The Pleasure of M (14 page)

Yours,
 

 

Michel”
 

As
 it
 happens
 she
 had
 several
 days
 before
 having
 to
 write
 an
 answer
 as
 Michel
 was
 
going
 on
 vacation
 for
 a
 week
 away
 from
 electronic
 devices,
 and
 this
 allowed
 her
 to
 
digest
 his
 latest
 message.
 The
 first
 reading
 of
 it
 left
 her
 a
 bit
 bewildered.
 Luckily,
 she
 
very
 reluctantly
 yielded
 to
 her
 husband’s
 advances
 that
 night
 and
 she
 found
 herself
 
observing
  him
  as
  he
  reached
  climax
  with
  incomplete
  recollections
  from
  a
  single
 
reading
  of
  Michel’s
  description
  hovering
  in
  her
  mind.
  She
  felt
  the
  pulsing
  as
  his
 
orgasm
 began
 and
 heard
 him
 faintly
 yelp
 as
 the
 discharge
 started
 in
 earnest.
 When
 
he
 quickly
 pulled
 away
 thereafter,
 rather
 than
 feel
 her
 usual
 annoyance
 the
 words
 
“primitive
  armor”
  made
  her
  giggle,
  and
  her
  husband
  smiled
  at
  the
  sound
  of
  her
 
laughter
 from
 the
 depth
 of
 the
 cave
 where
 he
 lay.
 The
 next
 day
 she
 reread
 Michel’s
 
note
  several
  times
  and
  each
  reading
  made
  the
  text
  more
  familiar
  and
  more
 
mysterious,
 drawing
 out
 her
 curiosity.
 She
 wrote
 thoughts
 and
 questions
 down
 on
 a
 
pad
 in
 preparation
 for
 her
 response
 which
 led
 to
 an
 amusing
 incident
 involving
 her
 
boss
 nearly
 taking
 the
 pad
 saying
 “I
 need
 your
 notes
 from
 this
 morning’s
 meeting.”
 
That
 night
 she
 pleasured
 her
 husband
 of
 her
 own
 initiative
 and
 as
 he
 slept
 she
 crept
 
downstairs
  to
  pour
  herself
  a
  glass
  of
  wine
  before
  going
  out
  into
  the
  warm
  air
  of
  a
 
beautiful
 summer
 night
 in
 her
 garden.
 She
 had
 to
 admit
 that
 she
 had
 never
 had
 so
 
much
  pleasure
  watching
  her
  husband
  have
  an
  orgasm.
  Of
  course,
  early
  on
  in
  their
 
marriage
  she
  had
  enjoyed
  given
  him
  pleasure,
  mostly
  because
  of
  the
  feeling
  of
 
power
  she
  derived
  from
  it,
  from
  knowing
  that
  she
  could
  do
  this,
  accomplish
  this
 
seemingly
  at
  will.
  But
  when
  the
  novelty
  of
  it
  died
  off,
  his
  orgasms
  turned
  into
 
something
 quite
 different
 for
 her,
 mainly
 a
 signal
 that
 their
 lovemaking
 session
 was
 
at
  an
  end,
  most
  often
  leaving
  her
  frustrated
  to
  the
  point
  where
  it
  had
  in
  her
  mind
 
almost
  become
  a
  nuisance,
  either
  something
  she
  did
  to
  “make
  him
  happy”
  in
  the
 
sense
  of
  “make
  him
  go
  away”
  or
  something
  that
  came
  too
  soon
  after
  too
  little
 
foreplay.
  Her
  façade
  of
  impeccable
  propriety
  as
  an
  outstanding
  member
  of
  the
 
community
  to
  which
  she
  was
  so
  devoted
  precluded
  her
  having
  the
  type
  of
  friend
 
with
 whom
 by
 confiding
 she
 would
 have
 understood
 that
 when
 it
 comes
 to
 marital
 
sex,
  hers
  was
  a
  rather
  common
  plight.
  Michel’s
  words
  were
  powerful
  and
  she
 
wanted
  to
  somehow
  feel
  the
  orgasm
  he
  was
  describing,
  but
  with
  her
  husband
  she
 
lacked
  the
  kind
  of
  empathy
  it
  would
  have
  required
  and
  so
  was
  reduced
  to
 
observation.
 Regardless,
 she
 realized
 that
 since
 her
 husband
 tended
 to
 stop
 halfway
 
through
 what
 Michel
 wrote
 of,
 she
 would
 have
 to
 turn
 to
 the
 author
 to
 get
 a
 deeper
 
understanding
 of
 the
 much
 more
 interesting
 second
 half
 of
 the
 text.
 

