The Perfect Emotion (30 page)

“Katherine.”  His voice is deep and raspy.  I love when it sounds like this and the sound of my full name coming off his lips.  The firmness of his fingers grip my wrists and pull them away from his ridged abdomen to my sides.  This only causes me to lean into him more feeling a familiar desire growing in my belly.  “Keep that up and I’ll have to take you into one of these empty classes.  Then I’ll have my way with you.”

“Mmmm, yes, please,” I murmur out in between our exploring lips and tongues. My wrists try to resist the restraint they are in and my hips thrust towards his.

“Shit, when is your next class?”  He growls at the base of my throat as I thrash my head back in hopes of giving him more access. 

“Now, but I don’t care.” He trails kiss along my jaw and then pecks me in finality on my temple as he pulls back from me. I frown and stick my bottom lip out for emphasis. “You’re always being good.”

“Come on, I’ll walk you to your next class and then you can think about how good I am going to be later tonight.”  Our hands latch on to each other and we head out of the building to my next class.  I laugh out loud and then my mind begins to drift to the other night and then… to the shower we took together. 
Mmmm, that was good
.

I head into to the sandwich shop on campus and pick up a couple sandwiches and drinks for Maggie and I to have lunch in our dorm.  Originally, we were going to meet here, but then I thought how she might not want to talk as opening about everything.  I stand against the counter waiting for our order and I drift in and out thinking of Reed.  It amazes me that his words can turn me on so easily.   I replay them in my head to recreate the sense of want, lust and pleasure that fogs my mind and body.  The feeling to be near him throughout the day consumes me and I try to think back to how it was with Kyle, but I can’t ever remember this strong of a current running through me.  I don’t remember ever craving Kyle like I crave Reed. 

“Kate.” I snap out of my deep analysis to move towards the register and pick up my order. I’m crossing through the Union and see Derek and Jenna making their way towards the doors that lead to the cafeteria. It reconfirms my decision to meet Maggie in our dorm. She won’t be ready to hash it out in front of everyone. Plus, if Brandon is there too it would be even worse. I wonder how this will affect us as a group now. I don’t want our tight knit bond to break. Maybe somehow they could remain friends. Then I think to how I know I could never be friends with Kyle. I had tried and that just ended up in me caving to him. Although, Brandon is nothing remotely like Kyle and Maggie is nothing like me. Hope crosses my mind. I don’t bother to catch up to Derek and Jenna because I know Maggie is probably already waiting for me.

In the elevator the smell of the sandwiches makes my stomach growl.  As soon as the door opens I sprint out to head to my room.  My mouth salivates at the thought of taking my first bite.  I don’t get too far when I hear my phone ping the sound of a text.  I reach into my pocket and pull it out to see a text from my favorite blue-eyed guy.

What time can I see u tonight? Reed

I manage to thumb a quick text back while moving towards my room and carrying everything.

Let me see how Mags is first. Katherine

I’m getting my hands on u either way, with or without Mags. Reed

Laughing at Reed’s text as I open the door I quickly drop my bag when I see Maggie curled in a ball on her bed. 

“Mags?”

“Yes,” she mumbles into her pillow.  Her voice is muffled, but I don’t think she’s crying. 

“You okay? I have our lunch.” I start to pull out our sandwiches and get us set up at our desks. Maggie flops over and sits upright.

“Yea, I’m fine, just really drained. Fucking exhausted.”

“Well, good because… spill it girlfriend.  How did he take it?”  I spit out as I plop myself down at my desk to take a bite.  She giggles at my mocking her. 

“There really isn’t that much to tell. It basically turned into what is always does between us… I want more of a reaction and more feelings from Brandon and he is, well he is just Brandon. He doesn’t show a lot of emotion or passion. It’s just him and I’m the opposite. I was completely honest and told him everything about Marco. He barely reacted and thought I was overreacting. He just thinks that I’m making my schoolgirl crush into something it’s not. He didn’t seem to care or mind that I cheated. Honestly, I think he wanted to just keep our relationship like it was and count this as a time we were off instead of on.” She stops to take a bite of her sandwich, but I’m shocked by Brandon’s reaction.

“Wow, I just, I just can’t even believe this. I thought for sure he’d fight for you more or… or something.” I take in Maggie’s face to make sure she is doing okay with everything. She almost looks robotic, but she continues and I see a tears begin to prick her eyes.

