The Solemn Bell (24 page)

He lay back, smiling. He’d rejected the morphine, and she had rejected lovemaking. For the night, at least, they’d both conquered their greatest weakness. Brody was really quite proud. “Thank you, Angelica. You’ve saved my life yet again.”

“You saved your own life, but I was happy to help.” She nestled herself into his arms.
 

Brody stroked her hair, and kissed her. “Still no sex, though?”

Angelica laughed against his lips. “Not a chance.”

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

Today was the day of Mary Rose’s party. Just as Angelica had settled into a new routine, suddenly, everything was turned on its head. Additional servants were hired for the occasion. Furniture was moved, and valuables put into storage for the night. Caterers came, bringing chafing dishes, champagne fountains, and crates of additional stemware. Soon, musicians would arrive, adding their practice sessions to the chaos.

Nothing was where it should be. She couldn’t take a step without bumping into someone or some thing. If anyone shouted a warning to her, Angelica doubted she would hear them over the clamor. In the end, she sat on the stairs, too intimidated to risk running the gauntlet down to luncheon.

It didn’t help that the Neill family—save Marcus, of course—treated her like a nuisance. Their mother wouldn’t speak to her, and their father seemed to grunt every time Angelica entered a room. Peter Lawton wisely kept a wide berth, while Cynthia and Mary Rose were too excited for the party to concern themselves with anything so trivial.

Captain Neill brought her a sandwich, and they ate together on the stairs.

“I want you to know that last night was a rare moment of weakness,” he said. “I’m not at risk of relapsing.”

She took a bite, and chewed slowly. “I believe you.”

“But you need to know that…it could happen someday. Just because I’m better, doesn’t mean I’m cured.”

“I understand, Brody. When that time comes, I want you to be honest with me. If you’re struggling, tell me, so we can work through it together. Remember what I promised you that night we thought the Devil was after us—you never again have to face your demons alone.”

He must have smiled. “Bless you, Angelica. You truly are an angel.”

“Tell me, how go the preparations for your sister’s party?” She needed to lighten the mood. The less he thought about his addiction, the better. Perhaps if she could keep his mind on happier things, he wouldn’t worry about it so much.

“Mother is in a fine frenzy. She’s directing everything—flowers here, extra chairs there. Mary Rose has locked herself in her room. I think Cynthia is off walking the dog with Peter, after Mother banished them from the drawing room. Markie is…well, I don’t exactly know where. He disappeared some time after breakfast.”

“And your father?”

“No idea. The old man certainly doesn’t tell
me
what he’s up to.”

She took another bite of her watercress sandwich. “Has your relationship always been difficult?”

A pause. “Yes, but it’s grown worse since the war. Since the hospitals, and the morphine.”

“I am sorry, Brody. He’s too blinded by your faults to see your better qualities.”

Captain Neill sighed. “I can’t say he hasn’t been generous…that must count for something, surely. He had to have loved me once, but I’m afraid I burned that bridge years ago.”

“He’ll come ‘round—fathers always do.”

“I’m sure your parents were very kind and loving. Sometimes, it sounds like you had the perfect childhood.”

Angelica thought about that for a moment. She’d always assumed that, growing up, everyone’s life was as happy as her own. Now, she realized she had indeed been blessed. “We had our share of problems, but I never doubted my parents’ love.”

“Not even when your mother left you?”

She turned to him. “Mother did not leave me. She went to get help after Father’s death. There was no word from Freddie. We didn’t know what to do or where to turn. She needed to travel northward, and it was easier if I stayed behind.”

“Yet you never heard another word from her?”

“No.”

His hand touched hers. “And that’s never troubled you? You’ve never suspected—”

“Don’t project your own family’s selfish tendencies on mine. What troubles me is the thought that Mother died somewhere far away from anyone who knew her or loved her. That in her last moments, she likely feared more for my well-being than her own. I wish I could go back and tell her somehow that she need not worry about me. I am in good hands.”

“You are, indeed.”
 

She finished the rest of her sandwich. “Why are you so interested in my family all of a sudden?”

“Oh, simply curious about the people who raised the woman I love.”

