The Shadow Queen (30 page)

K
OL JERKED HIS
hand away from Lorelai’s chest and stared in horror at the blood pouring from her. Her eyes were closed. Her body lay limp on the crumpled marble floor, surrounded by the dust of the things that used to be vines.

Skies, no. Lorelai? Lorelai!
His heart thudded against his chest, but there was no call to hurt, punish, and kill because he’d already done it. He’d hurt her.

He’d
killed
her.

He’d killed the girl who’d saved him.

His hands shook, and his throat ached with unshed tears as he doubled over and pressed his forehead to hers.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

It didn’t matter how many times he said it, or how deeply he meant it. It only mattered that she was gone, and that he’d done it.

So what if Irina had driven him to it? It wasn’t Irina’s fingers covered in Lorelai’s blood. It was
his
.

He didn’t know how he was ever going to be able to shoulder the guilt.

The memory of her gaze and the kindness in her eyes as she told him it wasn’t his fault and that she forgave him were blazing coals in his chest. He didn’t want her forgiveness.

He wanted
her
.

He wanted her, but she’d done what she’d promised she’d do. She’d destroyed Irina. She’d set Ravenspire free. And she’d sacrificed herself to save Kol.

He choked on a sob and stroked her pale cheek. Ran his fingers through her long dark hair as grief ripped at him. Pressed his thumb against her red lips and jerked upright in shock as the faintest whisper of a breath passed her lips.

She was alive.

She was alive, and he wasn’t going to fail her again. He couldn’t call for help without his human heart to give him words. He refused to leave her side when he had no idea where to find a physician or how to make himself understood in time.

He’d have to save her himself. He stared at the wound in her chest and ordered himself to think. There was a solution, there had to be, and if anyone was skilled at finding unlikely solutions around sticky problems, it was Kol.

His dragon heart thumped in agreement, and its fire stirred in his chest.

His fire.

Quickly, he called the heat and let it blaze through him until it reached his hands.

If he could melt a sword with his touch, he could seal Lorelai’s wound.

He lay his hands across the wound he’d made and prayed to the skies above that it would work. The heat sizzled against her flesh, cauterizing the blood flow.

Lorelai? Please . . . please wake up. Move a finger. Do something to show me you’re still with me.
He searched her mind, but all he could find were faded images of blood in snow and shattered pieces of what looked like an ebony carriage.

He’d stopped the bleeding, but she was still going to die if he couldn’t find a way to mend what was broken inside her. If he could just get her to heal herself, she’d be fine. If he could just get her to use her magic . . . the memory of him stalking across the waterfall’s cave, insisting that if she didn’t survive her battle with Irina, he’d kiss her back to life blazed across his mind. Lorelai had said magic didn’t bring people back to life, but she was still alive. Barely, but it was something.

Please let this work. Please
. He bent toward her, framed her face in his hands, and kissed her.

Come back to me, Lorelai. Don’t leave me alone. You promised you’d save me, but I’m not saved if I have to bury you and go home to what’s left of Eldr. Please, Lorelai, please. Come back to me.

For a long moment, Lorelai remained limp and unmoving. Kol deepened the kiss and sent her his memories of her strength. Fearlessly choosing to save him in Tranke, even though he was a stranger to her. Choosing to help him try to break his blood oath, honoring her promise to save Eldr, healing him when he’d tried to kill her. Letting him into her heart, though she knew he was still bound to Irina. And finally, saving him by killing Irina even though it meant she wouldn’t be able to stop Kol from tearing into her chest.

You’re strong enough to come back to me, Lorelai. I know you are. Your heart just has to want it. Your heart has to want to live more than your body wants to die.

She stirred. A breath. A slight movement of her chest. And then her magic, in slow spirals of brilliant white, burst from her palms and surrounded the two of them, lifting them off the floor as it wrapped them in power that Kol could feel in his bones.

Her heart jerked once. Twice. Her nostrils flared. And then she threw her head back as her heart began beating in a strong, steady rhythm and the wounds on her arms and legs disappeared. The magic set them down again and dissipated.

Kol tried to say something, but the words wouldn’t come. She was alive. He leaned forward and covered his face with his hands and tried not to show her how badly he was shaking.

She was
alive
.

He didn’t realize she’d moved until she sat beside him and wrapped him in her arms.

You saved me
, she said.

We saved each other.
He turned to her and buried his face in her shoulder.
I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say to make it better
.

I already forgave you
. Her voice was warm and sure.
We both know it was Irina making the choices, not you. Besides, far more important than the fact that an evil mardushka took control of you for a while is the fact that you figured out a way to save me.

He raised his head and gave her a tiny smirk.
I did tell you I’d kiss you back to life if I had to.

She smiled.
I’m sure it was a hardship for you.

He tried and failed to smile in return.
I thought I’d lost you. I don’t ever want to go through that again.

