The Story of Us (15 page)

He stands there, looking back at all
of us. The room is so silent, you could hear a pin drop. The
seriousness of that speech is enough to shock everyone, especially
after Mike’s M&M speech and Cora’s attempt to get people to
join the drama club. Even knowing about his sister, I’m still
shocked about the speech myself. I’m shocked that he had the guts
to say those things to his peers. He admittedly hid his sister’s
disability from his friends growing up. And yet, he just poured his
heart out about it in front of a whole classroom, most of whom are
strangers to him. I watch as he walks over to the professor, talks
to her quietly, and then leaves the room.

I raise my hand until the professor
notices me. “Can I go with him?” I ask, feeling stupid for asking,
but wanting so desperately to go tell him how beautiful that
was.

“Your speech will be right after
Michelle’s. You can go after that,” she informs me.

My shoulders sag in disappoint. I sit
through Michelle’s speech on why rescuing a pet from a shelter is
better than adopting. Then, I stand up and give mine. The whole
point of mine was for Craig to hear it. It seems silly to read it
now. It’s personal and embarrassing, but it would have been worth
the humiliation if Craig would have been sitting here to hear it.
Although, honestly, I’ve been freaking out about reading it in
front of him, so maybe this is for the best. Maybe he was never
meant to hear it after all. I read my poem from memory, trying to
remember to breathe in between lines. I’m shaky and nervous, but I
manage.

He opens doors for
me,

Says all the right
things.

He’s sweet and
sensitive,

And wants more than just a
fling.

My friends are
jealous

Because he’s charming and
good.

He respects me and waits
for me,

And I should be happy… I
should.

But you give me a
rollercoaster kind of rush.

And it feels like
fireworks from the slightest touch.

You drive me crazy and I
complain,

‘
Cause it’s that kind of
love that’ll drive me insane.

You’re frustratingly
intoxicating,

So much so that I can’t
seem to go without.

A high I never
expected,

Addicted, without a
doubt.

Because you send my head
spinning.

And I can’t figure you
out.

But I’m more alive than
ever,

And I like the ‘me’ you
bring about.

I should stay away from
you.

I should push you far and
run.

But then the high is
replaced with nothing,

And I’m back to feeling
numb.

So I’ll relish in your
high,

And I’ll suffer in
silence.

Because I’m not alive
without you,

But I can’t depend on your
reliance.

I can tell everyone’s confused, but it
doesn’t matter. It was only really meant for one person and he
wasn’t here to hear it.

Chapter 12

Hailey’s going to Michigan
to spend Christmas break with her dad and Drew isn’t, despite her
asking him to. I can see how upset she is but she keeps insisting
that she’s fine. I’m not sure what to do to reassure her, since I’m
not entirely convinced that she should be reassured anymore. Maybe
she’s right. Drew
has
seemed distant towards her lately. And the fact that he’s not
going to Michigan with her is kind of odd. He’s traveled there with
her before and usually jumps at the chance to. She doesn’t offer to
take me to Michigan with her as a replacement, maybe because she’s
hoping Drew will change his mind at the last minute, or more likely
probably because she assumes that I’ll be with my own family. I
don’t tell her otherwise, because then I’d feel like it would just
be a pity invite. So I pack up my bag to head home to an empty
house.

I drive with Hailey, since she’s
spending a day and a half at home before her flight leaves. Unlike
the drive up here, the drive back home is dull and quiet. We don’t
blast the music and sing loudly. There’s a tension in the air that
says neither one of us are very happy right now. But we both
pretend for the others’ sake. I don’t want Hailey to know that my
parents are leaving me alone for the holiday because it’s
embarrassing and I don’t want her pity. I don’t want anyone’s pity.
I hate it; the ‘I feel so bad for you’ looks. And she doesn’t want
me to know how upset she is over Drew, even though she has to know
that I know. I thought by now we’d be laughing about how crazy she
was to have ever thought Drew would cheat on her. But instead, now
we’re both thinking it. She drops me off at my house and I say
goodbye, knowing I’ll be visiting her house by the end of the day.
Might as well spend as much time there before she leaves and I have
no one.

I walk into my house and
take in the familiar smell. It looks and smells exactly the same as
it did a few months ago, but somehow it
feels
different. I walk up to my
bedroom and start to unpack right away. When I’m done, I lay on my
bed and it feels wonderful. I forgot how amazing the simple
pleasure of sleeping in your own bed can feel. And that’s exactly
what I end up doing – sleeping. Before I know it, I’m being woken
up and the first thing I notice is that it’s dark out. I slept the
afternoon away. The second thing I notice is too many people in my
room. I try to shake off the foggy haze of sleep so I can focus on
the faces. Hailey, Drew, and Craig.

“What are you guys doing here?” My
voice cracks with sleepiness.

Hailey answers, “We’re stealing you
away from your parents for a few hours. I tried to ask them, but I
don’t think they’re home…” she trails off in question.

“They went out,” I lie.

“Oh. Okay, come on,” urges.

“Where are we going?”

“We heard there’s a bonfire down at
Fin’s because he’s back from college and mommy and daddy aren’t
home,” Craig answers this time.

“Who’s Fin?”

Craig turns to Drew, “Private school
girls.” He rolls his eyes.

Evidently Fin was quite popular at
Drew and Craig’s old high school, because the backyard is packed
with college kids returning home for winter break. It’s freezing
out, so most of us hang out inside. The ‘bon fire’ is really just a
small fire pit and it isn’t enough to warm everyone here in the
late days of December in New England. The actual fireplace inside,
though, is more than enough. I don’t know a lot of the people here,
since Hailey and I didn’t go to the same school as Drew and Craig,
so I just sit on the couch with my beer and watch everyone else.
Drew sticks with Hailey, looking just as lost as I am. He doesn’t
talk to too many people here even though he went to school with all
of them. Craig, on the other hand, is completely in his element. I
don’t think there’s one person here who hasn’t said hi to him. Or
one girl here who hasn’t tried flirting with him. I watch him
intently, trying to figure out just when I fell for this guy who is
completely wrong for me. He comes over to me and takes a seat on
the couch beside me.

