The Scroll of Seduction (34 page)

Read The Scroll of Seduction Online

Authors: Gioconda Belli

BOOK: The Scroll of Seduction
12.44Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

“We should open all the boxes,” I said. “And the suitcases.”

“I already have. There's nothing here. I went over everything you see inch by inch. What do you think I've been doing these past few nights? I'm telling you, there's nothing here,” he whispered, as if anyone could hear us.

“But don't you think that's odd? Why would they go to the trouble of dividing the room? Who needs an attic when the house is so big? It stinks in here,” I added. “Old clothes.”

“There are a few overcoats in one of the boxes. And a rat's nest. I think that's what smells so bad.”

“Yuck!” I felt a shiver run through me. It wasn't an unbearable smell, but it was bitter and unrelenting, and if I thought about it I knew I wouldn't be able to breathe.

In the semidarkness, Manuel swung the flashlight back and forth. The tapestry was a Virgin of the Annunciation. I could just make it out
in the flashlight's dim beam. A woman's face with a fixed stare. I lit a candle.

“Careful,” Manuel said, turning around. “What are you doing?”

“I want to look at the tapestry. That flashlight is not bright enough.”

Manuel glanced down at his flashlight and then back at me, offended. It was old, aluminum, and very weak.

“I've had this since I was a kid,” he said, shining it on the wall. “Anyway, what about the tapestry? It's all frayed and faded. I'm surprised they haven't thrown it out.”

“Exactly,” I replied. “And it's nailed to the wall.”

“Probably harder to get it down than just leave it where it was.”

I drew all the way up to it with my candle.

“And look,” I said, “it's a Virgin of the Annunciation with dark hair and eyes. I've never seen one like that. They're always blond.”

“The tapestry,” Manuel whispered behind me, finally taking my hint, then getting more excited. “The hole they took Catalina out by was covered by a tapestry. That's why Juana didn't know about the tunnel they'd dug. But, of course, I kept wanting to see a trunk, Lucía. Like an idiot, I expected to see the trunk. But wait. Let me think a minute.” He lit a cigarette and inhaled desperately, as if it were oxygen. The smell of tobacco was comforting there. “It's so obvious, really, isn't it? The hiding place behind the tapestry. Ages ago, I looked behind every single one in the house, behind every painting too. And then what happens? I get this far and then it doesn't even occur to me here. Just like it didn't occur to me that they'd built this wall to hide the obvious.”

He'd gone into a state of rapture, contemplating the wall.

The tapestry was nailed to a wooden frame that was attached to the wall. Manuel felt all the way around it. He'd have to use the chisel to get the nails out, he said. He handed me the flashlight. It flickered on and off, petering out slightly.

“Shit,” he said. “I didn't think to change the batteries.”

His hands were shaking slightly. His cigarette dangled from the corner of his lips. It upset me to see him so worked up. I was nervous too,
and my hands were cold. I felt like an archaeologist on the verge of a great discovery, but his excitement seemed to border on anguish. He yanked at the tapestry urgently, as if he were clawing desperately from inside a coffin, having been buried alive. What would happen if, rather than an exorcism, the find resulted in a reiteration of the curse that had plagued his family for so long? To come face-to-face with Juana's condemnation would be daunting, despite the centuries gone by, despite the fact that his blood held almost no trace of the Denias who'd imprisoned her. I was scared that this obsession would haunt us all: me, because of the child I was carrying, Manuel and Águeda because of the power they ascribed to the past. The nails were coming out. Dust tickled my nose. Suddenly, the flashlight went out altogether.

“Damn it!” Manuel shouted. “Hang on.”

I passed him a candle, which he lit with his lighter. Then we lit two more and dripped candle wax onto one of the old tables to hold them down. Finally, all of the nails on one side were out. Manuel held up a candle so we could see into the space behind it. I could hear his surprise, his breath.

“What can you see, Manuel?”

“There's a door!” he cried. “A door,” he repeated.

He was panting.

“A door!” I couldn't believe it.