What a pity he’d never get to meet them. “They’d have liked you.”

“No, they wouldn’t.”

Angelica frowned. “Why do you say that?”

“Because I am not good enough for you. They’d see right away that I’ve nothing to offer a woman like you.”

“You love me. In the end, that’s all that matters. Everything else is merely a bump in the road.”

He laughed at her. “Ten years from now, I’ll hold you to those words.”

Although his tone was joking, she knew he was serious. Captain Neill had a habit of laughing at the truth—perhaps to shield himself from things too weighty to comfortably admit. In his own way, he’d confirmed that they had a future. That, a decade from now, they’d still be together. Angelica was very much looking forward to it.

“Well, my girl,” he said, blithely, as if he had not just promised her the rest of his life. “What shall we do with our afternoon? A drive in the car, a stroll in the gardens, or…”

“I was thinking I ought to have a gift for your sister.”

“Uh…no. That’s not necessary.”

“Brody, it’s her birthday. I know I don’t know her very well, and she probably doesn’t even like me, but it would feel rude not to give
something
when I’ve been here all week.”

“She’ll be very busy. Doubt she’ll notice—or even care.”

Despite the potential for disaster, Angelica was very much looking forward to her first party. She’d never put on an evening gown and danced in a ballroom. She’d never met a hundred new people in a night, or been escorted by a handsome gentleman. She wanted so badly to fit in to the Neills’ world. Thanking Mary Rose for being so patient while she infiltrated the girl’s special night seemed like the best place to start.

“What did you get her?”

Captain Neill sighed, annoyed that she wasn’t giving up that easily. “A carved ivory hair comb from a jewelry shop in London.”

“Oh, I bet it’s lovely.”

“I got it at a bargain. Otherwise, she’d be getting flowers and a card.”

Angelica laughed. “She’s your baby sister. She deserves to be spoiled—well, at least for one night. Isn’t there something I can give her?”

“To be honest, we need to save every bit of money I have. Things are going to be…tight…for a little while.”

She’d taken advantage of his generosity. He’d bought her new clothes, even a fur-trimmed coat, and paid for a hotel room when they should have been living frugally. Her heart sank to the pit of her stomach. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“It wasn’t important—it’s still not. But we can’t afford to waste money on another present my sister will never use,” he explained. “If it really means that much to you, we’ll tell her the hair comb is from us both.”

Mary Rose knew that Angelica had never been to London. She’d know that Captain Neill had bought the gift, and simply put Angelica’s name on it out of kindness. It wasn’t proper, but there was nothing to be done about it now. “Alright, Brody. If you think that’s best.”

“I know you want M.R. to like you—”

“Broderick! Good Lord! What are you doing there?” His mother rushed through the hall, her heels clicking against the polished marble.

Angelica sat up straight, embarrassed to be caught hiding out.

“Really, the two of you will make the servants go lazy. If you cannot find something useful to do with yourselves, at least stay out of my way,” Mrs. Neill said, storming past them up the stairs. “I have to see your sister in her bath, or else that child will never be ready. I haven’t time to worry about you, too.”

With a rustle of silk, the woman was gone, leaving only a lingering scent of expensive, overpowering perfume.

“Mother is in her element,” Captain Neill said. “She lives for this sort of thing.”

Angelica smiled, good-naturedly. “It’s been a while since I’ve had a scolding like that. Almost reminds me of home.”

They both laughed. It didn’t matter that his mother ignored her, or that his sister didn’t like her. Tonight was going to be Angelica Grey’s first party.
 

The first of many, she hoped.

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

She flapped her hands at her side. Bessie did her best to keep her still, but Angelica couldn’t stop fidgeting. She always did that when she was nervous—in the old days, it would’ve earned her a smack on the hand from her governess. Her new handler was not so forceful.

“Please keep still, Miss,” the maid said. “I’ve got to pin this dress just right, and I don’t want to prick you.”

Angelica was starting to perspire. The layers of silk and heavy, beaded net hung against her skin, which was still flushed from her bath. She and Bessie had rushed from the tub to insure she did not run into Mr. Lawton again. Now, she was nervous
and
overheated.

