The Swarm Trilogy (46 page)

“It’s okay, really. It’s not like I’ve got anything to worry about anyway. I only have to find a way to destroy the Malborn and stop all of the fighting. What’s a little more prophetic drama?”

Chase’s eyes squinted, I winked at him, and then he laughed again. “I wasn’t sure if you were joking at first. You’ve been, um, distracted lately.”

“Distracted is a good word for it,” I said. “I haven’t been in the present since Bryden’s death.”

“Are you ready now? To come back, I mean?” Chase shuffled his feet and looked at the floor. He ran his fingers through his hair. His bangs flopped over his eyes. He needed a haircut, but had probably been too busy taking care of me to think about it.

“I’m getting there,” I said. “Bryden would want me to move on and live life.” I looked through a keyhole window to the courtyard below. Only a small part of the stable roof was visible, but knowing Aphotica was in there pushed a smile into the place of my frown. “I know he would have approved of my ride on Aphotica today.”

“He probably would have told you to slow down like I did,” Chase said.

“No, he would have let me do as I wished. Bryden never told me what to do, even if he thought he knew better. He always left it to me to find my own path.”

Chase’s smile fell off his face. “You must think I’m too overprotective.”

“If you think I’m expecting you to be Bryden, I don’t want that. I want you to be you, Chase. Whether or not I like it is up to me. Don’t be something you’re not just to make me happy.”

He reached out, taking one of my silver curls in his hand. He twirled it between his fingers. “I want to make you happy, Lianne.”

I wrapped my hand around his. Gently, I pulled his fingers from my hair. “I know, Chase. I’m not ready yet.”

He stepped backward. “I’m sorry. Of course you’re not. I just thought that after today...”

I glanced down at my boots. Sunlight bounced off the toes, illuminating the usually invisible dust motes floating in the air. “I don’t want to give you false hope. I don’t know when I’ll be ready, or if I ever will be. One thing I don’t want you to do is waste your time on me. If there’s anyone else out there, someone you could care about, give that a chance. I can’t promise you anything.”

“Lianne,” Chase’s voice fell to a whisper, “there will never be anyone but you.”

I didn’t know what to say next. I wouldn’t make a promise I couldn’t keep. I gripped my hands behind my back, the sweat pooling in my palms. Chase rocked from one foot to the other, shifting his weight uncomfortably.

“Why don’t you go back to our chambers and rest? You’ve had a big day,” he said.

I nodded, not sure how to speak in the awkwardness. Chase smiled, then turned on his heel and left me standing in the hall alone. He was right. I did need a break. I ambled back to our chamber, ready for a nap. But Reychel and Wren’s words wouldn’t leave me.

I was going to bring about destruction. Not just to the Malborn, but to everyone? My blood boiled, my magic crackled deep in my gut. Tired of walking into events without much knowledge, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

Bryden was dead, but I was still alive. If I went down without a fight, it would negate everything we’d done together. Hope swelled in my chest. I could fight. I just needed to know what I was up against first.

I flicked my fingers and opened a portal, hoping answers lay on the opposite end.

Chapter Eight

Light burst in the room as the portal opened. I stepped through, my heart threatening to beat a hole in my chest. I emerged in Johna’s room. Chase’s mother was still there with her.

They both stared at me as I walked through the portal. Johna lounged on a tufted chair and Reychel stood next to her, her hands on Johna’s shoulders. Neither of them seemed surprised to see me.

“I told you she’d be back,” Johna said. She held her palm out toward Reychel and motioned with her fingers. Reychel pulled a coin out of the purse cinched to her waist. She dropped it in Johna’s hand.

“You were betting on me?” I was incredulous. Only minutes before Johna had been experiencing some kind of attack. When did they have time to talk about me?

Reychel shrugged. “It’s something we do from time to time to amuse ourselves.”

“You’re feeling better, then?” I asked Johna.

