The Rainbow Maker's Tale (18 page)

“That’s not entirely true, it
just felt like you wanted more of an argument with someone than to
talk. I actually
do
like the strange things you come out
with, crazy as you sometimes seem – you ask me stuff that makes me
think.”

My eyes found hers again. She
was echoing exactly what I’d been thinking only a few moments
earlier: Cassie was different when we were together. And it sounded
as though she liked
different
.

“Ask me something else!”

She was grinning now. I knew
she was teasing me a little, but I couldn’t help but be tempted. I
spent so much of my time trying to work out what was going on in
her head that an open invitation was very appealing.

“Please?” she coaxed.

“OK, you win!” I gave in to her
mock-grovelling. “Another question…but nothing too hard. I don’t
think you’re up to it to be honest.”

“True. I think the placement is
taking up whatever brain space I had left.”

“Ah yes, the placement…” It was
a good subject choice for a diversion and maybe learning something
new. “How’re you finding that now?”

“Better, although, I think I’ll
still get sent to engineering next – I’m not a natural Medic, but
can handle the research stuff without too much difficulty. What
about you?”

“Its fine – but I like science,
so it’s a good match for me.”

“You’re great at
astro-engineering too. They’ll probably want you there as well
after you’ve done a placement with them.” Cassie observed.

“Perhaps.” I had no intention
of staying where they put me and hoped to be out before then,
anyway. “You’ll be doing the engineering placement too,” I reminded
her. “You might have a choice as well.”

Cassie scoffed at my
suggestion. “I’m sure they’ll have better placement candidates than
me – I wouldn’t make a good engineer!”

Maybe she had other reasons now
for wanting to get placed as a Medic instead of trying the
Engineering rotation?

The more time we spent
together, the more I became confident that she liked me and –
whatever our relationship was – seemed different to her friendships
at school. Or was that wishful thinking on my part? Cassie
certainly got on well with Joel and I had no doubt that he liked
her. Was their friendship any different to whatever it was that
Cassie and I had?

“I just hope I get placed at
The Clinic and don’t end up being pushed around the space station
trying to find
anything
that suits me.”

I was so busy turning over my
own thoughts that I almost missed what she said, but not quite. It
sounded as though she actually believed she would struggle to find
a role for herself on the station. How could she not see that she
was smart enough to fit in wherever she wanted to?

Smart isn’t everything, is
it?

The little voice inside me
niggled. It was right: I was smart enough to fit in to most roles
on the space station, but that didn’t mean I could. I was too
different
, wasn’t I?

I stared at Cassie, without
meaning to. Wondering whether she was more like me than I imagined:
she didn’t know how exactly to fit in. “You’ll get placed at The
Clinic, if that’s what you want,” I told her, hoping to give her
some of the assurance that I couldn’t offer to myself. “Father said
you were a natural dealing with the children in the fractures ward;
they really took to you.”

Cassie’s cheeks blossomed
pinky-red: embarrassed by the compliment. I couldn’t help but
laugh; she was such an odd combination of soft and tough I didn’t
quite know how she would react to anything. “You’re quite modest
aren’t you? It’s surprising really, as from a distance I would have
expected you to be…
different
.”

“Different?” she repeated, her
tone abruptly suspicious. “Different how…?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I waved
away the question, sensing that if I answered it could be
problematic for both of us. It was odd though, how particularly she
reacted to that one word:
different
. What was so bad about
being different?

I cast around for a change of
subject. “How are you getting along with your partner?”

“Joel?” Cassie appeared
surprised.

I nodded.

“Fine, he’s good company,” she
shrugged, dismissing her own words as she so often did. “He’s just
like the guys from school really.”

What did her shrug mean?

Was Joel just one of her
friends, like the others at school – or was she dismissing
something more serious behind her simple answer? And why were so
many questions hammering my head over a simple four-word
sentence?

Because you’re crazy?

Probably.

