The Sessions (Covenant Series) (4 page)

She cleared her throat a little. “I have
four. I’m the youngest.”

“Wow. That’s a lot. I was an only child after my brother.” He hoped she got the hint that he’d like an information exchange.
Patience was definitely one of her virtues. But then it was one of his as well.

“How about I tell you a little about myself?”

Micah smiled at the unexpected treasure. He turned in his chair and scooted to the table, mostly to hide his hard on. “I would love that.” Utterly true. She had taken his information exchange bait, and was being honorable by going first. He already knew what he’d tell her when it came time to sharing.

“Well, I had a normal life, maybe even boring by some standards. My mom was a regular Betty Crocker…too bad it didn’t rub off on me. My dad was a philosopher and doctor.
He loved William James.” She smiled fondly.

“I see who you took after
.” He felt like a young boy at an amusement park for the first time.

“Yes.” She bit her lip
, still grinning while delving into her beautiful shoe box of innocent memories. “I loved playing in my dad’s office. The smell of books was just…wow, I still love the smell.”

“So do I.”

She bit her lip again, flashing a look his way. His arousal had colored the words and she’d caught it. So perceptive. He wondered why she looked at him though. To see him in that emotion?

“My mom was forever chasing after me to be girly and I hated it. We were three boys and two girls, and
apparently my sister just before me stole all the girly genetics from my mom and she had none left to give me.”

Micah
laughed out right at that. “You seem to have grown into your girlie, I think.”

The surprise on her face,
or adamant disbelief, crimped her forehead. “I’m so not girlie.”

He
chuckled and lowered his head a bit. “Okay. You’re not girlie.”

“I’m not!
I’m not into fancy clothes or make up, or
jewelry.
I even
hate
shopping!” She seemed desperate to prove her delusion.

“Well, if that is your definition of girlie, then you’re right. You’re not girlie. I thought you meant something else.”

She seemed to relax a little. “I mean I know I
look
like a girl,” she muttered, fishing for him to elaborate.

“You
’re free to believe what you want about yourself,” he said.

“Fine, tell me.”

“Tell you what?”

“What is your definition of girlie.”

He shrugged a shoulder. “I said you grew into your girlie. And I meant you became a beautiful woman.”

Her reaction was one for the books. He’d never seen her look so shocked. “Please doc, you’re far too
intelligent and perceptive to not be aware that you’re beautiful.”

“You’re right,” she conceded
too casually. “It is rather thick of me to not be aware of my beauty. I can’t tell you how often I’ve been called the blind professor. And with all the guys knocking down my door, how could I miss it? And me being single, well, that sort of just slaps me in the face with it, just amazing that I’ve managed to miss your delusion.”

Micah
had to laugh. “So, because I think you’re beautiful, I’m delusional?” He loved being able to say
I think you’re beautiful
to her face and yet not.

“
Oh, stop, enough. And I guess you know how gorgeous you are.”

Micah
shifted in his seat readjusting his hard on. Was she playing? Did she really think that?

“I assure you
, in a matter of days, you will have every woman knocking at your door,” she knocked on the table for emphasis. “I, on the other hand, have been living here for seven years and have had zero men, aside from maintenance, knock on my door.”

He was shocked and thrilled. “
It’s not my fault they’re blind.”

She became animated in her frustration
.
“Oh hell, forget it, I’m glad you’re blind to whatever it is they apparently see or don’t see.”

“You’re glad?”

“As in, for your sake, I could care less if you think I’m beautiful or hideous, that is hardly the point of our relationship.”

“Ah. Yes, you’re right.”

“Would you like some coffee? I’d like a cup, I’ll bring you some.”

“Yes, please.”

Micah watched her hurry off, unable to contain his grin. He’d never seen her so flustered. What he’d give to
feel
what was going through her head in that moment.

Chapter Four

Sarah made it to the kitchen and gasped, holding on to the counter. My. God. The man was not making it easy, was he? Nobody called her
beautiful!
Ever! He was being utterly ridiculous. This no doubt meant she’d hit on a hornets nest and he was turning the tables to keep her at bay. And it had to do with his brother.

