The Remedy Files: Illusion (7 page)

I pull away from his hands. I knew he would bring up the dreams. “No, that’s stupid. It doesn’t matter. I don’t have control over it.”

“What if you do?” He argues back. “What if you do, then what?”

“What are you talking about? I don’t understand why you want to play all these hypothetical games all the time. It’s not reality so why even debate it. Everything for you sure seems to have worked out just fine, though, huh? Tell your pairing hello for me.” Dropping the vine, I turn on my heel and run through the trees all the way back to Impetus, not stopping until I get to the thickets where I pause to catch my breath. 

I hate that Gavin challenges me on the way my community works. It works. The system works. I have to think of it as “my community” because days like today, he makes it clear that he only sits on the outside. He has his own life, and I have mine. It’s a reminder that it’s a place where Gavin obviously doesn’t belong.

However, in my world that has been stretched outside further than just Impetus ever since I met him, he does belong. Throughout the years, Gavin has grown to be a very important part of my life, and I don’t like to think of it without him.

CHAPTER 9
 

I near the thickets to the community entrance and slow my steps to be able to slide in undetected. As I crawl through, I hear voices. Stopping, I hold on to the branches so they won’t move, and listen intently to the conversation. There are two male voices that I have never heard before. I try peering through the bushes but can’t identify any faces.

“Did he see you?” asks one.

A much deeper voice replies, “No, he had his back turned to me. It’s definitely him, though. That’s not the first time I saw him in that same place. It’s too close. It has to be him.”

“Did you see anyone else? He can’t be doing this all on his own. Do you really think he would try to come back?” the voice sounded strained. “We can’t have that. If someone saw him… There would be consequences.”

“Sir, if it’s with your permission, I can take care of him. No one would have to know.”

What does that mean? Take care of him? I’ve heard that line in old movies that the Community will play during its Quarterly Evening Under the Lightstones event over the years. Ones that show how bad The Before actually was as captured in films they used as entertainment. When that line was used, it was never used for good.

“I thought you already did.” The other man snaps. “Apparently you didn’t get it right the first time.”

There is hasty silence. The stillness goes on for way too long. Suddenly, it is interrupted by the beeping of my wrist monitor. I clasp it quickly with my right hand, trying to cover the sound. A large tin door slams with force. Silence again except for the beeping of my monitor. I don’t want to move in case someone sees me but I don’t have much of a choice. I need to get to a Remedy Cube. Besides, with my monitor beeping, it won’t take long for someone to hear me and find me hiding in the shrubbery.

I keep low to the ground, moving the branches to take a better look. No one is around. I think I’m okay. I sprint out to the other side of the gardens, staying as far away from touching the steel frame of the building as I can. As I cross the road to the Clinic, I glance behind me. The door I heard had to come from one of the steel buildings. Someone went in there, which means that people do actually use those. But who? And what do they do? And why doesn’t anyone ever talk about them? I need to ask Gavin. Maybe he’ll know. He’s not going to like hearing that I was so close to getting caught, though. That was a risky move on my behalf.

There’s no line at one of the Remedy Cubes outside the Clinic so I quickly swipe my monitor as two pills come rolling down the chute. They easily slide down my throat and within seconds, the beeping stops. Since it’s still too early for my work shift, I decide to go down to the Courtyards that surround the Lightstones to see if Jacqueline was hanging out after the Dig.

Who were those men? They sounded older, as though they could be Officials. We’ve heard everyone on the Community Board speak throughout time, though, and those voices were too different. I’ve never seen anyone who wasn’t tending the garden be so close to either of those buildings. I’ll need to be more careful as I come in and out through Impetus.

I walk back past the Unpaired Housing and once again think of Ms. Kay. She has now lived in both the Paired and the Unpaired sides; she has seen both aspects of how the ceremony choices could go. Which housing would I end up in? Which one did I want to live in? If I couldn’t determine what I wanted, how could Impetus make the decision so easily for me?

The little Gavin has said about his own community makes me wonder just how different we are. He pokes fun at Impetus’ rules and way of life but he doesn’t say anything about what the alternative would be. Up until our earlier conversation, I simply have never thought much about him having his own separate community. Even though Gavin has always been outside of Impetus walls, he has always felt to me as though he was inside. Every day he was there when I knew he would be in the same spot for almost twelve years.

Impetus was founded upon consistencies and predictability for a safe and secure life. I was already used to that but there is something special about me creating my own consistency with choosing to add Gavin as a part of my world and forming my own habitual trek to see him every day. Although still predictable, it is much more special because it was the first choice I ever made on my own.

In that thought, Gavin’s comment earlier about choices becomes slightly clearer. I did make a choice once before that affected my life. After I met Gavin, I chose to risk the consequences of continuing to see him. I made the decision that I wanted Gavin in my life so I made that exact thing happen. We are supposed to entrust all of our choices to be in the hands of Impetus, but if I did that and followed the rules, Gavin would have been a vague memory instead of such an imperative part of who I am today.

The question he asked is, what else do I want? Even though I understand a little better what Gavin was suggesting, I still can’t answer that question. The decision to choose Gavin came without much of a thought. Every single day it’s an innate act that I do- almost like blinking. If I don’t do it, my body isn’t operating as it should. Logic. I don’t know how else to better describe it. I don’t even know if it is more than what it is. It just
is
. That’s what he is to me. I wish what I wanted for my future was as clear.