He’s like the guys from
school…
“You mean like Matthew and Callum? Do you see them much
now that we’re all on placement?”

“Erm…not really.”

Cassie was frowning at me,
perhaps wondering where the questions were leading. “I saw Patrick
and Ami a few days ago. I’ve not actually seen many people from
school. They all seem busy with their own placements. Have you seen
anyone?”

I ignored the question directed
at me. Cassie knew well enough that I would have no reason for
seeing anyone from school. “So, you’ve mainly been spending time
with Joel then?” I asked.

“I think I’ve seen
you
more in the past week than anyone from school or from our
placement.”

She was definitely cross with
me – perhaps for ignoring her question – but I couldn’t help
smiling at her actual words. She’d been with me more than anyone
else. I felt the familiar surge inside my rib cage and so I didn’t
mind that she still sounded mad when she carried on speaking.

“You know that you don’t get a
huge amount of time to talk during the placements once you’re
working. Joel and I don’t get chance to have that much to do with
each other.”

If – just once – Olivia put
working before talking, it would be a peaceful day for me!
“Oh,
I don’t know, Olivia certainly manages to talk a lot,” I smiled,
but shook my head at the same time.

“I had noticed,” Cassie smiled
back. “Olivia does seem to like talking to
you
particularly,
though.”

Was there an edge to her words?
I wasn’t sure. But, it was a big leap from wondering if Cassie
liked me, to thinking she was jealous of Olivia.

Get over yourself! You’re
not that special.
I looked away from her joking smile now,
uncomfortable as a warm burn rose on my own cheeks.

I might not be special, but for
a while now I had been trying to ignore the idea that perhaps
Olivia was interested in me in a particular way. If Cassie had
noticed it too, then perhaps it was true.

“You can’t tell me that you
hadn’t noticed that?”

Cassie’s question echoed my own
thoughts, making me feel guiltier than ever. I really disliked
Olivia, which made me feel awful if she
did
like me.

“I…well…” I had nothing to
offer – too consumed with imagining how painful it would be for me
if I was in Olivia’s position…if the girl I thought I loved,
disliked pretty much everything about me.

One moment we were sitting next
to each other, whilst I stewed over what an awful person I was, the
next Cassie was on her feet, jumping away from me. “It doesn’t
matter – I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that – you don’t have to
answer.”

I stayed where I was, trying to
work out what had happened in the last few seconds to make Cassie
jump around like a scared rabbit. Surely, she couldn’t know how
much I disliked Olivia? I kept it well hidden, on the whole.

The silence stretched between
us, until I realised that there was only one thing I could do.
Olivia didn’t matter; she wasn’t here. But
we
were, and if I
wanted to find out where I stood with Cassie, there was only one
way I could think of to find out.

Quietly, I got to my feet.
Cassie made no movement to indicate she had heard me: she remained
frozen in place, staring out at the Family Quarter spread beneath
us, her back to me. With silent steps I moved towards her, feeling
nervous and bold in equal measure.

“I don’t really want to talk
about it,” I whispered into her ear, moving in close behind. As
nerves took hold I drew in a deep, ragged breath to steady my
thumping heartbeat. I thought I felt Cassie shiver beside me – as
if she was nervous too – but perhaps I imagined it. “I don’t like
Olivia in the way I sometimes think that she likes me.” I wanted
Cassie to hear more in my confession than I could actually say out
loud. “I thought that perhaps you might have figured that out…”

“Figured out what?” Cassie
whispered back.

Her words gave me the push I
needed. My hands reached forwards, finding the softness of her
wrists before sliding upwards to take hold of her arms. I felt
static prickling my palms where my skin touched hers, as though the
nerves coursing through my body had become electric. Beneath my
hands, I felt Cassie tremble, but she didn’t pull away from me.

