The Princess's Bride (10 page)

Daisy began to back away as the mayor and his wife made a circled around Humphrey.

Daisy was swallowed up into the crowd and peeked over her shoulder to make sure her over amorous beau didn't follow her. She saw that he had lifted his head, much like a dog sniffing out a fox. He was still being embraced by the woman who had so rudely interrupted them.

"Thank goodness for small favors," Daisy mumbled happily and grabbed a glass of lemonade from a passing waiter. She walked as fast as she could on her slippers out the French doors and onto the balcony for some much-needed air.

She nodded to some small groups of people who stood drinking from flutes and glasses and talking to one another. Daisy was very glad no one went out of their way to bother her. She walked along the long marble balcony, sipping her drink. She lifted her face up to the night's sky, enjoying the cool breeze as it drifted over her flushed skin. Her diamond ring glistened as the moon and the light from the lit torches surrounded her. Daisy massaged the nape of her neck and grimaced. She still felt very warm.

"Lord Humphrey!"

Daisy stepped into a far corner of the balcony as someone near the entrance called out for him.

"Damn." Daisy let out the un-ladylike curse, placed her empty glass on the ground, and looked around for a means of escape. She only wanted a few more minutes alone until she had to put back on a smile and welcome the congratulations that would surely follow once her engagement was publicized. She stared out into the darkness of the garden and found some marble steps that led down to a paved path.

Freedom!
With one last glance over her shoulder, she stepped down and rushed away.

The tall bushes and trees lining the path covered her flight. She would find a bench to sit upon, and then, with a clearer head, would return, resigned to her future.

Daisy walked deeper into the garden and turned a corner, when she was met by a wonderful sight. Off to her left was a tall white gazebo standing near a small lake with lily pads floating on the surface. She walked to the edge of the pond and almost jumped as an owl let out a long hoot.

A light breeze floated along her hair, and she brushed a curl behind her ear. Looking up, Daisy enjoyed the sight of the bright stars above. A few clusters of clouds also floated in the distance.

Her eyes grew damp and her bottom lip trembled. It had been so long since she’d spent time sitting under tree without a care, trying to spot animals in the clouds. The last time she had done so was when she was seventeen. Since then she’d lost all joy in doing such things.

A tear dripped down her cheek and she wiped it away. She folded her hands against her chest and stared up at the sky again, noticing a bright star twinkling at her. She couldn't help but wonder if Chelsey was also standing somewhere as tranquil, overcome with loneliness as she viewed the stars and clouds high above her head.

"Chelsey, oh my Chelsey... goodbye forever." Her voice broke the silence. She had said that name in such longing before, only daring to say it out loud late at night when she was in her bed, dreaming of her lost love.

A few more tears rolled down her cheeks, and with one final sob, she wiped them and turned to go. As she spun around, a hand grabbed her arm and something musty and scratchy was pushed against her face.

Daisy screamed and struggled, trying to pull the horrible-smelling material away as firm hands pulled her by her waist. She released a muffled scream and heard a low growl. Before she could kick and punch her assailant, something hard hit the side of the cheek and then the back of her head.

Daisy exhaled and passed out.

****

"Fins on a fish, Captain! Someone beat us to it," Mister Martin said softly as he and Dread watched across the pond as their booty was dragged away.

"Shit." Dread cursed and flinched when the young woman fell to the ground after her attacker punched her in the face. She held up her gun, but she didn't have a clear shot since the mystery man had wrapped the unconscious woman in a burlap sack and thrown her over his shoulder. He ran away and deeper into the woods.

"What do we do now, Captain? Do we rescue her? What if that isn't Humphrey's fiancée?

I can't see jack shite in the dark." Mister Martin squinted and snuck out from behind the leaves to follow their prey.

"It has to be her. Did you see the amount of diamonds sparkling on her neck and the rock on her finger? Those have to be the Humphrey family jewels." Dread looked around, treading softly alongside Mister Martin.

"But that doesn't necessarily mean anything. She could be any rich lady wearin' fancy bobs."

Dread and Martin hid behind a tree as they spotted two horses. A person wearing a dark cloak stood by them.

"It's 'bout time, you lummox."

