The Summer of Me & You (27 page)

I was alive. I was meant to be here. Hearts had been broken, but life wasn't. I would make things right. This was the worst time to be up here on this water tower. I'd just spent the most amazing day with Kayleigh, made love to her—just like my father had with my mom. I couldn't possibly imagine how Kayleigh would feel if I accidentally fell to my death with no goodbye. No last words. Nothing. Would she remember what I'd said to her last? Would she remember how I looked when I made love to her? Or how she felt with me?

Oh how her mom must've felt knowing that it was my mother who had seen him alive last—who'd been with him last. My own heart felt bruised just thinking about it.

For everyday of her life, there wouldn't be a day that went by that I wouldn't tell Kayleigh how much I loved her. I wasn't my father.

I wouldn't cheat on her. I wouldn't kill myself in the middle of the night and leave her heartbroken.

I understood everything now.

That was a lot to have to live with. I was so glad my mom told me the truth. I could let go now, knowing that he hadn't abandoned us. I knew why Kayleigh's mom “hated” me, it wasn't
me
she hated—it was the memories, what she saw every time she looked at me. But I would make sure she'd know—and see—how much I loved her daughter. And that I'd never do anything like this to hurt her.
 

If a guy fell from a tower in the middle of the night, what would race across his mind? Would time slow down? Would he see everything that would never be, flashing through his mind all at once? Would he close his eyes?

Morbid, melancholy thoughts.

I didn't want to ever know.

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

car wrecks & getaways

*

“I can't believe he's dead.”

For minutes, after hearing the news, I couldn't breathe.

“I can't believe Mr. Macon is dead, either. There's no way I can make that film now,” I said. “We were all supposed to meet back up at the end of the summer, but....”

Gunner couldn't hold it together. He bawled. We were in Kayleigh's room, sitting on the floor. Gunner was leaned on her shoulder. I was on the other side of Kayleigh.

“How did it happen?” I asked Kayleigh, because Gunner couldn't talk.

“He was in a car wreck last night out on the highway. Head on collision. There's no survivors.”

“Oh no.”

“Would both of you just shut up? I don't wanna talk about it. It's all my fault,” he sobbed. “Ben was on his way to see
me
.”
 

I tugged on Kayleigh's arm and mouthed,
Ben?
 

Tell you later
she mouthed back.
 

Okay...
 

Her mom
sent up more snacks. We'd been holed up in her room for hours. I stood up and took the snacks from her. “Let me know if you guys need anything else.” She quietly left the room.

“Gunner,” Kayleigh said. “You need to eat.”

“I don't want to eat.”

Kayleigh's mom had sent up a tray of finger sandwiches and cheesecake bites.

“I know you're hurting right now, but you need to eat,” Kayleigh told him again. He sat up and I passed him the food tray. As soon as he'd found out the news, he'd rushed over to Kayleigh's house because his mother wouldn't let him suffer in peace. Something about how gay people get punished by God. Poor Gunner.

Mr. Macon was gay?

Oh!
Ben.
Mr. Macon's first name was Ben.
 

Ben and Gunner?

It clicked in my head. I didn't need Kayleigh to explain.

Oh wow.

Oh shit.

Dang. I never knew.

I had my phone on vibrate so we wouldn't be disturbed. It buzzed in my pocket. Mom had sent me a text.

Guess who's here. It's your favorite person. Brian...
 

My uncle Brian was in town. Stephen's brother.
 

Be home later. Here with Kayleigh and Gunner. Our teacher's dead.
 

There was a tap on Kayleigh's door. “Yes?” she said.
 

Her mother opened the door and peeked inside. “Gunner's mom just called. She needs him to come home.”

“Why?” Gunner said. “So she can torture me?” But he stood up anyway. “I'll see you guys later,” he said, leaving.

My phone buzzed again. Mom sent me a sad face.

“Do you need to go?” Kayleigh asked.

“I don't
need
to go,” I told her.
 

“It's okay. You can call me later.”

***

Brian, Stephen and mom were sitting at the table, playing cards. Alison was watching cartoons on TV.

“What brings you in?” I asked Brian.

“Wanted to see your ass,” he said. “Sit down, I'll deal you in.”

“Nah, thanks. Not in the mood today. Teacher died last night.”

“Dude, that's terrible.”

I joined Alison instead, but didn't really watch the cartoons. I just sat on the couch, texting Kayleigh.

“So,” Brian said. “You up for watching that beach house for me?”

“What?” I asked.

“Didn't Stephen and your mom tell you? You're going to watch my beach house.”

“Nope,” I glanced up. “They didn't tell me that.”

Brian stood up from the table. “Well come on, I'll tell you all about it.” I followed him outside. We walked down the road and when we were away from the house, he said, “Okay, look. I don't need you to watch the summer beach house. But I figured you'd want to. Look around. You just graduated, your mom needs a break. Rebekah is doing whatever it is that she does. You're a teenager. You don't need to stay cooped up around here so I'm offering you my beach house for a week. Take it. It's a great excuse for you to hook up with a hot babe and have a blast. I know how hard Stephen is on you, sometimes.”

