The Serenade: The Prince and the Siren [Daughters of the Empire 2] (BookStrand Publishing Romance) (54 page)

“Ummm…” She stared at him in disbelief. Frankly, that was the last thing she was interested in at the moment, but she was intrigued to hear him out.

“But only within the context of marriage.”

Her eyes flew open. He hadn’t forgotten.
He meant what he had said
.

Despite the pain racking her body, she was giddy with joy that he loved her. But she had never thought of marriage. She had a career that had only begun,
her life’s dream
. No, no, she couldn’t think about this, not now.

“I cannot imagine my life without you, Nicolette.” He took her hand and implored her, his voice shaky. “It is a stark loneliness for me. I have tried to put aside all thoughts of you, to proceed with discipline as I always have, but it drains me of all energy to contemplate it. I cannot go forward.”

“Go forward? I don’t comprehend…”

“My bride would have to convert to Catholicism.” His expression was distraught. “And I know how attached you are to your singing career. But we have an opera house in España, a very fine opera house behind the royal palace. You could perform there.”

Nicolette shook her head in shock.
Ohhhhh, that hurt
. She must remember to keep her head still.

This was the last thing she had expected. She had thrown herself at him. The man had rejected her lock, stock, and barrel. He had jumped over the bullring—he who protected himself for Spain first and foremost might have left Her without a ruler. And now he who was so concerned with appearances was giving her carte blanche to sing in Spain’s Royal Opera House. The queen of Spain performing!

Maybe I have blacked out and am hallucinating
. She took one hand and touched his cheek. His face had the rough feel of a man who needed to shave frequently. She studied his face and saw the high cheekbones, the strong chin, and, most telling, the fervor in his eyes.

Given her condition,
he could be an actor
. She had heard that everyone had a look-alike somewhere in the world. Possibly an actor hired by the queen mother, who had plotted her kidnapping.

And drugged the champagne.

“I know this is not the time to discuss it, Nicolette. I was simply so overcome with joy that you survived,” he murmured, shaking his head, “despite the fact that you insist upon making the most foolish decisions available to you at every opportunity.”

It was Alejandro, all right.

“But, Alejandro, you aren’t thinking clearly.” Though it pained her to speak, she managed to form the words. “It would be a detriment to your country to marry me. You would come to hate me.” She shook her head and then thought the better of it, groaning. When would she learn?

“Never. I love you, Nicolette.
Mi cielito, mi vida
. You are my heaven and
my life
.” He took her hand and kissed it gently.

“Alejandro. When? How?” she whispered, watching him. She felt herself warming to the feel of his lips on her hand. Was it possible?
That he truly loved her?
She felt giddy even as her head was spinning, and her heart wanted to jump out of her chest. She had loved him for so long—and in this marvelous moment she could not even sit up!

“I will never change my mind, Nicolette. If you knew me better, you would know that. You will
always
be my love.”

“Oh, I wish it could be…” Maybe it was true. Maybe he was not delirious. Or maybe she was. “If only we could be together. If only you could live in Paris with me.”

“I shall rule Spain from Paris.” He chuckled, his melancholy grin lighting his face. “If I could, I would
for you
.”

“But don’t you see, Alejandro? It is not possible.”
How ridiculous
. She felt like a fool. “It is not possible.”

“Let us make it possible.”

“We each have separate destinies, Alejandro.”

“I love you, Nicolette. I am ready to compromise my standing with the national community, put everything I hold dear at risk, compromise my
duty
because I cannot bear to live without you. I can no longer contemplate the thought of a life separate from you.” He shook his head, laughing. “I, who haven’t felt fully attached to anyone in many years. Something has come alive in me. And I begin to think that my life matters, that
I matter
, because of you. I want a life. I want to live.”

“Alejandro…” she whispered, watching him. How could she ever love anyone as much as she loved him? “Of course you matter. So much. But the only thing for us is this time together and a night of pleasure.”

“One night?”

“Not tonight. But when I have recovered somewhat.”

“I need to know, Nicolette.” He studied her, his expression desperate. “Do you not reciprocate my feelings? What am I to you? Why did you throw yourself in front of a deadly animal if not to gain my attention? And you did gain my attention. You awakened me—for the second time. You made me realize the depth of the value which I place on your life. Did you do it simply for one night of carnal lust? Is that all that you feel for me?”

“I do. I mean no. I mean, yes, I do, I love you, Alejandro. I have for so long.” Nicolette closed her eyes momentarily, feeling tears welling up at this impossible situation combining, as it were, with the pain of her injuries. She didn’t know what she felt anymore. She had been confused ever since she had met him. “Why else would I want to experience all of you? Why else would I throw away my chance at a respectable marriage?”

“Then say
yes
.” His face lit up. “Say
yes
you will marry me.”