I think back to our conversations over the years. Every time I ask Gavin what he’s doing out in the woods, he says “research for his community.” So is that his official job? Or yet, is that his contribution to his community that he does on the side as part of being in a pairing? He never did say no when I asked him about his pairing. He never denied having someone else that he talks to just as much as me. Another woman who his community deemed as being the perfect match for him and who is there when he knows she will be every morning and every night. Why was this such a foreign thought to me? Why did I want to force it out of my mind so badly?

I catch myself sighing out loud as I near the Events & Announcements Stage. There are several Level 17 classmates playing on it, acting out a movie it seems. Since we were the only class that had its Dig today, everyone else was still in school. I see Caroline’s red hair flapping in the wind in her usual highly set ponytail. Of course she’s center stage as always, no doubt seeking out everyone’s attention that walks by. Since people give it to her, she never changes.

I should have taken a different route. My mind was so consumed by Gavin that I forgot Caroline was here earlier. Since Caroline is hardly ever without Adeline, I’m sure she has to be here now too. Adeline has always openly been Caroline’s number one biggest fan. I’ve never understood it but I suppose it’s like me and Jacqueline. We’re just a lot more independent from each other and I’d say much nicer to others as well.

As I get a better angle of the stage, my suspicions are confirmed. There’s Adeline, chatting in the corner with Joline and Bryan. All of their eyes are on Caroline as she performs a solo act, dramatically flailing her arms and twirling about a bit too much. On one of the benches before the stage were three additional classmates: Damian, Brennan, and Ethan.

Oh no. Jacqueline cannot see Ethan watching Caroline. With being so close to the Futures Ceremony, she wouldn’t be able to risk his match with Caroline instead. They are both equally beautiful, intelligent, and logical so I could see Impetus taking that decision either way. Of course Jacqueline was much kinder than Caroline but the Community Board didn’t always see things from our viewpoints. Caroline knew how to act when no one else was watching.

I suppose I could always tell the Board that Caroline asked me a banned question earlier which I’m sure would lessen her chances to get paired with someone like Ethan. Regrettably as Caroline pointed out, I don’t have it in me to report someone. Especially when I know I break some of the most important rules as it is. Of course she doesn’t know that part of my reasoning, though.

I have no clue what I’m going to say to him, but I know I need to do something before any Community Board members walk by.  “Hey, Ethan!” I call to get his attention, hoping that maybe we can get some game going with others in the Level or basically do anything else whatsoever other than have him watch Caroline.

As soon as the words left my mouth, I watch the looks on the bench change as each guy’s eyes widen and their mouths open. Ethan and Brennan launch out of the bench. As soon as it registers that their attention isn’t on me, my ears catch the sound of the scream. I look over just in time to see Caroline land awkwardly on the ground in front of the stage. It had to have been at least an eight foot fall. All elevated structures that have walkways have to remain at a respectable height to not affect Remedy levels. Typically the max is nine feet so I would assume the stage is slightly lower to not risk anyone’s individual levels.

“Caroline, can you get up? Are you able to walk?” I hear Brennan ask as I run over.

“It’s all her fault!” Caroline shrieks while pointing her finger at me.

Adeline and Joline run to the edge of the stage, high pitched voices yelling out a mix of “help!” and “oh Caroline!”

Brennan and Ethan dip down, each grabbing one of Caroline’s arms and try to hoist her up.   

“Guys- wait! Don’t touch her yet!” I yell out to warn them but it was too late.

As soon as they put Caroline’s weight on her legs again, a loud crack echoes in the air. I watch as a large bone suddenly juts out through her skin right under her left knee.

All at once, several monitors begin beeping and more screams for help arise from all different directions. I immediately spring into professional mode, putting my years of training into use. I command Damian to go get the emergency cart so he takes off in a sprint. I demand that Bryan follow Damian and use the emergency Remedy dispenser for seven additional pills.

I rip off the right sleeve of Brennan’s shirt. “Hey!” He objects.

When I glare at him, he doesn’t push it any further. Tearing the sleeve in half, I kneel down to pull the bone back into Caroline’s leg with the use of the wrap and tie it tightly around her leg.

“Stop screaming!” I shout back to Joline and Adeline who immediately close their mouths. They have never before heard me use any tone above the normal. No one has. I barely talk at all to them let alone yell at anyone.

Within a few minutes, Damian and Bryan come back, pulling the emergency cart behind them. I help Bryan distribute the Remedy pills to everyone with Caroline being the first. Luckily we’ve all been so used to taking them our entire lives that we don’t usually need anything to wash them down.

“Pick her up and put her in the back of the cart carefully.” I command Brennan and Ethan.

Together they lift her up and lie her down in the cart on her back. I swear I see what looks like a hidden smile on Caroline’s face. She’s actually enjoying all of this attention.

They take the handles to pull the cart in the direction of the Clinic. I stop them, noticing they aren’t doing it smoothly which can jeopardize other injuries if there are any.

Firmly I say, “Off, guys. I’ve got it from here.” I take a hold of the handles and pull Caroline to the Clinic instead. What took two men to do, I’m able to do on my own.

“You guys can all follow, though!” Caroline yells from the cart. Directing her next comment towards me, she says, “Besides, someone needs to protect me so this monster doesn’t hurt me again.”

An image of me turning the cart over and letting Caroline fall hard to the ground flashes through my mind.

Before I can say anything in return, Adeline comes running up alongside of us. “I’m here, Caroline! I won’t leave your side!”