The Road to Redemption (45 page)

“No!”

“
Damien…”

“Damn you,
Damien!”

He jerked in
surprise, realizing he must have drifted off. Beth didn’t swear, so
who…?

“Damien
Masterson, open the effing door before I kick it down.”

Sam? He
stumbled out of bed still half asleep and jerked the door open.

“About
time.”

Sam Harper
stood before him bundled up in a chunky sweater, jeans and high
boots. Her cheeks were red from the cold and bits of her dark hair
poked out from beneath the knit cap she had on her head. He blinked
not believing she was really there, despite the fact that the scent
of leather and spice was already twining its way around him.

“Are you going
to let me in?” She didn’t wait for an answer, pushing past him.

“Sure. Come on
in.” He shut the door and then leaned against it, arms folded
across his chest.

She looked
around the room. “I’ve seen worse…except for that painting.”

A smile tugged
the corner of his mouth. “I assume you’re here to see me and not to
critique the décor.”

“Damned right.
I wouldn’t be caught dead here in the winter otherwise. Chicago’s
bad enough.”

“Some people
like the snow.”

“And some
people are stupid. It takes all kinds, right?” She pulled the cap
off her head and tossed it onto the bed.

A huff of
laughter escaped him and he pushed off from the door. “What do you
need me for?’

“Dante is
still at large.”

Damien
narrowed his eyes. “Is he bothering you?”

“No. I haven’t
heard from him since you left. Neither has my grandfather or Mr.
Marcello.”

“Marcello? You
found out about that?”

“Yeah. The
whole story came out, so Dante really doesn’t have a hold over us
anymore.”

“That’s good.
So…” He let his voice trail off and quirked a brow at her.

“When you
left, I told Reno Smith—that observer from OPATA—about Dante. Lycan
Link will be on the lookout for him. He’s a prime suspect in an
information leak they’ve been having.”

Damien nodded.
That wasn’t news to him, but it was good that Lycan Link would now
be on Dante’s case.

Silence fell
between them. Damien waited for her to make the next move. He could
apologize for deceiving her and her pack, but what was the point.
She’d once said she hated liars and that was the story of his life.
Sam shoved her hands in her back pockets and rocked on her heels,
appearing uncharacteristically unsure of herself.

“Should we
discuss the weather?” He finally suggested.

The look she
gave him would have made lesser Lycans quake. As it was, he felt an
amused smile twitch the corner of his mouth.

She gave an
exasperated huff. “Look, I didn’t come all this way to give you an
update on Dante.”

“I didn’t
figure you did. By the way, how did you find me?”

“Sinclair told
me.”

That caught
his attention. “You’ve been in contact with Kane? Is he still
trying to take over? It isn’t allowed, you know. According to—”

Sam shook her
head. “No. I contacted him. We’ve been talking. Trying to come to
some sort of workable agreement.” She began to walk about the room,
straightening the picture on the wall, glancing out the window.
“He’s going to sublet some of my territory. We’re thinking of a
twenty year lease. My pack can use the money. I’ll help oversee his
wolves. Any pups born in the area will have the option of becoming
members of my pack.”

“It sounds
like it might work.”

“There are
still a few things we need to hash out, but it should be mutually
beneficial to both of our packs.”

“I’m glad you
found a solution.” He cocked his head to the side. “But I still
don’t understand why you’re here.”

“Because…” She
paused and ran her hand through her hair before scowling at him.
“Dammit, Damien, you screwed me and my pack over. You were trying
to make us pay for the sins of the past and it wasn’t fair. I can
understand where you were coming from—Sinclair explained how you
got involved and I guess I can forgive you for that—but we cared
about you.
I
cared about you and as much as I hate to admit
it, I miss you.” She planted her hands on her hips and looked him
up and down. “You’re damned annoying. Your sense of humour makes me
want to strangle you, but you’re also sexy as hell and made a
kick-ass Beta.”

Damien froze,
unsure of how to respond.

