The Solemn Bell (25 page)

Cynthia Cartwright bumped into them, already drunk. “What a crush!” she said, nearly burning a hole in Captain Neill’s dinner jacket with the hot end of her long cigarette. “So sorry about that. One can hardly move in here.”

“Have you seen my family?” he asked, shouting above the noise.

“Ballroom.”

He thanked her, and then started to walk away, but Cynthia stopped them. “Your frock is simply divine, Miss Grey,” she said, lips brushing Angelica’s ear as she wobbled. “Has Mary Rose seen it?”

Before she could answer, Captain Neill eased Angelica toward the door. He hadn’t been paying attention to the ladies’ conversation, and was, instead, intent on finding his family. She allowed him to guide her from crowded room to crowded room, elbowing between the guests milling about the hallways and corridors.

Eventually, he and Angelica reached the ballroom. The air was hot and heavy, even though the windows had been thrown open to the night air. People reeked of stale cigarettes, champagne, and sweat. Some stank of chemicals she couldn’t begin to understand—only that they reminded her of the way Captain Neill smelled on the night they first met. Others smelled of hair brilliantine, and floral-scented toilet water.

Angelica wondered who they all were, and where they had all come from. Was Mary Rose Neill so important that half the county turned up for her birthday?

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

“Brody!” Marcus called across the queue of guests for the receiving line.

“Ah. This way, Angelica.” Captain Neill held her hand as he cut their way through the crowd.

When they reached him, Marcus bent down to kiss her hand. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a frock that blue. It certainly compliments your eyes.”

Everyone always seemed to make a fuss about her eyes. The wasted things were no longer an embarrassment to her—she was learning to be proud of them. “Thank you. That’s very kind.”

“Are you having a nice time?”

She smiled. “Oh, yes. I’ve never been to a party before. It’s all quite thrilling, don’t you think?”

“I don’t really care for these things, myself,” he explained. “Brody has always been the sociable one.”

Angelica laughed. “I’m starting to realize that. I think it took us half an hour to cross the house. Everyone wanted to chat with him.”

Captain Neill butted in, “Everyone wanted to chat with
you
.”

“Who could blame them?” Marcus agreed, making Angelica blush.

“There has to be a hundred unmarried ladies here tonight, Markie. Kindly stop flirting with mine, and find one of your own.” Captain Neill was joking, of course. Everything was a competition between them, though always in good fun.

“Someday, I hope to,” his brother said, growing serious. “But I doubt I’ll find the girl of my dreams in this crowd.”

Angelica pictured the scores of sweating, staggering, self-absorbed women, and hoped he was right. A kind man like Marcus Neill could do far better.
 

As she stood conversing happily with the Neill brothers, she began to catch snippets of gossip just over her shoulder.

“…What a pity to waste such a good-looking man on a girl who can’t even tell the difference…”

“Give it six months,” a second voice said. “He’ll grow bored once he realizes he’s more of a daddy to her than a lover.”

The third voice, Angelica recognized. “We have to help her do everything. I gave up one of my maids just so she’d have someone to walk her to and from the toilet. Mother and Father are simply horrified. But, you know Brody—he’ll do anything for a shock.”

Angelica turned her head in the girls’ direction. She wanted them to know she could hear every word. But, since she was Captain Neill’s guest, and because it was Mary Rose’s birthday, she daren’t make a scene. Later, she would tell his sister she didn’t appreciate her talking—literally—behind her back.

The girls giggled and scattered, leaving only Mary Rose.
 

Captain Neill’s sister grabbed Angelica’s arm, and hauled her around to face her. Angelica recoiled from the stench of strong drink on the young woman’s breath. “You’re not welcome here.”

“I’m Brody’s guest…”

Mary Rose’s nails dug into her wrist. “It’s not his party.”

She tugged her arm away. “If you had a problem with me, you should have said something before.”

“I did! No one would listen. But, when Peter told me what you’d done—”

Captain Neill stepped in, whispering, “M.R., don’t do this. We’ve a house full of people.”

“For once, you seem awfully concerned with what other people think!” The girl turned on her own brother. “Not once did you consider how
I
felt about you bringing a blind girl to my party. She’s frightening away my guests!”

