The Problem With Heartache (7 page)

“I’m … I’m sure I’ll be fine.” I studied my feet and kept walking toward the bus.

“That’s what they all say …” Xander put his hand under my chin and raised it so my gaze met his. “… at the start.”

He stalked off to the bus, and I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach. Between Mr Show Biz and Mr Sleazy, I didn’t exactly feel at ease.

“Don’t worry ’bout him, Kate.” Michael threw an arm around my shoulder.

“I’m not.” I forced a smile.

“That’s not what your face says.” He winked and squeezed me tighter against him. “He can be a bit of a douche,” he whispered, “but he’s all right once you get to know him.”

We walked to the bus together, and I ignored the flash that illuminated the air behind us. At least if a photo of Michael and me hugging appeared on the front page of a paper back home, Stacey wouldn’t be concerned. She knew just how much he adored her—and it wasn’t hard to understand why. Stacey was every guy’s wet dream—beautiful, fun and sweet. If she weren’t such a good friend, I’d hate her.

Inside the bus was not as I expected. There were normal seats, plus an area down the back with a bed and a little door that led to what looked like a bathroom. Some of the seats had curtains that could be drawn around groups of two, allowing for a little privacy. Xander stalked to one near the back and immediately shoved the curtain around him. Michael laughed.

“Where should I …?” I looked at the seats and shrugged.

“Anywhere, Kate.” Lee nodded, standing in front of me. “Let me just do a few quick introductions.”

I’m about to ask ‘to who?’ when a small figure came running around Lee’s legs and toward at me at full-speed. Tiny arms wrapped around my leg and when I looked down, a cheeky little smile beamed up at me.

“Catch me.” The boy giggled. His eyes were a deep blue, and the way they twinkled just churned my heart. It was impossible not to smile in return.

“Not now, Jay.” A gorgeous blonde with long, plaited hair stood up from a seat where she must have been slumped, her hands on her hips. “What do you do when you meet new people?”

Jay’s eyes went wide. “No candy.”

This time, it was my turn to giggle. “And …?” The woman pressed, but I could see she was fighting a smile. Jay’s little face frowned, and he shoved his hand in his mouth. Suddenly, his eyes widened and he wiped his knuckle on his shirt.

“Pweased to meet you.” He shoved his hand out to my waist, and I smiled and shook it. His fingers were slimy, but it was so freaking cute I didn’t care.

“Hi, Jay. I’m Kate,” I said.

He furrowed his brow. “Your voice is funny.”

“Jay …” The woman skipped down the aisle and hoisted him up in the air, pulling him close to her. “Manners.” He buried his face in her shoulder.

“He means your accent,” Lee offered. He swung his bag into the overhead compartment and slouched down on a seat across from the one I’d seen the woman and Jay come from.

“C’mere, little buddy.” Lee stretched out his arms. Jay gave him a
look
—the kind of look that only kids can. The one that means ‘please don’t make me, strange man.’ Lottie smiled and placed her hands on Jay’s shoulders, leaning down to whisper something in his ear. Seconds later, Jay wiggled out of his mother’s embrace, throwing himself over the seat for a hug with Lee. I smirked. A rock-star image it was not.

The woman turned her attention to me, and with the mega-watt smile that graced her face, there was no doubt in my mind that Jay was her son. Their grins were identical. “Hey, I’m Lottie.”

“Hey. I’ve heard so much about you,” I said.
Just wasn’t told you had a kid, that’s all
. I silently berated Stacey for not mentioning that useful piece of information. Although I guess she only had known her for a month.

“All good, I hope.” She raised her eyebrows. “Come on, you can sit near me. That is, if you don’t mind the occasional child snores. He’s not a quiet sleeper.”

“Sure.” I walked over and placed my bag on the seat in front of hers.

Thirty minutes later, the bus was packed. Security, the band, Lottie—who I had now found out was the stylist—the driver, five dancers, the techs—three of them, because no one should have to tune their own guitar—two sound guys, one label rep—who wouldn’t be with us all the time, apparently—and four women, who sat up the front and didn’t seem to talk to anyone. They were dressed to impress, showcasing their long, golden-brown legs and exposing a fair bit of cleavage.