She went over her earlier mantra, refocussing her mission. The mission was
Micah. Broken Micah. She was a doctor. His doctor.
Because I think you’re beautiful, I’m delusional?
Ugh, nice move Romeo, but she knew better. He was evading. She poured their coffee and loaded the tray with coffee fixings and headed back out. Shit, she’d admitted to thinking he was gorgeous.

She needed to keep an eye on Mr. Tactic
al Maneuvers and not let him get the upper hand. Damn personal information exchange she’d submitted to. Why was this hard with him? Was it really because he was gorgeous? Was she really that pathetic? Shallow? Now was so not a good time to become a hormonal teenager. She’d gotten past that miserable disappointment. Oh hell. She needed to damn well make sure he never found out she was still a
virgin.
How horrific.

She set the tray down on the table outside, preparing to take back control.

“Can I ask you one more personal question?”

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. “Depends.” She busied herself with making her coffee and his.
“Cream and sugar?”

“
One of each, please. But do you think it’s bad to be my age…and be a virgin?”

She froze, staring at him. Couldn’t be. No way. “Of course I don’t,” she managed casually. “A person’s sexuality is an extremely sensitive thing. I would hope one would never feel the need to give that part of themselves for the wrong reason.”

“Wrong reason?”

She stirred her coffee and banged the spoon on the edge of the cup,
weighing her words extremely carefully. “Like because it’s in style, or because society has set a standard on what’s a suitable age to have sex by. I think it’s all very wrong to imprison an individual with such a destructive stigma. A person’s sexuality, or sexual experiences should be…they should be…” Shit, not cherished, not special, something more medical. “…exceptional.” Go super doctor. She smiled and handed him his cup of coffee, forcing the trained eye to eye contact with her patient. Only he was not looking at her but down, contemplating.

Her therapeutic nature
ran her over and she reached across the table and touched his arm. “I think it takes more courage and guts to be a virgin than not.” She drew her hand back, realizing she’d just violated the damn physical contact protocol. While talking sex of all things.

He smiled and looked at her. “Thank you. Your words have helped me.”

She relaxed, grateful beyond belief that her touching didn’t bother him. She was sure he’d noticed, he didn’t miss a thing. “Oh, pff, it’s nothing.” Now she had to contend with the notion of him being a virgin. What were the odds? Odd was the key word here. In her profession, odd was the norm. But in a life of trauma, sexual abuse was also a norm. She reserved the possibility that he could very well be either lying about it or blocking it. Personality disorders came with a crap load of delusions.

“You were in the middle of telling me about yourself. Please finish.”

“How about a fair exchange of information.”

He chuckled. “In that case, you owe me a fair amount of information about yourself.”

It was her turn to laugh, loving his honesty. “I was hoping to think that the sessions we ha
ve here were different from the others.”

“How so?”

“Well…I just have a way I’d like to conduct therapy. Non-traditional methods.”

“Yes.” It was his easy yes. The yes that said, he understood and liked it.
She relaxed again.

****

Micah took a sip of the coffee made for him and prepared himself for the confession he’d planned with her. “I have women issues.” Her, specifically.

The look that came over her was exactly what he’d hoped. A hungry need to help. “How so?”

He shrugged. “I’m afraid to touch them.”

“Do you know why?”

“I think so.”

She waited for elaborat
ion.

“
I’m worried they’ll sense it.”

“Sense what?”

“That I’m not normal.”

“Can you define for me what you
feel is normal?”

“A man that can touch a woman
? A man that isn’t so utterly terrified of rejection that he can’t move or breathe or think?”

“I see. That is a problem.
And you want to be able to touch women?”

He chuckled.
“That would be nice.”

“Of course, of course,” she said softly. “I think I can help with that.”

His heart raced as he kept his head lowered, waiting to hear her idea. “How so?”

“Well, physical therapy for one.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Practicing. With my help of course.”

“You’re going to help me touch women?”

