The Smuggler and the Society Bride (14 page)

She paused, smiling dreamily off into the distance. ‘Members of his family had long followed the sea, and though gentry, were far beneath the Foxes socially. But after just that one meeting, I knew he was the only man for me. He was equally enthralled, though because of the difference in our stations, for a short time he resisted the attraction.'

‘But you soon persuaded him otherwise?'

‘Naturally. My mother, informed of the attachment, for I made no attempt to hide it, was predictably horrified. With my
dowry, wit and beauty, she expected a great match for me—an earl, if not a duke. After ringing a peal over me and my poor chaperone, she forbade me ever to see Captain Phillip Manning again. Of course, I disobeyed her as soon as I could get a message to him to meet me the next day. On one of our secret rendezvous, looking ahead to our marriage, he bought me that book.'

Honoria tried to imagine Anthony presenting her with such a gift, and failed utterly. ‘Captain Manning truly was as unconventional as you!' she said with a laugh.

‘Oh, we were perfectly matched in every way! At first, Phillip had hopes of bringing Mama around, for he was after all a gentleman by birth and so not entirely ineligible. Papa, I think, might have given his consent, but Mama, declaring Phillip nothing more than a jumped-up fortune-hunter, for everyone knew naval officers sought to marry heiresses solely to advance their careers, would have none of him. Convinced it was hopeless and with Phillip's ship receiving sailing orders, since he'd declared his willingness to marry me even if I came to him penniless, we ran away, headed for Gretna Green.'

‘But you were discovered?'

Aunt Foxe nodded. ‘Mama's brother forced Phillip at pistol-point to give me up. I was sent to the country in disgrace and Phillip went to sea with his ship. Despite my ruined reputation, Mama still hoped, with the inducement of my large dowry, to bring some gentleman up to scratch, but by this time
I
would have none of it. Sent to the most remote family estate in Northumberland, I declared I would neither return to London nor marry anyone but Phillip. When she locked me in my room to try to subdue my spirit, I escaped out the window, broke into the estate agent's office and took some money, disguised myself as a boy and set off for Portsmouth, determined to engage lodgings and wait for Phillip's return. Or to book passage on a ship that would take me to him, if I could determine where that might be.'

‘And did you?' Honoria asked, enthralled.

Aunt Foxe shook her head. ‘Papa found me first and persuaded me to return to Northumberland, promising to prevail upon Mama to reconsider. My parents' marriage was not a happy one. Papa, who'd always had a fondness for me, did not wish to have me sold into the same sort of arranged, loveless union that family duty had forced upon him, regardless of the shrewish behaviour he would endure from my mother for opposing her.'

Her smile faded. ‘But his powers of persuasion were never put to the test. Phillip's ship went down with all hands in a storm…' she pointed out the window toward the wind-tossed sea ‘…somewhere out there, rounding the coast of Ireland. When I recovered enough from my devastation to think, I begged Papa to bring me to Land's End, so I might go as near as I could get to the last place Phillip had been alive on this earth. We spent several weeks at the inn in Sennlack. Somehow, being here by the sea was comforting, and while I struggled with my grief, I fell in love with the sea, the cliffs, the coast. Convinced I would never marry, I determined to settle here.'

‘And your Papa permitted it?'

‘Not at once. Mama, of course, was appalled, but Papa remained adamant that if, after a year, I was still as set as ever upon that course, he would grant my wish. So a year later, he settled half my dowry on me, giving me complete control of it with no trustees to interfere. I built this house, and except for a few visits elsewhere, have lived here ever since.'

‘And you never met anyone else you wished to marry?'

‘No one for whom I was willing to give up the independence Papa had so kindly granted me.' She smiled. ‘Until I settled here and assumed the direction of my own life, I never fully realized how restricted I'd been by the conventions Society places upon girls of good family. Another characteristic I believe we share?'

Honoria thought of the times beyond number she'd wished
to have the freedom, the opportunities, the challenges permitted Hal. ‘Indeed!'

