The Stern and Wild Ones (The Seeker Series) (22 page)

"Jack!" I clutched his hand, gasping. "The vision! It was the vision!"

So, of course I had to tell Grams about it. She was concerned and disturbed that I hadn't told anyone, especially Cassie. "Why, Ally? What were you afraid of?"

"I don't know, Grams. I just feel like Cassie is hiding something, keeping something important from me. I'm sorry, I just..."

"Look, Mrs. Moran, I don't think now is the time to go into all of this," Jack interrupted, pulling me back into his arms, kissing the top of my head. "Ally's not up to it. Why don't you just finish telling Ally what happened yesterday so she can get back to resting?"

Wow. I have never seen anyone stand up to her like that. She just looked at him intently for a moment before nodding and then continuing.  "Once we had ascertained that you were alive, I called the police and found something to tie up that horrible man's hands with in case he woke up. I couldn't get Jack to leave your side. He just sat there, holding you, getting absolutely covered in your blood, until the paramedics came. I don't think I'll ever forget that sight, as long as I live." She suddenly let out an involuntary sob.

Poor Grams! This had been really hard on her and mom. I got up and went over and put my arms around her, hugging her from behind. "I love you, Grams."

She sniffed and cleared her throat. "Well, anyway. Your mother met us at the hospital and we sat with poor Jack while they stitched your head. We were all very concerned when you didn't wake for so long. I couldn't budge Jack out of your room. Your mother, Tara, and I had just gone down to get some coffee when you woke up." She paused to blow her nose.

"
So that’s why you were wearing scrubs when I woke up, huh? You got my blood all over your clothes. God, Jack, I am so sorry.” And I kissed him right there in front of Grams. “I love you, you know,” I whispered.

“I know,” he whispered back and kissed me.

“I just don't understand why this all happened," I said as I disengaged from Jack. "Why would Veronica be involved with Coach Trevino? And why did she call him ‘Nick’ in my visions? His name is Jonathan. I just don't understand." I noticed a look, some sort of unspoken communication passing between Grams and Jack. "What? What are you guys not telling me?"

"Tell her, Jack," said Grams.

"I just don't think she needs to hear it all right now. She needs to rest."

I sat up and turned to look in his face. "I'm fine, Jack. Please tell me what you know."

He sighed. "Alright. It's not that much, actually, since Trevino's not talking. While the cops were searching his office, they found a large stash of steroids. It looks like he was selling them to some of the students. At least that's what I'm guessing from the questions I was asked by the cops. There were cops all over school today. They even had drug dogs, so I think they might be looking for more than just steroids. Ally, you may have busted a drug ring at school."

There were really no more details that he could share with me, so after a few more questions
I curled up next to Jack while he got his notes out for the review and started going over them with me. I just couldn’t keep my eyes opened and fell asleep within a few minutes.  I woke up as Jack was carrying me to bed, which would have been much more exciting in another context.

"Jack, I can walk. You don't have to carry me."

"Shh. Just let me. It's the first time I've felt useful in days." He laid me on my bed, tucked the comforter up around my chin, kissed me, and turned to go. I caught his hand.

"Stay with me, please? Just until I fall asleep."

He lay down next to me, on top of the comforter, and pulled me into his arms. "Go to sleep, querida. I love you." His warmth and nearness helped me fall into a mercifully dreamless sleep.

It turned out that I didn't go to school the next day. My head was still killing me, and the school called to say that my teachers had all decided to give me a special exclusion from my finals. I would just get the current grade I had in the class. Since they were all A's and B's, I graciously accepted their offer and went back to sleep. All I wanted to do was sleep. When I was asleep I could forget.

****

Cassie came over later
that afternoon to check on me. I'm sure she was wondering if I would be able to travel on Saturday.

"Ally, honey, we need to talk. I know you're hurting and I know you're not trusting me much right now."

"I can't believe Grams told you."

"I'm glad she did," Cassie reached over and took my hand. "I'm so sorry I've been so secretive, sweetheart. I'm not really trying to keep secrets." At my disbelieving look, she held up her hand. "Hear me out. Ok, so maybe I have been keeping secrets, but for a good reason, and never to hurt you. Ally, I just didn't want to tell you too much too soon, especially before we really know anything."