There
 will
 be
 no
 better
 or
 worse
 time
 than
 now
 to
 point
 out
 that
 not
 all
 was
 always
 
perfect
 between
 the
 two
 of
 them,
 but
 rather
 that
 the
 occasional
 moment
 of
 friction
 
was
  always
  easily
  overcome
  with
  openness
  and
  effusive
  reciprocal
  apologies
  in
 
subsequent
  messages.
  She
  would
  volunteer
  that
  she
  had
  “annoying
  female
 
characteristics”
  while
  he
  admitted
  to
  being
  “a
  man
  after
  all,
  with
  the
  many
  nasty
 
things
 this
 can
 imply
 at
 times,”
 but
 both
 made
 every
 effort
 to
 not
 annoy
 the
 other
 in
 
the
 same
 way
 twice.
 She
 had
 thus
 learned
 to
 not
 ask
 ‘too
 many’
 questions
 at
 a
 time
 
and
 to
 then
 wait
 for
 an
 answer
 without
 badgering
 him
 about
 it.
 In
 the
 end,
 he
 always
 
did
 answer
 though
 he
 sometimes
 had
 to
 remind
 her
 of
 the
 question
 given
 the
 time
 
elapsed
 since
 it
 had
 been
 posed.
 Mostly.
 

“Dear
 Michel,
 
 I
 just
 realized
 that
 you
 are
 the
 only
 ‘M’
 in
 my
 address
 book.
 It
 is
 quite
 fitting
 that
 I
 
only
 have
 to
 type
 in
 “M-‐i…”
 and
 you
 magically
 appear
 at
 the
 top
 of
 the
 queue,
 and
 as
 
I
 do
 I
 often
 say
 it
 out
 loud,
 and
 it
 sounds
 like
 ‘Me’.
 Our
 knowledge
 of
 each
 other
 has
 
grown
 to
 a
 depth
 we
 could
 never
 have
 imagined.
 In
 some
 ways,
 you
 know
 me
 better
 
than
 even
 my
 husband,
 just
 as
 you
 have
 told
 me
 things
 that
 you
 have
 shared
 with
 
no-‐one
 else.
 
 

I
  have
  read
  and
  reread
  your
  ‘orgasm’
  piece.
  As
  we’ve
  discussed
  before,
  our
 
perspectives
  on
  previous
  words,
  stories,
  movies,
  etc.
  are
  never
  static
  (at
  least
  for
 
people
  like
  you
  and
  I).
  And
  so
  my
  thoughts
  on
  this
  missive
  are
  of
  course
  very
 
different
 from
 the
 reactions
 I
 experienced
 upon
 the
 first
 reading
 just
 a
 few
 days
 ago.
 
Now
 a
 few
 questions:
 

Do
 you
 like
 to
 have
 your
 balls
 touched
 during
 orgasm
 or
 is
 that
 distracting?
 

Do
 you
 prefer
 that
 motion
 cease
 as
 of
 that
 moment?
 Does
 additional
 friction
 (either
 
in
  your
  partner’s
  mouth
  or
  vagina)
  enhance
  or
  detract…
  or
  does
  it
  vary
  with
  the
 
circumstance?
 

Can
 you
 really
 feel
 the
 hot
 semen
 flowing
 through
 your
 shaft?
 (I
 envision
 this
 as
 hot
 
lava
 shooting
 up
 from
 the
 volcano!)
 

 

Is
 this
 description
 of
 your
 orgasm
 true
 for
 all
 of
 your
 orgasms,
 or
 is
 this
 just
 what
 
the
 “ultimate
 O”
 feels
 like?
 

I
 know,
 too
 many
 questions…
 but
 I
 want
 to
 seize
 the
 day!
 
Fondly,
 
Catherine”
 

It
 would
 be
 another
 couple
 of
 days
 before
 Michel
 returned
 and
 responded.
 He
 took
 
great
 pleasure
 in
 answering
 her
 inquiries.
 He
 was
 proud
 that
 he
 made
 her
 want
 to
 
seize
 the
 day.
 

