The Sheikh's Impatient Virgin (10 page)

‘Amira wakes in the night and the nurses struggle to settle her.’ Karim pulled a chair across to his daughter’s bedside and lowered himself into it. ‘Love for a child is something that tears your heart out.’ He slid a sideways glance towards Eva as he added softly, ‘When you have children of your own you will understand.’

Eva blinked at the comment. ‘I hadn’t thought about children.’

His frown made her realise it might have been an idea to censor her response. ‘Well, think about it now, Princess, because I am duty-bound to provide an heir.’

Eva tensed as the word
duty
sent a chill through her body. She shivered; it sounded so clinical.

‘An heir?’ she echoed.

‘There has been impatience in some quarters. The news I am married will be greeted with a sigh of relief.’

‘You expect me to have your children?’ She looked at him in horror.

A nerve clenched along his jaw. ‘Whose children did you expect to have?’ he asked, seeing the handsome blond academic.

‘No one’s…that is, children are meant to be the result of love, not…’

‘Empty sex?’ he suggested, not quite sure why her reaction made him so angry, but totally sure she was in the wrong. ‘Are you looking for love, Eva?’

She flushed and bit her quivering lip. ‘No, I’m not.’

Liar, he thought, looking at her face and not wanting to stop. ‘Let it stay that way. I don’t want you falling for me,’ he warned. ‘I’m not into needy women.’

He could be very cruel. She wondered about the first wife
who had given him the daughter he clearly adored, presumably he had loved her. Maybe he still did?

She lowered her eyes and struggled to lower the emotional temperature.

It hardly boded well—married literally five minutes and they were already fighting. And she had no idea how or why—it had just sort of exploded like the sexual chemistry that had preceded it. ‘Like you said, this isn’t the right time for this conversation.’

Karim scowled. He knew that this was not the right time but all he could see was the horror on her face at the suggestion she have his children. ‘Contrary to your belief,
empty
sex produces children just as efficiently as true love, which is as well for us.

‘And don’t act as though it would be a hardship, because I just kissed you and you didn’t want me to stop. For some people empty sex is all there is and so far we’ve both been enjoying it with other people. The only change is we start enjoying it with each other.’

Eva went paper white. ‘I don’t want sex with you, empty or otherwise, and if I were you I’d invest in a good self-help book. They probably have an entire chapter on men who have to precede
sex
with
empty
!’

Karim gave a thin-lipped smile. ‘You want it so badly you can taste it…’ His voice trailed off as he looked at her and felt need flood through his body. He had never needed a woman before…
wanted
but not
needed.

It was suddenly very important to Karim to prove this had not changed, that what he was feeling now was a reaction to the weeks of stress and the sudden release of tension.

‘You want me so badly that you’ll beg me to take you.’ At what point in this exchange had the connection between his brain and vocal cords become severed? Or had he regressed to his teenage years? wondered a deeply embarrassed Karim.

The words brought a rosy flush of outrage to Eva’s cheeks,
but she was too mortified to register the thin strips of hot colour along his cheekbones. ‘Never!’ she choked.

‘You’ll—’

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t know.’ The nurse standing in the doorway gave an apologetic smile. ‘I can come back.’

Eva shook her head and forced a stiff smile. ‘No, it’s fine. I’m just going.’

The nurse glanced towards Karim and, in response to the almost imperceptible movement of his head, vanished in a swirl of efficient white.

Eva, who had watched the interplay, felt her temper spike. ‘Lovely!’ She flashed him a smile of fake sincerity and added grimly, ‘I can look forward to a life of total invisibility.’ She flashed the child in the bed a sideways look and struggled to contain her emotions as she began to back towards the door. Karim was right about one thing: this was not the place or time.

‘I spoke in the heat of the moment…’ Karim could hardly believe the childish taunt had come from his lips, but this woman somehow had the ability to goad him into rash actions and unconsidered words.

Eva stopped backing and stared, her breathing gradually slowing, as astonishment replaced anger. ‘Did you just apologise?’

He gave a non-committal shrug that Eva interpreted as assent. ‘So I don’t have to beg?’ Her eyes fell from his. It suddenly felt as if that was
exactly
what she was doing.

‘You…’ This time it was Karim’s eyelashes that swept downwards, concealing his expression from a frustrated Eva.

‘Well?’ she prompted.

‘You have been forced by circumstances to accept me as your husband, but it is clear you have not thought through the implications.’

Eva stared. ‘When would I have been doing this deep thinking—on the way up in the lift?’

‘Well, now I am giving you the time. You consider yourself sexually experienced…’

He raised a brow at the squeak that escaped her lips, but Eva shook her head and said in a choked whisper, ‘Go on, this is fascinating.’