“Meet
the girls
,” Lottie whispered in my ear. I looked back at her, then returned my gaze to the women. Or, the teenagers. Because seriously, I doubted any of them were over eighteen.

“Who are they?” I asked, but the sinking feeling in my stomach told me I already know the answer.

“Well, at a guess, I’d say they’re Xander’s, but there’s a chance one of them might be Lee’s. They usually don’t decide till we get to the hotel.” Lottie smirked, and my eyes widened until they felt dry. What the
hell
?

“Where do they come from?”

“Everywhere.” She shrugged. “The front row at gigs … these ones they probably picked on the plane, and got Benny to go ask them if they wanted to come back with us for a while. Lee doesn’t usually indulge in that kind of thing,” Lottie said. She shot him a furtive look. Jay was sleeping against his chest. “But they come anyway.”

I blinked. This concept seemed so far removed from the Lee Collins who’d shown up at my doorstep with flowers for my mum, the Lee Collins who’d shown such concern when Lachlan …

Lachlan
.

The pain stabbed me in the chest and I nestled back in my seat, clutching at my stomach. Gosh, it was … every time it was a new wave, fresh, powerful and raw.

Lachlan, racing me in the moonlit lake.

Lachlan, telling me his secrets.

Lachlan, his body against mine.

His body against mine …

“Kate.” Lee’s hand was on my arm, giving it a gentle shake. I gasped for air, clutching at my heart, which was pounding at a million miles per minute. He put his other hand on my shoulder, staring at me with his steady blue gaze. “Breathe, Kate. Breathe.”

In-out-in-out-in-out.

In, out.

In, out.

Finally, the air got thinner, easier to suck in. My heart returned to its normal plodding pace. Everything was going to be okay.
Everything
.

“S … sorry,” I stuttered.

“It’s fine.” Lee dropped one hand but the other stayed on my arm, rubbing tiny circles. They made me feel warm. Safe. “You just started shaking, and I was saying your name but you wouldn’t answer.”

I shook my head. I didn’t remember any of it.

How can I help with the tour if I blank out like this?

“You okay, sweets?” The smell of pink bubble gum invaded my nostrils, and I turned and saw Lottie’s head poke over the top of my chair. She tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Stacey told me you’ve gone through some … rough times. I’m here for you, if you need it.”

I swallowed and pressed my eyes shut.
Please don’t make me talk about it.

“I was just saying, come sit by me for a bit. We’ll go over your role and responsibilities,” Lee said, but at Lottie’s glare, countered with, “when you’re ready. You guys … you guys stay here and talk it out. Whatever you need.”

He nodded and stood up, backing away to his own seat where Jay was sleeping peacefully.

“Sometimes it’s good to have a little girl time.” Lottie smiled and stroked my hair again. It was a lovely gesture, but coming from someone I’d met only seconds ago, it offered little comfort. “I’m here for you, if you need it.”

“I think I’ll go talk to L … Lee.”
Shit
. Almost slipped. “You know, get my mind off things.”

Lottie nodded, but something flashed in her eyes. I wondered if I’d hurt her feelings. “No worries, lovely.” She gave me another brilliant smile. “When you come back we can talk some.”

I pushed over my chairs and walked toward Lee, whose attention was fixed firmly on his phone. As I sat next to him, he shoved it in his pocket, way too quickly in my opinion.

“So, let’s talk about what you’ll be doing for the next few months.” Lee grabbed a manila folder from the pocket at the rear of the chair in front of him. He had to stretch forward to do it; this was no ordinary cramped bus. Each seat looked as if it could move to a full recline before it came close to touching the one in front or behind it. “Now, I’ve made a list of all the stops on the tour in here. This will become your bible. The only thing you’ll need more than this on your trip here, is
this
.”

