The Right Time (45 page)

Emma frowned. ‘Do you all think I'm about to croak it?'

‘No!' the gaggle cried at once.

‘But when did you find out about this?' Emma asked her mother. ‘And how did you get home so quickly?'

‘I called Mum and Dad when the initial results came through,'
Liz broke in. It had been an instinctive reaction. She'd just needed to talk to her mum and dad. She hadn't expected them to jump on a plane and fly straight home though.

‘Which was just as well,' Evelyn was saying, ‘because she caught us barely hours before we were about to leave on the trek. After that, communication would have been patchy at best. So we went straight to the airport and waited on standby for the next available flight.'

‘You didn't have to come all the way back,' said Emma.

‘Nonsense,' said Evelyn. ‘You think we would have gone ahead, happily marching up Machu Picchu with our daughter in the hospital?' She gave Emma's hand a quick squeeze, shaking her head. ‘Wait till you have children of your own, then you'll understand.' She glanced around. ‘Where is Blake anyway?'

The decision was finally made that Liz and Evelyn would take Emma home to her apartment so that she could pack up some things for her hospital stay. If she didn't feel like sleeping the night there, she could go back and stay with her parents. Ellen and Evie both left after their father and Eddie arrived. There were more than enough people to fuss over Emma, and they didn't want to overwhelm her. Ellen turned on her phone as she left the hospital building; there were several messages from Finn, both voicemail and text. The last one had been sent around midday.
I guess you had to keep your phone off. Call me when you can. Thinking of you.

She stared at the phone for a while. This was really none of his business. Sure, she supposed he was being considerate, but at the same time he was being somewhat
in
considerate expecting Ellen to keep him updated. He didn't even know Emma. It would have been better if he'd just left it at ‘Thinking of you'.

By the time Ellen got to her car she'd composed a text message in her head, which she keyed into her phone once she'd unlocked the door and climbed into the driver's seat.

More tests tomorrow. Picking up kids now. Thanks for your concern.

After the message was sent, Ellen rang Tim.

‘How are you?' he said when he answered.

‘Oh, okay, we're getting through it.'

‘So what's happening?'

Ellen didn't feel like ‘sharing' with Tim either. It was really none of his business any more. And she wasn't going to get any comfort from going over it with him, so why should she?

‘Look, I'm really beat, so I'd just like to come and get the kids.'

‘Are you sure? I can keep them here if you want.'

‘I think I'd like to be with them tonight,' said Ellen. ‘And anyway, I should talk to them about what's going on . . .'

‘Oh, that's okay, I've already told them.'

‘What? Why did you do that?'

‘Well, after you messaged this morning and said you were going to be at the hospital, I had to tell them something.'

‘But you didn't know anything,' said Ellen. ‘What did you say to them?'

‘I explained Emma has skin cancer and that she'd been taken to hospital, and you wanted to be with her. But don't worry, when they asked if she was going to die, I told them no one knows yet.'

Jesus, it was like dealing with an adolescent.

‘All right, I'm on my way now,' she said, trying to stay calm. ‘Please ask the kids to get ready. And don't tell them anything else, Tim, because you don't actually know anything else, right?'

‘Mum, there's someone at the door to see you,' Sam called.

Ellen stepped into the hall and was immediately shocked to see Finn through the open doorway, standing on the front porch. What the hell was he doing here? She had to think quickly.

‘Oh, hi there,' she said, walking slowly up the hall. ‘Sam, this is the mechanic who fixed the car a little while ago, you remember?'

‘Hey,' said Sam with a nod.

‘Hey Sam,' Finn returned.

‘You must be here about that spare key, Mr Finlayson?' Ellen said as she came closer to the doorway.

‘Ah . . . yeah,' he said warily.

‘You didn't need to bring it over on a Sunday,' said Ellen, with an awkward glance sideways at Sam. He just shrugged and wandered back down the hall to the kitchen. Ellen watched him over her shoulder, and when he was out of sight she stepped quickly through the door, closing it behind her.

‘What are you doing here?' she hissed.

