The Sweetest Kill: A Young Adult Paranormal (17 page)

“You like to keep your distance from me.” He agrees and I realize my mental shield must have slipped.

I shift away from him, “I told you, I don’t like to be touched.”

“That’s not what I meant, but now you’ve piqued my interest again.”

“And I’m sticking with the fact that it’s none of your business.”

“I’ll find out eventually, you know that right?”

“No, I don’t.” I snap before glancing at him curiously, “What did you mean before though? Keeping my distance from you.”

“Emotionally you’re very distant, but I can see why now.”

“Meaning?”

“Your mother.”

I give him a dry look, “What about her?”

“She’s very… reserved.”

“Yes, but that’s how she’s always been. I’ve have never seen my parents kiss. What’s your point?”

He shrugs, “I have none. Just an observation.”

“Well, leave my mother out of your observations and keep them to yourself.” I snap defensively, “I know what you’re trying to do and I don’t appreciate it.”

“What am I trying to do?” He asks with a bland expression.

“You’re trying to find the source of my issues. That maybe her being distant has caused me to dislike touch. Well, it’s not.”

“You’re very perceptive today.”

“No, I just know how it goes.” I tell him with a bitter scoff, “You’re just like those doctors at the hospital. Probing into shit that has nothing to do with you, just so you can figure me out. They didn’t get anywhere and neither will you.”

“I could.”

“No, you really couldn’t.”

His eyes light up with excitement at my challenge, “Is that a bet?”

“No. It’s a fact.”

He slides up the mattress a bit, until his head is level with my shoulder. His eyes are practically glowing at this point. I don’t like the look in them and I start shifting in my spot. He keeps eye contact with me the entire time, as he leans up and I feel my heart pick up speed. Then, his lips kiss my neck. It’s a soft, barely there touch but something that sets my skin on fire. I can’t tell if it’s a good fire or a bad fire, but it’s a fire that has me gripping the flowered sheets of my bed.

His lips then move up to my ear, where he gently bites the lobe. I shiver as an electric shock goes down my spine, making me shiver. My hands tighten on the sheets. Moving away from my ear, he moves up to my cheek. His hand slowly lifts, enough to show me he means no harm, before cupping my opposite cheek. His lips are feather soft on the apple of my cheek. Now I’ve stopped breathing, and am waiting for it to be too much. It’s not.

Tobias seems to notice my tolerance too, and pushes his luck. Caressing his lips down to my jaw, he lays a kiss on the underside of it. I shiver again as another trail of electric shocks go down my spine. I think I feel him smile against my skin, before he moves up and lands a light kiss on the corner of my mouth. I inhale sharply and he pauses. A considerable amount of sheet is balled up in my hand, as I fight to keep my mind working and on guard.

I close my eyes, squeezing them shut, as I slowly exhale. His fingers caress my cheek, softly, almost soothingly. Like he’s calming down a feral animal rather than a haphephobiac with more fear than sense, or maybe that’s the same thing. I don’t know. What I do know is that my mind goes completely blank when his lips press against mine. It’s a soft kiss, again, barely there, but it makes everything in my head shut down. It’s not as relaxing as him biting me, but the madness is the same. All I can do is focus on the feel of the softness of his lips, compared to the stone hardness of his fingers on my chin.

He moves back and I open my mouth to suck in air. He wasn’t kissing me long, a few seconds maybe, but it still left me breathless. Other than Lawrence’s disgusting kiss in the manager’s office, I’ve never been kissed. Tommy Fletcher in kindergarten doesn’t count. It was just a kiss on the cheek. So out of my choices, I think I’d rather think of this as my official first kiss. The thought that it’s with a blood sucking vampire is kind of a depressing thought though.

Suddenly, Tobias’s lips are on mine again. And this time, more of the gentleness is stripped away. This one feels more desperate and I gasp at the pressure he’s applying. He takes advantage of that and deepens the kiss. His tongue is in my mouth and since I have only Lawrence to compare that to, I find this much more enjoyable. He’s reverted back to gentle and slow, as he caresses his tongue with mine, trying to get me to play back. I don’t know how, and so I just sit there awkwardly attempting to just keep my head on straight.