Dread shared a look with Martin when she recognized the voice. "How in the hell did those two know about this?" she whispered.

Martin just shrugged.

****

Jimmy rushed over to his sister with Daisy slung over his shoulder. He huffed loudly and pulled her off. "Sorry, sis, but I had to wait until the gel was alone. Walked right into my hands, she did." He smiled, pleased at his results.

Judie pulled off her hood and stood there with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot.

"Take off the sack. We need to make sure she's Humphrey's chicky."

Jimmy pulled off the sack and Daisy's head lolled. Judie pulled Daisy up by her hair and stared down into her face. "Did yah have to hit her so hard? We need her breathing."

"She was yellin' something fierce. I only gave her a light tap on the cheek and back of the head, I did."

His sister shook her head. She took off Daisy's ring and grabbed hold of her necklace.

She pulled it off and held it up to her face. "Cor, would yah get a load of this sparkle. Oh wee!"

She dropped the necklace and ring into her skirt pocket and took hold of the horse's reigns.

"Hurry up and get on yer horse. We better leave before Humphrey figures out his bride has gone missin'."

Jimmy nodded and threw Daisy face-first over the horse while he climbed into the saddle.

When he was settled, he pulled her up and held her in a tight grip. "This one sure is purty. Can I play with her a little when we get to the shore cabin?"

Judie climbed onto her horse. "There are important things we got to do first. We need to settle in and write the ransom note. After that, you can taste some of that fresh virgin putang.

Maybe I'll give her a few nibbles myself. Come, we ride." She clicked her heels against her horse's flank. Jimmy did the same, and they galloped away to their hideout.

****

Dread and Martin stepped out from behind the tree. "Do you think they're going to Old Man Sal's shack near the sand dunes?" Martin asked.

"I wouldn't put it past those two. Let's get our horses and follow them at a distance. They are completely oblivious. We should have no problem taking back what's ours."

"Right on it." Martin began to turn but then stopped. "Captain, will we being stormin' the shack? It's been a while since we stormed a building."

Dread tapped her fingers on her belt. "That would be fun, wouldn't it? But alas, it's not worth it. There wouldn't be any need to storm a hovel. We'll have to make do with scaring the shit out of those idiots instead."

"Now you're talking." Martin ran to go get the horses that were tied near a cluster of trees only a few yards away.

Dread cracked her knuckles, itching for a fight. "Some blood will be shed tonight. And it won't be mine." A cold smile passed her lips.

Martin let out a low whistle, and she ran over to her horse. Once they’d both mounted, they headed to the shore.

****

"Place her on the pallet by the fireplace." Judie pointed to the very bare, small one-room shack. She held open the door while Jimmy walked in, holding a still-unconscious Daisy.

He laid her down on the old pallet and started to pull off the sack when his sister stopped him.

"Don't take it off, idiot. What if she wakes up? She'll be able to make out our faces then."

Judie sat her satchel on the table and opened it. She pulled out a foot of rope and threw it at her brother. "Here, tie her arms behind her back. We don't want her escapin'."

Jimmy did what his sister ordered while she lit a lantern. Soon the room had enough of a glow for them to see. Jimmy tied up Daisy and lifted her skirt up until the hem of the puffy ball gown reached the tops of her thighs. He pulled her legs apart, shoved his face in between them and took a sniff.

"Hey, sis, does rich puss smell different from poor puss? Cause she does smell sweet.

Can't wait to eat me some of this." Jimmy gave Daisy's right breast a squeeze.

Judie rolled her eyes and pulled out a pencil and a few sheets of paper. "First we have to write this ransom note, and then we can have some fun. Since this here was all my plannin', I get to have a go at her first."

"I wanna watch." He snorted, spitting out a large glob of phlegm on the floor, and sat down next to his sister.

"These blasted jewels are causing me to chafe somethin' fierce." Judie took out the necklace and ring and threw them in the middle of the table.

"They sure is pretty-like." Jimmy went to grab them when his sister smacked him across the back of his head.

"Pay attention! Now this is what we're gonna do. I'll recite and you write, since you 'ave better handwriting than I do."

Jimmy licked the tip of the pencil and reached in the satchel for his black-rimmed glasses. He pulled them on, cracked his knuckles and rotated his neck. With one hand on the paper and his other in the air, he waited for instruction.

