The Problem With Heartache (32 page)

We were meant to be together, Carly and me.

Two mouths should never meet as perfectly as ours.

Our bodies rolled into one, and soon Carly and I rolled beneath the sheets, her giggling as I traced my tongue up her neck. Her naked body writhed beneath mine and I slipped my hand between her legs, feeling how ready she was for me.

“I love you, Carly,” I said into her hair, and she stilled, froze beneath me.

“Hmm?” She pulled back to study my face.

“I love you, Carly Watts. You are just … I want to be with you forever.” And we would be, Carly and I. We were meant to be.

Carly wrapped her arms behind my head and raked her fingers through my hair, pulling my lips down to crash over hers. Her tongue danced in my mouth and I moved myself so I was positioned to slide into her, feel her surrounding me, making me complete.

I pinned her arm down above her head and then moved my hand to cup her breast, caress her nipple, and then give it a little flick until it was a stiff peak beneath me. She gasped, thrusting forward to meet my touch. “Make love to me, Lee, from Coal,” she breathed, and I slowly lowered myself into her, losing myself between her legs until we both stilled, lost in the ecstasy of our union.

I looked down. Carly’s green eyes blazed up at me, her blonde locks splayed over the pillow on the bed, and emotion swelled in my heart. “I love you so much.”

Something akin to a tear glossed Carly’s eye, but then she rolled her hips, and I had no more time to look at her eyes, think about emotions, or anything greater than the here and the now, and the way our bodies were joining together.

We moved faster, sweat helping our bodies slide in perfect unison against each other until she pushed against my shoulders, rolling me sideways so she could be on top. I loved this; loved her riding me, looking down at me with so much emotion behind that gaze.

“God, Carly!” I yelled as I climaxed, pulsing inside of her, feeling her clench around me.

“Lee …” She panted, her heavy breath matching my own.

Neither of us heard the door open.

Neither of us saw him until he was right beside us.

“What the fuck.” It was a low growl, deep and filled with menace. Worse, it was a growl I most definitely recognised.

Carly stilled.

I froze.

“Carly, get dressed and get in the car,” he ordered, and Carly’s face whitened as she jumped off me, scrambling to find her clothes.

“Ryan I—” she started.

“Shut up,” he snarled, his stare fixed on me.

I pulled the sheets up to cover my body, hiding my nudity from his intense gaze. All the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. Carly’s on-again, off-again boyfriend.
She hadn’t meant me.

Her initial hesitation to meet my kiss, despite our intense chemistry. The look on her face whenever I’d speak about him.

Because Carly and I weren’t meant to be, after all.

Carly was meant to be with someone else.

My brother.

Fuck.

Present day ...

Dear Lee,

I get it. You’re not interested. That’s totally fine. I didn’t take this job so we could be together.

But you know what? What you did to me the other day sucked.
You
hit on
me.
You kissed me, Lee.
You kissed me.
And to then make me feel like this worthless piece of nothing?

I’d thought you were better than that. For a split second, I’d thought you really cared, but someone who liked me would never have done that, and you know what? I deserve better. I deserve someone who will fight, be proud to be by my side.

Kate

Another night, another party, only this time it was different. This time, I was sitting alone with Benny while I pretended not to be watching Kate dancing with Lottie, not to be watching Kate doing shots with Michael, not to be watching Kate laughing and touching Xander’s arm. At that, I frowned. He was no good for her. Xander wasn’t that kind of guy.

“You all right?” Benny asked me, I gave him a wan smile.

“Yeah, man.” I nodded. “Just tired …”

“And a little bit in love with that girl over there?” He tilted his head in Kate’s direction and I wanted to kick myself.

“I don’t really …” I trailed off and tilted my head back. It was
Benny.
He knew.

“’Fraid so.” Benny smiled, not unkindly. “Look, I figured it was a thing. You buy the woman trainers, you send her secret love letters—”

“Dude, they’re not love letters.” I slapped his chest. I thought of the one I still hadn’t given her, where I more or less told her how I felt. “Besides, it doesn’t matter how I feel. I can’t—I can’t do relationships right now.”

“Because of what happened with …?” Benny trailed off.

“Because …” I paused, then decided to do something different for a change. To tell the truth. “Because, yeah. I ruined three relationships. And I don’t deserve to be happy.”