When he pushes me back on the mattress though, everything shifts. My brain and my body reacts out of memory. How many times in the night did this happen back at St. Sebastian’s? The man with the hands. The man dressed in white. The man who would cover my mouth as he touched me.

I start to shake as memories flash before my eyes. I don’t even notice that Tobias isn’t even touching me anymore. He’s just balancing on his hands, hovering over me and watching as I try to push away uninvited memories. He decides to touch me, to calm me down, but it does the opposite. I bat his hand away and in some crazy ninja move, I’m out from under him and across the room. I curl up, make myself as small as I can in a corner, and try to calm myself down.

That was before, I tell myself. He can’t touch you here. He can never touch you again.

“Shoshanna…”

“Go away,” I whisper, “Please, just go away.”

Surprisingly he listens to me, and now I am more alone than I ever was before. I’m stuck in faraway memories that never should have been there in the first place.

Vehemence

It’s nearly nighttime and Tobias has not shown up yet. Since it was overcast most of the day, it makes the outside world seem so gray. I assume that was why he was able to leave in the first place. I take a shower and feel a lot cleaner, but no less horrible. I’ve been able to calm down a bit and took my pills, as directed. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help the guilt I feel. I shouldn’t have made him leave or treat him the way I did.

While he was here, he was very understanding of my boundaries, something I can’t help but appreciate. The kiss… well, I can’t say I didn’t like it. As kisses go, it was… certainly something. I don’t really have much to compare it to, other than Lawrence and that’s not something I want to remember. The distracted memory of the man in white trying to kiss me, comes floating in my mind and I push it away. I don’t want to think about that. I never want to think about that again.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I start flipping through the channels in my old box TV. The apartment building provides the basics as part of the rent, and it’s something that’s really saved time. When an old seventies horror movie comes onto the screen, I stop changing channels and watch. I’ve had a soft spot for horror movies since I was a pre-teen. My first love was actually The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

I yawn loudly as I sit back on my bed and watch the designated psycho chase and the screaming teens through the desolate house. Florence curls herself into my lap, and I start absently petting through her dark fur with my fingers. Her purrs begin to lull me to sleep and no matter how much I fight it, I quickly succumb.

A loud pounding on my door makes me jump into consciousness. I rub my eyes and start to get up, making a very asleep Florence grumpily meow at me, before removing herself from my lap. I feel a bit bad, but the pounding on the apartment door intensifies. I stumble out of bed. I’m not at functional levels yet and I usually need to go through my morning routine, before I’m fully awake. That’s probably why I don’t check the peephole to see who it is, before unlocking the door.

I freeze when I discovered who it is. Lawrence, my ex-boss, at my door. He’s obviously drunk, the bottle of whiskey is visible in his hand as he leans on my doorframe. He looks like a mess. His dyed blonde hair is a damp curly tangle on top of his head, his green eyes are hazy and he reeks of cigarettes and vomit.

“Hey baby, miss me?

The sound of his voice snaps me back into my senses, and I try to shut my door in his face. He pushes it back open with enough force, causing me to stumble deeper into my apartment. He kicks the door closed behind him and trips a bit on his feet, before steadying himself on my desk. Setting his whiskey bottle on the desk roughly, he takes off his jacket and throws it on the floor.

His green eyes narrow and widen as he looks over me, then grinning sloppily, “You look hot, Shoshanna. Is that all for me?”

“H-How did you know where I live?” I ask.

His grin turns wolfish, “Application. I still had it on file.”

Shit. Stepping back from him, I try to keep my calm.

“W-What are you doing here?”

“I came to see the woman who ruined my life,” He slurs at me, before swiping the bottle off the desk, “Your little bitch friend ratted on me. Got me fired. My wife is leaving me now and she’s taking the kid. Feel good about yourself, bitch? You ruined my fucking life!”

“I-I’m s-sorry but I didn’t…“

“Shut up!” He yells before throwing the whiskey bottle against a wall.

I try to keep my head straight, but I don’t know what to do to calm him down. I can’t physically do much against him, but I can maybe get him to see reason. Who am I kidding? How many times did I tell him ‘no’ when I worked at the café? How many times did I try to push him away from me? How many times did he just keep going no matter how much I fought him off? He’s no better than the man in white, the orderly at St. Sebastian’s, if anything, Lawrence is worse. He can get violent.