We had to take the tapestry all the way off the wall. His impatience was contagious. We were both sweating. Hot wax was dripping onto my fingers and burning my skin. I don't know how much time passed before I helped him yank the tapestry off the wall and heave it over to one side. A narrow door stood in front of us. Manuel pushed it. It opened into a short, nearly circular space that seemed to have been hollowed out of one corner of the house and ended at a few steps that led down. We must have been in a really ancient part of the house. The walls were rough and uneven. Manuel was talking to himself, something about when the third floor was remodeled. His grandfather must have known about this, he whispered. We crept toward the stairs. Manuel had one candle. I had another one. I was leaning my hand into the darkness looking for support when I touched what felt like a wood engraving.

“Manuel,” I said.

He stopped. We both saw the niche in the wall at the same time; it had a wood cover carved with Mudejar patterns. Crisscrossed over it were two narrow cords and a wax seal stamped in red: a coat of arms: five stars and a wood beam, the Denia coat of arms. Manuel held the candle up to the wax seal and touched it, incredulous. Beads of sweat were forming on his white skin. I was shivering. He handed me his candle and yanked on the cords. I closed my eyes. When I opened them, I saw that the cover to the niche was open, and there, inside it, was the trunk.

It was more like a small chest, covered in dark, almost black leather, with three lighter, vertical bands all the way around it. It was as if it had come from the dead, rather than just the past, like a strange replica of Juana's coffin in the monarch's crypt in Granada, resting beneath the sculpted tombstone of her parents, the king and queen. I clapped my hand over my mouth, trying to contain my irrational fears.

“Don't touch it, Manuel,” I said. He looked at me like I was mad. “We know where it is now. Let's just leave it, some things are better left unknown.”

He pushed me aside and then handed me his candle. Wax trickled down, burning me.

“Put that down and go get a few more,” he commanded.

I dripped wax on the floor and stuck the candle into it, then ran to get the two or three that we'd left on the table. Manuel shouldn't open that trunk, I thought, thinking of curses and spells in horror stories, archaeologists who died after discovering secrets in Egyptian tombs. I felt ridiculous, superstitious. I came back with the candles, and he handed me his lighter, telling me to light them and prop them up on the floor. Manuel's face had transformed. He was concentrating intently, but he also had a smile that seemed to have come from his childhood. He gazed at the trunk lovingly as he slid it toward him, carefully, delicately, as if he were holding a hand that had been reaching out to him for centuries, a hand, I thought, that could just as easily yank him back into the past forever.

Once the trunk was on the floor, I held the candle while he rushed to open the tiny gold-and-rose-colored locks. He was babbling to himself,
unintelligible sounds that only he could understand. I felt like a voyeur, witnessing his unbridled love for Juana; if it wasn't madness, it certainly resembled it. He loved her the way Juana loved Philippe, a love beyond death. A love of death, maybe. Manuel wished I were Juana, but in reality he was the one who resembled her. Not the Juana he wanted me to embody, but Juana the Mad who'd been imprisoned by her ancestors.

Manuel pulled two folders from the trunk, one looked modern and one ancient. He sat down on the floor in that cramped space, and I followed suit. Like him, I couldn't take my eyes off the folders. The passageway, the stairs, my curiosity to know where they led, would have to wait. Paler than normal even, Manuel looked like a man possessed. I don't think he was even aware of my presence. Beside him, silent, expectant, terrified, I trembled for other reasons too. After flipping through the newer folder that held who knows what documents, he opened the older one. I saw several sheets of parchment and got the chills. I recognized that distinctive medieval calligraphy, slightly faded, the words scrunched together with no spaces, no punctuation.

While he was absorbed in the text, I leaned against the cold wall and rubbed my eyes. I felt a deep, sweeping sadness pressing down on my brain.

“Manuel, I'm here. Read it to me too. Read it out loud.”

“All right,” he said. “Close your eyes.”

I
T'S JANUARY.
1525.
A COLD WIND RISES THROUGH THE BATTLEMENTS
making the bells of San Antolín toll lightly. Night has fallen over the Duero. The frost-covered water glimmers in the moonlight. Catalina has left to marry the king of Portugal. The ambassadors took her away, sobbing. My daughter, that flesh of mine living outside my flesh, without which I am no longer Juana nor anyone who wishes to live, has taken her memories of this prison to the royal court where she will soon learn the deceits of liberty. We were free here, she and I, amid these towers. Locked up behind these walls and belfries that are home to
storks, we lifted up our hearts, Sursum Corda, and saw with no eyes, heard with no ears, ate with no mouths, wakeful while the world slept. But she will do well, my Catalina. I do not deceive myself into thinking that this slow death is life. Meanwhile, I will start my journey, the journey that will end on the other side of the Styx in the land of the dead where my parents live, where I will find Phillipe, my brother Juan, my sister Isabel. Nobody there will attempt to strip me of my sanity because power disputes will be done forever.