Even Marcus joined in, trying to avert an argument. “Don’t be cruel, Mary Rose.”

“Cruel? What’s cruel was having to listen to my potential future husband go on and on about
her!
”

Angelica’s face burned. She’d ruined everything. The Neill family would never accept her now. “I never encouraged him.”

“No, you didn’t have to, did you? You’re so beautiful that every man in the room falls to his knees for you.” The young woman laughed, maniacally. “You can’t help it. You’re just poor, blind, pitiful Angelica Grey. Look at that frock!” She grabbed at it, catching a piece of delicate net. Black beads peppered the floor. “Brody bought it for you on my account. First, you seduce my beau. Now, you are wearing
my
dress!”

Mary Rose Neill was out of her mind with drunken, misplaced jealousy. Angelica hadn’t seduced anybody, and if the girl objected to their shopping at Grocott’s on her account, she ought to take that up with Captain Neill.
 

Angelica wanted desperately to explain that it had been Peter who cornered her. Peter who’d assaulted her. But she could not find the words to voice what she never wanted to relive again. Instead, she stood in dumb, mute horror.

“If you ever lay another finger on my Peter,” Mary Rose continued, “I’ll rip your worthless eyes out of your head!”

 
Captain Neill scoffed. “Angelica doesn’t give a shit about
your Peter
. Where is he, by the way? Nowhere to be found. Probably off fucking one of your friends!”

At that, the girl shook, sputtered, and then stumbled forward, right into Angelica’s arms. Rather than drop the girl at her feet, Angelica held her as Mary Rose slurred a stream of vicious curses.

Thankfully, Marcus scooped his sister up. “I’ll get her sober. Brody, you take Angelica upstairs.” Before he disappeared into the crowd, he added, “I am sorry, Miss Grey. She won’t remember any of this in the morning.”

What sort of apology was that? Their sister had ruined her dress. Their sister had humiliated her in front of hundreds of strangers. No wonder Captain Neill turned to morphine—his family was enough to drive one mad!

“Come on,” he said, stroking her elbow. “We’ll take the servants’ way.”

Angelica was tempted to jerk from his touch. Did he too intend to sweep the entire wretched scene under the rug? “What about Peter? He’s telling people that he and I… Oh, God, that we… And now your sister… Aren’t you going to do something?”
 

“The best we can do for now is disappear,” Captain Neill said. “Between M.R. and me, Markie is used to this sort of thing. He’ll handle it.”

She shook her head. “But…my frock.”

“Done for, I’m afraid. And, unless you want everyone to see it, we’d better get you out of here.”

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

Angelica cried all the way upstairs. She’d never been in such a situation before, and did not know how to handle it. She felt embarrassed, sad, and angry all at once. She wept for Mary Rose, who was surely troubled, and for Marcus, who somehow held the family together while the parents couldn’t be bothered to care.

Captain Neill brought her to her room, and closed the door behind them. He stood there for a moment without saying a word. He let her get it all out of her system. Then, he asked, “Shall I ring for Bessie?”

“No. I don’t want her.”

“What do you want, then?”

She sniffled. “An apology.”

“From Mary Rose? Because, you won’t get—”

“No. From you.”

He stepped forward, touching her. “Why me? What have I done?”

“You brought me here, to this place where no one is kind. Where everyone hates me, and are always trying to trip me up. No one here is good, Brody. These people are all rotten.”

“I know,” he said, sadly. “Sometimes I think you’re the only good thing left in this world.”

She turned to him. “Then can we leave?”

“Angelica…”
 

Now, she understood—he intended them to stay here with his family. That’s why he’d brought her to his home, because they didn’t have money to go anywhere else. Oh, God. How long did he expect her to go on living like this?

Captain Neill held her against him. “Mary Rose didn’t know what she was doing. She didn’t mean any of it. You simply don’t have enough experience with drugs and drink to understand.”

“I understand I don’t have to be treated like that! Does your family hold no one accountable for their actions? Is this how you were raised? Because, if so, it answers so many questions…”

“Yes, Angelica. This is how I was raised. My parents hate each other. Father barely sleeps here, and keeps a mistress somewhere else. Mother has a slew of lovers, though that revolving door has slowed a bit. Quite possibly, Mary Rose isn’t even my father’s child, but we all choose to ignore the fact. Markie’s silently miserable, and has been for years. As for me, well, I’m the family disappointment—yet some days I think I’m the only sane one!”

