that.
A few days later, when Gina stopped in at the Target that had recently opened in Sagebrush, she ran through the baby department. It was a habit, keeping her eye on the latest trends in toys and car seats, in strollers and play furniture. Tonight, she pushed her cart around the corner into the toy department. There, she stopped cold.
Logan stood in front of a shelf, holding a remote-control car in one arm, studying the RC truck directly in front of him.
For a nanosecond, Gina thought about turning around and going the other way. Logan didn’t have to know she’d seen him. He didn’t have to know she was here. But that was the coward’s way out. She was no longer a coward. At least she hoped she wasn’t.
Rolling her cart up beside him, she asked, “Looking for a new hobby?”
He went still, then he turned to face her. “No,” he drawled in that Texas deep baritone that had always curled her toes. “I thought Hannah and I might take bets on who could run their car across the yard the fastest.”
Gina laughed at his wry tone. “I bet Daniel would enjoy that. He might even chase one.”
“That’s the idea,” Logan assured her.
At that moment, they both understood the motivation Daniel needed to learn to walk. It was the first tension-free moment she and Logan had shared.
He nodded to her cart filled with three pairs of shorts and a few knit tops. “New wardrobe for summer?” he joked.
Actually it was. She didn’t owe him any explanations but she explained anyway. “I lost a few pounds so I needed something that fitted a little better than what was in my closet.”
“Intentionally?”
“What?” she asked, lost in his eyes for the moment.
“Did you lose weight intentionally?”
He was looking at her in a way that made her nerve endings dance. She hadn’t felt that way when a man looked at her for a very long time. “No, not intentionally. With the move, a new job, a new life really, it just happened.”
“Are you glad you moved back here?”
Standing here face-to-face with Logan, she wasn’t quite sure how to answer. Finally she responded, “I like the life I’m building. I like the new friends I’ve made. My practice is rewarding and it’s good to be near family again.”
“You stayed away a long time.”
“Yes, I did, in part because I didn’t want to face you.”
For a moment, Logan’s guard slipped and he looked astonished. Was he surprised she’d been so honest? Maybe that was what they needed between them, some old-fashioned honesty. Just how far was she willing to go with it?
“You didn’t have to face me,” he said evenly.
“We live in a small town, Logan. I knew eventually I’d run into you.”
“Why didn’t you send someone else from Baby Grows to evaluate Daniel?”
She expected this question had been bothering him since the night she’d appeared at his house. “As I told you, I do all the evaluations. I wasn’t going to shirk my responsibility.”
He seemed to mull that over. “You’re an expert in your field.”
“Some people would say that.”
“And now that we
have
come face-to-face?” he asked, his voice challenging.
“I’d like you to forgive me,” she blurted out, without considering the consequences.
There seemed to be a sudden hush all around them. Then Logan shifted, adjusting the toy under his arm. “I don’t know what to say to that. When you left, the bottom dropped out of my world in more ways than one. I’ve never forgotten how that felt. I’ve never forgotten how you didn’t even have time to have a conversation when I called you in Connecticut.”
She couldn’t deal with this here. What had she expected when she’d started this? That it would be easy? That he’d forgive her and they’d go on being friends?
“Logan, things had happened…”
He gave a short laugh. “Yes, I’m sure they had. You probably met someone at school and—”
“No, nothing like that.”
He looked startled at her vehemence. “You’re not the same Gina you were fourteen years ago.”
“I certainly hope not.” She tried to keep her tone
light. They hadn’t spent enough time together to
know
how each other had changed.
Logan cocked his head, studying her with those penetrating eyes that had so often seen right through her. But not tonight. She held secrets he’d never know about unless they could find more common ground than this.
If she brought the conversation back to Daniel, maybe the tension between them would ease. “I was thinking…” she said slowly.
He waited for her to go on.
“Can you bring Daniel to Baby Grows on Saturday? I’d like to ask Tessa to stop in with her two children and I want to watch Daniel react with them, play with them. We have more equipment there, too.”
“Tessa won’t mind giving up her Saturday morning?”
“After rounds, she usually takes the kids to the library. She said she’d just bring them to Baby Grows instead.”
“All right, I can do that. Do you have appointments before Daniel, or do you want me to pick you up?”