‘If you come to my bed it will not be for one night or even two…there will be no other men.’

‘So you’re giving me the option of sleeping with you or taking lovers?’

‘No!’

The violent explosive negative made Eva take an involuntary step backwards and the sleeping child in the bed mumbled and tossed restlessly.

His guilty glance swivelling towards his daughter, Karim clenched his jaw.

He struggled to compose his thoughts into some semblance of logic and order. One thing an arranged marriage had going for it was it made for a peaceful life—sterile but peaceful. No strong emotions, no jealousies and no passion to distract a man who had a country and people who needed him.

So what had gone wrong?

Amira’s mother had taken lovers and he had not lost a moment’s sleep over her discreet infidelities, so why did the thought of Eva’s
hypothetical
lovers drive him close to losing control?

His angry eyes swept her upturned features. The impulse to tangle his fingers in her hair and draw her face to his was so strong that for the space of several seconds he could not breathe.

He did not need her. He
wanted
her.

The subtle differentiation made the torrent of emotions that had surfaced in him—emotions that he saw no reason to name—easier to file under ‘unusual but not important’.

‘There will be no lovers, and if you come to my bed you must accept that we will have children.’ He spoke with a calm he was struggling to claim.

He had survived his disastrous first marriage emotionally intact because his first bride had awoken nothing that approached the primal hunger that tied his stomach into a frustrated knot, but it was just sex and he could and would stay in control.

A man who gave anything more than his body to a woman was asking to be stabbed in the back.

‘So if I don’t want a baby…I can’t have you? No middle ground?’

His reply was about as uncompromising as his expression. ‘No. You have to accept this is not an affair. This is marriage. I need to provide my country with an heir—therefore once you come to my bed there must be no one else.’

‘You mean, when I get bored with sex with you I’ll have to close my eyes and pretend you’re…’ Eva’s comeback faltered when she failed miserably to think of any man who did not look like a pale imitation when compared to the man she found herself married to.

She expected her belated silly addition of, ‘Luke!’ to produce a scornful laugh, but it didn’t.

The lick of pure molten white outrage she glimpsed in his eyes before he pointedly turned his back on her made her realise that the only predictable thing about Karim was her ability to make him furious.

As she left the room his body language suggested he would not be following her any time soon.

H
ER
grandfather stayed three days and during that time Eva was literally never alone with Karim.

He spent his days at the hospital, returned in the evening and dined with her grandfather. She was there but she might as well have been invisible for all the notice the men took of her.

The marriage seemed to have appeased her grandfather and the initial tension between the two men had rapidly thawed.

The same could not be said of the tension between Karim and her, but then it wasn’t the same type of tension! Since that night in Amira’s hospital room Karim had not attempted to touch her…but it was the
almost
occasions that were driving her slowly out of her mind.

Such as when he
almost
brushed her fingers with his when he passed her something, she got light-headed just anticipating the next time.

Sometimes even thinking about him touching her sent electrical thrills of sensation through her hopelessly receptive body.

The thought of what would happen when he did touch her for real scared her witless. He had put the ball in her court when he had spelt out what coming into his bed meant…it really was a ‘burning the bridges’ moment.

There was no mistaking that there was chemistry, and Eva, while still finding it amazing Karim was attracted to her, found
it almost as amazing that she could want a man in this allconsuming way and not be in love with him.

The two had always been inextricably linked in her stubbornly romantic mind.

So
now
he wanted her, but Eva was under no illusion that this would last, and what about when his visits to her bed were made from a sense of duty? Her blood turned to ice at the thought of passion turning to something clinical and cold.

The whole thing seemed horribly inevitable.

It was on the last night of her grandfather’s visit that it was announced that it had been decided she journey back with him and stay at the Palace in Azharim until Amira was fit enough to travel home with Karim.

Eva, who had sat quietly through the meal and was rapidly tiring of her invisible status, allowed her gaze to travel from one man to the other and back again.

‘Decided by who exactly…? I didn’t decide anything.’

King Hassan looked genuinely bewildered by the spiky comment. ‘Surely you can have no objection to seeing your family…your cousins…?’

Eva forced herself to smile at her grandfather. ‘I would just like to be consulted.’

‘Consider yourself consulted,’ Karim said, sounding bored by the entire subject. Amira’s condition ought to be occupying his every waking moment, yet he was continually distracted by the hunger of his own body. Life would be simpler if the distraction was put out of temptations way for the moment at least.

