The Stranger Inside (12 page)

I opened my eyes. Then I whimpered, squeezing them shut again. There were more. More shadows. They were creeping along. Hunting for Kenzie. I swallowed, trying to find my voice—actually make a sound. “There’s no Kenzie here!” I screamed.

And like that, they were gone. The room was empty, quiet. No more shadows. No more whispering. Nothing.

I blinked. “What the …?”

I let out a sob.

I was
so
losing it.

CHAPTER 7

Tuesday night I waited (impatiently) at my front window for Sawyer. He was picking me up himself since Mom and Craig were out of town. This was the big night, the one I’d been waiting for. I was finally going to meet Sawyer’s band.

When Sawyer finally arrived he seemed nervous. “Maybe we could just stay here,” he suggested. “We’ve never hung out here before. It’s so clean.”

What was his deal? “Sawyer, I want to meet your friends,” I said impatiently. “And I want to hear you play. Don’t you want me to hear you play?”

“Sure,” he said, but he didn’t sound sure.

We were going to Zack’s, the bass player’s house. For the past month the band had been playing in Zack’s garage. Instead of knocking at Zack’s front door, we went around to the garage and let ourselves in. Two guys were standing together at the drums while the third, a tall, lanky blond, sat behind the drum set and beat a rhythm they seemed to be deciding on. All three turned to look at us as we entered the room.

“Well, this is her,” Sawyer announced nervously, gesturing towards me. “This is Jodi.”

“Jodi?” The blond looked confused. “I thought her name was Kenzie.”

I flinched.

“Yeah.” The black-haired guy agreed, his eyes raking me over. He gave a wicked smile. “You never mentioned a Jodi—you’ve been talking our ears off about a Kenzie.”

My stomach took a dive. I felt sick. Sawyer had been talking about Kenzie? I glared up at him, but he was busy looking at the third guy.

Oh!

My heart exploded.

Jeremy.

“Man, Sawyer, this is why you’ve been such a sketch lately?” Jeremy said wryly, sauntering over to us. “Because you’re dating my step-sister?”

“Jeremy,” I choked out in a whisper. What was he doing here?

Jeremy looked from Sawyer to me, his wry expression turning to tenderness. He gave me an affectionate smile. “Hi Jodi.”

My heart thudded. Why was he here? “Hi,” I finally managed to croak.

He came closer to me, touched my hair. Like, caressed it. For a moment we just stood in silence, staring at each other. Had we been expecting this moment—either of us, in any way—I’m sure we would have guarded ourselves, never allowed it to happen. But as it was, in that moment, there was only me and Jeremy. Just the two of us. No one else.

“Hey,” the blond murmured, “that’s Jeremy’s Jodi, huh?”

That snapped me out of my daze, made me step back. How long had Jeremy and I been standing here, staring at each other?

“She
used
to be Jeremy’s Jodi,” Sawyer said. “But now she’s mine.” He tried putting his arm around me, but I pushed him away.

“You’ve been calling me Kenzie,” I growled.

“I didn’t tell them anything about her.” Sawyer followed me as I stormed out of the garage. “Jodi, let me explain.”

He tried grabbing me, calming me down, but no way. I shoved him and kicked at him. “Stay away from me!”

 I shot off running. Running to get away from him, away from the whole situation. I felt nauseous, my stomach all twisty and violent.

Once I started running, I just kept going, deciding to run all the way home. No way was I ever getting back in the car with that backstabbing traitor. My entire being was on fire. I wanted to claw Sawyer’s eyes out.

Sawyer kept an easy pace at my heels. “If you’re trying to go home, you’re going the wrong direction.”

I slowed down, feeling stupid, but I didn’t turn around.

Sawyer caught my arm and tried pulling me to him, but I wiggled away, tempted to slug him.

“I don’t want to hear it, Sawyer,” I growled through gritted teeth. “I don’t. I hate you! I hate you both. You and Jeremy—and this whole twisted game you’ve been playing with me.”

“It wasn’t a game. Jodi, I didn’t tell you about Jeremy being in the band because I was afraid you wouldn’t give me a chance if you knew he and I were friends.”

I fought to hold back the tears welling in my eyes, fought to be strong. Only it was hard. There was a knife in my back. I was about to keel over. “The two of you were laughing at me this whole time? Stupid, crazy Jodi?” I wanted to punch him, slap him, rail on him. “How could you do that to me?”