“I know, you know,” I murmured
into her neck, allowing my lips the freedom to caress her ear lobe,
as I spoke. A lovely light citrus fragrance lingered in the dark
strands of Cassie’s hair and I laughed softly to myself,
recognising but not caring about my failure to maintain any kind of
distance or control around this young woman. I was so easily
distracted by Cassie, if I didn’t focus on what I was doing, I
imagined I could find myself getting lost in the smallest features
of her body... “Are you going to make me
say
it?” I
whispered finally, unable to disguise the smile in my voice.

Cassie nodded, nothing more.
Something inside me just
knew
that she wanted me to say
this: wanted me to confess how I felt about her. There were no
illusions, no distractions or questions in that moment: just us. I
leaned closer – to kiss her – and found myself laughing again. I
had never felt this happy – or free – in my existence…

Then everything changed.

In the instant I sensed that
Cassie wanted the same thing as me, I felt something else.
Something very wrong.

There was the smallest movement
in the ground beneath me: so tiny that I almost missed it. Then a
moment later a second, much bigger shift, nearly knocked me to the
floor and I found my body automatically reacting before I could
consciously evaluate what was going on. I levered myself backwards,
away from the edge of the plateau and tried to pull Cassie closer
to me, but it was too late.

A loud
crack
exploded
through the tense silence that had built up around us and instead
of pulling Cassie’s body towards mine as I’d been intending to, I
found her being jerked away. Cassie’s left arm had already slipped
from my loose grip and I sensed, rather than saw, that there was
nothing beneath her feet where the rock ledge had been a moment
earlier.

It felt as though every muscle
in my body tensed in that one instant. As Cassie fell away from me,
my grip became a vice on her right arm.

This can’t be happening
again!

My mind was screaming as I
watched Cassie twist in the air beneath me, turning around to look
upwards as she dropped. In her eyes I saw the same shock I’d seen
in Scarlett’s.

“NO!” I cried, throwing myself
forward.
This would not happen again!

My left hand joined the right
one and locked around Cassie’s arm. For one instant there was
nothing, then the pull of her full weight knocked me off my feet
and I crashed painfully into the remnants of the rock shelf. She
jerked to a stop beneath me, a terrible cry screeching out of her
chest, the sound infused with agony.

Every muscle in my upper body
screamed at me to let go: I couldn’t hold that much weight.

I’m not letting go!
I
screamed right back.

My shoulders bunched forwards
as my elbows scraped agonisingly across the ragged ground.
I’m
not letting go
, I told myself again and held on tighter, using
my own pain to help me focus on my muscles and work them
harder.

Blinking away the tears and
sweat that were blurring my vision, I looked down at Cassie. The
arm I held on to was completely wrong: twisting at the shoulder
unnaturally as though it were a loose thread not flesh and bone.
Beneath her there was nothing, except air. Then forty metres below
that, the rocky base of the hillside, filled with more broken stone
resin.

“CASSIE!” I shouted out, trying
to catch her attention as her head lolled dangerously to the side.
If she blacked out now she would die.

“Cassie!” I yelled again and
she opened her eyes. “I’ve got you!”

In those few seconds, I felt
her begin to slide again: my hands were too close together and I
needed to get a better grip. A shadow of doubt crossed Cassie’s
face as she sensed the movement. That wasn’t good: I needed her to
trust me… Squeezing more tightly with my left hand – trying not to
imagine what further damage I might be doing to her body in the
process – I managed to replace my right hand around Cassie’s wrist.
My muscles protested, but I had her more securely at least.

“Cassie?!” I shouted again. It
was obvious her attention was drifting, but this time she looked up
to me. For the first time I saw her face properly: her pale skin
was ashen, small grazes gleamed pinky-red on her cheeks, perhaps
where stray stone fragments had hit her as she fell, or where she’d
hit the rock face beneath. A fog of pain and fear blurred her
normally bright eyes, but I could still read the questions there:
they burned into me.

“I’m going to get you out of
this Cassie,” I promised. It was the truth, because I would save
her or die trying and I knew it. Dragging a deep breath into my
tight lungs I gripped harder than ever, preparing to move.