The Problem With Crazy (20 page)

I
f I had, would I have realised it?

“I’m glad you like it.” I felt Lachlan link his hand with mine again and give it a tiny, reassuring squeeze. “Because you’re about to go skinny-dipping.”

“What?” I grabbed my hand back, clutching it to my chest. Was he out of his mind? I turned to face him, ready to slap him from cheek to shoulder, and was met with that infuriating grin of his.

“What? You haven’t done it before, have you?” Lachlan laughed, his eyes giggling with him.

“I haven’t even had
sex
before, I doubt—” I clapped my hand over my mouth.

“Well, we can add that to the list for later.” Lachlan smiled, then quickly added, “Kidding! Kidding!” when I shot him a murderous look.

I bit my lip. If I were honest with myself, part of me wanted to try it. I’d never been skinny-dipping before, even though I knew it was pretty much a rite of passage for every teenager in town.

But what if this guy was a creep? What if this was all some weird ploy to see me naked?

A really sexy creep …

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Lachlan stepped back. “But it’s something I’ve never done. So, if you could please turn around …”

“Why?”

“I’m getting naked,” Lachlan said the words slowly, like it was painfully obvious. I cringed and turned my back to him, burying my head in my hands in case my facing the opposite direction wasn’t enough. My eyes had grown accustomed to the light, and I knew I could have made out his naked body if I’d been looking.

If.

How did this happen? Two hours ago I was furious after another shitty counselling appointment, feeling all pent up and stressed about my neuro and psych appointments, and now I was trying to decide if I would go skinny dipping with a boy I’d only just met who had nice arms and beautiful eyes and a really hard chest and—oh.

This was not good, at all.

I heard a loud splash and spun around. The water’s surface was broken, large ripples spreading out near the rocks. Seconds later, Lachlan’s head and shoulders surfaced above the lake, his brown hair plastered to his face.

“I’m going to swim over there.” Lachlan tilted his head toward the opposite corner of the pool. “In case this water is a little more see-through than I think.” He dived under the surface, and I smiled, knowing he knew full well I couldn’t see a thing under the deep black, cover.

He dived and surfaced, floating every now and then. I sat down on a rock and studied my hands, checked my phone, listened to the waterfall. But, for some reason, I wasn’t as lost in the magic as I was before. And I wouldn’t look at Lachlan; I
couldn’t
. It was like he wanted me to, and I wouldn’t let him have the satisfaction.

I checked my phone and noted the time: 10:03 pm. We’d been there for an hour. I’d have to think about heading home soon. My fingers scraped my thigh and I gave it a little pinch. Home, to Dad and Mum, before it reached curfew and Mum lost it. Although that made me
wonder when
was the last time Mum lost it with me?

When was the last time I took a risk?

And how bad would taking one really be?

Without time to think about what I was doing, I stripped off my clothes, leaving them in a pile near the rock. I didn’t dare look to see if Lachlan was checking me out, instead focusing on speed and precision as I rid myself of the items like stripping was an Olympic event before splashing into the pool, all within the space of ten seconds.

The water was icy cold, numbing every part of my body except my head. There, it felt cool, refreshing against the heat that had been surrounding it. I pushed the water back and swam deep, deeper, until I felt my lungs bursting for air, like they couldn’t hold any longer. I turned and kicked up to the surface, paying close attention to the way the water felt on every inch of my body. It was such a different sensation than showering, or swimming in a bikini, even though I knew both were incredibly similar. Something about this was just—something about this was free.

“It’s great, right?” Lachlan’s voice surprised me, coming from much closer than I’d imagined. His naked body. Right there. I rubbed the water from my eyes, thankful I wasn’t wearing mascara.

“The best.” I grinned back at him. He was an arm’s length away, and I wondered what would happen if our legs met while we trod water to stay afloat. If they would tangle, bringing us closer together.

What his arms would feel like, pulling me to him, pressing my bare chest against his in the almost blackness of the night.

“Race you!” He gave a wicked grin and ducked under the water, freestyling like mad to the side of the pool where we’d dove in. I took a deep breath and followed, thankful he’d snapped those crazy thoughts from my mind.

He beat me—by ages, of course—but when I got there I called a rematch, and we went again, powering after each other through the pool, over and over until my arms were so sore, and my breath so caught in my chest.

I forgot where I was, what had happened with my family, the fact that I was naked … It was like nothing existed but the here, and the now, and this burning exhaustion in my chest, and this exuberant joy bursting throughout the rest of my body.

“I …” I started to say. I looked at his eyes, hope in them, like he expected me to call another race. All of a sudden, the whole situation seemed so funny—skinny-dipping swimming races with a virtual stranger in the dark—that a big bubble of laughter worked its way up my throat and blurted out my mouth.

“What?” Lachlan said. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s just—the race—and the—oh, God …” I couldn’t contain it. Mirth rose through my chest and I laughed, the sort of crazy hysterical laughter that was obviously catching, as soon Lachlan joined me, too, and we were two idiots losing our minds, treading water in a pool in the middle of the night.

“I’m—I’m hopping out, now.” I bit my lip when our laughter finally evaporated into shallow gasps for air. “Can you …?”

“Of course.” I saw something flash in Lachlan’s eyes. My stomach tingled, or was it slightly lower down? I wanted to see that flash again, so I swum closer, until his face was so close to mine I could see the droplets on his forehead, the way his hair was slicked to his head.