“I-I’m sorry about what happened Lawrence,” I tell him, making him narrow his eyes at me, “Really, I am. Maybe I could call and tell them it was a mistake. Maybe you can get your job back.”

The words feel dirty as I say them, but I’ll do anything to get out of this. I don’t want to die like this. I don’t want to die by his hands. I don’t want to die in pain. The fear of what could happen before I die, grips my stomach and makes the bile rise in my throat. I swallow it though, and try bravely to meet his eyes. He needs to think I’m not afraid. He likes it when I’m afraid.

“You’d do that?” He asks, sounding almost child-like.

I nod frantically, “I would and I will, but please Lawrence, you have to go home.”

“Liar!” He yells, making me jump. He grins widely, “You’re not going to do shit for me, and you know why?”

I shake my head as my eyes start to tear up. He takes a step towards me and I try to back up, but he grabs the front of my shirt. Pulling me against his chest, he speaks lowly and forces the scent on his breath on me, “You’re fucking pathetic. You can’t do anything, not even for yourself. I wanted you to fight me, and you didn’t. You liked it when I touched you, didn’t you?”

“N-No.” I sob, tears falling down my cheeks, “I didn’t. Please, I just want you to go.”

Lawrence throws me away from him and I fall to the ground. I crawl away from him until I hit the wall and cower against it. I hear the slide of his belt on the fabric of his slacks and whimper.

“No one leaves until I say they can leave.”

I hear him advancing on me and I scramble to my feet. I grab the nearest thing I can, a shoe, and throw it at him. It hits him in the shoulder and knocks him off balance, so I run to the bathroom. I’m just about to grab the doorknob of the door to shut it behind me, when Lawrence pushes the door open. He grabs me by my hair and forces me to hunch over, as he pulls me out.

I kick him on the knee, making it buckle, but he keeps his hold on my hair. I use my nails to cut into the skin of his hand and with a yell, he lets go of my hair. I fall to the floor, my scalp burning. I try to head for the bathroom again.

The buckle of his belt hits me on my thigh, and I fall to the floor with the bathroom only a few inches away. I cry out at the pain, but keep crawling towards the bathroom, knowing it’s the only chance of a barrier I have in this place. I’m just about to reach there when he grabs my ankle and pulls me back. I can feel the heat of the carpet burn on my stomach, as my shirt rides up.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Let me go!” I yell and start kicking wildly, trying to get my ankle free.

He swings the belt’s buckle hard against my lower back, enough to stun me still, my mouth opening in a silent scream. He uses my ankle to flip me onto my back, and my back spasms in pain from the new position. Lawrence stands over me, wrapping the belt around his fingers as he pants.

“You ruined my life and now you’re going to pay for it.”

“I didn’t do anything!” I scream before I release a sob, “Please!”

His face goes blank as he stares at me, and I keep myself as still as possible. Maybe he heard me this time. Maybe he’ll let me go. As he pulls his hand back, I know that those hopes were nothing. They’re merely just hopes, an expectation and desire that something is going to happen, no guarantees. And in this case, nothing but a dream.

The belt buckle hits me in the stomach and I cry out as I curl into a ball, trying to protect myself. He starts talking to himself as he continues to hit anything he can reach. Nothing completely audible, but I still hear some words. Mostly, he thinks I deserve this. One of the buckle’s blow hits me on the side of my face, and I tasted blood in my mouth. Oh God, please don’t let that be a tooth. Please don’t tell me I lost a tooth.

“You think you can say no to me? You think you can ruin my fucking life and not suffer the consequences? You think you’re better than me? Huh? Speak bitch!”

“N-No!” I sob.

“Fucking right you’re not.” He pants before hitting me one last time on the side of my stomach.

The blows stop for a few seconds and I peek up at him to see him panting. He’s getting tired. This is my chance. Looking around, I spot the ceramic food bowls I leave out for Florence and quickly move towards them. He stomps after me, but I already have them in my grasp as his hands grip my hair. He pulls my head back painfully, and I hear some of the follicles tear from my head, but I don’t cry out this time. I’m running on adrenaline now, and the pain is starting to give way to thinking fast.