"You are such a nob sometimes." Judie took a quick glance at Daisy when she let out a moan. "We got to hurry before the twit wakes up. Don't want her to hear our voices."

"Rightly so, sis." Jimmy set the tip of the pencil down on the paper and cocked an ear.

Judie cleared her throat. "Lord Humphrey—"

"Shouldn't it be ‘Dear, Lord Humphrey?’” Jimmy interrupted.

"Shut yer trap." Judie hit him upside the head again. "This ain't no invite to a tea party or a love letter. This here is serious. Now pay attention and write, ‘Lord Humphrey, we have your fiancée.’"

"Lord Humphrey, we have yer fiancée." Jimmy parroted.

"No! You're spelled 'yer' wrong. It needs to be your. Y-O-U-R, not Y-E-R. What would our dear departed momma say if she knew all her teachin' us our letters and writin' did nuthin'?"

Jimmy wiped a finger under his eye. "Poor momma, dead ten years now. Why, I remember when—"

Judie stood up from her chair and banged on the table. "Jaysus! Stop with the boo-hooing. We need to get this done by tonight so Humphrey will have it by tomorrow. I don't want to stay in this godforsaken hole in the wall any longer than I have to."

Jimmy opened his mouth to respond when the door slammed open. Dread and Martin stood there with their guns and sabres raised in the air.

"Drop your weapons!" Dread walked through the open doorway with her gun trained on the siblings. Jimmy dropped his pencil and lifted his hands while his sister flapped her arms out to her sides and stamped her foot.

"How did you find us?" she asked, crossing her arms and moping.

Dread had always thought Judie had a pretty pout, and had fallen for it one time too many, but this time she wouldn't. "You really thought you could outwit me, my dear? I'm C.W.

Dread, the fierce lady pirate and scourge of the high seas. You should know by now you can't trick me."

"She got you there, sis." Jimmy nodded.

"Shut up you ass!" His sister kicked him hard in the leg, and Jimmy bent over in pain.

Dread held back a groan. "You two need to—"

Jimmy grabbed a long hunting knife out of his satchel and threw it straight at Dread's head. She ducked as it flew by, then pulled the trigger on her pistol and shot Jimmy in the knee.

He fell to the floor, screaming in pain and clutching his leg.

"My leg! You cunt!" he yelled, rocking.

"Bitch!" Judie rushed toward Dread, but Martin grabbed her by the waist and dug his pistol into the back of her head.

"I would love nothing more than to shoot you in the brains, missy, so don't give me any reason to." Martin cocked his trigger and Judie stopped struggling.

Dread nodded at Martin, pulling out a chair. "Help your brother up and into this chair."

She motioned for Martin to release her. Judie rubbed her arms as if she were in pain.

"Mister Martin, please check and see if our bounty is still breathing. I wouldn't put it past these two to have smothered her to death. Also untie her."

"On it, Captain." Martin backed up with his gun still trained on the table as he knelt down to feel the woman's pulse. He moved his hand up over her mouth to check for her breath.

"She's breathing pretty well, Captain." Martin turned Daisy to the side and untied the knotted rope.

Dread smiled and motioned with her gun at Judie, who stood there brooding while her brother continued to moan in pain. "What are you waiting for? Help your brother into the chair."

Judie mumbled curses as she pulled him up under his arms. Jimmy didn't say a word, just wiped his brow as sweat poured down his face. He sat down heavily on the chair that creaked under his weight.

"Captain, I ain't doin' so well. I need a doctor," Jimmy whined.

Dread rolled her eyes. "You should be glad I didn't shoot you in the face." Dread grabbed the satchel and rooted through it. She found some extra rope and threw it on the table. "Now, Judie. I want you to tie your brother to the chair. Tightly. I will be checking the knots."

Judie grabbed the rope and sneered at Dread. She wrapped it around Jimmy's waist and arms and tied him to the back of the chair. When she was done, she wiped her hands and stood twirling her hair.

Dread checked the knots and nodded. "You were always good at tying knots, Judie."

Dread rammed her pistol into the center of her chest. "Now sit down next to Jimmy."