I know I shall live a long time. Life clings to me as one of its own. It recognizes me, like a cloud does water. Further on, my granchildren perhaps will take pity on me, the sons and daughters of Ferdinand, María, Isabel, Leonor, and Catalina, my offspring. I will take whatever they might wish to grant me and continue to rebel against the Denias who, despite being closest to the beating sounds of my heart and my words, refuse to see me for who I am and choose to view me in the dark light of their own fantasies.

Mine has not been a placid existence. I came into this world with too much impetus, with my chest laid bare. My thirst for air and space confounded those who live ganged up in pens and stables occupied with fattening their flesh or their pockets. I dread the long lonely days that await me, the battles I will still have to fight against confessors and priests who will try to tame my soul, since they were unable to tame my body. I am aware of the clerics that already have snuck into my room to practice exorcisms while I sleep. Because they are incapable and cannot understand me, they presume Satan inhabits me, that he lays with me at night, that it is he with whom I quench the legendary passions of my flesh. Little can I do to straighten out their tangled thoughts. It pains me though to imagine the dim echoes of the bells that will toll on the day of my death. Oblivion has already begun to grow around me like ivy covering ancient ruins. Juana the Mad, they'll say. That deranged queen, the one who went mad for love. They won't even acknowledge me for the
queens and kings that issued forth from my womb: Charles I of Spain and V of Germany; Leonor, queen of France; Isabel, queen of Denmark; María, queen of Hungary; Catalina, queen of Portugal; and my little Ferdinand, emperor of Germany. A long, spiraling lineage coming out of me will leave its imprint in Europe and the vast lands of the New World. But all of that will be of no consequence to those who will hear the funeral bells or or see the sad, little cortege that will escort my remains. It is of no consequence here in in my tiny, dark room in Tordesillas, with the woman who embroiders by the door and the one who sits outside, tallying up each one of my sighs. They have gone through such lengths in order to keep me deaf and dumb; they fear that I might escape, wander through the village and speak to the villagers, that the court might remember I exist! Strange that they can be so afraid of a madwoman and choose to guard her so! They have chosen to bury me alive! As for me, I have no choice but to leave this imprecation for the centuries, these scrolls that I will hide, that I will keep writing, this ink that will be my blood speaking to the future.

Perhaps I am mad. I have no doubt they will convince me of it one day, that I will end up hallucinating, seeing cats. One can end up believing in lies if the lies are repeated incessantly, especially if they are all one hears. Mad was, no doubt, my passion for Philippe. It was certainly madness to love him like I did. But love does not choose its object according to reason or convenience. Love beseeches love, that is what love does. Fire burns, but so does ice, and I chose the flame. I am neither the first nor the last woman who loves without measure, who bangs her fists against a door that won't open, who pounces on a chest whose breath she needs to breathe. And I won't be the last who sets down her heart like a pennant in the ground she has carefully seeded and watered, and who keeps vigil from the highest tower, arms and steeds at the ready, so that the enemy armies shall think twice before flaunting their blond manes in the wind, or unsheathing the smiles they hide behind iridescent fans. I
fought every one of my battles. I waged war for all those whom I loved. It was for me that I did not fight for, and now I shall struggle to find liberty within my silence, within the vast fields of my indefatigable imagination, which will take me away from here to places where neither the Denias nor their descendants will ever manage to capture me. Perhaps I will lose myself as I wander through meadows and reedbeds, through the wide-open terrain of my imagination. So much have I lost that I no longer care. Yet I have one last endeavor: to win myself for myself. And I will prevail, even if no herald announces it, even if the centuries come crashing down on me like rumbling crumbling walls. Who will dare? I shall dare.

Other books

A Curse Unbroken by Cecy Robson
Exquisite Betrayal by A.M. Hargrove
Dragon's Mistress by Joanna Wylde
Ransom by Denise Mathew
Enchanter's Echo by Anise Rae
Standup Guy by Stuart Woods
Blue Desire by Sindra van Yssel