Logan had always been a gentleman, and thoroughly polite. He was being courteous now and she shouldn’t read any more into his offer than that. “I do have other appointments, but thanks for offering.” Before she saw more recriminations in his eyes, she pointed to the shelf. “So, which one are you going to buy?”
“You have a car when you work with him. I think I’ll go with the truck.”
“What about Hannah?”
He rewarded her with a small smile. “Maybe she’d like the motorcycle.”
Gina laughed. “She probably would.”
After he stacked the motorcycle on top of the truck, he asked her, “Are you finished shopping?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll walk you out.”
More courtesy? Her heart was already in overdrive and now it sped up a little more.
Walking beside Logan, she was reminded just how tall he was, just how broad his shoulders were, just how slim his hips were in his black jeans. He kept enough distance between them that their arms wouldn’t brush. She didn’t glance at him, but she felt
him
looking at
her.
She pretended not to be affected either by his presence beside her or his gaze on her, but she was.
At the checkout line, they didn’t speak as she used her credit card, then picked up her packages. He went through and paid in cash.
Then he took her bag from her. “I’ll carry this to your car for you.”
Being with Logan was a combination of bittersweet and exciting. She knew he’d be relieved if he went his way and she went hers, yet she didn’t want to leave his company. Just like so many years ago.
At her car, she used the remote to unlock the doors and pop the trunk. They went around to the back and he dropped her purchases inside. There was a duffel bag there.
“Do you belong to a gym?” he asked as if he
was
curious about her life now.
“No, but I walk whenever I can. In Lubbock at lunchtime, sometimes I do a couple of laps around the center. In Sagebrush, I like to take the trail around the lake.”
“You always did like the outdoors.” He slammed the lid of her trunk.
“I still do. I hiked a lot in New England. Here, I’d like to take up riding again. Francesca and I have gone on a couple of trail rides at her ranch. I’ve ridden at Tessa’s, too. I’d forgotten how wonderful it feels to be on horseback.”
Logan walked to her car door and stood very close, so close she could reach up and touch his jawline, so close she could see that the lines around his eyes and his mouth weren’t superficial. They’d been carved from pain. All she wanted to do was ease them away.
“You asked me about forgiving you…” His voice was low and husky.
She held her breath and waited.
“I can’t give you an answer, Gina, and I don’t know if time will help or not. That night after we split up, my father had a stroke.”
That night. A rush of dread made her cold all over. “What happened?”
He looked away from her as if warring with himself over the answer. “We argued about you.”
Her chest felt tight. “Why?”
“I went riding after you left, trying to figure out what to do. When I got back to the barn, Dad confronted me. He said I was better off without you. But I didn’t believe that. I was going to talk to your parents…convince them they were interfering and they shouldn’t be…convince you that we could make something work long-distance. Dad grabbed my arm. I tore away. And then—suddenly he couldn’t speak and he collapsed.”
Gina was stunned. A tiny shard of guilt pierced her heart at the realization that she hadn’t been there for Logan.
“I called the paramedics and he was rushed to the hospital. We managed to keep all of it quiet. Dad
abhorred publicity and the hospital and medical personnel were cooperative. His recovery took about three months. He was fortunate he regained his speech and most of his mobility. But the whole process was—” Logan halted as if he didn’t want to admit how much his father’s collapse and recovery had affected him.
“I’m so sorry,” she managed to say, feeling so much sympathy for him that tears welled in her eyes. “Three months,” she murmured. “That’s around when you called—”
“I was hoping we could just talk. I was hoping—” He shook his head. “But you didn’t have time to talk. You had to run off to take a test.”
“You never called again,” she said softly, remembering how numb she’d been for such a long time after the rape. She
had
had a test that day. But more important, she’d been too raw to talk to anyone. Should she tell Logan that? Could he possibly understand?
No. This wasn’t about her. The distance between them was all about her letting down Logan in so many ways. If she had fought for the love she’d felt for him, then maybe more than one tragedy could have been avoided.
“Logan, I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.”
She heard a car door slam…children laughing near the store’s exit.
So much had happened to both of them. She’d lost her sense of safety, her trust in her judgment, her trust in men. Logan had gone on to marry and lost a wife he’d obviously loved. He now had a son his wife had died to save. How much more he must love her for that. How much he must cherish Daniel as the gift his wife had given him.