The Road Home (19 page)

‘So now what? Have we let it get away? Please tell me we didn’t risk our lives for nothing?’

‘No. Ned would have made sure the break along the fence was good and, if anything, we bought him some time to make sure the job was done.’

Lara stood up and tried to stretch her legs in the cab while Jack got back on the two-way to let Evan know they were okay and check for more instructions. Lara didn’t listen to Evan’s reply. She was too busy gazing out the hot window and wondering about the feelings that had clearly been passing between them.

When they got back to their temporary base, Jack put the grader back on the low loader and then they joined the crowd. The fire had been contained within the reserve patch of bush, and everyone
was standing around a ute on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere as the sun descended and the smoke lingered. Their faces were worn, their clothes blackened and reeking of smoke, but once everyone had a beer in their hand their smiles reappeared. Clearly someone had made the run to the pub to make sure all the volunteers were rewarded with a drink. Jack reached into the carton, pulled out two beers and handed one to Lara. Her smile was worth every scary moment they’d just experienced.

The men standing around were all vying for some of her attention, asking her how she was going on the farm and whether she needed any help.

‘Thanks, but I’m coping just fine at the moment. Well, I was until today, anyway,’ she joked.

Then the questions came quick and fast.

‘How hot did it get?’ asked Evan.

‘Was there smoke in the cab?’ asked Brett.

‘Bloody hot,’ Lara replied and glanced at Jack. ‘But Jack was so calm. I was just about hysterical.’

Jack wouldn’t openly admit it, but the last half hour had scared the hell out of him too. As one of the boys passed him another beer, he watched Lara out of the corner of his eye. She knew how to hold a crowd, that was for sure. In fact, she was entirely mesmerising and they all wanted to hear the story from her. He thought back to the fire, with her so close, how she’d felt pressed against him. Just thinking about it got his heart racing like a mad goanna. Heck, she was like the flames themselves, burning underneath his skin.

LARA watched Jack shake hands with Brett and say goodbye to everyone before heading back towards her. He was an imposing sight, covered in ash and dirt with the orange glow of the setting sun behind him. For the life of her, she couldn’t look away. There was just something about Jack. And it wasn’t only his sexy swagger, his strong, toned physique or the mysterious glimmer to his green eyes. It was much more than that. Something he kept hidden.

‘I don’t know about you, but I could use another drink,’ he said, holding his empty bottle.

‘Well, come back to the shed. The beer fridge is full and I owe you a few.’ He was about to protest but she cut him off. ‘Look, you didn’t have to take me along, and I really appreciate you passing on your knowledge. You have no idea what it means to me, to be prepared. I want to be able to protect Erindale. I’m here for the long haul, Jack.’ She knew that no one had expected her to tough it out, except perhaps Marge and Trent. But none of them knew her. Not really.

‘Okay. Who can refuse a few beers? It just wouldn’t be the manly thing to do.’

By the time they got back to the shed, the sun was just sinking below the horizon, casting dark shadows across the open landscape. They sat on the tray of Jack’s ute with fresh beers in their hands, watching the last of the sunset. The fire had added an extra ginger glow to the sky, which merged with the setting sun to create bright crimson streaks. The black silhouettes of the trees stood out against the colour.

‘Now, that’s just magic. It looks like the fire is still burning its way along the horizon. I forgot how beautiful each sunset is. No wonder this was Dad’s favourite spot at the end of the day.’

‘Yeah, not a bad life from this point of view, is it?’ Jack said, smiling at her.

Jack smiling, especially at her, was something to behold. It transformed his face, and by God, he was irresistible. Lara thought back to the fire, when he’d been aroused. Was it just the intensity of the situation, a normal male reaction to a woman sitting on his lap, or could he really have deeper feelings for her?

While he was in such a good mood and the liquor was flowing freely, she asked him about other fires he’d been to and some of the ambulance jobs he’d attended. She was surprised by his long replies.

‘We got a call in and were first on site for Ned Graften’s crash. He’d gone to sleep and hit a big gum on the Lakes road. Bloody mess. He was alive, but only just, and we couldn’t help him until the rescue boys cut him out. So we did what we could and just sat there with him as he passed away.’ Jack spoke somehow distantly,
as if almost removed from the memory. He swallowed hard before continuing. ‘Took me a long time to get over that. I still break out in sweats every time we get a call-out,’ he said, before closing his mouth quickly as if he’d let something slip.

‘How do you keep doing it, then? Why?’ Lara really didn’t know whether she would have it in her to handle such scenes, after losing her parents on the road. But here was Jack, saving lives even after surviving his own accident and seeing what her parents’ crash had done to Noah.

Jack’s eyes glowed in the fading light. ‘You try not to focus on the negatives, the loss. You keep going for the ones you can save. I hang on to the thought of all those we keep alive. Your parents’ crash was the first I’d ever seen and … and I guess it stayed with me.’ Jack ran his finger down the length of his scar. ‘Not to mention my own accident, but you already know about that.’ He closed his eyes and paused.