“Then I feel sorry for you.”

He scoffed. “Why, because my family is a disaster?”

“Because your family is a disaster, and
still
you crave their approval. We all want to be loved and accepted—and forgiven for our mistakes—but, often, that moment never comes.”

“You think I ought to give up on them?”

She shook her head. “Pick your battles wisely, Brody. You’ve been fighting too long.”

“Perhaps you’re right. But I don’t want to think about them just now. You were wonderful tonight, Angelica. No one would have ever believed it was your first party.”

“I was so nervous…”

“In fact, I think that was the real reason Mary Rose lashed out—you showed her up at her own birthday.”

Surely that couldn’t have been it. Angelica was a nobody, and Mary Rose Neill had the world at her feet. “She needn’t worry. I doubt I’ll attend another one of her parties.”

“No, indeed,” he said, laughing. “You’ll throw your own.”

What a preposterous idea. Who would ever come to a party of hers? “You might as well help me out of this dress. I think I’m dropping beads by the minute.”

Captain Neill moved to unfasten the hooks and eyes holding her together. She had loved the frock, and he had loved seeing her in it. The silk underneath might be salvageable, but the elaborate, jet-beaded net was destroyed. It was, perhaps, a sad metaphor for her life—beautiful, yet ruined.

Angelica was feeling sorry for herself. It was only a stupid frock. Granted, it was her favorite stupid frock, but there would be others. Just as there would be other nights, and other parties. Thankfully, she would always have Captain Neill by her side.

He stripped her out of the dress, and tossed it aside. Beads clattered as it landed on a nearby chair. She eased off her shoes, and then began to remove her stockings.
 

Captain Neill stopped her. “Let me.”

He went down on his knees. Angelica held onto the edge of the bed as he slowly, deliberately rolled each silk stocking down her leg. Her heart danced as his fingers brushed the backs of her knees, the turn of her ankles. When he finished, he pressed his lips to the bared skin just below her lace combinations.

She wanted him to go further. To kiss higher. He stopped when he reached the purpled bruise on her inner thigh.

“You should have let me kill Peter when I had the chance,” he said, softly.

“He’s your friend.”

“I have no friends. Only you.”

Lonely man. Her heart broke for him. “You’ll make new friends. Better friends.”

“Ones who know nothing about my past…”

She ran her fingernails lovingly through his thick hair. “Or mine. We’ll make a fresh start.”

“Would that we could.” He rose up from his knees to face her. She felt his warm breath on her lips. There was something in his voice—a hitch, perhaps. He knew something she didn’t, yet could not find the courage to tell her.
 

He began to undress, instead.
 

This, she understood. Lovemaking. Copulation. When the rest of their life was at sea, they could always come together sexually. He was her ballast, and she, his safe harbor. To Angelica, at least, these were familiar waters. A welcome distraction.
 

She peeled out of her underthings. Captain Neill had never seen her unclothed. She wondered what he thought of her naked body. Did it please him? Excite him? Angelica had no real idea what anybody else looked like, but her other lover had found her attractive, so she must look all right.
 

She stood awkwardly by the bed. Couldn’t he say something?

He came to her then, snaking his arms around her waist. He too was naked. She felt his heated skin collide with hers. “God, Angelica…”
 

Their lips met. Her heart thundered, and her mouth opened for him. She touched her tongue to his, sending sparks down her spine. When his hand cupped her breast, Angelica nearly crumbled. No man’s touch had ever knocked her to her knees before. She gripped his arms to keep from falling. In answer, Captain Neill picked her up and lay her back against the bed. Her head touched the pillow. She felt the mattress dip.

He was beside her, touching her, kissing her. He nipped her neck, and suckled her earlobe until her back arched.

She gasped, and bit her lip to silence herself. It was too much. Yet not enough. She wanted him inside her. She couldn’t wait. Angelica spread her legs. She begged for him to touch her there. If he wouldn’t, she would do it herself.