She had allowed the maid to kohl her eyelashes, and rub some rouge on her lips and cheeks to ‘give her some color’. Angelica did not understand why—sighted people were strange sometimes—but deferred to Bessie’s expertise. The girl had assured her she’d seen Miss Mary Rose apply cosmetics hundreds of times.

So, she’d allowed herself to be pinned, polished, and painted in the name of beauty, all because she wanted to look nice for Captain Neill. If he thought she’d look pretty with black eyes and red lips, then what was the harm?

She hadn’t even noticed she’d been flapping her hands again until Bessie forced them down to her side. “Sorry.”

“No reason to be nervous, Miss. You look lovely.”

Angelica smoothed her hands across the tangles of beads running wild all over her gown. They were black—jet, specifically. At Grocott’s, when Magda had selected evening frocks, that had been Angelica’s one criterion. She could picture herself wearing black. She
felt
like herself wearing black. Never mind that the silk beneath was of the brightest aquamarine.

There was a knock at the door, and then Captain Neill let himself in. They’d all three grown accustomed to him coming and going from her room. Bessie wasn’t shocked, and Angelica no longer felt shy when he planted a lingering kiss on her lips.
 

“My God, what a frock!” he said, laughing.

Bessie kept it stored in tissue paper, and Angelica doubted anyone had seen it since the moment it had been boxed up and delivered to their hotel room. She was excited to debut it tonight. Mary Rose would finally see how stylish she was, and want to be her friend. Perhaps even Mr. and Mrs. Neill would be impressed by the transformation.

Angelica willed her hands to stay down. Captain Neill couldn’t catch her flapping. “Is it very chic?”

“You put the lights of London to shame. I ought to go down in uniform, since I’ll be fighting chaps off you.”

She and Bessie laughed at his joke.
 

“But do you like it?” she asked, growing serious.

“I certainly didn’t think they made a shade of silk that could match your eyes…”
 

Angelica smiled. “You like my eyes.”

“I love them. And I love your frock.”

She could hear the first strains of music drifting up through the floorboards. Earlier, Captain Neill had promised to dance every waltz with her. Angelica looked forward to learning more steps, so that, eventually, they could share more dances. The sooner they went downstairs, the sooner their night together could begin.

“Well, Bessie,” he said. “Are you ready to turn her loose?”

The maid rushed a few last-minute adjustments before proclaiming her charge finished.

“Give us a moment alone, then.” His husky voice made Angelica’s heart flutter.

When they were finally alone, he swept her in his arms and kissed her passionately. Both their hearts were fluttering by the time he eased her back down to the land of jazz bands, evening gowns, and stiff, starched shirtfronts.

“I want you to know,” he said, still breathless, “that I’ve never been more proud to have a woman by my side. Thank you for letting me be your escort.”

She laughed. What an odd thing for him to say. Truly, she was the lucky one.

“People tell you all the time how beautiful you are, and I know you’ll hear it a hundred more times before this party is over, but I hope that tonight you
feel
beautiful, Angelica.”

“Thank you, Brody. I think I needed to hear that.”

He took her gloved hand in his. “Shall we go down?”

Together, they left her bedroom, crossed the corridor, and descended the marble steps that curved down to the busy ground floor. All the public rooms were thrown open—the library, drawing room, ballroom, and the dining room, where guests helped themselves to a buffet supper and an endless supply of champagne. Angelica smelled roast beef, salmon, potatoes, ham, cheeses, and more desserts than could possibly be eaten in one night. There would be leftovers for weeks.

As they walked from room to room, people stopped them to greet Captain Neill. He was always courteous and polite, and eager to introduce her to his acquaintances. Their reaction was mixed—some folk simply didn’t know what to make of her—but he seemed genuinely happy to show her off. It felt as if he wanted the entire party to know she was his girl.

The more she talked, the easier conversation became. When she was quiet and shy, people retreated from her. Yet, when she smiled brightly and laughed loudly, they seemed to open up, as well. Soon, Angelica had guests approaching her, desperate for an introduction. She hadn’t even found time to sample any of the darling little cakes everyone raved about.