‘It’s a big scar. Must have been a scary crash?’ Finally she had the chance to ask him some questions.

‘They had to cut me out. I spent a heap of time in hospital, all bent out of shape. I had surgery for this,’ he motioned to the scar. ‘And I was all alone. No family and no real friends. I was angry and thought the world was out to get me back then.’ Jack poured it out in a rush as if it was a long-held secret.

‘Yeah, well, you wouldn’t be alone in that department, Jack. None of us are perfect. We can all lose ourselves to our emotions and become people we don’t want to be.’ Lara thought of Noah, and even of herself, dating Nic and living in the city. You didn’t have to be immature to make mistakes or get into trouble. ‘But
what counts is how we change from our mistakes, and move on and make the best of what we have.’

He nodded in agreement.

‘Do you mind if I ask about your family? Bec’s so lovely. You’re lucky to have her, but she said you don’t talk to your father?’

Jack rubbed his neck as he spoke. ‘Not being able to stay on the farm back then hurt me, and I was a teenager, so everything seemed so much more devastating at that time.’

‘I can imagine. I didn’t want to leave the farm either but it must have been much worse for you, being a boy. You guys usually get the farm.’

He turned to Lara. ‘I didn’t realise you wanted to stay on the farm?’

‘Oh, yes. I loved it out here but it was predetermined that I would go away for school. My parents had a different path for me and, being the good daughter, I followed it.’ She laughed a little. ‘You know, the funny thing is, after all these years, I’ve only just realised how much I really didn’t enjoy it. I was working my butt off for other people. It just didn’t seem fulfilling.’ She took a sip of her beer. ‘But out here, I feel like I’m accomplishing so much … and on my own. And it feels so rewarding, so powerful. I’m doing it all for me, Jack, not for anyone else. Doing what I really wanted to be doing in the first place.’

Jack thought for a moment, letting her words sink in. ‘Hmm.’

‘What?’

‘Your friend Mel was right. You’re not the person I thought you were. I had you pinned on heading back to the city. But I don’t think you were ever a city girl deep down. I don’t know how I missed it.’ He chuckled.

‘Could have been my high heels?’

‘Actually, I got you something.’ Jack went to his ute and fished around behind his seat. He walked back with a brand-new pair of leather Blundstone boots. He handed them to her. ‘You can’t use Noah’s old pair forever.’

Lara didn’t know what to say. It was the most touching gesture and in a way it felt like she finally deserved them. ‘Oh, Jack, thanks. They’re wonderful. More amazing than any high heels I’ve ever bought.’ She touched the yellow tag with ‘Blundstone’ written across it and felt adulation. The leather was shiny and new. She couldn’t wait till they looked used and worn-in. ‘Thanks a lot, Jack. This is special.’

He shrugged it off as she put the boots straight on, chucking Noah’s old ones towards the shed.

After a few seconds she decided it was safe to ask another probing question. She wanted to learn more about Jack. So much unexplored territory. ‘So, your dad just told you to leave the farm? What did you do?’

Jack sipped his beer, giving himself time to think. ‘I was upset when it sank in that I couldn’t stay, but Dad had organised a job for me at another farm. I had nothing else going for me, no other work, so I went. Six months I spent there, getting mentally, verbally and physically abused.’ He paused and took a steadying breath. ‘That bastard had me so shit-scared.’

‘Jesus, Jack. Why didn’t you tell your parents?’ Lara said, horrified.

‘Oh, I rang Dad when I was finally able to get to the phone. That bastard had it locked away. But Dad, well, he thought I
was just overreacting, like I had over the farm. He told me to toughen up and do my job. He didn’t believe me and I guess to me that was the biggest betrayal of all.’ He took another long drink from his beer.

Lara felt the sadness of it engulf her. ‘So what happened then?’

‘He broke my leg towards the end, after a sheep had died and he blamed me for it. He was slipping up, as usually I’d just be bruised by the back end of the shovel or a lump of wood. But that time he went too far,’ Jack said, his voice thick with emotion. ‘The bastard tried to get me to walk and when I couldn’t, he dropped me at the hospital, spinning some yarn to the doctors about me falling off the bike. He threatened me not to tell or else I’d never be paid. But the look in his eye spoke of much more punishment. So once I could leave the hospital I caught the first flight over to WA. I had a mate from school who came over too and I ran around with him for a while, chasing work. Eventually I ended up here and you know the rest.’

‘Gee, Jack, that’s some story to hold on to. And you never called your dad again?’

Jack scratched at the short stubble on his jaw. ‘Nope. I held the phone a few times, dialled the number, but I could never go through with it. I haven’t been able to get past it.’

Bec’s words came back to Lara. No wonder she hadn’t wanted to tell her. It was Jack’s pain to share.

They sat in silence. Lara was lost for words, her mind too busy swimming with the thought of an eighteen-year-old, fresh out of school, losing the thing he wanted most and then putting up with such abuse, only to run off to Australia to hide.