I looked at her for several moments before sighing in resignation. It was too exhausting to stay angry; I simply didn't have the energy for it. "Ok, Cassie, but no more secrets, huh? I need you to be honest from now on. I can handle it."

"Deal, as far as it's up to me. This trip to Galway will make so many things clear. Things I can't explain right now."

I just nodded, too tired to do anything else. I lay my head back down on the arm of the sofa and closed my eyes.

"Ally, what you went through was truly horrifying, but you can't shut yourself away like this. You need to talk about it, to process it, so you can begin to deal with it, to begin to heal."

"Cassie, I don't even know how to feel about it. Maybe we should leave the counseling to Grams. When I start to think about it, to remember, I can't handle it.”

"Honey, I know. You saw some things that no one should have to see, much less a 17-year-old girl. I can help, Ally. You can share what you saw with me through our gifts. I can help you bear this burden, just a little bit, until you have had some time to come to terms with it." She held out her hands to me.

"Cassie, why should you have to see it, or experience it? It was so awful..."

"Because that's what Seers do to help each other, if we can.
Please, Ally. Let me help."

So I sat up and put my hands in hers and remembered; I remembered the horrible, foul words Coach Trevino was shouting at Veronica. I remembered her, lying half-nude across his desk, begging me to help her. I remembered him undoing his pants, preparing to violate her once again. I couldn't catch my breath; it felt like I was hyperventilating as the scenes ran through my brain over and over. I felt Cassie squeeze my hands; I knew she was seeing what I saw. My breathing started to calm down. It wasn't that I was no longer seeing the memories; they were no less vivid. I can't really explain--it sounds selfish to say that knowing Cassie saw it, too, made it easier for me to bear. I didn't like that about myself. Who would wish these memories on anyone?

"No, Ally. It's not selfish. It's human. We are made to bear each other's burdens. Especially for those we love." She set my hands in my lap and broke the connection. Tears were running down her face. "It is a horrible memory and I don't relish having it in my mind, but I'm so glad I could help you. It's my gift and I must use it. Just like you must use your gift. You can't run away from it."

"I don't think I deserve this gift, Cassie," I said in a small voice.

"What are you talking about? It's not a matter of deserving."

"But why couldn't I help Veronica before she got hurt so badly? I tried so many times." Now the tears were running down my face as I silently wept--wept for myself for failing to help Veronica before she was attacked so violently, wept for Veronica who would never be the same after all of this, and wept for that tiny life that was over before it had a chance to begin.

"I don't know, Ally. You were handed a very difficult situation before you were equipped to handle it. I don't know why. You also need to realize that people have free will. We can try to help, but if they won't accept, there's only so much we can do." She just held me and let me cry for a while. It was the first time I had really allowed myself to think about everything since the attack. "There," she said when I had control of myself once more. "Now I'm going to ask you to do something that will be very difficult for you."

I looked at her hesitantly.

"I want you to share the details of what happened with your grandmother, your mother, and with Jack. Probably even Tara, too, since you share everything else with her."

"No," I started shaking my head. "They do not need to hear all the gory details. Why should I tell them? I've told them the basics. That's all they need."

"You are not in charge of protecting them, Ally. That's not what love is all about. You are holding back from the people that love you the most in this world, and it will damage your relationships. Trust me on that."

I didn't want to hurt my relationships with any of them, so I said, "Ok, I will, if you think it's that important." I had something else I needed to ask her, but I was hesitant. "Cassie, did you see the vision that I...blocked?" I finished in a whisper.

She looked very serious. "I did. Ally, I had no idea you could do that.  I feel so bad that I wasn't here for you."

"Cassie, what if I hadn't blocked it? What if I could have..."

"No, Ally. Stop right there. You can't know what would have happened. I don't really understand about your future visions, Ally. That's one of the main reasons I feel you need to see the Council. Seers who can see the future are extremely rare. I don't know if you see possibilities or concrete events. We just need to get you to the Council as soon as possible."

