The Romantic Misadventures of a Modern Woman (2 page)

Soaking in the luxury of oversleeping on her day off, Nita rolled onto her back and looked up at the time. Her alarm clock projected the digits, using a low intensity laser, up to the ceiling. She would disable the alarm on Fridays so she could sleep in Saturdays, if she wanted. She figured, any bonus sleep was a good thing. Weekends were a great time to get some. Realizing she was fully awake, she, reluctantly lifted her head from her pillow, sat upright and started her day. While she was fixing her breakfast, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Nita, this is your mother." Her mom was very formal at the start of a phone call.

"Good morning, mom. how are you?"

"I am well, but I am worried about you."

"Why?"

"Nita, are you still broken up over Henry?"

"Oh, mom..." Nita thought: "here we go again".

"You know, dear, none of us are getting any younger..."

"Mom, don't worry about me. I'm just fine!" Nita said, almost pleading.

"Honey, I hate to sound like a broken record, but..."

"Yes, mom, I know, you want me to be happy with a husband..."

"That's right. Your father and I want to give you away."

"... and give you grandchildren." Nita added.

"Of course, daughter, but in order to find
 
the one
, you must get over your past".

"I know mom... oh! I have to go! My eggs are burning! I'll call you later!"

Nita hung up the phone and hastily moved the frying pan from the heat. The eggs were burned beyond recognition. Nita rushed to open her front door and the back windows to let the cross-breeze flush out the smoke. The fire alarm sounded anyway. Those were her last two eggs.

Finding some oatmeal and some milk, breakfast was back on. Nita brewed some tea and picked up the book Hannah gave her. Sitting back down, she thought about the conversation at Hannah's. She pulled out her notebook and a pen and asked herself the question on paper.

"How would I describe my perfect man?" 

She put her pen down next to her notebook. "Is there any such thing as a perfect man?" she wondered. "I had someone who was fantastic, or so I thought. How can I trust a man ever again?"

Nita reminded herself that she still needed to forgive Henry, but she knew she was not ready. After that last night, in front of her apartment, he called her only to discover she had blocked his number. He mailed a letter with no return address, but she recognized her handwriting. She put it in a box on the closet shelf, unopened.

She didn't want to talk to him and she was sure she didn't want to hear from him. He probably figured out that she had seen him with the pretty stranger. He probably figured out she was angry, and that it was best not to come to her apartment. And if he had, he would have been right.

Stepping outside for a walk around her neighborhood, Nita reviewed the discussion at Hannah's, but Henry continued to come to mind. She couldn't wrap her brain around what happened the night of their last date. But, regardless of whether she understood or not, he had someone else and she could never share her man, or be the other man. She wondered which one she was.

Her cell phone vibrated. It was a text from Hannah.

"Hey Nita - the Baggins are going speed-dating tomorrow at the Community Center. They invited both of us. Wanna go?"

Hannah was the only one of Nita's friends who avoided using shorthand in her texts. Most of her friends gave her a hard time about it, but she didn't care. She was almost obsessive about making sure no one misunderstood her digital messages.

"OK!" Nita typed the text message back to her friend.

Speed-dating would be a new experience. Going with people she knew would make it fun, even if she didn't think she'd be excited about anyone she met there. She didn't expect to be but it would be nice to have something to do Sunday Night.

Hannah called promptly at 8 o'clock. "Let's 
DO
 this!" she exclaimed.

Nita was ready for her call. She had gathered her notebook, pen and paperback and made a comfy place on her bed where she could sit and talk during this first meeting of the telephone book club.

"How far have you read in the book?" Nita inquired.

"I'm halfway through Chapter 3, but we're only going to talk about Chapter 1, today. What did you get from reading chapter 1?" Hannah asked.

Nita flipped through the pages to her bookmark. "From what I read, it looks like I am supposed to be working on making myself the best possible me, and the right man will take notice."