“Well, not literally, but I’m going to help you
practice what leads up to touching. And once you get comfortable doing that, we’ll move to the next step. Don’t worry, we can take all the time you need, there’s no need to rush this.”

He gave her a sigh, letting her know how grateful he was about the not rushing. He liked slow. “
So, what do you have in mind?”

“Well…” she contemplated a second then smiled. “Have you ever done a play?”

“Like…Romeo and Juliet?”

She gasped. “Yes. And that would be the perfect thing to start with. Only a modern version of one like that.
”

“Whyfore dost th
ou not wish to utilise our beloved Romeo?”

“Yes, that’s why
,” she giggled. “But you can play the man, I’ll play the woman and in no time, you’ll become comfortable with female confrontation.”

“You sure I shouldn’t play the woman?”

She raised her slender brows. “You know…I know you’re joking, but maybe it’s not a bad idea for us both to see what the other role feels like. Understanding the other gender helps in being able to connect with them.”

He smiled, loving the
way she thought, loving the plan. Just the notion of doing anything intimate with her was a winner. He would be able to play the part well with her. He hoped there would be…kissing involved. “Can I pick out the play?”

“Of course! Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Micah couldn’t wait for the session to end now. He wanted to go home and find the perfect play then masturbate while imagining him and her acting it out. What a rush.

“Are you still conducting your online research?”
he asked.

“Yes, I am.”

“How does that work?”

She seemed to think a moment. “Actually, I’m simply building relationships on line. And you know what? I think it would be great for you to participate. It’ll be a good way for you to engage with other people without the whole physical confrontation is
sue. It allows you to practice being in public without actually being in public, it’s one of the key components we plan to utilize in cyber therapy. I don’t see why you shouldn’t take advantage of it.”

“How does it work, exactly?”

“Well, are you familiar with online stuff? I’m sure you are as a mysterious writer.”

He shrugged. “I have agents that do all that.”

“Ah. Well, it’s easy. Heard of Facebook?”

He smiled. “Yes, I know that much.”

“Well, there is a group there that I joined called Caffeine Corner. You simply need to join and interact. It’ll be fun. You can be whoever you want there, but I encourage you to be the person you would like to be in reality.”

“You mean outgoing and friendly, not afraid to assert myself?”

“If that is what you would like, then yes.”

“I would love that.”

“Perfect. I’ll get the information.”

Micah
watched Sarah get up, his eyes straying to her ass as she disappeared through the door. Her clothes were too loose to define her shape, leaving him utterly curious.

She returned and sat down, handing him the paper.
“That’s my online name, you’ll have to send me a friend request. Let me know who you are, although I accept all requests for this research. The more the merrier. But once you do that, I’ll put you into the group and introduce you as a good friend. If that’s okay.”

“Yes.”

“Great! I’m so thrilled you’re doing this, I think this is going to be a lot of fun.” Sarah looked at her watch.

“Session over?”

“Well, I like to go by progress and not a clock, and I think we’ve made a lot.” She looked at him. “Why don’t I give you a tour of the apartment grounds tomorrow?”

He winced.

“Okay, fine you don’t have to.”

“I suppose if you’re there, I can pretend I’m not available.”

Sarah laughed. “Yes, I’ll be your body guard, beat the women back. I’ll be your girlfriend when you need, and your sister if you don’t.” She bounced her brows, and he grinned, glad to see her playful self again.

“I’m sure I’ll be safe with you.”

“Heck yeah,” she bragged lightly, sipping from her cup. “I have this neon anti-social sign in my aura. People stay away. It’s odd but so true. Not kidding.”

“They’re intimidated.”

She widened her eyes. “You think? I am rather loud and obnoxious and pushy, maybe…” she winced nodding, “…yeah that might do it.” She laughed though, as if she didn’t mind. As if, it was exactly what she wanted. To be left alone.

Micah
suddenly wondered what secrets she was hiding. Because a woman didn’t decide to be alone for no good reason. He added that to his need to discover list he’d made with her.