"Proclaim the truth and do not be silent through fear."
 
- 
St. Catherine of Siena

Veronica had been allowed to wake up on Thursday afternoon as her doctors weaned her off the medications that had been keeping her asleep. By Friday, she was moved to a regular room and I was feeling well enough to pay her a short visit. I knocked softly on her door and wasn't surprised when it was her mother who opened it for me.

"Oh, Ally, come in. She's been asking for you. She's awake, but I doubt it will last for long. I'll give you a few minutes alone to talk with her." As I moved to pass her, she grabbed me in a tight hug. "Thank you," she cried against my hair. "I can't ever say that enough. You saved her, Ally."

I hugged her back, this woman I hadn't spoken to since elementary school. "It's ok. Veronica actually saved my life, too." She let me go, sniffing and muttering about needing a tissue.

I walked the rest of the way into the room, approaching the hospital bed with a feeling of dread at what she would look like. She turned to look at me, and, wow. She looked really bad. One eye was swelled almost completely shut and the rest of her face was a mass of purple bruises. "Hey, Veronica," I began lamely. "How are you?"

She shook her head very slightly. "Not too good. How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm ok. I just needed a few stitches." I took off the slouch hat I was wearing and turned to show her the gash on the back of my head.

"Oooh," she winced. "That's going to make for some interesting hairstyles. Hey, sit down, ok? I want to talk to you about what happened."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, Veronica. I know you probably just want people to leave you alone."

"No, I want to tell you what happened. You deserve to know, Ally. You tried so hard to help me for weeks, and I just pushed you away. I remember that we used to be really good friends. I wish we could be again."

"Sure. Of course we can. You just need to take care of yourself and get better."

She smiled at me, sadly, it seemed. "I never thought I would be the kind of person to be involved in something like this, Ally. It all got so messed up so fast."

"Something like what? I haven't been back to school and Jack hasn't said much, except that the coach had a bunch of steroids in his office. What's going on?"

"You haven't been watching TV? You haven't seen the news?" she asked incredulously.

"No, nothing. I've mostly been sleeping."

"Oh my God, Ally. You exposed a steroid scandal at Sandia High School. Coach Trevino was selling steroids to a bunch of the guys on the football team and the wrestling team, even some basketball players."

"Wow, Jack said something like that, but I had no idea it was so big.  I didn't do anything. I just tried to keep that
asshole from raping you." This was shocking news to me. Jack had certainly down played the whole thing.

"I don't know how you haven't heard anything about it. I've heard that there were drug dogs and searches at school and that they've arrested another coach. All the boys have been kicked off the teams. My dad's talking to our lawyer because I might be in trouble, too."

"Wow. I had no idea," I just stood there, unable to believe what had been going on. I had done a superbly bad job of figuring
anything
out. Jack had been closer to figuring it out; at least he had called it on the steroids thing. "Veronica, how did you get involved with Coach Trevino? He was seriously terrifying. I've never seen anyone that angry before."

"That's what steroids can do to you, I guess. It's so embarrassing to tell you about him. I really thought I loved him, but he changed so much over the last few months as he started using more and more steroids."

"Wait, you
loved
him? I thought you were being raped!"

"I was, Ally. But there was a time when he loved me. At least I thought he did." She started to cry quietly. "I know now that he was just using me. I was just an easy lay for him. God, I'm pathetic."

"How did this happen, Veronica?" I just couldn't see how all the pieces fit together.

She sighed and wiped her eyes, being very tender around her injured eye. "I had heard about the steroids from some of the girls on the squad. Their boyfriends had really bulked up over the summer and were suddenly playing so much better. Danny wanted me to find out how they were doing it. Long story short: I found myself in Coach Trevino's office trying to get him to let my boyfriend into his special inner circle. He did, but not without coming on to me. I bought it all, thinking that I was special, that what we had was special. I really thought we were in love. I let him convince me to have sex with him. You'll probably be shocked to know that I was a virgin until him. Then I got pregnant and he got angry. I was scared and tried to call it off, but he went crazy. That's the first time he raped me. I didn't understand that it was rape, because I had said yes in the past. I was so stupid. I just let him hit me and use me. I thought I deserved it. To be honest, I'm still having some issues with that last one. I start therapy as soon as I get out of here." She paused and reached for her styrofoam water cup, but was having trouble reaching it. I got it for her and helped her take a sip from the straw.

