The Road Home (14 page)

LARA had resisted the urge to ring Noah straightaway. ‘Never do things while you’re hot-headed,’ her father always used to say. So she’d given herself a few days to think, to find a way to approach him. It was harder than she’d thought. Small parts of her still refused to believe it. She was on a rollercoaster ride of feeling sick and fighting with herself. She felt like a bad sister for not being there for Noah, almost as if she were somehow responsible. Maybe if she’d been here sooner, none of this would have happened. Her mind raced over and over it.

She fed Gretel and tended to her wounds. Gretel now called for her feed, which was a positive sign. The missing flesh near her jaw still looked gruesome but the lamb’s injuries only made Lara love her that much more. Despite what she’d been dealt, and all that she’d been through, Gretel was still a normal little lamb whose tail flicked as she drank. Lara played with Gretel for a while, but she knew she couldn’t put off calling Noah forever. Even now, she still didn’t want to believe that he had been
squandering the farm money. She was still hopeful. Or was she just being delusional?

Her heart rose up into her throat as she dialled his number and waited for him to answer.

‘Y’ello,’ said Noah, his voice carefree.

‘Hey, Noah. It’s just me. How’re things going?’

‘All good. Just got back from fixing a busted trough. How about you?’

‘Well …’ Her hands began to shake. ‘I could be better. I had a bit of a run-in with a bloke called Aaron. He says you owe him money.’ Her ears ached with the pounding of her blood. There was an awkward silence on the other end of the line, so Lara pressed on. ‘He tried to steal our welder off the farm.’

‘What?’

She took a deep breath. ‘So … you wanna tell me about that?’ Lara could hear Noah sigh. ‘Look, Noah, a few people have been saying you’ve been gambling. If that’s true, you should have told me. This Aaron bloke’s not very nice.’

‘He hasn’t hurt you, has he?’

‘No, but he wants his money. All two grand of it. Jesus, Noah!’

‘It’s nothing to worry about, sis. I’ll call Aaron today and sort it out. Don’t worry your precious head over it. It was only a small poker game. I was just having a bad run.’

‘Noah, is this a problem? Is this why you haven’t been able to account for the missing sums of money? We’re talking big dollars there, you know. Tell me honestly, have you gambled all that money too?’

‘No, sis. Course not. It’s not a problem, I told you. Lots of
people gamble for fun. Didn’t you know farming’s a gamble? What I’m doing isn’t much different.’

‘Noah, that’s not telling me where this fifty grand went,’ she huffed.

‘What do you want me to do?’ he said angrily. ‘Want me to send you up a cheque for fifty grand then, and be done with it? ’Cos I don’t have the time to spend on this shit. I’m trying to learn all this stuff with cattle, and I’ve got a wedding to organise, in case you hadn’t noticed. I really don’t need this right now.’

‘Noah, sending me a cheque isn’t going to solve the problem of where the money went! I don’t care about the bloody money! If you’ve really gambled all that away, then you need help. Seriously. That isn’t normal, Noah,’ she said, raising her voice as if it would help get through to him. ‘There’s a huge difference between blowing a few hundred on a card game and losing fifty thousand off the farm’s bottom line.’

‘You don’t know what you’re talking about, Lara. Just give it a rest, will you?’

‘Jesus, Noah. Are you in denial or what? What does Amanda think about all this?’

‘Hey, you leave her out of this,’ he growled.

‘Noah, if this is a problem, I can help you and so can Amanda,’ Lara said, trying to reason with him.

‘I mean it, Lara. Just drop it. Don’t be a bitch. This is no one’s business but mine, and I don’t want anything upsetting Amanda with less than three months till the wedding.’

Tears of hurt and anger burnt Lara’s eyes. ‘It is too my business. You’re my brother. Let me help you.’

‘Don’t you get it? I don’t need any help. There is
nothing
wrong with me. Look, I’ll transfer the money across tomorrow and I’ll sort out Aaron. You should be worrying about the sheep and getting ready for seeding.’ His voice sounded detached and cold. ‘I’ve gotta go.’

‘Noah?’

‘Bye, Lara,’ he said forcefully, and hung up.

She dropped her head into her hands and tried to make sense of Noah’s ramblings. He’d been so defensive and argumentative, but hadn’t been able to provide any reassuring answers to her questions. Losing fifty grand from the farm was bad enough, but if Noah had an addiction, then this might just be the start of things. How long before he lost the money he had from the Perth house too? How long before all the money sitting in his account tempted him into blowing some of it? How long before it was all gone? What if it got to the point that it affected Brunamar too? His wife and his whole future could be on the line.