“Say
something, dammit! I need to know if this is only on my side or not
because I refuse to spend the rest of my life living with ‘what
ifs’ running through my head.” Her cheeks were flushed by the time
she’d finished speaking.

“I…”

“I know you
were mated. I know about Beth. I’ve researched the story.” She
pursed her lips and seemed to be choosing her words carefully.
“What happened to you was horrible. You had your whole life torn
apart. But I don’t believe you were meant to live the rest of your
life alone.” She stepped closer to him. “You’re a good man, Damien.
You care about people. Yes, you have that rogue side, but that
doesn’t mean you can never be happy.”

He looked
away. Her words were so familiar. Hadn’t Beth said similar things
to him?

“When we had
sex…were you just feeling horny?”

“I…” He wanted
to say yes, that it had meant nothing. That, in the heat of the
moment, he’d been overcome by lust. And while that was partly true,
there’d been a part of him… Swallowing hard, he forced the words
from his lips. “I really care about you, Sam. I…” He couldn’t make
himself say the feeling that was in his heart, but when he looked
down into her eyes, he once again felt the pull between them.

He cupped her
face, stroking his thumb over her cheek. She turned her head
slightly, her lips grazed his palm. The light touch shot up his
arm, to his heart and then his groin. A growl rumbled in his chest
and she stepped closer, her body brushing against his.

“Things happen
for a reason, Damien. Reasons we can’t begin to understand. There’s
a reason for this…” She raised herself up and pressed a kiss to his
mouth.

At first, he
did nothing, feeling the softness of her lips moving against his,
the warmth, the sweetness. When the tip of her tongue teased the
seam of his mouth he couldn’t resist and opened, allowing her to
probe deeper, allowing himself to respond.

It was gentle
and tender; exploring, testing, to see how deep the feeling went.
He pulled her closer, slowly sliding his arms around her, running
one hand up her spine to hold the back of her head.

Sam’s hands
rested lightly on his shoulders, caressing then clutching, sliding
to grip his back. He groaned as she lightly raked his flesh then
cupped his ass, kneading, pulling him closer.

They sank down
onto the bed. Sam pushed his shoulders against the mattress,
trailing kisses over his jaw, sucking on his earlobe, awakening a
spark inside him. The feel of her hot, moist breath caused him to
shudder in need. Her weight pressed down on his aching flesh, every
move she made caused him to grow harder.

She nipped his
chin then braced herself, hands on his shoulders and stared down at
him. “This is how I feel, Damien. This is what I want, what I need
from you. I fought against it these past three months, telling
myself to let you go. I can’t. We have so much in common, do you
really believe we weren’t meant to be together?”

He looked up
at her, taking in her flushed face, the determined set of her chin,
the intensity of her gaze. He slid his hands up her arms and cupped
her face. Did he have the right to love her? Did he even dare?
“Everything I’ve ever cared about—loved—has been taken from me.
It’s like I’m punished each time I dare to dream.”

“Life is a
risk, Damien. If you don’t reach out and grab what you want, you
might as well give up.”

He looked
away. “I’ve thought of that, tried it. Giving up, I mean. Beth
wouldn’t let me.”

“Then I have
to thank her for that.” Sam brushed his hair from his forehead and
then relaxed down on top of him, her head resting on his chest,
encasing him in her warmth. “Never give up, Damien.”

Slowly,
tentatively, he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. She
nestled in and he rested his chin on top of her head, listening to
her steady breathing. It was comforting to have someone close like
this, to feel their warmth seep into you... A sigh escaped him and
he closed his eyes, intent on enjoying the moment.

At some point,
he must have fallen asleep for when he awoke the room was in
darkness. Sam was curled up at his side, the blanket pulled over
the both of them. She felt small and delicate in his arms, but he
knew she wasn’t. There was a strong spirit inside her, a
willingness to fight for what she wanted. Beth had been a lot like
that; bravely reaching out to explore the Lycan side of her
heritage despite the opposition of her family.

Beth.

Was she upset,
seeing him holding Sam like this?

He carefully
got up, tucked the blankets around Sam and walked to the
window.