"Yep. I used to think it was up to me to search for the men I wanted in my life. I read lots of books, went to all the singles seminars, took classes and hung out wherever the expert 
du jour
 said was the latest trendy place to be, if I wanted to meet someone."

Nita was not used to Hannah sharing so personally about her life. She got the feeling her friend was about to say something particularly meaningful.

"I ended up exhausted..." she continued "...frustrated and disappointed at the quality of the men I was meeting. The results weren't worth the level of effort and time I was putting out."

"Did you just stop?" Nita asked.

"Almost. I was very angry at men and myself for what seemed to be a waste of everyone's time. I didn't have an alternative, so I began to think, if I gave up, it would mean I would never meet anyone decent."

"What did you do?"

"Well, I knew that I wasn't just ending an activity because it wasn't working for me. Around that same time, I was making a change in my life that I believe was a step of faith and obedience to God."

Nita was curious. "Was that all? I mean, did something serious happen before you made this decision?"

"As disillusioned as I was about men and dating, that would've been enough, but there was something else." Hannah confided.

"Oh." Nita thought she may have crossed a line with Hannah by asking her to share something personal. "You don't have to tell me. I didn't mean to pry."

"That's OK. I can tell you."

Although Hannah was not fiercely private, she rarely talked about herself. Her friends enjoyed being around her because she was such a good listener. They knew something
about her life, but she knew more about theirs. Most times, when she was with friends, by the time the conversation came around to Hannah talking about herself, it was time to go. She had a talent for shifting the focus away from herself. Nita realized she was privileged that her friend was trusting her with some personal information about her.

"I was raped."

Nita was silent, shocked at this revelation.

"It happened many years ago, before I moved here, to Karberry."

"Oh, Hannah!" Nita empathized.

Hannah continued, "A man I had just met, took me out on a date. I didn't know him very well, but I thought I would get to know him a little better. We went to a restaurant and enjoyed a good meal. The conversation was informal and we were enjoying the live band onstage. I remembered that I had two glasses of wine. My date slipped a drug into my glass and I didn't remember much after that."

"I am so sorry." Nita was still in shock.

"I woke up the next morning in an unfamiliar bed next to him. My body ached inside and out. There was no way we didn't have sex, but I couldn't remember any of it. He acted as if everything was normal, like we had gone a date that went so well, we decided to have sex. But, I know i didn't make that decision."

"What did you do?"

"Well, I was still a bit disoriented from the drug, so I quietly got up, excused myself, as graciously as I could, and went home."

"I had no idea. Did you call the police?"

"Not at first. It was a couple of days before I put all of the pieces together. People didn't talk about 'date-rape' very much back then. Anyway, when I did talk to the police, they went to his apartment and arrested him. He initially plead 'not-guilty' and the case went to trial. So, I had to testify as a witness against him."

"Was he found guilty?"

"Oh yeah, and he served time. Before he was released, I decided to move away and get a fresh start with my life. That's when I came here."

"Wow, otherwise I would not have met you." Nita thought, out loud.

"I am glad I met you, too, Nita. But, there is another, important part of this story."

"What?"

"I forgave him." Hannah explained.

"How could you do that for him after he did such an awful, disgusting thing to you?" Nita was feeling a bit angry.

"I didn't do it for him. Forgiveness is not so much for the other person as it is for you. When you choose not to forgive someone, even when there is no question about whether they're wrong, if I hadn't forgiven that man, it would be like me building a bomb, setting the timer and keeping it on my lap. Eventually, it would blow up and kill me. And
that guy would never know what happened, or care. Forgiveness was a big step for me to move on with my life."

"Wow." Nita remembered she hadn't forgiven Henry. She thought it was enough to stay away from him and make sure he didn't come near her. Now, she was wondering if she might be hurting herself by not forgiving him. "How did he take it when you forgave him?"