Lara did the only thing she thought she could do. She picked up the phone and dialled Amanda’s mobile.

‘Hey, Amanda. Where are you?’

‘Lara, my soon-to-be sister-in-law! I’m just in town collecting some supplies … and having a latte and some cheesecake.’ She giggled down the phone. ‘Don’t tell Dad or Noah or I’ll lose the courier run.’

‘Wouldn’t dare,’ Lara said. Her conscience was in turmoil but she couldn’t just turn a blind eye. ‘Look, Mandy, there’s something serious I need to talk to you about. Have you got a few minutes to spare?’

‘Sure, Lara. What’s up?’ Amanda’s tone turned sober.

‘It’s about Noah. I’m not really a hundred per cent sure, and it might be nothing, so don’t get too worried yet, but I understand he’s been gambling.’

‘Oh, yeah. I know. He loves it. Every time we go to Perth he’s off to the casino and he loves his poker nights.’

‘But I think it’s become serious. He obviously keeps playing until he has no money left. He owes a guy here two grand, and I’ve a feeling that’s not all.’

‘Two grand?’ Amanda spluttered. ‘He’s never bet more that a few hundred … Well, that’s what he’s told me. Are you sure?’

‘I wouldn’t be ringing you if I wasn’t. Look, I just talked to him and he’s pretty pissed off with me. He didn’t want me to call you or mention any of this. But I’m really worried about him, and I thought you had a right to know. If you could keep an eye on your money … just see if anything unexplained goes missing?’

‘Yeah, sure.’

Amanda sounded shocked and uncertain. Hell, Lara thought. She felt exactly the same way.

‘I’m so sorry to burden you with this, but hopefully together we can try and sort something out.’

‘Let’s hope it doesn’t get to that, Lara. He’s busy with the farm now.’ Amanda sounded optimistic but Lara knew he’d been busy on Erindale too, and that obviously hadn’t stopped him.

When they hung up, Lara did feel a little better. At least she wasn’t dealing with this alone now.

She heard the rumble of a truck and remembered that the super was being delivered today. Noah had already told the truckie where
to dump the fertiliser, so Lara didn’t need to run out and deal with it. She wasn’t in the mood for anything other than a block of chocolate and a feel-good movie, but that would have to wait. Mel was coming down on the weekend and she was so looking forward to having her bubbly best friend around for company. Mel would be able to check out Gretel and help with the other lambs, too.

For the first time in a few days, Lara smiled. She grabbed her hat and, with renewed enthusiasm, headed off to check the sheep.

Later that night, Lara realised she’d forgotten to call the contractor, who was waiting for her to let him know when the fertiliser arrived. She put in a quick call and, luckily for her, he was able to start on Friday. After a shower, Lara settled into the kitchen to rustle up some dinner.

The phone rang while she was halfway through eating her lasagne.

‘Hello?’

‘I told you not to tell Amanda anything,’ growled Noah. ‘How dare you go behind my back and upset my relationship for no reason.’ Lara opened her mouth to protest but he kept ranting. ‘You didn’t care about me when you shipped off back to the city after Mum and Dad died, so I sure as hell don’t want you sticking your nose in now where it doesn’t belong.’

Tears threatened at the harshness in her brother’s voice. She’d never heard him so angry and hurtful. ‘Noah, I’m only trying to help —’

‘Just piss off out of my life, and mind your own business from now on.’

And then he hung up. She stared at the phone in disbelief as the tone beeped loudly. She immediately tried to call him back but he didn’t answer. She tried Amanda’s mobile and it also rang out.

‘Damn it.’ She looked at her half-eaten dinner and felt sick. She took the leftovers outside for Dippa and Roy, then tried ringing Noah again. Still no reply.

She tried to watch a bit of TV, but couldn’t concentrate. At nine-thirty she decided to head to bed. Her mobile was blinking on her bedside table. It was a message from Amanda.

Sorry. Shit has hit the fan. Best just leave him to cool down. I’ll get in touch later x

Well, that was better than nothing. As she lay back on her pillow, branches and loose tin scraped against the house in the wind in a symphony of the night. It was enough to finally lull Lara to sleep.

By the following morning, Lara was cursing last night’s wind.