‘I just wanted to see how you were,' said Finn.

‘My kids are here!' Ellen declared. ‘You did get my message, didn't you?'

‘Yes I did,' Finn said in a level voice.

‘Well what were you thinking?'

‘I was thinking about you.'

‘Shh!' she exclaimed in a whisper. ‘What if they hear you?'

‘Ellen, why are you making such a big deal about this?' said Finn. ‘What do you think I'm going to do? Start groping you or something?'

‘Shh!'

He sighed. ‘I just wanted to check if you were okay. See how your sister was doing.'

‘You had no right to come here when you knew my kids were here,' she returned. ‘What am I supposed to tell them?'

He shook his head, meeting her gaze directly. ‘Sounds like you've got that covered. I'm just the mechanic.'

‘Mum!'

‘That's Kate now!' Ellen whispered urgently. ‘You have to go.'

The door opened suddenly and Kate peered out. ‘Oh, sorry,' she said.

‘Nothing to be sorry about, darling,' Ellen said in a strange high-pitched voice that didn't even sound like her. ‘This is just the mechanic who fixed the car, you know, he's returning the spare key.'

He nodded. ‘Hi, how are you doing?' he said to Kate.

‘Good thanks,' she smiled at him. ‘Hey Mum, you wanted me to check with you before I put that load of washing on.'

‘Yep, coming right now,' she said. ‘Well, thanks again, Mr Finlayson. See you next service.'

‘Ms Cosgrove.' He gave a nod before turning away down the steps.

Ellen ducked inside and closed the door.

‘So did he give you the key?' asked Kate.

Shit. Ellen closed her fist. ‘Yeah, right here,' she said, snatching her keys off the hall table with her other hand and turning away slightly as she rattled them around. ‘I'll put it back on this keyring while I remember.'

‘You keep your spare key with all your other keys?' said Kate.

‘Oh, no, I'll find a place for it later,' she said. ‘I just don't want to lose it for now.'

Kate shrugged and started down the hallway. ‘He's cute,' she said.

‘What?' Ellen said, turning abruptly.

Kate looked back at her. ‘Mr Finlayson, he's cute. Well, old-guy cute anyway.'

Ellen laughed nervously. ‘I wouldn't know, he's just the mechanic, Kate.'

She frowned. ‘Mum, you're such a snob!'

Ellen sighed.

‘You should go back to the apartment, Mum,' said Emma. ‘You haven't even had a chance to unpack yet. You don't need to wait around, this is going to take a while.'

They were sitting in her room at the hospital, facing the window that looked out across the suburbs, while Emma waited to be taken down for her MRI. She was frightened. She was trying not to show it, but Emma had never been so frightened in her whole life. She realised now that she had been in denial – she had acted pretty crazy – but she had just been told that a lousy little mole might end her life. And there wasn't a thing she could do about it, except wait and hope and pray that they'd caught it in time.

But Emma could almost feel the cancer rushing in to fill the
void that Blake had left inside her. If he loved her, if he had ever loved her, how could he have left her like this?

‘Of course I'm going to wait,' Evelyn was saying. ‘For as long as it takes. That's what a mother does.'

Emma raised an eyebrow. ‘So it took getting cancer for me to find that out?'

Evelyn looked at her daughter with a bemused expression. ‘It took you needing me,' she said.

‘You think this is the first time I've ever needed you?'

‘Maybe not, but it certainly hasn't happened very often,' said Evelyn. ‘You've always been so independent, Emma.'

‘I don't think I've had a choice,' she returned. ‘You were never all that interested in what I was doing, so I had to make my own way.'

‘Is that what you think?'

Emma shrugged. She might as well say it now. ‘You haven't always been there for me, Mum, not like you were for the others.'

Her mother took a moment to respond. ‘I guess I always felt that you were more than happy for us to stay out of your life.'

‘Why do you say that?'

‘Well, you seemed embarrassed by us,' she explained. ‘We were – what do the kids call it now? – nerds. I know you thought the same way about Ellen and Liz. We didn't wear the right clothes, keep up with the right TV shows, know all the celebrities. Dad and I were just boring old teachers who watched the ABC and read books, and your sisters were too serious about school.'