"I don't know if he even knows that I did" Hannah clarified. "Forgiveness is something that happens on the inside. I guess some people feel the need to speak with the person they are forgiving, but often that is not possible because the person is dead or they are not safe to approach. You can still forgive without talking to the person who hurt you."

Nita summoned the courage to speak, "Hannah, you know I'm thinking about Henry, right now."

"Yes, I can imagine."

"Do you think I should forgive him?"

"Absolutely, and I believe that you will, when you're ready."

"How will I know when I am ready?"

"I don't know the answer to that. But, you'll know. Until then, may I suggest that you pray and talk to God about it?"

"Sure, I can do that." Nita agreed.

"It's
gonna be alright. I'll be praying for you, too."

The Karberry Community Center was crowded with more than a hundred speed daters. The coordinators were careful to register equal numbers of men and women in advance. A handful of late-comers tried to add themselves to the list, but Security calmly advised them that the list was full and escorted them back to the parking lot.

The event was sponsored by KISS-LOVE 91, a radio station that featured the "Love Song Hour" every Friday and Saturday night. Nita remembered listening to that station with Henry. In recent months, their favorite song had become her most-hated song. She hoped that they wouldn't play it at the event.

Hannah and the cousins had already made it past the sign-in table by the time Nita arrived. She didn't take notice of others who were in line with her. She was just going along with her friends. As she got her name badge and seat assignment, Hannah was waving and motioning her to meet her near the refreshments.

"The dating will begin in 10 minutes." The radio station manager announced. "The ladies will remain seated at their tables. When the bell rings, the men will visit you at your table. Men, you have been given the table number you are to visit first. When the bell rings again, you will move to the next numbered table. Whoever is at the last table will move to table number one. The bell will ring every 2 minutes."

Nita noticed that the room was arranged with 50 round cocktail tables; each had two chairs on opposite sides. The event appeared to be very well-planned with warm lighting and a playlist of instrumental jazz renditions of popular love songs playing over the sound system. The room was beautifully decorated, almost as if the high school homecoming dance was scheduled afterwards.

The announcer continued, "You have been provided with a list of names of all the participants today; women are on one side, men on the other. As the men move between the tables, everyone should mark the name of the person they've just met. We suggest you add a special mark by the name of any person you would like to get to know better."

"We will take a five minute break every half-hour. Use that time to review your choices, stand and stretch, visit the restroom or get something to drink. When the event is over, we will collect your lists and match the names. If someone you have selected, also picks your name, KISS-LOVE 91 will hook you up at our next live event. Are there any questions? OK, let's get ready to speed-date!" Clicking the microphone off, the host left the podium and assisted the last of the participants to arrive.

Finishing her cheese and crackers, Nita wrapped the last few grapes on her plate with a napkin and stuffed them into her pocket. She carried her cup of punch to her desk. Perusing the list of men's names, she noticed the usual guy names and looked around the room to match each name with the man who looked like he owned it. She was relieved there was no one who shared his name with her ex. A couple of names on the list, she had never heard before. Attempting to pronounce them, Nita asked herself, "How could their parents seriously name them that?"

The "ding" of the bell sounded, and so began the parade of potential love interests with their naivete', nerves, confident flirting, fearful insecurities, and deceptions. It was a diverse bunch. Sometimes, between men, Nita would look at Hannah or one of the cousins to see how they were doing. Her view of Hannah was obscured by other speed daters in her line of sight. Gina studied her paper with her pencil in hand as if she was taking a final exam. Elle was leaning back in her chair, eyeing the next few prospects that were headed her way, evaluating them in advance. Nita had met a few interesting men, but, so far, none of them seemed promising.

During the last break, Nita left her assigned table to get a refill on punch. When she returned, she found an envelope on her chair. It was sealed and labeled with "Beautiful" in large but unfamiliar handwriting on the front. She looked around for who might have left it for her but no one seemed to be looking to see if she got it.

"Ding!" Break was over. Nita hid the envelope under her list as the first of her final set of daters approached.