It was a crisp, clear morning and normally she’d be feeling excited and ready to start a new day. But now she stood at the foot of her three-hundred-dollars-a-tonne pile of super, which was half the size it had been. A few inches of it had spread through the nearby fence and paddock. She let rip with a mouthful of expletives, sending both dogs running.

‘I’m sorry, boys,’ she said and called them back for a pat. Why, oh why, couldn’t she have lady luck on her side, just for once? Jack would have a field day with this.

Lara’s brain ached, the agony of yesterday still lingering, as she tried to figure out what to do. One thing was for sure – she
couldn’t ignore it. Time to figure out how to drive the old loader. Inside the shed sat the old, faded yellow Chamberlain loader. It had a big rust-covered metal bucket on the front and huge wheels. She’d only driven it once or twice before, when she’d been home for school holidays.

When she finally managed to start it, she reversed very carefully out of the shed and had a quick play with the hydraulics. Once she’d figured out the levers, she headed to the mess with a shovel and a broom stowed in the bucket. The best plan of action, she decided, was to make lines the width of the bucket so it was easier to shovel the fertiliser in. With her lack of experience, using the loader to pick up the fertiliser would be way too hard; she’d just end up spreading it further or digging up dirt. Ten, twenty, thirty, forty – she kept count of her shovel loads as she scooped the super into the big loader bucket and wished she had her iPod. After a while she lost count and stopped to catch her breath. Flexing out her cramped hands, she saw a few splinters lodged in her palm from the shovel. The sun had moved up in the sky and was getting hotter by the second. With a huge sigh, Lara picked up the shovel, bent her already sore back and started scooping. She was over halfway through picking up what she could salvage when Marge arrived.

‘Oh, dear.’ Marge put her hands on her hips and stood next to Lara as she wiped the sweat from her brow and rubbed her blistered hands against her shorts. Not just one blister. She had about three on each hand, but she was determined to ignore the pain. Soon they would toughen up.

‘I know, I know. Thought I’d better gather up what I could. This stuff costs an arm and a leg.’

‘You must be exhausted.’ Marge took the shovel from Lara and began to scoop some of the super from the ground into the loader bucket.

‘Marge, stop that. Give me the shovel back before you do yourself an injury.’

Marge didn’t pause as she spoke, her movements strong and sure. ‘As I keep telling Trent, just because I’m old, doesn’t mean I’m dead yet. I’m quite capable of shovelling for a while. How else do you think I keep fit and healthy?’

Lara couldn’t do anything except watch Marge carefully shovel up the small pile she’d collected. Lara was sweating in the midday sun and Marge looked pristine, without a hair out of place or a mark on her clothes.

‘I hope I’m like you, Marge, if I ever survive this farm.’

As Marge finished off the last shovelful, she rested on the handle, then measured up Lara with her compassionate eyes. ‘Don’t let a little thing like this worry you,’ she said, sweeping her hand over the super like it was just spilt milk. ‘It’s happened more than once over on our place and it probably won’t be the last time. These things happen. Farming is a big business and lots of things can go wrong and do go wrong. It’s how you ride out the problems that counts. You have to keep getting up, no matter what knocks you take. That’s the sign of a true battler.

‘Back in my day, nothing was as easy as it is today. I think of how hard my father worked night and day just to get his farm cleared, and to put in his crop, only to come home to sleep in a tent. I can remember when we could finally afford to rebuild a tin shed he’d bought for us to live in.’ Marge shook her head, as if she
could see the old wooden beams, rusted corrugated tin and dirt floors right in front of her.

Lara really had to admire that era. No creature comforts. At least she could go home after a hard day’s work to a comfortable house with plumbing.

Marge reached across and held her arm. ‘I believe in you, Lara. Do you believe in you?’ she asked, studying her with years of wisdom in her hazel eyes.

‘I do. I want to make this work, and I know I can. I want to do it for my parents but most importantly I want to do it for me. It feels right, Marge. Even with the hurdles, this place feels right.’

‘That’s what I like to hear. I’ve buried friends, family and more animals than you’d ever guess. Life is a struggle, Lara. It’s not easy, but if you can keep moving forward, keep battling on, you’ll be so much stronger for it.’ Marge reached for Lara’s hand and glanced at the tearing skin on her palms. ‘Come on. I’ll get the last of this super while you go and get the gloves out of my ute. Otherwise you’ll have more blisters than a teenager has pimples.’