“You don’t leave until I say you do!” Lawrence snarls in my ear.

I grip the food bowl in my hand tighter, before swinging it up and hitting him in the head with it. I expect it to break but it doesn’t. Instead it knocks him on his ass and off of me. Turning around, I stand over him and feel my own anger start to boil over. I don’t even feel the pain radiating through my body, as I look at him. All I see is the pain I’m about to bring him.

Sitting on his chest, I see his sick green eyes widen before I pull back the bowl again. He punches me in the face and I nearly fall off of him. I can taste my own blood at the back of my throat, both from my nose bleed and the cut in my mouth inflicted by the buckle. I tighten my grip on the bowl’s edge again and lower it to hit him in the head.

“You don’t get to leave until I say you do.” I spit at him.

The blow lands and he lets out a grunt of pain. It’s not enough. He’ll keep coming for me unless I keep coming for him. So I hit him in the head again. On the latest hit, the ceramic breaks and cuts my hand as it shatters around Lawrence’s head. He’s unconscious but his chest is still moving underneath me so I know he’s still alive. I don’t know how though. Maybe luck is on his side today.

I fall off his chest and crawl over to my phone. I stick my bloody pointer finger into one of the holes in the rotary and start to dial for help. I’m about to put in the last number when the door unceremoniously opens. I look up, tears still streaming down my face and covered in not only my blood but Lawrence’s. I see Tobias in the doorway. He looks at me and then at the knocked out Lawrence on the floor, before his face transforms into a mask of rage.

Tobias uses his speed to suddenly appear before me but I just look at him blankly. I think I’m in shock. His hand touches my face and I enjoy the warmth it gives me. Warmth? Isn’t he usually cold? That’s when I realize that my teeth are chattering and I’m shaking uncontrollably. Tobias reaches behind me and I flinch a little at how close his arm is, but he ignores it. Grabbing my blanket off the bed, he wraps it around me and rubs his hands on my arms, trying to warm me up.

“What happened?”

“H-H-He c-came in.” I stutter out, my words come out sort of slurred.

Tobias’s dark brows furrow as he looks at me, “You’re heart is beating irregularly.”

“I c-can’t…” I say before grabbing my chest under the blanket. It hurts.

Suddenly, my stomach heaves and I feel bile rise in my throat again. Tobias gets out of the way fast and rubs my back, as I start vomiting on my carpet. It’s mostly dry heaves after puking up my pills and some toast with jam on them. At least that’s what they were, before I got to see them again.

“Why are you h-here?” I ask hoarsely.

“I don’t care if you want me to leave, I’m staying.” He snaps, exasperated, “Who the fuck is this piece of shit anyway?”

“My b-boss.”

“I thought you quit your job.”

“E-Ex boss, t-then.”

“He’s still alive.” Tobias comments tightly.

“I k-know.”

“Would you like him not to be?”

I look up at him and with a slight frown. What is he asking me? Permission to kill another human being? Not much of a human being, my mind comments faintly. Good point, but still, can I tell him to kill someone and not regret it? I hear a low moan coming from Lawrence’s body and I move closer to Tobias out of instinct.

“Quick decision, wallflower,” Tobias murmurs as he holds me close to him, “kill him and end this now, or don’t and have him attack others. The choice is yours.”

I stare at Lawrence as he starts to move a little on the ground. He grips his head and mutters, “Fucking bitch.”

I glance up at Tobias and give him a nod before tightening the blanket around myself. My chest still hurts, but I don’t feel like I’m going to throw up anymore. I just feel really, really tired, and a little dizzy. I slowly lay down on my mattress and see Tobias lean over the screaming Lawrence, before shoving his hand into the Lawrence’s chest. I can’t see what he does next. I’m already passed out by then.

*   *   *

The smooth classical composition of a piano meets my ears as I come into consciousness. I blink my eyes hardly for a few times, and try to understand where I am. A window is near my face and though it’s dark outside of it, I can tell that it’s moving. Are we in a car?

“I had to give you more of my blood,” Tobias’ voice informs from beside me quietly before the car shifts gears, “I would have asked for permission, but it was clear you were going into shock.”

“Where am I?” I ask, my mouth feeling terribly dry.