The Rocker That Savors Me (The Rocker...) (26 page)

“I have a name I like.” Nik spoke up. He was leaning over Lana, unable to tear his eyes off his baby girl. “Can I name her?”

Emmie’s tears were quick to dry up. “Why didn’t you tell me you had a name you liked?”

He shrugged, sending her a sexy smile. “I wanted to wait, like you did. But now that I see her, I think the same fits.” He took the baby from Lana and brought her back over to Emmie. Gently he placed the now sleeping baby in her mother’s arms. “Mia.”

Emmie’s face lit up. “That’s perfect. I love it,” she whispered. “Mia Nicole Armstrong.”

Layla

I couldn’t lie. The weeks following Mia’s birth were not all sunshine and butterflies. If anything, they were hardcore nightmares at times. I loved Mia from the moment I laid eyes on her, but damn that little buddle of joy wasn’t exactly joyful at times.

Emmie had to spend nearly a week in the hospital. She had gotten out of bed too soon and popped her stitches
, but Mia ended up staying just as long. She ended up having jaundice so bad that she looked like an Umpa-Lumpa she was so orange. She spent two days under a light, which had made Emmie hysterical.

When mother and daughter were finally home
, things were great for the first day or so. Emmie was supposed to take it easy, no heavy lifting or being on her feet often. The baby was eating well and had gained weight already.  But she was on a day time sleep schedule after being under the bili light for so long. 

By the third day Emmie was exhausted. Mia wasn’t sleeping much at night
, and that meant that Emmie wasn’t either. Nik tried to help out as much as she would let him, but for some reason those two were arguing. Maybe it was because Emmie was going through some bad postpartum, or maybe it was because Nik had brought up the idea of getting married soon. I wasn’t sure, and I wasn’t about to ask. No yet at least.

One morning when I came over to start on breakfast
, I found Emmie sobbing at the kitchen sink. She had a bag of peas stuffed in her nursing bra, and her hair was a mess. I wasn’t too confident that she had showered in the last few days.

“Emmie, what’s wrong?” I
asked, pulling her into my arms.

“I’m a horrible mother
,” she cried, her tears soaking my shirt, and I was sure she was wiping snot on me. Not that I cared. Snot was nothing to the mess Mia had made on me the day before when she had had a very impressive dirty diaper. “All Mia does is cry. She would rather Nik hold her than me. She hates me.”

“Oh sweetie, Mia doesn’t hate you. She loves you to pieces.” I
rubbed my hands up and down her back, trying to soothe my friend. “You just think she does because your emotions are all over the place.” I pulled back enough to see Emmie’s face. There were dark circles under her eyes. “When’s the last time you slept, Em?”

“I can’t remember.
Maybe a few hours yesterday?”

I gripped her shoulders. “Listen to me Emmie. You are a great mother. That little girl is lucky to have someone that loves her as much as you do. But you have got to stop trying to be so strong. Ask for help. Ask the guys. Ask me!” When she had first gotten home from the hospital
, she had been determined to do it all on her own. I hadn’t wanted to step on her toes, so I had tried to stay out of the way, assuming that if Emmie really needed help she would speak up.

But the silly woman was far too stubborn for her own good.

Tears were pouring down Emmie’s pretty face. “I need help, Layla,” she sobbed. “I can’t do this. I fucking suck as a mother.”

“
You fucking rock as a mother!” I pulled her close again. “Everyone needs help in the beginning, honey.”

It took me a good half hour to calm her down enough that I was able to talk her into eating something. After she had eaten
, I helped her shower then tucked her into bed. The guys were back in the studio finishing up, so they hadn’t been home much during the day this week.

I took care of Mia for the rest of the day. I made sure that she was in a well lit room
, and I woke her often. Thankfully, Emmie had started pumping her breast milk, because I didn’t want to disturb her. The one time I had checked on her, she was in a deep sleep. It was probably the first restful sleep she had had since coming home from the hospital two weeks ago.

By the time Lucy was home
, Emmie was still sleeping, so I put Lucy in front of the television and started on dinner for everyone. Lana came home, but didn’t stay. She had finals coming up the few weeks after Thanksgiving so she was studying more often than not. As long as she passed all of her exams, she was going to graduate with honors. It was her last semester of high school, and she didn’t have to go back for anything except graduation.

Last week
, she had told me she had applied for early entrance to a few colleges. I knew she was going to get in, but I had no idea how I was going to afford the schools that she deserved to go to. I refused to ask Jesse for help. He was my boyfriend, not my money train.

--

Things got better over the next week. Emmie’s dark circles faded and she wasn’t as emotional as she had been. We transitioned Mia over to a night time sleep schedule and she was starting to sleep longer at night. It was getting easier for Emmie, and I was beyond relieved that the old Emmie was starting to shine through again.

The guys had finally finished all the recording they needed to do. I was happy to have them all around the house again
, and I loved getting to spend more time with Jesse. But I felt like something was up with him. He was acting strange, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was getting bored with me. But I was too scared to ask him what was going on.

The week after Thanksgiving
, I overheard Jesse and Emmie talking in her office. I was on my way to the laundry room and the door was closed, so I only heard part of their conversation. What I did hear made my heart crack.

“…Perfectly Clean said that they can have a new housekeeper here after Christmas
,” Emmie was saying.

“Will you be okay until then?” Jesse asked, sounding concerned.

“None of this is okay with me, Jesse. I don’t want you to go…”

“Emmie, I’m not going far. You know I can’t stay here. Not now.”

I heard them moving around inside and rushed down the hall to the laundry room before they found me eavesdropping. I tossed the basket of clothes on top of the dryer and leaned back against the closed door. My heart was racing, my throat tight and burning with tears.