“Dear
 Catherine,
 
 

Your
 questions
 make
 me
 realize
 that
 my
 description
 was
 perhaps
 a
 tad
 esoteric,
 and
 
so
 it
 is
 a
 pleasure
 to
 provide
 some
 answers.
 And
 first,
 indeed
 we
 can
 feel
 the
 semen
 
flowing
 as
 it
 does.
 It
 is
 propelled
 by
 uncontrollable
 and
 orgasmic
 contraction
 at
 the
 
base
 of
 the
 shaft.
 But
 the
 first
 few
 contractions
 are
 blanks,
 in
 a
 sense,
 and
 only
 at
 the
 
third
 or
 fourth
 does
 the
 lava
 flow.
 Anything
 other
 than
 a
 gentle
 cupping
 of
 the
 balls
 
can
  be
  distracting,
  but
  gentle
  cupping
  pressure,
  especially
  to
  the
  back
  of
  the
 
testicles,
  rather
  enhances
  the
  experience.
  As
  to
  motion,
  it
  is
  quite
  essential
  during
 
the
  orgasm
  itself,
  but
  shortly
  thereafter,
  things
  get
  a
  little
  more
  complicated.
  Here
 
again,
  circumcision
  makes
  a
  big
  difference.
  The
  tip
  of
  the
  cock
  becomes
  very
 
sensitive
  in
  the
  aftermath
  of
  ejaculation,
  and
  stimulation
  at
  this
  point
  can
  become
 
uncomfortable,
  even
  painful,
  but
  much
  less
  so
  for
  circumcised
  men.
  I
  think
  that
 
might
  explain
  some
  of
  the
  more
  striking
  differences
  between
  European
  and
 
American
  porno
  flicks.
  Finally,
  while
  there
  are
  better
  and
  worse
  orgasms,
  what
  I
 
described
  is
  pretty
  much
  the
  template
  for
  what
  I
  experience,
  with
  the
  caveat
  that
 
you
 know
 about
 masturbation
 versus
 sex
 with
 a
 partner.
 

I
 trust
 that
 this
 begins
 to
 answer
 some
 of
 your
 questions
 on
 the
 matter,
 but
 I
 know
 
that
 you
 will
 have
 more,
 which
 is
 something
 that
 I
 look
 forward
 to.
 No,
 really,
 I
 do.
 

Yours,
 
Michel”
 

When
  next
  they
  spoke,
  she
  admitted
  to
  him
  that
  her
  own
  pleasure
  seemed
  to
  her
 
very
 meek
 in
 comparison
 with
 his,
 and
 how
 would
 she
 react
 to
 being
 present
 at
 such
 
an
 event?
 He
 laughed
 and
 told
 her
 that
 he
 could
 only
 judge
 from
 his
 wife's
 reaction
 
to
  this:
  a
  good
  deal
  of
  satisfaction
  and
  the
  occasional
  unsuppressed
  giggle.
  He
 
described
  himself
  as
  a
  cross
  between
  a
  penguin
  walking
  on
  a
  waxed
  floor
  and
  a
 
puppy
 dog
 being
 scratched
 a
 little
 too
 vigorously,
 and
 thought
 she
 would
 probably
 
find
  it
  amusing
  and
  hopefully
  a
  little
  endearing.
  His
  breathing
  pattern
  kind
  of
 
freaked
 his
 wife
 out
 the
 first
 few
 times
 because
 there
 was
 a
 point
 after
 orgasm
 when
 
he
 stopped
 breathing
 for
 a
 few
 seconds,
 but
 she
 got
 used
 to
 it.
 It
 was
 all
 a
 matter
 of
 
letting
 the
 pleasure
 resonate
 to
 its
 fullest.
 Catherine
 again
 questioned
 him
 about
 the
 
intensity
  of
  it
  and
  he
  tried
  to
  add
  some
  nuance
  to
  his
  answer.
  The
  way
  he
  felt
  it,
 
there
  had
  to
  be
  essentially
  a
  gradation
  in
  the
  pleasures
  that
  could
  be
  had
  from
 
ejaculation.
 He
 had
 been
 caught
 once
 in
 the
 unpleasant
 situation
 of
 needing
 to
 cut
 
short
  ill-‐timed
  self-‐pleasuring
  only
  to
  find
  that
  the
  point
  of
  no-‐return
  had
  been
 
reached,
  and
  this
  seemed
  to
  mark
  the
  minimum
  amount
  of
  pleasure
  that
  he
  could
 
get
 from
 an
 orgasm:
 “It
 was
 as
 if
 the
 duality
 that
 is
 usually
 resolved
 at
 the
 time
 of
 
orgasm
 between
 the
 locus
 of
 pleasure
 in
 the
 testicles
 and
 the
 rest
 of
 the
 body
 was
 
suddenly
  restored
  with
  the
  body
  pretending
  that
  the
  orgasm
  was
  not
  happening,
 
adrenaline
  pumping
  through
  the
  veins,
  sweating
  with
  fear,
  hyper-‐alert,
  and
  at
  the
 
same
 time
 waves
 of
 pleasure
 completely
 contained
 to
 the
 testes,
 barely
 finding
 their
 
way
  into
  the
  brain
  because
  unable
  to
  overcome
  the
  sympathetic
  nervous
  system’s
 
reluctance
 to
 cede
 way
 to
 pleasure.”