Lara thought it was time to lighten the mood. ‘God, I still can’t believe that fire today. That is something I’ll never forget.’

‘Me either,’ Jack groaned, relief about the change of subject evident in his voice.

Lara swung her legs back and forth under the tray of the ute as the last of the adrenaline was taken over by a happy, warm buzz from the beer.

‘Do you feel like you belong here?’ she asked. ‘Or is your heart still in New Zealand, back on the farm? I can’t imagine what it’d be like moving to another country.’

Jack shrugged. ‘I had no choice,’ he said gruffly in that all-too-familiar way. He caught her stare and held it. It was filled with emotion, torment and an obvious internal struggle. He dropped his eyes to her lips, cleared his throat and ripped his eyes away.

‘What was it like?’ she asked.

‘The farm? It was just beautiful, Lara. I woke up in the mornings dying to get outside, to be a part of it. It was my home, and my passion. I wanted to work the farm so bad, assumed I’d be there alongside Dad and Matthew. But the farm just wasn’t big enough for all of us. Matthew was the oldest, and seeing as though he had been working it for six years longer than me, he got to stay. It was how it was.’ He shrugged. ‘Much like Noah getting Erindale.’

‘Yeah, except I knew that’s how it was going to go down. Didn’t your dad ever warn you, guide you towards something else?’

‘Ha. You know, now I think back I do recall him trying to get me to do a trade, but I was never interested, never thought of anything
else for a minute.’ Jack scoffed. ‘I was too stubborn to realise that Dad was probably trying to let me know then.’

Lara let a laugh escape, then covered her mouth. ‘Sorry, Jack, but you are stubborn, as am I.’ She jumped off the tray, putting space between them. Pointing a finger at him, she continued. ‘But you know, I could see through your gruff exterior, Jack Morgan. I could see that underneath, you really are a nice, caring bloke.’

Jack laughed her off. ‘I think you’ve had more than your quota of beer.’ He reached out to try to take it off her. She smacked her hand down on his leg.

‘No, I’m serious. I think I’ve worked you out, Jack. Deep down you really do care. You care for Noah, you’ve helped me out when I’ve needed it, against your will, and you don’t volunteer for the ambos or firies if you don’t care. And I think I know why you’ve been avoiding me.’

Jack jumped down from the tray. ‘Yeah, yeah, whatever,’ he said, fetching another two beers from the fridge.

Lara turned on the radio in Jack’s ute, and cranked up ‘Jack and Diane’ before joining him back up on the tray. The sun was no longer up, but the full moon was casting enough light for them to see.

‘So, when did you get this done?’ Lara traced the pattern of ink on Jack’s arm. She felt his muscles tense beneath her touch.

‘A year after I left.’ His voice was strained.

‘I have one too.’

‘Really?’

Lara threw her head back and laughed. ‘Don’t sound so surprised, Jack.’

‘Well, come on. Can I see it, or is it too risqué?’ His eyes swam with intensity.

Lara put her beer down and leant back on the tray. She hooked a finger in the top of her shorts and pulled them down on the left side, under her hip bone.

Jack leant over, his finger poised to touch the tattoo. She saw his hand shake and he quickly drew it back. ‘Chinese symbols? What do they mean?’

‘This is for Eternity and this one is Family,’ she said, touching each small tattoo.

Jack’s eyes found hers. ‘Which you got around seven years ago, right?’ he asked tenderly.

Lara tilted her head slightly and smiled. She wondered when it was that she and Jack had ended up on the same level. At what stage had he been able to read her as well as she could read him? He looked so darn hot that she just wanted to touch him. The desire to touch him, to kiss him, had never been like this … or had it?

Jack took a long sip. His head rested back and his Adam’s apple bounced up and down with each swallow. She wondered whether the skin on his neck, if she kissed it, would taste smoky.

‘You drink like a camel. There’s no way I can keep up with you,’ she stuttered to hide her wayward thoughts.

‘It’s thirsty work putting out fires in this heat.’

Lara launched herself off the back of the tray, leaving her beer behind, as a new song started up on the radio. ‘Oh my God, I love this old song.’ She began singing the words to Men at Work’s ‘Down Under’.

Jack laughed as she danced around in the dirt, the moonlight
picking up the dust particles like shimmering glitter. ‘I don’t think that they’re the right words,’ he said teasingly. ‘Were you even born when this was released?’

‘Just. You’re not that much older than me, you know.’ She wiggled her shoulders, bopped her head around, and kicked up more dust with her boots. ‘You gonna come join me?’ She sidled up to Jack and wiggled in front of him.

He laughed and put down his beer on the tray. ‘You’re making a big enough fool for the both of us.’

Lara couldn’t read his eyes in the semi-darkness but the moon was reflecting off them and she could see the spark. She shuffled closer, the tiny hairs on her skin pricking up like a porcupine. Everything about Jack was luring her to him. How could she resist him, the hero of the day who on more than one occasion had been her saviour and protector? Her nerve endings danced with the yearning to kiss him, to touch his thick, tempting lips. She edged closer.