It was true. He was going to break up with me. Emmie was already looking for a new housekeeper
, and Jesse was leaving. My heart clenched in a painful way, and my knees gave out. Slowly, I slid down the door hugging my knees to my chest as I silently cried. I was about to lose everything: my job, my home, my friends.

The guy that I loved…

Jesse

Things were put on hold for a few weeks after Mia came along.

I had hated to ask Emmie to help me when she had been so sick. Postpartum had been a real bitch
, but I was relieved to find my old Emmie coming back to me now. For a while, the world had seemed dark because she was lost in a maze of hormonally induced black emotions. We had Layla to thank for helping Emmie find her way back, and I think I was deeper in love with her because of it.

Once Emmie was back to her old self
, she started where she had left off. I didn’t even have to ask her about it. She just did what she did best and made things happen. Things were moving faster than I had expected, and I was worried that I was going to be leaving Emmie out in the cold when I left.

Even though she was helping me
, she didn’t want me to go, even if I was just going to be a few houses away. It hurt me just as much as it hurt her, but we both knew that it was time for me to move on. A house was not meant for two families. Now that she had hers, I needed to start my own.

“You can visit me every day
,” I promised her with a grin. “And you know I can’t go a day without seeing you, Em.”

Her chin trembled but she was smiling. “I’m glad you have Layla. I like seeing you so happy, Jess.”

I cocked a brow at her. “And how are you and Nik? Still arguing?”

She grimaced.
“A little.”

“Because you won’t marry him?”
Nik was chomping at the bit. He had asked her to marry him months ago, but she had said that they had to wait for the baby to arrive first. Now that Mia was here, Emmie still didn’t seem ready. I wasn’t sure what was holding her back. I knew that she loved Nik. I think I had known it before she had.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Jesse.” She stood and handed over the keys that she had gotten that morning. “It’s all ready for you.”

I took the keys and felt like the world was tilting on its axis. Tonight was the night. I was scared, anxious, and excited. I couldn’t wait to talk to Layla. Dropping a kiss on top of Emmie’s head, I left. I passed Lana and Drake in the kitchen, and without a word to either of them, I grabbed Lana and dragged her out of the house with me.

“Jesse!”

“It’s set. Do you want to see it or not?” I called over my shoulder as I headed for the beach.

Lana stopped struggling and hurried to keep up with me. I had told her Thanksgiving night what I was doing and swore her to secrecy. I guess in a way I had been asking Lana for permission. Maybe I should have asked Lucy too, because I was about to turn all our lives around. But I had been afraid the six year old would let the cat out of the bag and ruin my surprise.

Two houses later, I was jogging up the steps to my new home. Emmie had moved heaven and earth to find me a place as close to her as possible. I had only seen it once and had liked it well enough, but she was the one who had taken care of all the fine details: making the offer, getting everything sorted out, closing on the house. I wasn’t sure how I managed without Emmie and I hoped I never had to find out.

The house wasn’t as big as Emmie’s. Mine was only a four bedroom
. The family room was huge though, and had a beautiful view of the ocean. The kitchen had all new appliances, again thanks to Emmie. Other than the bare essentials, the house was empty because I wanted Layla to decorate our home.

“This is really happening
,” Lana murmured a while later after she had seen the whole house. “I mean, I knew that you were serious, but it didn’t feel real until right now.” She sighed. “I’m really glad that she fell for you, Jesse. As far as rockers go, you Demon’s Wings guys aren’t so bad.”

I laughed. “I’m glad you think so, sweetheart.”

She frowned. “Are you sure though? I mean…” She broke off, but I knew what was bothering her.

“I’m hoping to be your brother-in-law before long, Lana. That means that you are mine just as much as Layla’s. I want you to be happy. Just pick which college you want and give all the details to Emmie. She knows what to do.” When I had talked to Lana about my plans for the future
, I had told her that she didn’t have to worry about college. I wanted to make it happen for her.

She had gotten her acceptance letters to several colleges for early entrance. Stanford, UCLA, NYU
, the list seemed endless. Lana deserved the best education I could provide for her. I just hoped she didn’t destroy us all by picking NYU. I would miss her if she was all the way across the country, and I doubted that Drake would survive long with her that far away. Those two were closer than close. She was his best friend and vice versa. I could see for myself that Lana was hiding some strong emotions, but Drake was still determined that friends were all they would ever be.

“Have you decided?” She only had about a week before she had to get the ball rolling. Classes started in the middle of January and it was already December.

“I’ve narrowed it down.” She gave me a sly grin. “Don’t worry, rock star. I’ve got it under control. You have other things to think about. Like getting my sister to say ‘yes’.”

Layla

My heart was like a lead weight in my chest.

Leaving the laundry in the basket
, I left the main house. I was glad that Lucy was riding the bus home with a friend and spending the night. I didn’t have to worry about her right now. I didn’t want to think about Lucy or anything else. In fact, I was sure that my brain had shut down as some kind of defense mechanism so that I didn’t instantly shatter into a billion pieces.

As soon as I walked in the guesthouse I started tossing things around. If Jesse was breaking up with me, if Emmie was going to fire me
, then I needed to pack. Moving on autopilot, I pulled my suitcase from the closet in the bedroom and started packing all of our clothes. I had saved a good amount of money since September. It would hold us over until I found another job…

Tears spilled from my eyes without me realizing it. I didn’t want to find another job. I wanted the one where I got to be with the people I had grown to love…
people who obviously didn’t love me back!

Before I knew it
, the big suit case was full and the closet was bare. I zipped up the case and dragged it into the living room. After placing it by the door, I headed back into the bedroom. The front door opened and Drake walked in, surprising the hell out of me.