She took his face in her hands.
My heart will always come back to you.

Her kiss warmed him in a way his dragon’s fire never would. He pulled her against his chest and held her for a moment while in the corridor above them, footsteps sounded as maids and pages crept to the bannister to peer at the devastation below and to wonder in whispers where the queen had gone.

Then the front door banged open, and Trugg stomped in followed by the rest of his friends, and, skies help him, even Sasha. The bird swooped down, took one look at the pool of Lorelai’s blood on the floor beside them, and gave him a death glare.

Tell your bird not to kill me.

She’s not going to kill you.

She is definitely considering it.

“Kol!” Trugg ran forward and snatched his king out of Lorelai’s arms and into the air. Setting Kol on his feet, Trugg slapped his shoulder, and Kol had to take a giant step forward to keep from falling to his knees.

Mik and Raum ran past him and bent to help Lorelai to her feet while Jyn and Tor unchained Gabril.

“Are you okay?” Mik asked Lorelai.

“I’m all right. Irina is dead. And I’m pretty sure Kol is a little jealous that you seem more concerned about me than about him.”

Kol was mortified to realize he’d been thinking exactly that. He tried to give Lorelai a please-don’t-share-every-intimate-thought-I have-with-this-lot kind of look, but his friends
surrounded him, thumping him on the back and hugging him.

“You did it,” Gabril said quietly to Lorelai, and the image in her thoughts showed Kol how much Gabril’s approval meant to her.

“We knew the moment the queen died,” Raum said. “It was like an earthquake rolled through the ground, straight toward Eldr, and the nasty magical creatures outside stopped fighting and crumpled into dust. I think the queen’s blood oath was satisfied and so her magic kept her side of the bargain as she died. Of course, we’ll need to go to Eldr to be sure, but I think the ogres might be sealed back into Vallé de Lumé again.”

Kol felt like the crown of Eldr suddenly weighed nothing at all.
I need one of my friends to go ahead of us now and scout Eldr for the ogres so that so they can meet us on our journey home and let us know what to expect. Skies, it would be so much easier if I could just ask them myself.

Don’t worry.
Lorelai sounded amused.
You’re about to have the ability to share your thoughts for yourself.

“That’s enough of a reunion,” Lorelai said, and Kol was amazed to see that his friends, even Trugg, instantly paid attention to her. “I need to find Kol’s human heart and restore it..”

“I don’t know.” Trugg wiggled his brows at Kol. “I think the fact that he can’t order us around out loud is kind of fetching.”

Lorelai punched Trugg’s shoulder.

“What? Too soon?” Trugg asked.

Moments later, after placing her hand on Kol’s chest and whispering an incantor, Lorelai had located the gold box that held his heart. She picked it up gently and looked askance at his chest.

“This is my first heart restoration. I honestly have no idea how to do this.”

“I think you use your magic to put it back,” Jyn said helpfully.

Lorelai narrowed her eyes. “You don’t say.”

Irina sent her magic into me first and then my heart just sort of appeared in her hand.

Let’s hope it works just as well in reverse.

Her magic tingled in his blood, as familiar now to him as the beating of his own hearts. And then Lorelai, her face white with strain, was holding his heart in her hand and whispering an incantor over and over again as if she was terrified she’d get it wrong or it wouldn’t work.

His human heart began to beat in time with his dragon’s, and then it flickered like candlight caught in a draft. She said her incantor once more, and his heart disappeared from her hand and returned to its rightful place inside of him. His human skin felt soft and malleable, no longer the iron cage that had held his dragon form at bay. His thoughts were clear, no more violent whispers from is dragon’s heart, and words flowed easily to his tongue. He rubbed a palm against his chest and gave her a shy smile.

“Is this the point in our ongoing conversation where I tell you that you look—”

“Don’t even say it.” She smiled at him.

“I guess since we can have normal conversations now—”

“We should figure out how to block our thoughts?” Her smile slipped a little.

His did too.

Or not
, he said.
I kind of like having you in my head. Especially
since I have to rule Eldr and you have to rule Ravenspire, so we’ll be spending time apart.

Not too much time.
She sounded stern, though her smile was back in place as she leaned against him.
I’m pretty sure I could find use for a dragon king—

Could you now?
She laughed.
Of course. A dragon king to help me tour my kingdom—

To kiss you senseless—

To save me time when I need to light a winter’s fire—

He leaned toward her.
To kiss you senseless—

To help me find—

He kissed her. Her lips parted for his, her hands, full of magic, pressed against his hearts, and though he was miles from Eldr and everything he’d ever known, he was home.

“I’m going to be sick. Do you hear me?” Trugg sounded grumpy. “The two of you make me want to vomit.”

“Shut it, Trugg.” Raum shooed the rest of the Eldrians from the room. “Kol has more than earned this happiness.”

“I’d like a little happiness like that,” Trugg said as he walked out the door.