“Oh, come on!” Benny laughed, slapping me on the arm. “That’s the most self-pitying bullshit I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s true.” I shrugged. “I don’t deserve to be happy. And even if I did, there’s another … well, I don’t know. All I know is it’s complicated.”

Benny narrowed his eyes but didn’t question me further. “Well, I think you’re not trying hard enough.”

“Believe me, I would if I thought it would amount to anything.”

Benny leaned closer to me, and a serious look washed over his face. “Could you see yourself ending up together?”

I thought about it. Thought long and hard. Because no, I couldn’t really see that. I was going to die alone. It was something I’d resigned myself to a long time ago.

“You need to decide if she’s worth it, Lee. Because the look in your eyes tells me she is.” Benny leaned back in his seat and I looked across the room again, searching for Kate. I couldn’t see her anywhere.

“You’re a lost cause, brother.” Benny laughed as I moved from side to side, trying to seek her out.

Then I spotted her. In the corner next to the bar, Xander by her side. His hand was on her lower back; she laughed at something he said, touched him on the chest.

He looked up at me.

And he winked.

“I’ll be right back.” I excused myself and flew to my feet, striding across the room with one person in my vision. How the hell could he do that when he knew, he had to know how I felt about Kate? Granted, I’d never said so much, but he knew how much time I’d been spending with her, had heard me tell him not to touch her before, even if I’d been stupidly off-my-face. My blood boiled and when I’d finally pushed my way over to them, I was ready to ignite.

“What the hell are you doing, Xan?” I folded my arms across my chest, staring him down.

“Um … what the hell is your problem?” Xander pulled his lips back, a questioning expression on his face.

“You know Kate is off-limits.” I nailed him with a firm glare.

“Dude, we were talking.” Xander frowned.

“Talking, my ass.” I shook my head, and I knew I sounded like a crazy person, but I just couldn’t stop. “You winked at me, for crying out loud.”

“Oh, shit, did I? I winked! I broke the cardinal rule of brotherhood and winked at you. How the hell dare I?” Xander mocked.

“You can’t just treat her like one of your whores,” I spat.

“Um, guys, I’m right here!” Kate muscled her way between us and placed one hand on each of our chests, turning to me. “This is ridiculous. Lee, Xander wasn’t trying to hit on me.” She turned to Xander, looking him in the eyes. “Xander, Lee—”

But she didn’t get to finish that sentence. She didn’t get to finish because Xander, the double-crossing bastard, swooped in and kissed her, jerking her body against his with both of his hands, her tiny waist pressed up against him.

“Xander!” Kate shrieked and pushed away.

It was a good thing, too. She moved, allowing me just enough time to lay a solid punch, right in Xander’s jaw.

I was getting good at this whole violence thing these days.

X
ANDER STAGGERED
back, grasping his jaw. A small speck of blood spilt from the corner of his split lip, and I swear my eyes fell out of my head.

“What the hell?” Xander yelled. I looked around. The club had fallen silent, the dance beats in the background the only noise as people stared at us, at the spectacle that was Coal falling apart.

“I told you not to touch her, and you ignored me,” Lee shouted, his chest rising and falling with each heavy breath he took.

“What does it matter to you?” The words fled from my lips, and I wished I could take them back almost as soon as they had. “You don’t like me, Lee. For whatever reason, I’m not yours.”

Lee’s lips thinned out to a line as fire raged in his eyes. “You think that’s the case? You really think that I hired you, hung out with you, protected you from the paps, fucking
kissed you
, but I don’t like you?”

The words rocked me to my core. “I …”

“She told me everything. You made her feel like shit. What was she supposed to think, dude?” Xander hissed.

“Exactly,” I snapped. “You don’t like me, and if you do, you have a fucked-up way of showing it.”

My pulse thudded at my wrist, each beat causing a minor ache, and I turned on my heel and stormed out of there, past the security guards at the entrance to our section, down the stairs, past the general club-goers who all stared at me, as if I were every bit as famous as Lee and Xander and Michael. And I guess, in that moment I was. Phones clicked and flashes went off, but all I could do was keep marching, all the way out front until I flagged down a cab and rode back to the hotel.