The Problem With Heartache (22 page)

Dear Kate,

Nothing to spill. I had too much to drink. I’m sorry I was a dick to you this morning, too. That won’t happen again. What I said about my brother? It wasn’t real. It was a lie.

Sometimes, I feel as if my life is filled with half-truths. I mean, they say I’m the lead singer of this hugely successful band, right? But how successful am I when my father is in a home and my mother and I haven’t spoken in a year?

Sorry to burden you with this. I just feel … I feel like you get it.

Like you get me.

Lee

Dear Lee,

Call your mum.

Kate

P.S. I know it’s not that simple. I know that things rarely are, and I’m sure that if it was, you’d have done it already. I don’t know though, from things I’ve heard the guys say … I wonder if you’re even trying to be happy? Or are you punishing yourself for some imaginary sin?

“Kate was asking if you had a brother.” The words shouldn’t have surprised me, but they did. It meant she didn’t buy my brush-off, and worse—it meant she was trying to find out more.

“Yeah?” I took a swig of my beer and leaned back in the spa Xander and I were relaxing in on the balcony of my private suite. We were both wearing board shorts, I should add. There was nothing man-love about this.

“Yeah. Wanted to know if you had one.” Xander took a pull of his beer, looking out and studying the strip, the lights beginning to flick on and shine against the slowly pinkening sky.

“What’d you say?” I studied Xander, my oldest friend. Fuck, probably my only friend.

“What do you think?” The look he gave me was deadpan, and loaded with weight. “But dude … you know she shouldn’t be asking me that.”

I nodded, way too quickly. “I know, bro.” A sigh escaped my lips. “I know.”

“After last night, how are things with you and—”

“Fine,” I barked. “She’s not heaps impressed, but things could be worse.”

“At least you didn’t go home with that slut—”

“Don’t.” My voice was fierce, and Xander cringed. I didn’t blame him; I never snapped. I was on edge today. I was tired, and I was angry, and I sure as shit didn’t have time to deal with his personal questions. Questions I didn’t even really know the answer to myself.

“I’m getting a beer,” Xander muttered, and he stood up, water dripping from his body as he headed over to the mini bar fridge.

I leaned over and checked my phone for the tenth time today. Benny had said he’d had trouble sneaking into her room to find out her shoe size, and I needed a progress report. Luckily, this was Vegas. Even if he didn’t find out till ten o’clock at night, I’d still be able to go out and get some.

The screen was blank, and I leaned back against the spa edge and sighed, trying to relax my muscles. Things were a little rough now, but they’d be fine. They’d get better. I was going to be a friend to Kate, by only doing friendly activities with her. No more shirts-off stuff. No more coming home from a club with her, even if I didn’t consciously choose to do so. And then hopefully, she’d forget what I’d told her and wouldn’t ask any more questions. Questions were dangerous.

Questions I couldn’t afford.

“So Kate took you back to your room, huh?” Xander asked, his head in the mini bar.

“Yep.”

“Anything …?”

I sighed. “No.” The spa bubbled away and I adjusted my back, the pressure from the jet shooting into it and loosening my sore as shit muscles from sleeping on the goddamn couch. “And besides … you know I couldn’t be with her, anyway.”

“She’s a pretty special girl, Lee.” Xander stood and looked me in the eye. “I’ve seen the way you look at her. I know that—”

“Knock, knock.” Kate barged into the room, despite her vocal knocking. I glanced at Xander, but he’d clamped his mouth shut, and Kate wasn’t acting as if anything were amiss. She was all cheerful and businesslike again, as she usually was. No longer was she wearing that depressed-looking face she’d had on this morning.

“Kate.” Xander gave her a nod. “Wanna beer?”

“I’m good, thanks.” She shook her head, and Xander walked up to her and handed her a soda anyway.

“You wanna come for a swim?” He jerked his head toward the spa.

“I don’t have anything to wear.” Kate smiled and looked at her feet. I shook my head. She walked right into that one.

“That’s okay, babe,” Xander husked, placing one wet arm around her shoulders. Droplets of water stained the pale blue of Kate’s top. I studied the water bubbling in front of me. “You can go naked.”

“Get off.” Kate shrugged Xander away from herself, dusting the drops from her shoulders, and then further made life trickier for herself by uttering those four, far-from-innocent words. “You’re getting me wet.”

“What can I say?” Xander gave her a lascivious wink. “I’m just that kinda guy.”

Kate’s face contorted in rage, and a tiny, little piece of me twisted. She was so freaking cute …

Get it together, Lee.
I had to get out of there.

“And on that note, I think I’m gonna go to the bar.” I stood up from the spa and grabbed the towel sitting behind me, wiping my face and chest down before I stepped out of the pool. “Leave you two lovebirds to it.”

I grabbed a shirt and my phone and walked toward the door, stopping only when Kate thrust an envelope into my hands. “I actually came here to give you this.”

It was plain white, A5 in size, and had my name scrawled across the front in a messy handwriting. But it wasn’t her handwriting. “Who’s it from?”

Kate gave a small shake of her head. “I don’t know. Doesn’t say.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled. I stepped out into the hallway, leaving Kate and Xander still in the room, only to run into Lottie.
Seriously? Can this day get any better?

“How are you?” Lottie placed a concerned hand on my arm. “You had a big one.”

“Yeah. I didn’t … I went home with Kate. And she left me on the couch.
Alone
.” I pressed my eyes closed. Lottie stood close to me, too close, and I freaking wished she wouldn’t do that. “Look, I gotta …” I waved the envelope and started walking farther down the hall, leaving her standing there with a bewildered expression on her face.

As soon as I was a safe enough distance away, I tore at the paper and pulled out the contents. A sick feeling gnawed at the insides of my belly, ate away at me, and I knew before I read the letter that it wasn’t going to be good. Letters from unidentified senders never were.

It was a photo, a big, full-colour photo of Kate and me. It must have been taken the night before at the club, because I didn’t remember seeing that nook near the lift, and I sure as shit didn’t remember rubbing my face in Kate’s boobs. There were three pictures all together, a sequence shot that made it very clear that it was indeed me with Kate, and each one looked more incriminating than the last. In one, it almost looked like she was holding my head there, pressing me against herself, while I knew she was in reality probably making sure I didn’t spew on her perfectly formed tits, I couldn’t help but give a small smile.

Then I found the note.

This goes to the hottest gossip mags in town if you don’t bring me 10 grand. Carry it with you at the press conference in three days’ time. Wait for my further instruction.

Blood boiled up through my veins, its fiery tendrils licking at my soul. The air was burst from my lungs and I span, slamming my fist into the wall next to me. My knuckles cracked on impact, and chips of paint flickered down to the ground. It stung, but not enough to counterbalance the raw knife of pain slicing through me. How dare they? God, the media harassing me was one thing, but I couldn’t have Kate implicated in this too.

“Fuck,” I whispered, and pressed my forehead to the wall. I was hung-over, fighting an attraction to the girl I couldn’t have, and now this. What the hell was I going to do?

Some moments were so low you thought they couldn’t get any worse. When everything had reached its depth of depravity, or horror, of downright nasty and that the only way was up, my friends, because how could you sink any deeper than hell?

I looked up. Down the hall I saw Lottie, shaking her head at me as she walked into her room, an expression of disappointment on her face.

Then I saw Kate. Her skin was pale and there was a look of fear in her eyes that was so very real, I could almost touch it. I’d scared the living fuck out of the only person I’d told the truth to.

I’d killed my brother.

I did the only thing I could.

I punched the damn wall again.