The Purity of Blood: Volume I (37 page)

“Our theory is
that because of the kinds of people we were – our old nature as humans, we were
better equipped to live this new life than the rest of our kind.
 
It’s not that they can’t live like we do, but
they are forced to fight harder against their nature than we seem to have
to.
 
That said, it isn’t easy for any of
us.
 
In the end, we are creatures that
desire blood, which means our basic nature is that of a killer, a
predator.
 
But we’ve been able to
suppress this nature at least in part, mostly because of Randall.”

I leaned back in
the chair, rocking back and forth as I watched the boat dance across the
water.
 
Out of the corner of my eye, I
saw two men standing on the rocks a little ways down the shoreline, casting their
lines into the water.
 
It was as tranquil
a place as I’d ever seen.
 
It seemed an
odd spot to be having a discussion with a vampire about his darker nature, but
I was starting to get used to that.
  

I turned my head
to watch Daniel as he looked out on the lake.
 
His handsome features appeared relaxed as the sunlight danced off his
blue eyes, making them sparkle like the water.
 
His chiseled body was apparent even as he reclined in the rocker.
 
He really did look a heck of a lot more like
a male model than a teaching assistant.
 
Glancing down at my old clothes, I sighed.
 
I couldn’t believe how incredibly frumpy I
felt sitting beside him.

He turned,
meting my gaze and smiled.
 
The
unpleasantness of the morning no longer showing on his face, he reached over
and took my hand.
 
He pulled it towards
him and gently kissed it.

A question
occurred to me.

“So I’m guessing
that thing about vampires not being able to go outside in the daylight isn’t
true.”

He smiled and
suppressed a laugh.

“I’m not sure
where that one came from, but if I had to guess, we may have started that one
on purpose.
 
It’s a myth that has stuck
around a long time and certainly one that doesn’t give people cause to give us
a second look if it was something they believed.”

I couldn’t help
but wonder what it must be like to be a vampire, to live a life ruled by animal
instincts.
 
Part of me wished I could
experience it firsthand just so I could understand what he was going through.
 
Yet part of me shuttered at the thought of losing
my humanity to a dark creature; that, in a single moment, this internal
manifestation of evil could devour my ability to think rationally.
 
What part of Sara would survive this
transformation process?
 

It forced me to
wonder what Daniel had been like as a human.
 
How much of the human Daniel had been left
behind when he … died?
 
I shoved these
thoughts to the back of my mind as I felt him squeeze my hand again.
 
Needing to deepen my connection to him, I
shifted my gaze from the boat that now gently drifted on the far side of the
lake to his face.
 

“How can your
entire perspective on life change so radically in such a short period of time?”
he asked.
 

I assumed it was
a rhetorical question and didn’t answer.
 

“A few weeks ago
I barely knew you existed.
 
My life was
an endless progression of days with no discernable end in sight.
 
Eternity can seem even longer when an
immortal feels devoid of any real passion in life.
 
I see things so differently now, like I was
living in black and white before.
 
You
brought color into my life – and happiness.”
 
He smiled like his face wasn’t used to the sensation of it.
 
“Since my human death, I’ve had brief moments
where I’ve experienced happiness or at least I wasn’t unhappy, but nothing
real, nothing sustaining.
 
Now, when I
look into your eyes, I want to be a better person.
 
You make me want to be better, to be what you
deserve.”

“I don’t want
you to be anything other than what you are right now,” I quietly replied.

Still holding my
hand to him, he leaned back in his chair.
 

“I know – it’s
one of the reasons I love you, yet somehow it also seems completely
incomprehensible to me.
 
How could you
love a monster like me?
 
But, for some
reason, I think you actually do.
 
I wish
it could always be like this.
 
I wish it
was possible for us to just run away tonight and never come back.”

“Where would we
go?” I asked playfully.

“Does it
matter?
 
Anywhere you want.
 
Where shall it be?” he asked playing along.

He was kidding,
or so I thought.

“Well now, let’s
see … I’ve always wanted to see the South Pacific.
 
Tahiti maybe?
 
Bora Bora perhaps?”
 

Warm sands, cool water, Daniel shirtless . .
.
 

My mind started
to drift.

“They’re nice,
too touristy though.
 
I can think of a
couple of small islands in the area where the tourists don’t often go, islands
with the whitest sand you’ve ever seen.
 
When the sun hits just right, it sparkles like diamonds and it’s as soft
as powder under your toes.
 
The water is
a crystal clear blue and laps up against the shore like a gentle caress on your
skin.
 
Strolling along the sands, you can
feel the cool soothing breezes brush against your body like silk after the heat
of the sun has touched it.
 
And there are
coral reefs just off the shoreline you can swim too as well, with hundreds of
fish of just as many colors.
 
Oh, Sara,
you’d love it.”

“So when do we
leave!”

“I think your
parents would get a little upset if I whisked you away for the rest of the
semester – or longer.”

I frowned.

“Poor,
Sara.
 
You’re just going to have to be
content with this beach for the time being.”

“So speaking of
my parents –” I started, hesitant to change the subject. “I have to go home
next weekend.
 
I’m driving down first
thing Saturday morning and should be back by Sunday evening.”
 
I sighed when I saw the light leave his
eyes.
 
“I’ll try to get back as early as
I can.”

“I don’t like it
when you’re not near me,” he murmured darkly.
 

There was a
possessiveness behind his words that surprised me.
 
