The Redemption of Callie and Kayden (29 page)

from one of the bags Seth was carrying yesterday. She gives me

another reserved smile before retreating toward the bathroom.

“Will you let him in when you’re dressed?” she asks, as I slip my

boxers back on.

I eye her over. “What are you doing?”

She combs her fingers through her hair. “I’m going to take a

shower. I have sand in my hair from last night.”

A slow smile spreads across my lips. I know I’ve been kind of

intense with her and she’s probably sore as hell, but I can’t help it.

As images of her in the shower, the hot water dripping down her

body, hair, nipples, appear in my head, I decide I need to take a

shower with her. Besides, everything is perfect right now and I

want to drag it along for as long as I can before we have to return

to real life and our problems. “Yeah, me too.” I stand up from the

bed and she pulls a perplexed look from the doorway of the

bathroom. She doesn’t get what I’m saying and I don’t expect her

too. She’s innocent and sweet and her mind doesn’t instantly

wander to the gutter like Daisy’s would.

I walk toward her, loving that she’s biting her lip. “You look

lost,” I say as I reach for her arm.

Her gaze skims to my chest and for a second I feel

self-conscious. “That’s because I am. Do you want to take a shower

first? I can wait if you need to?”

I smile and it’s real, not plastered on. Touching my fingertip

to her bottom lip, I bring my other hand up to her bare hip. “I’m

saying I’ll take a shower with you.”

She lets out a startled gasp and I’m worried I’ve pushed her a

little too far. Then her cheeks turn pink as her eyes quickly roam

over my body and she chews on her bottom lip. She doesn’t say

anything when she meets my eyes and I can tell she’s curious.

“Don’t worry.” I lower my finger from her lip. “It’ll be fun. All

soapy and wet and slippery.” Her eyes enlarge as my fingers

envelop around her hips and I scoop her up. She lets out a giggle

and I smile as I back us into the bathroom.

“Wait a minute,” she says right as I’m about to kiss her. “We

need to let Seth in. He’s going to get upset.”

Begrudgingly, I walk back to the bedroom door and unlatch

the lock. Then I hurry back to the bathroom, still carrying Callie,

who keeps giggling every time my fingers touch her stomach. As

I’m kicking the bathroom door closed, I call out, “Seth, you can

come in.” Then I seal my lips to hers and kiss her until we run out

of air. Then we part, breathing ragged, and her fingers are

brushing the nape of my neck.

I glance around, ready to turn the shower on. “Wait, where’s

the shower?”

She points over her shoulder at the corner of the wall that’s

framed with a narrow doorway. “I think it’s back there.”

“That’s not a closet?”

She shrugs. “I don’t think so. If it is…” Her eyes wander

around to the sink, the toilet, and the towel rack. “Then I’m

thinking there’s not one.”

Cupping her ass to hold her weight, I walk around to the

doorway and round the corner. There’s a small section that dips

back with empty rods and shelves. I veer to the left because it’s the only place to go and the room opens up. There are frosted glass

windows on the wall and the ocean is right outside. There’s also a

massive oval tub in the corner that is raised up on a rectangular

podium that is framed by tile steps.

Callie frowns. “There’s no shower?” She tries not to smile.

“That sucks. I was seriously warming up to the idea of it.”

I give her a gentle pinch on the back of her leg and she

squeals and clutches onto me. I make my way back to the tub

without setting her down and turn the faucet on.

“What are you doing?” she asks, watching the water stream

out as I stick my hand in and check the temperature.

“Taking a bath.” I secretly love the fact that there’s only a tub

and no shower. The possibilities of what we could do in this big

bathtub are endless.

She fidgets nervously, her body stiffening as she warily eyes

the water filling up the tub. “We’re going to take a bath together?”

Her nose scrunches up and I’m about to tell her that we don’t have

to if she doesn’t want to when she says, “Then we’d be, like, sitting in each other’s filth.”