At that, he rifled around in the seat pocket again and pulled out a shiny black cell phone. “Obviously, your phone won’t work here, so we got you this. Keep it with you at all times. Seriously, take it with you when you pee.”

“Guys, can you keep it down?” Michael groaned from somewhere behind us. “Some of us are trying to get some sleep.”

“Suck it up, Aussie,” Lottie yelled with a smile, but she pronounced it “Ossie” and I stifled a giggle.

“Hey! I just came off twenty hours on a plane,
Yankee
,” Michael grumbled. “Have some goddamn sympathy.”

Lee stood up, taking the phone and the folder with him. “Come on.” He stepped one long leg between mine, and just for a second, he looked down at me. Something burned in his eyes, and for a moment I felt it burning in mine too, then lower down. I stared at the part where my thighs encased it. He was warm, and the heat ran up my legs, pooling in my apex. I pressed my lips together. I could reach out and touch—

Then everything seemed to snap back into normal time and he stepped his other leg forward and removed the offending limb from its treacherous position. I clamped my knees shut, and swallowed.
Shit.

“Come on.” Lee jerked his head toward the bed at the back of the bus. “We’ll work in there. We can close the door, so we don’t disturb the kids.”

“
Good
,” Michael grunted, and I couldn’t help but wonder if Stacey put him up to this in the hope Lee would suggest such a solution. I wouldn’t put it past my best friend to try and get me in bed with a rock star the first day on the job.

Lee extended his hand to me and I took it. His hand was cool to the touch, and I swear it trembled just a little as he wrapped my fingers in his hold. His grip was firm, comforting … but it was too big. It wasn’t Lachlan’s hand. Lachlan’s fingers, that fit perfectly to mine …

No. Focus on the now.
As much as I wanted to think about Lachlan until every breath of his was relived in my mind, I couldn’t do it. Not at this moment. Instead, I stood and the bus swerved, sending me flying forward into Lee’s chest. It was hard, rock solid, and I looked up to see those fierce blue eyes staring back at me again.

His hand wasn’t cool now.

It was scorching hot.

“Don’t forget to tell her about the media commitments, Lee.”

Xander’s words snapped me out of my reverie, and I looked to his closed curtain and smiled. I stole my hand into my jeans pocket. God, what was I doing? I’d just gotten off a plane after a twenty-hour trip. I probably stank, and looked like fresh hell. His hand was probably heating with repulsion at this sweaty girl in front of him.

“Of course,” Lee said. He started to walk down the bus, giving Lottie’s shoulder a small squeeze as he passed her. “I would never forget.”

Heat flamed my cheeks. Turned out he wasn’t even close to hitting on me. Lee Collins just happened to be the world’s most touchy-feely guy.

As if to prove my point, as we walked down the bus aisle Lee squeezed Jay’s shoulder, bro-punched Michael through his curtain and even somehow managed to coerce Xander into sticking out his hand for a high-five. Yep. The guy liked skin-on-skin contact.

I shook my head, trying to delete all thoughts of less-than-appropriate skin-on-skin contact that just flashed their way in my mind.

Lee shut the door behind me and gestured to the bed. I sat on the edge, almost afraid to ruin the crisp grey quilt.

Clearly, Lee had no such concerns, and he slid across the top of the mattress, stretching his body along it. Holy hell, this guy was long. I knew he was tall, but something about the way he stretched out, graceful but kind of dangerous at the same time … His T-shirt bunched up, and I caught a glimpse of tanned abs staring back at me. I licked my lips. One word—wow.

“Here.” Lee had his phone in his hand. He pressed a few buttons and then handed it over to me.

I looked down. The screen was lit up with a photo of him and the rest of the band—sans Michael, old bass player in place—on the cover of
Rolling Stone
magazine. Lee was at the forefront, shirtless, his black denim jeans slung low, designer underwear on display. Ink rippled up his arms and down his sides, over those washboard abs I’d gotten a preview of just a moment earlier, and—

Wait.

I looked up. Lee was smirking at me, a devilish twist of his lips. “Instead of saying you could take a picture, I thought I’d show you one instead.”