“What’s wrong, princess?”

“Nothing. Why?”

“You look bored. Or maybe upset? Did I
do something?”

“No. I just don’t really know anyone
here, that’s all.”

“Come on, I’ll introduce you,” he
offers.

So I walk around with him while he
introduces me to more names than I could ever remember. He doesn’t
introduce me with a title. Not ‘this is my friend, Val,’ or ‘this
is Drew’s girlfriend’s best friend, Val.’ He keeps it simple and I
can tell some of his old high school friends are wondering more
than just my name. I can see the question in their eyes, ‘why am I
being introduced to her?’ but Craig never answers the unspoken
question. I stand there, sipping my drink, listening to Craig catch
up with old friend after old friend, and then another, and then
another. While he’s in deep conversation with some girl who I can
tell he’s slept with, I slip away to refill my cup. I can see
Hailey and Drew sitting on a chair together, talking. I think about
going over to them, but I’d feel like I was intruding. So instead,
I slip out the back door to where there’s still a few people
hanging out by the fire pit. I feel the bitter cold hit me as soon
as I step outside. Although I have a sweater on, it’s not nearly
enough to fight off the chill, so I inch closer to the fire and
warm my hands over it. Suddenly, I feel a hand on the small of my
back. I look over my shoulder and smile up at Craig.

“Hey. You didn’t have to follow me out
here. I’m okay. You can go catch up with your friends.”

“Here,” he says, taking off his
sweatshirt and offering it to me.

“Thanks.” I pull it over my head and
inhale the musky scent of his cologne.

“Looks good on you,” he remarks,
raising an eyebrow.

I hit his shoulder, “Shut
up.”

“No, really. There’s something
incredibly sexy about you wearing my sweatshirt.”

I just look up at him without
responding.

“Craig!” Someone yells from the
doorway.

“Go ahead,” I encourage him. “I’m
fine, really. You don’t have to babysit me.”

He looks at me for a moment and then
he turns to walk back inside. He stops just before the door and
turns back to me, “Val?”

I used to get so mad when he’d call me
princess. Now, when he doesn’t, it causes a sting in my chest that
I can’t explain. “Yeah?”

“Don’t go anywhere, okay? I’ll be
right back.”

I just nod my head. I told him I’m
fine. I’m not sure why he’s treating me like a baby, but I don’t
fight him on it, either. Honestly, it’s better to have him around.
I don’t know anyone here, other than Hailey and Drew, who are in
their own little world. And I don’t want to pop their bubble with
everything going on between them right now. Back on campus, it’s
easier to mingle at parties because there’s always new people.
Here, it’s everyone from Craig’s old high school. Everyone knows
everyone, except for me. I’m an outsider. So, I just stand around
the fire until I’m too cold to bare it anymore, and then despite
Craig’s asking me to stay here, I go back inside. When I walk in, I
see him doing shots with a big group of people. I don’t go up to
him because he’s with his friends and I told him he doesn’t have to
babysit me. In the time it takes me to walk from the kitchen to the
living room, I watch him do four more shots. When I get to the
living room, I search for Hailey and Drew, but don’t see them
anywhere. I send her a text.

“Where r u?”

“We left. Craig said u
guys were fine.”

Great. I don’t know anyone here other
than Craig. And he happens to be downing alcohol like he’ll never
taste it again. I make my way back into the kitchen and find Craig
making out with some girl. He seriously confuses me. One minute he
seems completely into me and the next he’s having threesomes or
messing around with a different girl on the change of every hour. I
see a side to him that’s sweet and vulnerable and then, bam, it’s
gone. And it’s replaced with this guy; the guy who seems cold and
heartless. He told me to wait for him outside, while he’s in here
doing this. Why did he ask me to wait for him out there? He told
our ride to leave and then pretty much abandoned me. I should be
angrier, but for some reason I’m not. It’s just so typical of
him.

I pat him on the shoulder and he waves
a hand behind his back, dismissing me without ever even glancing up
from his liplock. So this time I push his shoulder, which actually
infuriates him.

“What the hell?” he yells, turning
around, his face scrunched in ager. But I see his expression
instantly soften when he realizes it’s me.

I cross my arms. “You told our ride to
leave. ‘What the hell?!’ is right.”

“Sorry, princess,” He lets the girl
he’s holding go and she looks at him with confusion in her eyes. I
almost feel bad for her. I can tell the make-out session they were
having meant far more to her than it did to him. I want to tell her
he’s an asshole, but the dirty look she gives me makes me refrain.
“I was coming back out to you when these guys talked me into doing
a couple shots with them,” Craig explains.

“I don’t care. Do whatever you want.
I’m just letting you know that I’m going home.” I turn around to
leave, but he grabs my arm to stop me.

“Wait. I’ll walk you. It’s the least I
can do.” I can see the sincerity in his eyes, despite the alcohol
on his breath.

“I’ll be fine.” I shrug. “Stay with
your friends. Really, it’s fine.”

“Please?” he asks, his eyes begging
even though his voice is calm.

“Okay,” I give. “Let’s go
then.”

He nods to a couple guys on the way
out, but doesn’t even bother saying goodbye to the girl he was
holding just a few short moments ago. We walk in silence until we
get to the end of the street.

“Do you want your sweatshirt?” I ask
him, realizing that if I’m still cold in his sweatshirt, he must be
freezing with only long-sleeves on.