“No, Jodi. It wasn’t like that.” He put his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to stay. “Jeremy didn’t even know I was seeing you. None of the band did. I’ve been telling them I’m seeing a girl named Kenzie.”

I shook my head. It didn’t make sense. None of it. I brought my hand to my burning throat. “Why’d you say that?”

“Because I wanted time with you—alone. I didn’t want them interfering. Look, can’t you understand that? I just wanted a chance with you.”

I gazed up at him a moment, unsure. He sounded so sincere, looked sincere. I wasn’t so angry anymore, just really, really confused.

“I wanted us on solid ground before you saw Jeremy again,” he explained. “Just understand, okay? I was worried. Man, I was terrified.”

“How did you even know about Jeremy and me?” I asked. Somehow he seemed to know we used to be a couple, but I never told him. I never had the courage to bring up such a painful conversation.

“I’ve been his friend since the fourth grade, Jodi.”

My mouth popped open and he grinned. But then he set his jaw, closing his eyes. When he finally opened them, he stared deep into mine, like he was begging me to understand. “I had a huge crush on you, Jodi—I wasn’t kidding about that, or exaggerating.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “But you never even looked at me.” His voice grew grim. “You never looked at anyone but Jeremy.” He let out a breath. “And Jeremy … he ditched us that year, spending all his time with you.”

“That was a long time ago,” I said softly.

 Sawyer nodded. “Yeah. But you guys were intense. I mean, it was like you didn’t even notice there were other people in the world—not when you were together. So, I just wanted to make sure I had a chance to compete with Jeremy before you saw him again. Jodi, I don’t even expect to win, I just want a … chance.”

I narrowed my eyes, furrowing my brow. “What are you talking about? Jeremy and I are through. It’s been almost three years.”

Sawyer tilted his head, not looking convinced. “Okay,” he said after a long pause, like he didn’t want to push it. “So what about us? Are we okay?”

I gazed at him, not sure. He had issues. He was warped. But then … so was I. And he held me when I needed him. When I saw the shadows, he didn’t ask questions. Just held me. Hesitantly, I nodded. “I guess.”

He took my hand, leading me back to Zack’s.

I could see his three friends peeking at us from behind the curtain of the front widow, but when they saw us coming they ducked out of sight.

“So, are you going to come in and hear us practice?” Sawyer asked when we reached the house.

I shook my head, too embarrassed to face his friends, especially Jeremy, after being such a spaz—not that I didn’t have every right to be, but they wouldn’t understand.

Sawyer didn’t try to persuade me to stay. Instead he helped me back into his car. Silently, he held me for a moment, his hands pressed against my back. It was calming. And I needed calming after seeing Jeremy.

As we were getting ready to leave, Zack, the guy with the blue-black hair, came strolling out to us. Sawyer rolled down the window for him and Zack stuck his head in, resting his hands on the top of the car. “You guy’s taking off?”

Sawyer said we were and Zack nodded, but his eyes were on me. “I remember you,” he said. “You don’t remember me though, huh?”

I shook my head. He didn’t look familiar to me—not even slightly.

“Well, I’ve changed a lot.” He took a long drag on his cigarette. “Anyway, my girlfriend’s having the guys over for poker Friday—you’ll come, right?”

I bit the inside of my cheek. I was embarrassed of the scene he and the rest of the band had witnessed—Sawyer and me fighting. How lame. It made me never want to see him again, ever. But, then again, he bothered inviting me. Maybe he didn’t think I was a
total
dork. Maybe.

Besides, what could I say? No? Yeah, that would make things better.

“Sure,” I said at last. “I’ll come.”

Zack nodded, his eyes still intently on me. He backed away, still gazing. It made me feel funny.

On our way home Sawyer sounded relieved. “Well, now it’s over,” he said. “Finally. Now you know—Jeremy and I are friends.”

I gazed at him, realizing how hard it must have been keeping me a secret from his band. It had been a weird thing to do, but still, hard.

“The thing is, though,” Sawyer said, “I guess you think it’s over between you and Jeremy, but I don’t think it is. No way. Jodi, today when you saw him—it was like the two of you were going to make-out right there in the garage.”