“Then maybe don’t talk about vomiting when there are girls present who might otherwise be interested in kissing you.” Jyn followed him from the room.

“You’re interested in kissing me?” Trugg sounded shocked.

“Not anymore.”

Kol pulled back from Lorelai and smiled as the door shut behind his friends. “They’re always like that.”

“I love them.” She took his hands. “And I love Eldr because it’s yours. Whenever you feel strong enough to shift, we’ll go
there and make sure Irina’s blood oath got rid of the ogres. If it didn’t, I’ll take care of it.”

And she would because she had promised. And because she was strong enough to stand up when others couldn’t.

He kissed her one last time, and then together they went out to gather the rest of the Draconi to head back to Eldr.

I
T SEEMED WRONG
to have her formal coronation ceremony without Leo there, critiquing the fashions, eating far too many of the appetizers, and charming one and all with his reckless smile, but it was time to assume the formal title of queen and wear the crown she’d fought so hard to take from Irina.

Formal coronation or not, Lorelai had been the acting queen of Ravenspire from the moment Irina had died. She’d visited Eldr to make sure Irina’s blood oath had sent her magic to imprison the ogres once more—and to spend a little time with Kol in his own kingdom. She’d opened lines of communication with Ravenspire’s allies. And she’d toured the land, building trust with peasants and nobility alike and doing what she could to heal the ravages of the blight while handing out food that Kol’s treasure had purchased for Ravenspire from the merchants in Súndraille.

But spring was here, and with Ravenspire’s crisis beginning to pass, it was time to face the ceremony she’d been putting off for so many months.

Lorelai stared at herself in the mirror. Leo would’ve loved this dress—it was bold and dramatic. Wearing it made her feel like somehow part of him was going to stand on the stage beside her like they’d always planned.

“Red is the perfect color for your dress, Your Highness.” Her maid pursed her lips in concentration as she deftly swept Lorelai’s hair into a complicated updo. “You’ll be getting asked to dance by every nobleman in attendance.”

“Thank you, Marlis.” Lorelai smiled at her maid, but there was only one boy she wanted to dance with, and he was far away in Eldr.

Maybe you can pretend to be dancing with me.
Kol’s voice sounded amused.

While my feet are being trampled by some old nobleman with gout?

You can tell him he has adorably wild hair.

Don’t make me sorry our connection works over such a long distance now.

He sent her a cheeky grin.

She knew how to fix that.

Of course, I believe most of the older noblemen are actually bringing their sons—only the ones eligible for marriage, of course—to dance with me. The consensus seems to be that I would make a pretty good catch.

You aren’t going to marry a boring nobleman’s boring son.

No?

No, because if one proposes to you, he’ll be eaten by morning. Dragons have very healthy appetites.

Now it was her turn to smirk as Marlis finished her hair and slipped the sapphire earrings Kol had given her into her ears.

Draconi don’t eat people.

I’ve been looking for a new hobby.

She rolled her eyes and stood.
Time for me to go face the crowd. You’ll stay with me?

I’m always with you.

He sent her a smile she moved down the stairs, flanked by her guards, and headed toward the ballroom. She pressed her hands against the crimson silk of her dress, tugged on its tiny sleeves, and worried with the enormous floor-length skirt that felt like it weighed as much as Lorelai herself. She’d probably fall on her face if she tried to dance.

You’ll be fine.
He sounded amused but also something else.

She looked harder and her brow rose.
Nervous?

Maybe.

About what?
she asked as pages opened the ballroom doors, and she swept inside.

About this
.

The crowd parted, leaving her a clear path to the stage where the head priest from the capital’s cathedral waited to place the official crown on her head and name her the queen of Ravenspire.

She began walking toward the stage, and there he was, wearing a black dress coat and a red cravat that matched her dress. His expression was solemn, though his hair was still unruly.

Surprise
, he said.

You came.
Her lips trembled as she smiled.

Of course I came.
He matched her smile and held out his arm as she approached.

He led her onto the stage and then stepped back down as the
entire crowd curtsied and bowed.

The priest spoke for a few moments on duty to both the kingdom of Ravenspire and to the higher power who ruled all kingdoms from the heavens above, but Lorelai had no idea what he was saying. She concentrated on not shaking. It helped a little to see Gabril standing tall and confident beside Ada and his sons, but when the strain of having hundreds of eyes on her got to be too much, she looked at Kol and felt steady once again.

Then the crown was on her head, and it was ridiculously heavy.

So is mine
, Kol said as the music started and people began to dance.

I won’t be able to dance with this thing on. I’m top-heavy. I’ll fall over.

I’ll catch you.
He pulled her close to him, and the look in his eyes sent a flurry of butterflies into her stomach. Then he kissed her, and the warmth of his chest made her pulse race. Her breath caught while the magic in her blood called to Kol’s hearts, and for the first time since she’d left Eldr behind, Lorelai was home.