His grip on my hand increased and I soon
began to lose sensation in it.
 

“What’s wrong?!”
he asked, sensing my pain.

“My hand,” I
whimpered.

He quickly
released his grip only to gently cradle my injured hand in his palms.

“Did I? – ”

“It’s okay.
 
It just needs to its circulation back.”

“So fragile,” he
said softly as he stared down at my pink hand in his.
 
“It’s so easy for me to forget.”

With my other
hand I reached over and rubbed his shoulder to show him it was alright.
 

My tender monster,
I thought to myself
with a smile.
 
Irony, it seemed, might
always be an essential part of who I fundamentally was as a person.

“Too bad there
isn’t anything I can do to get even with you, but I suppose if I hit you I’d
probably just break my hand.”

He smiled.
 
I think he was getting a picture in his
mind.
 
An amusing one by the look in his
eyes.

“I’m afraid so,
but – you can do much worse than that.”
 
He looked down at my hand again, suddenly serious.

“How’s that?”

“You could leave
me.”
 

His eyes
travelled up to mine.
 
There was a
sadness behind them as if he had momentarily contemplated a life without me.

“I love you,
Sara.”
 
He paused and took a deep
breath.
 
“But you
should
leave me.
 
You should
be with someone with a heartbeat.
 
Someone who, when he kisses your velvet neck, doesn’t feel the pull of
your pulsating blood under that pink layer of skin.
 
Someone who doesn’t have to beat down a
monster inside of himself that only wants to rip that soft, delicate neck
open.
 
If I was a stronger person, I’d
find him for you, that heartbeat you should be with.
 
But I’m not.”

He was
completely serious, but I still couldn’t wrap my mind around me being a
compulsion for anyone let alone him.
 
I
stopped rocking only to get up and stand in front of the chair and look out on
the still waters.
 
I wish I felt that
calm on the inside.
 
I was anything
but.
 

After a minute,
I felt his hands reach out and gently pull me down onto his lap.
 
As I curled up against his chest, he wrapped
his arms around me, pulling me even closer.
 
This whole thing, us being together like this, was so difficult, and yet
at the same time it felt like the most natural thing in the world.
  

“Your first
kiss, huh?” I heard him ask, trying to sound all casual, but of course he
sounded anything but.

“Yes.” I said as
I nodded.

He pulled me a
little closer.
 

“Good,” was all he said, and in that one word I heard his
deep gratitude that I had waited for him.

We sat there for a long time in
silence, just feeling the pressure of our bodies against one another.
 
I was sure he could feel my heart beating and
the sound of my slow rhythmic breathing.
 
But I heard nothing from him.
 
I’d
begun to notice that he didn’t breathe all the time, like he sometimes just
forgot to.
 
I guess it wasn’t necessary
for him.
 
But still I think I preferred
it when he did.

A few times I
felt him reach up and play with a strand of my hair for a while or trace the
line of my leg across his lap with his hand.
 
Was he studying me?
 
For some
reason, I felt like he was trying to make a memory of me, one that might
sustain him when I wasn’t there anymore.
 
Something about that made me sad.
 
Maybe it was because I knew I was doing the same thing myself.
 

Taking in a deep
breath, I drank in his scent.
 
That
wasn’t the only memory I wanted to help sustain me.
 
There was also the way in which I could feel
the distinctive contours of his chest through his shirt, the way his arms felt
wrapped around me, and how our silence said volumes.
 

Was this what love was like?
 

Tabitha said she
was in love with Mike and I’d heard him say the same of her, but I’d never
sensed this kind of intimacy between them.
 
I had to wonder if this was something couples only shared in
private.
 

We sat there for
what felt like hours.
 
Slowly, I watched
as the shadows crept across the shoreline until the shade finally enveloped us
completely.
 
I was fully content to stay
where I was forever, and wouldn’t have stirred for the world if a cool breeze
hadn’t blown, causing me to instinctually move closer inside his sheltering
arms.
 

“It’s getting
late.
 
Why don’t we head back,” he
whispered into my hair, but I didn’t move.
 
I couldn’t see his face, but I could feel his smile as I curled even
closer under his arms.
 

“I can carry you all the way to the car if you like,” he
said, straightening his back as if he might do just that.
 
I stirred, leaning back from him so I could
look up at his face.
 
It looked peaceful,
like I felt.
 
Against my desires, I got
up and together we walked back to the car and slowly started our way down the
mountain.

When we got back to his house, it
was as if the unpleasant moment on our hillside that had brought such an abrupt
end to our first kiss had never happened.
 
Thankfully, our clock seemed to have reset itself as I’d hoped it would,
but even then I wondered how long it would be before he summoned the courage to
try again.

It was chilly
inside the house.
 
Most of the windows
faced east out over the lake and didn’t enjoy much of the warm rays of the
afternoon sun.
 
Coming into the main
room, I curled up on the sofa while Daniel strolled over to the fireplace and
started to pile wood in the hearth.
 
A
few minutes later, he sat down beside me and spread a blanket across my lap as
we settled in to watch the fire flicker to life.
 
Needing to feel him near, I snuggled closer
to him while I pulled the blanket higher around me.
 
I wished he felt warm pressed up beside me,
but at least he wasn’t cold.
 
Without a
word, he put his arm around me and we watched the fire, listening to the wood
snap and pop as it was slowly consumed by the flames.