“Marriage with you is not possible, Alejandro. I do not wish to leave my singing career, and I certainly do not wish to be the queen of a country. I could not give up a vocation I love for a position I want nothing to do with. I am not merely a singer. The music
is
me.” She pushed the hair out of his eyes. “No, Alejandro, do not do this. You know very well that this can never be.”

“Why? Tell me why it cannot be,
mi cielito
?” he demanded. “You may perform to our guests after dinner. It will be considered very elegant to hear the queen of Spain sing. And you are the daughter of a peer. There can be no question of your bloodline.”

“Alejandro, I do not perform occasional songs after dinner. I perform whole operas.” She was shocked on every level of her being. But even in this state the absurdity of what he was proposing was clear. “I have a profession.” She gazed into his dark eyes and saw herself swimming there. She gulped. “I have a…
life
.”

“Ah, a life. You have a life, but I do not, Nicolette. Not without
you
. And you cannot have a life if you are with me.
I see
. That does make our situation impossible.” He frowned, and she saw pain written across his face even as all the hope appeared to die in his eyes.

Take care that you have something here when the applause stops.
She thought back to the Dalai Lama’s words as he had touched his heart. She looked at Alejandro. He was so much larger in her mind than any stage or audience. When had that happened? She wanted to cry from her longing for him.

No! She would not!
She would not give up the dreams she had worked for—just now coming to fruition.

“
Would you not miss me, Nicolette?
” He stared at her, his expression cold and hard, his broad shoulders heaving. He stretched his long legs out before him, and she could see her reflection in the sheen of his knee-high black leather boots. Pain seemed to be welling up inside of him, and his voice grew deadly soft. “You are willing to go away, to live apart forever. How can you do this so easily? My heart is breaking at the thought of being separated from you, but clearly it is a simple decision for you.”

“I will miss you every day of my life, Alejandro. But don’t you see? It is simply not meant to be. One night together is all that we have. We must take that for ourselves.”

He leaned down and kissed her forehead tenderly, his coal-black hair brushing against her skin. Her heart was crushed as a vision of her life with him floated away before her. She felt his control, his stiffness, and it sickened her.

“You need time to think about it,” he pronounced in his most sultry voice. He returned to his seat, his camel pants adhering to his every movement perfectly. Looking at her, his rich, dark eyes caused her to melt inside, and she forgot her pain for a moment as she lost herself in them. The man had the most charisma of any man she had ever known. He could have sunk a ship with those eyes if he had set his mind to it. “I apologize. It was wrong of me to bring it up now.”

“No, I don’t need time. I shall not change my mind.”

“Very well. But remember,
mi vida
, you cannot have what you do not pay for. And neither shall I change my mind.”

“
Pay for?
How dare you! Why I—”

“Unless you marry me, Nicolette, you shall never have that night.” His lips formed a slow, seductive smile. “
A shame
. I am thought to have a certain…
ability
.”

“Never?” She gulped. “But, I…we…”

“
Never
. But you shall be invited to my wedding, of course. It cannot be long detained.”

“Your
wedding
? Oh, I see. It is next on your royal agenda, is it? By all means, let us not delay! Why, I wouldn’t…not if…”

“You told me once, Nicolette, that your body is your instrument.” His eyes penetrated hers, and she shivered. “I should like to
play
that instrument.”

As she gazed into his eyes she grew weak at the thought. She hoped that she wasn’t blacking out again.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Just wait

my dear young lady,

And meanwhile I'll tell you

in a word

Who and what I am.

Shall I?

—
Giacomo Puccini,
La bohème

“He
what
? His Majesty proposed marriage to you?” Lady Elaina exclaimed, taking a deep breath as she attempted to keep pace with Nicolette.

Nicolette especially liked the Sabatini Gardens on the grounds of the Palacio Real. They were something of a maze, which disturbed the guards. All of the grounds surrounding the palace were magnificent—fountains, lakes, ponds, waterfalls, gardens, statues, monuments. But she had a partiality for the northern view of the palace from the fountain the size of a fighting ship.

She glanced behind her, watching for the guards. Although no one else in her party appeared to be plagued by them, since she arrived she had been unable to escape their surveillance.

The guards maintained their distance, but they were ever present, and it had only gotten worse since her lovely encounter with the bull. Outside her room there were guards. Anywhere she went she was followed by guards.

“It is conspicuously obvious,” Lady Elaina continued, panting as she spoke. “That he is enamored of you, but I never thought that he would consider
marriage
! He is more devoted to his country than any person I ever met. And certainly you are wellborn, Nicolette, but not high enough for a sovereign ruler.” She grabbed Nicolette’s arm, stopping her in her tracks, as she heaved.

“It’s not much farther, Grandmamma,” she pleaded. “We shall sit next to the fountain, and the sound of the water will cover our voices.”

“And you are a singer on the stage.” Lady Elaina rolled her eyes but kept pace with her granddaughter. “You have a
reputation
, shall we say.”