"I'm so sorry, Veronica. Nobody should have to go through this."

She continued,  "But I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of the baby. And every time he texted me, I would go to him. And every time, he got more and more angry."

"What was he so angry about?" I still didn't totally understand; this was so far beyond my experience.

"Everything. Nothing. Sometimes he was mad because I was pregnant; sometimes he was ecstatic, talking about how we would get married and raise the baby together. I never knew which Nick I would be getting: the nice Nick or the crazy one. Lately it was mostly the crazy one."

"His name was Nick? I thought his first name was Jonathan?" When Tara and I had checked out all the teacher's first names, the only Nicholas that had shown up was Nicholas Chiszowski.

"It's his middle name. That's what he wanted me to call him so it would be more secret." I had never even considered that Nick might be a middle name. Suddenly, the impossibility of what I had been trying to do was apparent.

Veronica dissolved into tears at this point. I looked around and found some tissue for her and then just sat beside her, patting her hand uselessly, until she fell asleep.

I had the answers I had been wanting, but I was more confused than ever.

****

I didn't go back to school before I left; I just rested and packed on Friday afternoon. Tara came over after school and Jack came when he got off of work. Mom brought home a Chinese take-out extravaganza for dinner and we celebrated my last night before my trip. After dinner, I sat them down in the living room and told them exactly what had happened, leaving nothing out, including what I had heard from Veronica that afternoon. Mom and Grams had tears running down their faces by the time I was finished with my story. Tara just looked pissed. Jack's jaw just kept getting tighter and tighter; at the end of my accounting, he muttered a very bad word, kissed me hard, and wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly.

"This whole Seer-thing is complete bullshit! Can you tell that Council that they can have their damned gift back?"

Tara, mom, and Grams were trying not to laugh
. I just pulled back to look at him and said, "I don't think that's how it works, but I will try. Jack, Veronica told me more about the whole steroid scandal at school. I had no idea it was so big! They kicked all those players off the teams? You kind of down played that part, you know?"

"Ally, querida, I just wanted you to get a little stronger before you had more to deal with. I really wasn't trying to keep anything from you."

"We all thought it would be better for you, Ally-bear," Mom apologized. "I'm sorry if we were wrong."

I moved out of Jack's arms and into
hers. "No, you weren't wrong, Mom. It was probably for the best. I'm just so confused right now. What's going to happen to Veronica? "

"I don't know, baby. I don't know."

In the long run Cassie was right; telling my mom, grandmother, Tara, and Jack the whole truth about what had happened actually made me feel better--not a lot, but at least I could deal. And stay awake for more than an hour at a time.

****

They all came to see me off at the airport on Saturday, even Megan. She hugged me as she handed me a small, beautifully wrapped Christmas present.

"It's from me and Jack. We wanted you to have a present to open on Christmas." I was touched and, predictably, started to get teary-eyed. You would think I wouldn't have any tears left by now, but I managed to find a few somewhere.

"Hey," said Jack as he took his turn to hug me. "None of that. You will be back in no time. But I will miss you like crazy. I love you, you know." He gave me the best kiss yet, soft and soulful.

“I know.”
I gave them all a last hug and followed Cassie through to security.

****

As I opened the present on Christmas morning, also my 17
th
birthday, in my hotel room in downtown Galway, I thought about how much I missed all of them. I opened the box to find a silver cheerleading charm to add to my bracelet. I turned it over and read the inscription:
Do what you love.
It was beautiful and perfect. I could hardly wait to talk to him on Skype later.

Tomorrow I would meet with the Seer Council and perhaps discover what this gift was about. I went to sleep that night both scared and excited to begin this next chapter in my life

The End...for now