‘That isn't true,' Emma denied. ‘I mean it is true, the whole last part, but that doesn't mean I was embarrassed by you. I wanted you to be involved. I used to beg you to help out at my dancing concerts.'

‘Oh, sweetheart,' her mother shook her head, ‘is that still bothering you after all these years? I tried to tell you back then I couldn't sew to save my life. And as for helping on the day with makeup and hair? I would only have embarrassed you even more.'

Emma shrugged. ‘I just would have liked you to show an interest. Or even just to show up.'

‘Your father and I never missed a single one of your concerts,' she insisted.

‘But you never came to my classes.'

‘Because after Eddie started walking you asked me to stop bringing him,' she said. ‘He was a beggar, that kid, couldn't get him to sit still in his pram for two minutes. I used to bring Evie, do you remember? She was as good as gold, she loved to sit and watch the dancing. But Eddie, he'd run riot around the hall, across the dance floor, disrupting everyone. You seemed to think I could just park him with a neighbour or something, but I'd never done that with any of the rest of you, it didn't seem right to do it with Eddie.'

Emma was frowning as she listened to her mother.

‘What?' said Evelyn.

‘I don't remember that, I only remember that you stopped coming.'

Evelyn sighed. ‘I'm sorry, Emma. It's difficult juggling the needs of five children, someone's bound to get lost in the rush. I often worried it was Evie who didn't get enough attention, I always thought you'd get along fine. And you did – you knew what you wanted and you went out and got it. Your dad and I are very impressed with what you've made of your life.'

‘Come on, Mum, you can't say that you've exactly approved of the choices I've made,' said Emma.

‘That isn't true, darling,' she said. ‘We may not have always understood them – look at your brother, he hang-glides for a living.' She shook her head with a wry smile. ‘You think that's been easy for us?'

‘Why, because it isn't good enough?'

‘No, because we live in constant fear he's going to kill himself one day,' she said frankly. ‘But it makes him happy. And all your father and I have ever wanted is for you kids to be happy.'

‘Is that why you always gave me such a hard time about Blake?' Emma said. ‘Because you didn't think he'd make me happy?'

Evelyn looked at her.

‘You must be dying to say I told you so right now,' she added.

‘No, I'm not actually.'

‘Sure you are, I know that's what everyone's thinking,' said Emma. ‘They're just keeping it to themselves because I have cancer. They don't want to upset me.'

‘Okay,' said Evelyn, turning to her, ‘do you want to know what I honestly think? I was surprised, shocked in fact, when you told us he'd left. Because I believe Blake loves you, that's why I always wondered why he wouldn't marry you.'

Emma started to tear up.

‘It's going to be okay, darling,' said Evelyn, patting her arm. ‘You just have to give him a chance to cool down. He'll come around.'

‘I'm in hospital having treatment for cancer,' Emma said squarely, wiping a tear away. ‘He doesn't care. He hasn't called, he hasn't left any messages, nothing.'

‘But he probably doesn't know,' her mother suggested.

‘He knew I had the melanoma, that I was supposed to be getting it treated. Wouldn't you think he'd call someone to find out what was going on?'

‘Maybe he will.'

Emma shook her head. ‘It's too late, Mum.'

‘Dr Beckett!'

Liz turned around to see Andrew striding up the corridor towards her. She was just about to head into theatre and scrub in for Emma's surgery.

‘Liz,' he said once he was closer, and out of earshot of anyone. ‘What's going on? I saw
E Beckett
on the surgery list for this morning, and it startled me for a minute until I realised it was Emma. Why didn't you tell me?'

‘Andrew, don't you think I might have had other things on my mind?' she suggested with a raised eyebrow.

‘Yeah, of course, I'm sorry,' he sighed. ‘So she's having a wide excision and node biopsy?'

Liz nodded. ‘She's at T3, we just have to hope we've got it in time.'

‘Well, Rob McGrath's the best around.'

‘That's why I asked him.'

‘Are you assisting?'