I blanched. “We were just … shocked to see each other.” After a moment, I added, “I told you what he said to my mom that day—I’m a stranger to him.”

 “Yeah, I know what you said. But that day at practice—after he went and reclaimed Norton—he kept swearing about being locked out of his house. He was pissed at your mom. But when I asked him about you, he just shook his head.” Sawyer glanced over at me. “He wouldn’t talk about it. But later he said it was good seeing you. He said he wished he hadn’t brought Chloe.”

A rush of warmth ran through me just hearing that—that Jeremy had said something nice about me. Suddenly my body was on fire. But that was bad, annoying. I didn’t want to like Jeremy. Jeremy had girls waiting in cars for him. Jeremy dumped me. I wanted to like Sawyer.

And I did like Sawyer. I liked him a lot. I was just afraid that maybe I still liked Jeremy too.

I didn’t wanna.

CHAPTER 8

Daddy’s all bloody. “I did it for you!” he cries, trying to hand me his heart. “I did it for you!”

I cower away from him, balling up at the corner of my bed. “Why Daddy? Why’d you do that?”

Sophie Jones is hacked up on my floor, her guts spilling out of her. Daddy did it. Just now. Right in front of me. He chopped her up into little tiny pieces with an ax—Chop. Chop. Chop—shouting, “Where is she? Tell me where she is, you stupid cow!”

But now he is offering me his heart. Only, I don’t take it. Can’t take it. “Why Daddy? Why?”

He sees me looking at Sophie. “I didn’t do that,” he says. “Jodi, I wouldn’t do that.”

For a moment, he’s my dad. Really my dad.

But then.

He shows me his heart. “I did this.”

I whimper, cower further away from him, sobbing.

But Daddy’s intent, impatient. He uses his heart to write on the wall. His words are big, gory, dripping in blood.

“Jodi Go Hospital.”

I jolted up from bed, a strangled scream caught in my throat. Another nightmare. At least this one was different than the car one. This one wasn’t based on real events. The bloody car one—the crash—it really happened. So, in a way it was worse. Sort of. Not to say this one wasn’t horrible. It was. It had me shivering. And sweating. Yearning for Dad. So bad.

But ugh! They were getting to me—these nightmares. Messing up my sleep big time. I had one practically every night. Only … right now it wasn’t even night. It was the middle of the day. Apparently. Sunlight streamed through my windows. I glanced at my clock. Four in the afternoon.

Wow.

What did I even do today? I couldn’t remember. Something about Daddy. Then I saw it on my nightstand.
Oh yeah. Dad’s ring
. I picked it up, held it close to my heart.

It had come in the mail this morning. Dad had been wearing it the night he died. He wore it … always. When it arrived unexpectedly, I’d cried. It was all I had left of Dad, a ring. It held mixed emotions for me though, since the New York Police had sent it as part of his effects. But still. It was part of Dad, so it was part of me.

I stared at the ring a moment, trying to think—remember my dream. I kept having the same one, over and over. Well, that dream, and the car one—me trying to save that girl. But Dad was in that dream too, giving me orders, salvaging limbs. Dad was in both dreams, a major part, always. And those two nightmares—they haunted me. I had one or the other constantly, every night.

It was almost as though Dad was trying to tell me something. Almost. But if he was, I wasn’t getting it. And it didn’t make sense, of course; one dream was real and the other so totally wasn’t. Still … if Dad was trying to tell me something—if something like that were possible, sending messages “from beyond.” If it
was
possible I was letting him down. Big time.

“Sorry Dad,” I whispered.

I held the ring tighter to me, almost feeling Dad near, as though I could feel his arms around me, his embrace. “I love you Dad.”

Pop! The television suddenly flipped on. I jumped about a mile in the air, my heart slamming against my chest.

Whhhh?

It took a moment before I realized what I’d done—accidentally switched the television on. I found the remote under the covers with me. I must have leaned against it.

Calming down a little, I rested my head against the wall, watching what was on the screen—a commercial for the Psychic Center.

I turned up the volume.

But as I watched, I didn’t calm. Instead, every hair on my arm stood on end. The commercial was talking about linking with the dead. I’d seen the commercial a hundred times before. But today it was different. Today I was drawn to it. Couldn’t look away.