‘However, though I set my face against marriage, I still experienced the urges of the body, for which that handy book, and a few others like it discovered later, served as useful guides. Just because I didn't wish to marry, doesn't mean I wanted to permanently deny myself all the pleasures of the flesh.'

‘You mean that you…Aunt Foxe!' Honoria gasped.

‘Come now, why so shocked?' her aunt reproved. ‘Do you think your elder brother came to his marriage bed untouched? Why should women be censured for indulging desires Society gives men the freedom to savour? Desires that, if I'm not mistaken, you've experienced yourself, or you'd not have found Mr Aristotle's tome quite so fascinating. Am I right?'

There seemed little reason to deny the truth. ‘Yes.'

‘I also suspect those desires have been inspired by a certain dashing young captain. Who, I believe, is equally enthralled by you. I trust you had a very fine walk on the cliffs with Captain Hawksworth and the child?'

Honoria blinked. ‘You knew about that already?'

‘Tamsyn is the daughter of the innkeeper at whose establishment the captain resides. She takes a very personal interest in keeping track of him.'

Honoria groaned. ‘I hope that won't cause problems among the staff.'

‘Oh, I expect not. She's always seen the captain as a dashing hero far beyond her touch. And she likes and admires you. The question is, what do you intend to do about this…partiality?'

Honoria shook her head. ‘I don't know.' The new, insistent little voice that whispered of a future prompted her to add, ‘Do you know anything of Captain Hawksworth's family?'

‘Not a thing. He's gentry-born, I suspect, but not of a degree comparable to the Carlows.'

Honoria sighed. ‘So I suspect as well. Even worse, he's a
free-trader! It's a connection that would horrify Papa, Mama, Marcus—probably even Hal.'

Aunt Foxe shrugged. ‘Family connections can be highly overrated if they separate you from the one man you will ever truly love. Is Captain Hawksworth that one for you?'

‘I don't know!' Honoria said, all the insecurity and indecision and longing and confusion she'd been trying to suppress bursting free. ‘I admire and respect him. He possesses a sense of honour and uprightness I would have never had suspected in one who is basically an outlaw.'

‘Ah, but not an outlaw in the eyes of a Cornishman,' Aunt Foxe reminded her.

‘So he keeps telling me,' Honoria replied ruefully. ‘Beyond his character, I feel an…extraordinary attraction. A fascination, admiration—and, I admit, lust. He touches me, pulls me to him more intensely, more completely, than any man I've ever met. He…he might well be the one,' she said, admitting that possibility to herself for the first time. ‘But though I know he finds me attractive and enjoys bandying wits with me, I have no firm indication that he intends more than flirtation.'

‘So what are you going to do about him—and your future?'

Honoria shrugged her shoulders helplessly. ‘I know what I don't want…but I haven't yet figured out what I
do
want, or if it would even be possible to attain it. I know I don't intend to return to London. Nor, like you, do I wish to marry an amenable someone found by Marcus or Mama who graciously deigns to accept to wife a girl of tarnished honour but large dowry.'

‘I understand Narborough is too ill to take much of a hand in things, but your brother Marcus always struck me as a fair-minded lad. I don't think he'd force you into something you didn't want, no more than my father did me. By the way, I've just received a letter from Marcus addressed to you, if you'd like to read it.'

Honoria wasn't sure whether she was ready to read some
thing Marcus had written or not. ‘So he tracked me down. I didn't think it would take him long.'

‘Oh, I expect your coachman told him straightaway where you'd gone as soon as he returned to London.'

A more dismaying thought occurred. ‘You accepted a letter—for me? So do the servants and the postmen now know—'

‘Heavens, child,' Aunt Foxe interrupted her agitation, ‘do you think me a dimwit? When Mrs Dawes brought me the letter, she ventured to observe that perhaps Lady Honoria would be coming to join Miss Foxe. I agreed that was very likely, and would inform her of when the visit was to occur. So your secret is still safe.'

Honoria sighed in relief. ‘Thank you, Aunt Foxe. I shall never be able to thank you enough for your kindness, first in taking me in, then in allowing me to perpetrate such an outrageous lie.'