I sputter a laugh and then step up onto the stair. “How dirty

do you think I am?”

Every once in a while she’ll get this conniving look in her

eyes and it’s appearing in full form. “I don’t know.” She scales up

my body. “Guys are known for their filthiness, aren’t they?”

I pinch the back of her leg again and she jumps, letting out a

squealing laugh. The movement sends me forward and I stumble

into the bathtub, slipping on the bottom. I try to land as gently as I can so she won’t get hurt and I end up slamming my elbow into

the corner of the tub and water splashes everywhere. She’s

laughing as I struggle to sit up in the water, with her straddling me.

“Oh, you think that’s funny?” I sit up, still holding onto her

waist, my fingertips delving into her wet skin. Beads of water are

streaming down her body, her hair, her soft skin and it’s even

better than I ever could have imagined. We sit there for a while,

listening to the water fill up the tub, looking at each other, waiting for the other one to speak.

“Callie, I have to ask…” I massage her hip bones with my

thumbs. “About the throwing-up thing.”

She stops breathing, but doesn’t move away. “I’m working

on it.”

I let out a deep exhale through my nose. “You’re too skinny…

to be doing that.”

“I told you it’s not about that.”

“I know it’s not about that, but regardless, it’s making you

too skinny and I hate the fucking idea that you’re hurting yourself.”

I’m being a hypocrite, but it’s important that she knows how I feel

because she always tells me how she feels.

“Maybe I should talk to someone,” she says, conflicted.

“Although I’ve been doing better.”

“Talking to someone would be good.” I shut my eyes and

summon up some courage. “I’ve been… I’ve been talking to this

therapist at the clinic. As much as I hate the fucking clinic and the reason why I was there, he seems like an okay guy.” I shift my

weight as the water gets higher. “I’m supposed to keep seeing

him.”

“That’s good,” she says, searching my eyes for something.

“Maybe you should tell him about what your dad did.”

My fingers pierce deeper into her skin. “I’m not sure if he’s

the right person.”

“Then who is?”

She has a point. Who would I tell? My mom? My brother?

After that, the only people I know wouldn’t know what the fuck to

do with the info. “Maybe I could.”

“You’re going to,” she insists and runs her hand through my

wet hair, smoothing it out of my face. “And I’ll come with you.”

I’m wary and hesitant, and honestly, as much as I care about

her, I really don’t want her there, listening to all the fucked-up

things I’ve done. “Callie… I don’t think that’s such a good idea. I

don’t want you hearing the gory details.”

“I saw the gory details,” she says and tears form in the

corners of her eyes. “I can handle hearing them… unless you don’t

want me to be there.” Determination burns in her eyes.

“Callie, I really don’t think you should be there,” I protest, my

insides clenching as I think about her hearing the inner workings of

my screwed-up head.

She shakes her head and takes my hand. “Kayden, I can help

you if you’ll just let me… Please just let me help you.”

It’s hard to say no when she’s looking at me this way, so

even though I want to go alone, I hear myself saying, “Okay, you

can come with me… but only if you promise me one thing.”

She nods enthusiastically. “Anything.”

“That I can be there to help you when you tell your family

about Caleb.”

She considers this, looking conflicted, but then she slowly

leans in and lightly places her lips against mine. “Okay,” she

whispers against my mouth. “We can do this,” she mutters and I’m

not sure if she’s talking to me or herself. “Because I think we’re

stronger when we’re together.”

I think about last night and how she managed to calm me

down and stop me from cutting. She might be right. On so many

levels. “I think we should head back today… I don’t think I should

have probably left in the first place… I kind of feel like I’m running away from everything.”

She nods in agreement. “It might have been a bad idea.”

“Not bad.” I inch my fingers between her legs, causing her

breath to falter. “What happened last night…” I lower my voice as I

dip my lips toward her ear and run my fingers across the back of

her hand. I want to get as much Callie-time as possible, just in case this doesn’t end well, because in my world things generally don’t.