She nodded. “I am, child. Thank you for worrying about me. I’m an old lady, prone to fits. But that’s not why you’re here, is it? You want to know more about what Wren said to you.” Johna stood up carefully, making her way back to her herb table.

I hesitated. I’d hoped to come back, make sure Johna was okay, then maybe finesse some information out of her. Johna’s penetrating gaze told me my plan didn’t have a chance before I even put it into motion.

I flopped down on the nearest chair. “Yes, that’s why I’m here. I want to know more.” I crossed my arms across my chest. “I was concerned about you, though.”

“I know you were.” Johna motioned to Reychel. “Tell her what you know.”

Reychel looked at me, her eyes searching for something in mine. Maybe she wanted to know more about my relationship with her son. Or maybe she wanted to know if she could trust the strange girl with the silver hair sitting in front of her.

“If there’s some terrible prophecy involving me, I need to know. I didn’t take Chase’s visions seriously and Bryden died because of it. I thought I could change things, instead I just made them happen.” I choked back tears. My throat swelled with guilt and anger directed only at myself. “If there’s something coming, I want to know.”

Reychel sighed and sat down in the chair across from me. Johna’s elbow rotated in circles as she went back to grinding up herbs. I focused on Reychel, knowing she had the answers. Based off Chase’s grumblings, I wasn’t sure if she’d share them with me.

“Do you still have that dagger Johna gave you?” Reychel asked.

I nodded, patting the drawstring bag on my hip.

“You’re going to use it to sacrifice ten girls. Then our world will be sundered.”

I held my hands up in the air. “No way. I’ve seen that picture. I won’t do it.”

“If you know the power of Chase’s drawings based on the death of your love, Bryden, then you know how accurate they are. You will do it, Lianne. And you will do it soon. It doesn’t matter how you try to avoid it. It will come to pass.”

I squirmed in my chair. I couldn’t hurt innocent girls.

“What happens?” I needed an answer to that question. So far, it seemed the most important. No one could force me to ritually sacrifice ten girls, but whatever this impending thing was I needed to know.

“I don’t know. Eloh never revealed it to me. Sometimes she comes to my dreams and tells me things. Ever since Chase -” she paused – “ever since I lost my gift and no longer received prophecies, Eloh has still whispered them into my mind in my sleep. She told me you would come and would bring it to us.”

“But she never told you what it is?” I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “That’s not helpful.”

Reychel’s eyes narrowed. “She is a goddess and owes us nothing. It’s not her job to be helpful, Lianne. We are tasked with trusting her and following her gentle guidance. It’s called faith.”

“I don’t have faith in her.” I rubbed my moist palms on my pants, forgetting I was wearing leather. Instead of wicking away the moisture, I only covered my pants in sweat.

Reychel’s head snapped to Johna, who continued to grind her herbs as if I hadn’t just said something blasphemous.

“You didn’t tell me she was a non-believer, Johna.”

“I didn’t think it was necessary. Her upbringing was in a godless nation. What did you expect?”

I waved my hand in the air. “Um, hello, I’m still here. Do either of you want to discuss this directly with me?”

Reychel looked at me again. Her amber eyes focused on mine, as if she were trying to bore into my soul. I sat back against the chair sure she wouldn’t discover anything interesting in my eyes. She wasn’t gifted. She couldn’t read me. I wasn’t sure what she was expecting to find.

“You must believe if you are to do this.”

“Do what?” I asked, sure I wouldn’t like the answer.

“Sacrifice those young girls.”

I stood up. The back of my legs knocked the chair backward onto the floor, but I didn’t bother to pick it up. “I won’t do that!”

Reychel sat calmly in her chair. “You will. Chase foresaw it.”

“Chase? You mean the son you ignore? Do you care for him at all or are you just using him because he has a gift you lost?” My blood boiled and I felt my magic rising up into my chest. I turned my back on her, forcing my lungs to regulate my breath. I didn’t want to lose control in front of her.

“My relationship with my son is none of your concern. I haven’t asked you why you are sleeping in the same bed with him, starting the day your other lover died saving you, have I?”