‘We sheep of similarly dark hues must flock together. But while you decide what you do wish to do for the future, be careful. The desires discussed in that book—' she angled her head toward the volume still lying on the table ‘—are very strong. And that book, by the way, was written to instruct midwives and young married couples on the best way to insure conception. Not, perhaps, the best reference for what you have in mind.'

Honoria sighed. ‘I'm trying to resist having in mind what I have in mind. But I must confess, the prospect of having no reputation left to lose makes resisting temptation much more difficult.'

‘If you are interested, I possess other volumes that discuss ways to avoid conception. However, it would be best for you to first decide what your—and perhaps Captain Hawksworth's—intentions are. Although I would certainly assist you in every way possible, you would not wish to harm an innocent child, especially a child of your own body you could never keep. So don't be foolish.'

She rose and walked to the window, her gaze once again on the distant sea. ‘On the other hand, as I can attest, love is a rare gift. The young believe they have all the time in the world. They don't.'

She turned back to face Honoria. ‘Though I caution against proceeding recklessly, I would also advise you not to miss the opportunity to experience something precious, something that for some of us comes only once in a lifetime.'

Honoria sat silently, mulling over her aunt's words. ‘If you were to do it all over again…would you do the same?'

‘Do I regret loving Phillip?
Never.
Would I have run away with him again?
Without question.
Should I have opened myself up more to the possibility of finding another love? On that point, I admit, I'm not quite so sure. I have sometimes been lonely.'

She walked back over to take Honoria's hands. ‘But I know I am much happier than I would have been had I allowed myself to be coerced into marrying a man I did not love. My father, to my infinite gratitude, made sure that would never happen to me. And if Marcus declines to do the same for you, I promise I will.'

Feeling the burn of tears in her eyes, Honoria jumped up and hugged her aunt. ‘Thank you,' she whispered.

‘You are welcome, my dear,' her aunt replied, releasing her, her own eyes suspiciously moist. ‘Your presence here has been an unexpected gift to me, too, you know. Imagine discovering after all these years there is someone in the family whose company I truly enjoy! Please know that, if you choose to, you are welcome to stay here at Foxeden permanently.

‘Now,' she said, turning toward the door, ‘I believe Dawes has been holding our dinner, which we ought to go eat before the roast dries out. And should you decide you wish to consult those…other references, let me know and I will point them out.' Giving Honoria's hand another pat, she walked from the room.

Though she was no closer to a decision about what to do
with her future, knowing she had her aunt's support—and affection—made the queasy knot of uncertainty that had sat in her gut for more than a month ease a bit. If nothing else, she could end her days as her aunt's companion, sharing that restless vista of sea, walking the cliffs, planting herbs—and maybe helping little girls like Eva.

Eva! In all the flurry after discovering the book and her aunt's revelations, she'd entirely forgotten to tell her aunt about Eva and her unexpected talent. She must do so after dinner, so she would know whether her aunt had paints or colours she might borrow to take to the school.

Would Captain Hawksworth come tomorrow to see how Eva's drawing progressed? Her whole being thrilled at the idea of seeing him again, discussing the plans for Eva's future.

As for her own, she might not know yet where the handsome captain fit in, but she did know with a deep certainty that her future could not be settled without resolving her attraction to him. Which left her with both disturbing—and arousing—possibilities.

Friendship? Stolen kisses? A scandalous affair?

Marriage?

She cast another glance at the volume Aunt Foxe had placed back on the table. As mesmerizing and titillating as the information contained within its pages, she had no need of the graphic text in
Aristotle's Masterpiece
to warn her about the power of the urges it described.

Just a short time alone with Captain Hawksworth had been enough for her to discover their potent, mind-dazzling force.

She would have to be very sure she could cope with the results if she permitted herself to allow those appetites free rein. And since Captain Hawksworth had proven himself capable of igniting her desire to a pitch of urgency she was not at all sure she could control, until she had decided how she meant to proceed, she'd better make sure she saw him only in company.

No matter how much her spirits and her senses yearned for him.