“Are you
there, Beth?” He whispered the words as he stared outside.

The sky was
the inky purple of night with an almost full moon gracing its
expanse. Below, the ground was covered in white, the snow
glistening in the chilly air. A yellow glow came from the windows
of some of the houses, and beyond them the silhouettes of pine
trees could be seen standing guard over the small town. It was a
picturesque scene yet cold and lonely as if the world were frozen
and waiting.

“Beth? Are you
there, Beth?”

She didn’t
answer. His breath fogged the glass and he wiped it away with his
hand, once more summoning her, using all his will to bring her back
to him. Finally, faintly, he heard her voice.

“
It’s time,
Damien.”

“Time for
what?”

“
To move
on.”

She smiled at
him, her love shining in her eyes. He was sure he could feel the
whisper soft touch of her fingers stroking his face. His eyes
drifted shut and he tried to lean into her hand, but there was
nothing solid to connect with except the coldness of the
windowpane.

“
You aren’t
alone now. I never want you to be alone. I’ve stayed longer than I
should—“

“Beth…” His
heart began to hammer; fear, something akin to panic, taking over
him. He knew what was coming. Knew it had to be, yet still he
protested. “Beth, no! You can’t. I want to go with you.”

Her image
shimmered before him, translucent and ethereal, the stars seeming
to align to recreate her beautiful face in the night sky.

“
No. It’s
not your destiny. You have another road to follow.”

“But—”

“
I have to
go now. Your destiny is here, but mine isn’t. I love you, Damien.
I’ll always love you. Never forget…to love…”
The words faded
into a whisper, the image dimmed and then… there was nothing.

Emptiness
swept over him, as if a vacuum had sucked every bit of life, warmth
and hope from his soul, leaving him in a black void.

She was gone
and he was alone.

He gripped the
window frame, feeling the hard unyielding wood beneath his fingers,
the cold draft seeping into his body, numbing his flesh. If it
could only numb the unbearable pain that was growing in his
heart.

In a movie,
all would be silent, but life wasn’t a movie. It didn’t stop simply
because one person felt as if they were dying inside, because a
heart had shattered, or a soul had been ripped to shreds.

From the bar
below, he could hear the thumping of a drum and the muffled voice
of a singer. A car drove down the street, the tires hissing in the
slush. The door to the bar opened and patrons spilled into the
street talking and laughing, unaware of the devastated man above
them.

“Beth?”

He tried one
last time, a whispered plea, praying for mercy from the heartless
gods that had forced this fate upon him.

There was no
answer.

His Beth
really was gone.

His body
started to tremble as he fought for control, his eyes felt hot, his
vision blurred. Fiercely, he blinked, firming his chin, staring
straight ahead, unseeing. All the grief, all the tears he’d never
let fall were now threatening to break free, and if he let even one
escape…

Warm hands
touched his arm, turned him around. Soft fingers brushed his
cheek.

“Damien?” Sam
was staring up at him, her eyes filled with worry. “What’s wrong?
Are you sick?”

He shook his
head, unable to answer, his throat too tight with emotion.

Concern etched
her face and she led him back to bed. He moved woodenly, forcing
his legs to take each step. She made him lie down and wrapped her
arms around him, pressing his head to her chest. Gently, she ran
her fingers through his hair. “Tell me.”

He tried to
speak, struggled to make his mouth form the words. “Beth. My Beth…
She’s gone.” Unable to hold on any longer, he sank into Sam’s arms,
sobs wracking his body as the pain he’d carried for so long was
finally released.

Sam held him,
rocked him, whispered platitudes and nonsense as she cried along
with the man she loved. She cried for him and for herself, his
sorrow giving her permission to vent her own pain.

She cried for
the father she’d lost and the mother who’d left her behind, for the
hurt she’d kept hidden over never living up to her grandfather’s
expectations. For the times she had to put the pack ahead of her
own needs, for the doubts and fears, the weariness and loneliness
that only an Alpha could know. And she cried over Damien’s lies and
deceit and her hopes for the future; hopes that might be dashed
because of his love for a dead woman.