I parted my lips slightly. It was all I could do not to wrap my legs around him. He lifted one hand and pressed a finger to my lips. It was shrivelled and wet.

“I’ll turn around now.” He turned his back and put his hands over his eyes for good measure.

I trod my way to the edge of the pool until I felt the slimy surface of mud and rock beneath my feet.

“Ew!” I shrieked as my foot slipped deeper into the mud. “This is so gross.”

“I know,” Lachlan said, hands still clamped firmly over his eyes. I waded out of the pool and ran over to my clothes, struggling to get them on.

Once I was dressed, I felt almost more exposed than before. My hair was a mess, and I was sure the water had washed off whatever foundation I’d had left on. I wasn’t one of those Victoria’s Secret model-types who looked hot when they were wet. I felt even more naked than I had in the water.

“Your turn,” I sang in a voice that wasn’t nearly as confident as I felt. I turned my back to him and studied the leafy floor. No covering my eyes this time.

“’Kay,” he said, and I tried to ignore the sound of water slapping against his skin and imagining what it would look like if I turned around.

I wasn’t going to. There were a million reasons why we wouldn’t work, such as the whole Huntington’s thing. And if he were into me, wouldn’t he have made a move while I was naked in the pool with him?

Wouldn’t that have been the perfect time?

“Kate?” Lachlan interrupted my internal struggle.

“Yeah?”

“Did you have fun?”

“Yeah.” I smiled. If nothing else, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed so hard.

“Would you do it again?”

I paused. Would I do it again? I didn’t know. Probably not. How could anything ever be better than this perfect moment here?

“No.”

“Okay.” I heard him step closer to me, his feet squelching against the mulch underneath, the light of his phone illuminating my feet. “But it was a new experience worth trying.”

I
CALLED
and made my neurologist appointment a few days later, needing to make progress with the testing process. My voice scratched when I booked, as if I was on a bad line. It didn’t help that I’d seen an article about Dave dating Lee Collins’s girlfriend (now, presumably ex-girlfriend) in the newspaper
and
I hadn’t heard from Johnny or Lachlan regarding new shifts at the café.

Not that it mattered, of course. Lachlan and I were just mates, and mates didn’t stress when they hadn’t heard from each other in two days. Or two days, twelve hours and eighteen minutes.

Did they?

Maybe that’s why I found myself pulling into the lot at Sideways later that week, Dad by my side. I opened the door to the café and quickly ushered him to a table in the corner, trying to create as little fuss as possible. The place was busy today, the three pm caffeine-addicted crowd settling in. I prayed Dad wouldn’t do anything to embarrass me.

I walked up to the counter to order and was surprised to be met by Johnny instead of Lachlan.

“Hey, where’s Lachlan?”

Cringe.
Could I be more obvious?

“He took the afternoon off.” Johnny nodded at the crowded room before him. “Of all the days though, right?”

“Right,” I agreed. “Oh, just a milkshake and a flat white, please.”

“No problem-o,” he said, quickly pressing a few buttons on the machine to no doubt keep the orders coming. “Put that money away. We can do staff drinks.” He gave me a wink, and I smiled back.

“So, speaking of, I never heard from you about another shift, and I …”

“Oh! Of course, yeah, right, I forgot to call you.” Johnny slapped his forehead. “Sorry, mate, I’ve been flat-out here. But could you come in? Like, next Tuesday?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s fine. What time?” I felt like an idiot. He’d just been busy, and now he probably thought I’d hunted him down in his place of work to find out more. What was wrong with me?

Oh, yeah, that’s right. Potential Huntington’s disease.

“Maybe from ten till close? You can shift with me, Lach is off again,” he said. “Now go sit down, I’ll bring these out when they’re ready.”

I smiled my thanks and headed back to the table where I pulled out the chair across from Dad. Just the two of us. Having a drink.

Leslie would be proud.

“So, what’d you get up to yesterday?” I asked brightly. Dad didn’t so much as make eye contact with me. He kept his gaze glued to the table in front of him where he was playing with a saltshaker, tipping it from side to side in his hand. He’d tilt left, and all the tiny white crystals would slide down the glass tube. He’d tilt right and they’d fly that way, stopping when he covered the holes on top with his palm to prevent spillage. Then he’d lose control, drop the shaker, or his arm would jerk out again.

Process and repeat.

“Dad?” I spoke a little louder in case he couldn’t hear me over the salt.

Nothing.

Side to side.

Palm to tube.

“We’re supposed to be trying.” I spoke the words quietly, and slumped back in my seat. At least I’d given it a shot. Ten points for me at my next counselling session.

“Trying?”

Of course.
That
he heard.

“Trying to act normal.” He put the saltshaker down.

I studied my father, his thinning dark hair that glinted auburn in the warm afternoon sun. Wasn’t it obvious? What other way would we be trying to act?

“This is normal.” He slurred just the slightest bit when he spoke, but the words were coherent, at least. I finally understood that saying about being grateful for small mercies.

“Okay, so how was your day yesterday?” I tried again.

Silence.

He picked up the saltshaker and started twisting and turning it again, humming a tune under his breath. I shook my head, ever so slightly. How could I try when he acted like this? In and out, like washing blowing on the line, like one of those bobbing birds that reach for the water. Now you see him, now you don’t.