Wow, did he really just say all of that. “When did you become so cool, Brian?”

“Okay, I'm not sure whether I should feel complimented or insulted. You know I've always been the cooler brother.”

“True. You're the best step uncle a guy could ever have.”

“I convinced your mom to let you watch the beach house for me. I pretended to be in desperate need of a house sitter. I asked her weeks ago. At first, they suggested Rebekah watch it. No way in hell. She's my niece and all, but if Rebekah gets those keys to that house, she'll just trash it or have a drug party. You don't do drugs, and if you do, at least I know it'll be the good kind.”

Whatever the hell that meant.

“Yeah, Rebekah won't be back,” I told him.

“I heard.” He handed me the key. “Don't lose this. You remember where the beach house is in North Port?”

“Yep,” I told him. “How could I forget?”

“Letting you stay there for the rest of the summer is a graduation present from me. Don't let me down.”

“How am I getting there? Stephen's being a hardass about the car.”

“I'll let you take my convertible,” he said. “I trust you with it.”

“And you've cleared this with both my mom and Stephen?”

“Yep. All but the girl part. You may not want to tell them about that.”

“I agree. I'll just keep that to myself.”

“So,” he said. “How pretty is she?”

CHAPTER THIRTY

Steal you away

*

Mom hadn't really spoken to me since she'd caught Kaleb and me together in my bed. The day of Mr. Macon's funeral, it rained and rained. After he was buried, I went to check on Gunner. He was crying, alone. I hugged him.

“The one good thing about the rain? You can cry in it and no one will know the difference. God, I just had to get away from everyone,” he sniffled.

“I know.” I needed to get away, too. “Are you gonna be okay?”

“Eventually. Someday. But for now? No. I just need to mourn.”

After everyone left the funeral, I found my mother hovering over someone's grave. The rain had ceased and the clouds parted.

“Mom, I really wish you'd talk to me.”

She sighed. “You know, you can protect yourself against a lot of things in this world, but the one thing you cannot protect yourself against is getting your heart broken.”

“Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you, but I love him.”

She turned to look at me. “Not you, Kayleigh. You didn't break my heart.
He
did.”
 

“Who is
he
?” She moved back and I glanced down at the grave.
Kaleb Scheffler.
Kaleb's
father
? He was
dead?
Did Kaleb
know
? He never mentioned it to me, not once. My dad had skipped out on us, we didn't know where he was. Kaleb said his father had done the same thing to him, but...he was
dead
? I needed to go to him. Now. This was
big.
 

“I don't understand.”

“You never forget your first love. Not even when they rip out your heart. When he cheated on me, I thought that hurt, but the worst thing he could've done was die.” I heard the tears in her voice. She was about to cry. “I'm so sorry, Kayleigh, but I was only looking out for you. Every time I saw Kaleb's face, I saw
him.
I didn't want the same thing to happen to you.”
 

“Mom...what
happened?
”
 

“Maybe I'll tell you one day, but right now it hurts too much to talk about it.” She was incredibly melancholy. My heart hurt for her. She spoke again. “I'm going away for a few days. With a friend. You think you'll be okay?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I'll be just fine. I'm worried about
you.
”
 

“I'll pull through,” she said. “I always do. You have no idea how painful it is to love someone who's dead. And I hope you never will. I still can't let go. When someone dies so suddenly, everything you shared with that person is suspended in time forever. Almost as if you're waiting for someone to press rewind, or press play. But it never happens.” She gazed at his grave. I never knew she hurt this much. I deserved the terrible daughter award of the year for all the mean things I'd said to her. I couldn't possibly understand her pain. Kaleb loved me. I loved him. Some people were more fortunate than others. She was only trying to protect me.

“Mom,” I said. “I feel so terrible for everything I've said to you, but—you've got to start living for
you.
Don't worry about
me.
I can handle life. You've taught me how. I just need you to know that I'm in love with Kaleb and he loves me, too. I trust him. And if being with Kaleb means that at some point I might be in pain, then that's what I want, because I couldn't imagine anything else. Love is rare, it's a beautiful thing. And I want this beautiful thing. I deserve it.
You
deserve it.”
 

She smiled. “
Look at how fearless I raised you. How strong you are to dare to breathe.”

I hugged her. Everything finally made sense. We stood there for a few moments before she said, “I'm applying to be a travel nurse. When you graduate, I'm not staying here.”

“And you shouldn't. Go see the world. Help people.”

***

Later that day, Kaleb stopped by my house.

“Summer is almost over,” I said and felt the sting of pain flash through my heart at the thought of not seeing Kaleb much after this. “You have to go away for college. I return to high school. We won't see each other for a while.”

“Yeah, but I'll be back for the Holidays. And for summer. Definitely for summer.”

“Until some other girl scoops you up and claims you for herself.”

He grinned. “You still don't get it, Kayleigh. But I do, and that's all that matters. You're so worried about me choosing to be with another girl, but you have no idea how much I don't want to leave for college. I'm scared, Kayleigh. I admit it. I'm absolutely terrified.” He cupped my face. “At any moment, some guy who's not me could realize how fucking beautiful you are and steal you away.”