And it wasn’t just that it was the irrational guilt he was experiencing—he knew he had not trapped her into this marriage, that she had been equally culpable—but when he saw the dejected set of her shoulders he felt as though the responsibility was his.

‘We are only thinking of you, Eva.’

That, Karim thought, keeping his eyes steadfastly on Eva’s grandfather, is the problem.

‘Karim has so much on his plate at the moment, with matters of state and Amira, he is worried that he will have no time to spend with you.’

Worried my foot, Eva thought, struggling to control her temper. He wants me out of his hair so that he can pick up with whatever bimbo he’s sleeping with without worrying about his wife walking in.

Recognising the stab of jealousy that spilled like poison through her body, Eva went stiff with shock. She responded with defensive aggression.

‘Surely Karim’s father can deal with
matters of state.
’

It had crossed Eva’s mind a couple of times recently to ask about Karim’s father, but on each occasion she had been distracted, and now that she paused to think about it it seemed strange that he had never entered the equation.

Her grandfather’s approval had been sought, but there had been no mention of what the King of Zuhaymi thought of his son’s marriage.

An awkward silence followed her question.

It was Karim who broke it. ‘My father no longer takes an active part in government.’ His lashes came downwards concealing his expression from her as he speared a piece of food onto his fork. Then, not lifting it, he moved it around his plate.

‘Why? He can’t be that old?’

‘Eva…’ King Hassan began in a warning tone.

Karim lifted his head and said, ‘No, she should know.’

‘It may have escaped your notice, but actually I’m here in this room.’

‘My father is not old, but he was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s several years ago.’

It was still difficult to speak of recalling the first signs; watching such a robust virile man lose a part of himself everyday had been agonising.

‘He does not appear in public any longer.’ It made him feel guilty to acknowledge it, but there were times when Karim almost felt envious for those who had lost loved ones. It was, he had learnt, harder to grieve for the loss when that person or at least the shell was still alive.

‘You mean, you locked him away when he became an embarrassment.’

When Karim met her accusing stare she saw, not the guilt she had anticipated in his face, but cold condemnation.

‘When he was still able, he made it clear that once he was unable to function fully he wanted to retire from the public view. He lives today at a cottage beside the sea with a team of nurses to provide round-the-clock nursing. I see him but not as often as I would like because my presence sometimes agitates him.’ The occasional flashes of lucidity when his father recognised him made the entire situation harder in many ways.

Eva could feel the heat of her grandfather’s disapproval. Not that it made her feel any more wretched than she already did—nothing could.

‘I’m sorry. That was a terrible thing to say to you and I’m very sorry about your father.’

Karim nodded his head and said, ‘Apology accepted.’ She wasn’t sure if he meant it or if he was just going through the motions, but she felt even more of an outsider than ever.

‘I’d like to go back to Azharim with you if the offer is still open.’

Her grandfather looked at her, concern in his eyes, and said, ‘Of course it is.’

‘Right,’ she said, pushing her chair away from the table. ‘I’ll just go and pack.’ She couldn’t wait to escape the room and Karim’s disapproval.

‘Someone can pack for you,’ her grandfather protested, throwing a look towards Karim.

Eva shook her head. ‘I like to feel as if I actually have a
purpose in life,’ she said, thinking,
Could I sound more self-pitying
?

She just made it to the door before the tears began.

The flight the next morning was an early one to fit in with her grandfather’s schedule. Knowing King Hassan’s dislike of tardiness, she was packed and ready and feeling mad with herself because she minded that Karim had made no attempt to say goodbye or even wish her a safe journey.

The Brownie points she had gained from being early were lost when, on the point of leaving, Eva realised she had left her toiletry bag upstairs.

Her grandfather clicked his tongue in irritation as she flew up the stairs two at a time.

Typically, given the urgency, she could see it nowhere; having ransacked her bedroom and bathroom she suddenly remembered the dressing room!

It was actually a small antechamber lined with mirrors that joined her suite of rooms to Karim’s. It had not seen a lot of use recently, but she had gone in trying to see the back of her hair as she had attempted a swept-up style she had copied from a magazine that morning.

It had not made her look elegant; it had made her look about five!

Had she carried the bag in there with her?

She ran through the bathroom and into the corridor. She was inside before she realised that she was not alone.

Karim was standing there wearing nothing but a very small towel looped around his middle.

‘I…I…’ Losing the fight not to look, her eyes slid down his body. Things deep inside her tightened; he really was beautiful. A deep throb of longing slid through her. ‘I left my…This…I’m late.’

He was looking at her in a way that made her heart race. He cleared his throat and ran a hand across his stubble-covered jaw.

Eva thought about the stubble grazing her skin and the tactile image was so strong she had to grab the radiator to steady herself.