I heard a gasp, but it wasn’t mine. I spun around, seeing the pestle teetering on the edge of the table. Johna’s hands covered her mouth, her eyes were wide with surprise. She slowly lowered them. “Reychel,” she placed a hand on Chase’s mother’s shoulder, “that was crossing a line.”

Reychel shrugged her hand off and stood up. “I didn’t cross a line. I simply met her at the line she drew. If you’ll excuse me.”

She swept her skirt up as she maneuvered around the chair. Without another word, she left the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

“Wow, I can see why Chase has so many problems with her,” I said to Johna. Maybe it wasn’t the right thing to say. She and Reychel were obviously very good friends and I was a new part of Johna’s life. Still, I understood where Chase was coming from.

“I wish you would have known Reychel when she was your age.” Johna picked up the pestle, setting it gently in the mortar. She set about cleaning up the rest of her herbs, placing them in small bags. “She wasn’t ever a strong fighter, but her belief in doing the right thing ruled every action. She didn’t want the life she was given, but she walked through it better than most girls might have. I think, perhaps, her unwillingness to start a war was what helped her. Had she been hungry for destruction, things might not have turned out well for any of us.”

I fingered at my corset. It suddenly felt far too tight. “So what happened? Why is she so bitter?”

“Reychel’s gift also led to madness. She asked to be severed from her gift to stop the progression. We did as she asked, because we all knew she was quickly losing her grip on reality. Her visions were becoming more violent and disturbing by the day. She saw herself kill her husband, Mark, and unborn son, Chase, and she knew she couldn’t live that way. We agreed to sever her, knowing she’d forget her entire life up until that point.”

Johna paused. She set down her herbal bags and faced me. Her eyes darkened and her face turned grim.

“She remembered everything. Chase did something from the womb, protected her in some way. At first we all thought it was a blessing, but as time went on she fell into occasional bouts of depression. I think the weight of knowing she’d lost the gift she’d fought so hard to control and understand was harder on her than anyone realized. In a way, she blamed Chase. If his gift hadn’t intervened, she wouldn’t have known.”

“But she remembered her husband and her whole life! I can’t understand why she would be upset about that. She should be grateful to Chase.”

“Reychel didn’t know about her gift until she was a teenager and then she had to fight to learn how to use it, through trials you cannot even fathom. Within a moment, her gift was ripped from her. Yes, it was her choice, but none of us can truly know what it was like.”

I ran my hands through my hair. Part of me felt sorry for her, but another part wanted to punch her. Reychel had a husband and a son who loved her and needed her. The loss of her magic shouldn’t push her away from them.

“Her husband? Does she treat him well?”

Johna smiled. “Mark fell in love with Reychel the moment he met her. He worshipped the ground she walked on. Nothing she could do would ever turn him away from her. He cares for her unlike any other man I’ve ever seen.”

“But he and Chase have a good relationship, right?”

Johna nodded. “That they do, child. In the times Reychel couldn’t connect with her son, Mark did most of the raising. Most didn’t notice. A father has more of a hand in his son’s raising than a woman once the boy is older than four or so.”

“And how were they when Chase was held captive?”

Johna put a hand on my shoulder, steering me toward the door. “That’s another story for another day. I want you to go back to your chambers and lay down. You’ve had a big, confusing day. There’s much you need to process.”

“There’s more I need to understand. Can’t you tell me more about what I’m supposed to do? I need to know what Wren’s warning means.” I pleaded with Johna, taking her hands in mine and squeezing them.

“You know all I know. The rest is between you and Eloh.”

I held back the urge to roll my eyes again. How could I work with a goddess I didn’t fully believe in? It was possible all of my visions were just dreams brought on because everyone talked non-stop about Eloh.

“And next time, Lianne, walk to my room and knock on the door. I know you’re excited to use your gift, but it’s rude to open a portal into someone else’s room without letting them know you’re coming first.”