It’s painful to think about, but realistic, and it could end up being reckless and damaging if I didn’t see this way. “What happened

over and over again…” I slip my finger inside her and her body

curves into mine. “… was in no way bad at all.” I kiss her cheek as

her eyes gaze off. “It was amazing.”

I start moving my finger until I drive her to the edge and she

cries out my name. Then I slip my soaked boxers off and slide

inside her, wanting every part of her, knowing that at any moment

things can go wrong. But for once in my life, I hope they don’t. I

hope everything goes okay. What that means, I’m not sure, but I

want to find out.

#26 Face the inevitable, whatever the hell it is

Callie

Bathtubs aren’t as gross as I thought. I’ve never been much

of a bather. The idea of sitting in water and soaking in your own

filth grosses me out. But after the bath with Kayden, I think I’ve

had a change of heart. After we get out, we get dressed and then

prepare ourselves to head out into the kitchen. It’s kind of scary,

leaving the room. We’ve lived in this magical, safe bubble for the

last fifteen hours and as soon as we step over the threshold it’s

going to pop, especially when we tell Seth and Luke we have to go

home early.

I put on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, pull my hair into a

ponytail, and slip my shoes on. Kayden has on a plaid shirt, jeans,

and boots. His hair’s a little damp and he had to take the bandage

off because it got wet in the bathtub. The wounds beneath it aren’t

healing and one of them looks fresh. He notices me staring at

them as he rolls his sleeve down to cover them up.

“I’m going to work on it,” he says with his head down as he

buttons his sleeve. Pieces of his hair hang in his eyes and, unable

to stop myself, I brush them away.

“I can’t lose you.” I’m not one hundred percent sure why I say

it other than I can’t stop thinking about him lying on the floor and

how I felt when I thought he wasn’t going to make it. “I need you.”

He seems to grow uncomfortable with my declaration,

fidgeting with the bottom button on his shirt. It doesn’t matter,

though. He needs to know. In fact, I think I’m going to tell him a

lot just how much I need him and how great a person he is,

because I don’t think he’s heard it that much.

“You ready?” he asks, finally looking up from his shirt. He

reaches for a rubber band on top of the dresser and slips it onto

his wrist.

I nod and open the door. “Seth’s not going to be happy

we’re leaving.”

“Yeah, Luke isn’t going to be either.” He winds around me.

“But oh well.”

I follow him out the door and down the hall into the kitchen.

Seth and Luke are sitting at the table, looking exhausted: bags

under their eyes, which are bloodshot, pale skin, and they look

nauseous. Seth is dressed in cargo shorts and a gray polo, and his

hair is stylishly tousled. Luke’s got a pair of striped pajama

bottoms on and no shirt. I immediately feel uncomfortable at the

sight of his bare chest with tattoos all over it. Some of my old

feelings of shame and guilt begin to surface, so I hitch my finger

through one of Kayden’s belt loops on the back of his jeans. I don’t

know why I do it, other than holding onto him seems to have a

serene effect on me.

He glances over his shoulder at me, his emerald eyes

glistening as he looks at me with concern. “Are you okay?”

I nod, avoiding looking in Luke’s direction, biting at my nails.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

He looks down at my finger in his belt loop, and then shrugs

it off. I love him even more at that moment, especially when he

swings his arm around my shoulder and pulls me up next to him as

we stop near the counter, which is littered with beer bottles, ashes, and cigarette butts.

He slants in and brushes his lips across my forehead, before

he announces, “So, we have to head back today.”

Luke starts digging around in the fridge and then he moves

back with a gallon of milk in his hand, kicking the door shut with

his barefoot. “Are you fucking kidding me? We just got here

yesterday morning.”

“I know,” Kayden says, glancing at me with a hint of fear in

his eyes. “But… but there are a few things that Callie and I have to