‘Have a safe journey.’

The anticlimax was intense. ‘You too,’ she heard herself babble stupidly. Then she improved on her impersonation of a total fool by clutching her head and groaning.

‘Are you ill?’

His voice, rough with concern, was close by; she knew all she had to do was turn around and she could lay her head on his chest.

She fought off the mad impulse and shook her head. ‘No, just…’ Her eyes brushed his. ‘Totally…totally…Goodbye.’ Eyes on the ground, she brushed past him and grabbed the offending item and then, like a scared rabbit, she thought, wincing every time she mentally replayed the scene later, she scuttled away, her heart pounding like a piston.

It was actually good to meet up with her new and bewilderingly large family when she arrived in Azharim; fielding comments on her marriage was less enjoyable. It was a veritable minefield of potential embarrassment. Keeping up the pretence in front of her clearly curious relatives—who only stopped asking direct questions in deference to an edict by her grandfather—gave her a permanent headache.

After the first couple of days time began to drag heavily and, as crazy as it seemed, she missed Karim—if the combination of the achy feeling lodged behind her breastbone, feeling restless, distracted and unable to concentrate constituted missing?

You chose to come here,
she reminded herself.

And he didn’t try and stop you.

The necessary distraction came in the form of her neglected thesis. Instead of moping and soul-searching, Eva decided to put some serious work in on her almost-completed doctoral dissertation.

Never had she shown more enthusiasm for the boring detail of collating statistics, and, despite her initial scepticism on her ability to concentrate, the work did get done.

She was putting the finishing touches to her thesis, an occasion that only recently had been her total focus in life, when she received news that Karim and Amira had been allowed to fly home by the doctors.

The urgency to get the final draft printed and bound faded.

They hoped, so the message said, to see Eva very soon.

It was as impersonal as the rest of the communications she had received from Karim. While he had made contact regularly during the three weeks she had been here, there was nothing in the impersonal e-mails she had received that could not have been read by her grandfather.

But as she had asked herself—
What else do you expect, Eva
?

Her problem was she had lost the ability to separate expectations and fantasies.

He wasn’t likely to confide a yearning to hear her voice. Or indulge in a lot of gushing stuff about not being able to stop thinking about her.

They had not exactly parted on the best of terms and the man had a lot of things, more important things, on his mind.

But then maybe the things they needed to discuss were better spoken of face to face.

She tried to view the opportunity to do just that with hope rather than fear…and managed excitement and exhilaration that tipped over without warning into open gibbering panic.

As Eva arranged to leave on the next flight, she was on the excitement stomach-clenching stage, until, that was, a casual remark by one of her cousins revealed that Karim and his daughter had already been home a week.

Talk about being brought to earth with a bump!

Eva struggled to hide the sharp stab of hurt as the news
drained away every last trace of her buoyant mood. She was too depressed to manage even gibbering panic.

It must have shown in her face because good-natured Ruhi added, ‘I expect he wanted to give the little one time to settle in before producing a new stepmother…That’s always tricky.’

‘I expect you’re right.’
And thank you, Ruhi,
she thought,
for giving me something else to worry about.
She’d given so much time to the wife issue she’d not paused to consider the equally precarious role of stepmother.

Given this occurrence, it was hardly surprising that she was rather subdued when she arrived at the palace to meet her stepdaughter, trying hard as she did so
not
to think about Karim’s formal cold reception at the airport. Like a new over-hyped blockbuster, it had been a major anticlimax.

Even the incredible atrium with the mosaic ceiling of lapis lazuli failed to awaken her enthusiasm—she just kept seeing his expression when he had walked out to meet her on the tarmac.

Karim had looked at her as though she were a stranger, or at least someone he wished were a total stranger rather than the wife he had to take home to meet his daughter. Someone he was saddled with for the rest of his life.

The little girl, though, didn’t notice any atmosphere between the adults. She showed no sign of illness as she literally bounced with excitement when she saw Eva.

She immediately became entranced by the colour of Eva’s hair and announced she wanted her own hair to be that colour when it grew back, just like her new mama.

Eva had a lump in her throat when she told her that she had always wanted black hair and people rarely liked what they had. The little girl was allowed to have tea with them before she was ushered away for a nap by her nurse.

With a spontaneous display of affection she climbed on Eva’s knee and hugged her before her nurse dragged her away.

‘She’s lovely.’ Eva had been conscious of Karim’s silent presence, but while the child was there she had not been forced to actually look at him.

She did so now and she could do this. She wanted him, so why pretend? Even the scent of his skin from this distance was driving her totally crazy.