“I, I guess I’m shocked too.  I know it sounds ridiculous, but I wanted him to fight for me or to get mad.  Anything, but he just dismissed it.  That only upset me more, but in the end I think we both came around and agreed that our relationship would never be anything more than it was.  I cared so much for him, but not in a long term way.  I was always wanting more than he could give me.  Whether Marco came into the picture or not I know that things would have come to this.  He does too.  Even though I wish Brandon would have showed more it wouldn’t change the feelings I have about Marco.”  Tears pool in her eyes and when she blinks they stream down her full cheeks.  I wipe up my hands and reach over to hug her.  She cries into my shoulder and it feels good to finally be the one needed.  Her words sit on my mind about how she was always looking for more. 
More.
  God, how could I have missed how much more Reed always gave to me.  Last semester I took, but now I’m ready to give him more too.  It’s hard for me to tell him these things, but I need to make sure he knows how much more he means to me.  Before I know it I’m silently crying into Maggie’s shoulder. 

The day seems to drag more than usual, but my mind races with thoughts of Kate.  Not all of them are clean either… her legs tightly around me as I bury myself into her is at the forefront.  They aren’t all dirty either though… her arms wrapping around me with her face burying into my chest, the way she presses in to get closer to me, her fingers gripping at the back of my shirt, when her head tilts back and her eyes gaze upward to take in my expression I want to tell her I’ve got her and I’m never letting her go.  I know I can’t say that quite yet though, it’s too soon.  I have to keep waiting for her to come to me.  The risk of her running is too great, but I see her pushing herself all the time and then every so often she doesn’t have to push herself.  She let’s her wall down and opens herself up without even realizing it.  I savor those moments and pray more of them will come.  She feels everything I’m feeling… I can tell, but she has to embrace it fully.  Hell, sometimes it throws me off.  I’m not even always exactly sure how to deal with these emotions and what they mean.  They’re strong, like a gust of wind forcing its way inside of me.  Just when I think I can slow it down the speed of the wind picks up and makes it impossible.  I know this is more, more than what… I’m not quite sure.  Many times I’m on the brink of saying something about
love
, but it’s so foreign to me in this capacity I still have to be sure.  I tell my mom I love her all the time, but this feels different.  I can’t recall the last time I told my dad those three words… sometime before the age of eleven probably.  

Glancing towards the clock I see it’s after seven and I haven’t heard back from Kate yet.  Marco called me last night and told me pretty much everything about him and Maggie.  I like Brandon enough, especially since he helped out during the fight with Kyle last semester… but the fact that Marco is into Maggie more than any of us ever knew is only a relief to me.  Since he’s going to be back here I wouldn’t want there to be any chance of him getting in my way with Kate. 
That bastard is a nice guy and not bad looking, even I can see that.

Running my fingers across one of my law books it reminds me that my dad texted me about coming out for dinner this weekend.  My sisters will be there, which always makes it easier.  I’d love to bring Kate with me, but I don’t want to subject her to the harshness of my father yet.  I type him a quick text to tell him that I will be there, it’s not like I have a choice in the matter in all reality.  Part of the hold he has on me is being at his beck and call on his terms. 

Shifting my feet across my bed restlessly I decide I can’t wait any longer to see her. Just as I’m about to head out of my room to walk on over there my phone rings. Instinctively, I grunt upon seeing her name flash up on my phone. This is the fourth time she’s called today. Reluctantly, I answer with no enthusiasm in my tone.

“Yeah?”

“R-Reed, hi, it’s me Jess.  Did you get my other messages?”  She nervously replies.  Sweetness laces in between each syllable, but I push out any sympathy I may have for her. 

“What do you want, Jessica?” I don’t have time for her bullshit anymore. I moved past it a long time ago. All I hear is her grasping at straws.

“I, please just, Reed.  You need to give me a chance.  I’m trying to fix things with us.”  I can picture her fingers twirling her long dark hair as she stammers on her words.  The idea that I am even picturing her pisses me off. 

“I have to go. I’ve already told you I don’t have time for your bullshit. So, unless you have something important to say I have to go.”

“I’ll be at the dinner on Saturday night.  Your dad, he, uh, he,” she pauses before she continues, “I want you back.”

I scoff loudly in annoyance into the receiver before I tell her, “Goodbye, Jess.”  Telling her that it will never happen, or that she never really had me… not like Kate anyway, isn’t worth my time. 

C
HAPTER 22

Hurrying down the stairs and out of the house my chest loosens when I hit the fresh air.  I practically sprint into a jog pushing the rage I feel after talking to Jessica to disappear.  Before I go to Kate’s dorm though I stop at Walgreens.  It’s the only place along the way and it will have to do.  Before I know it I’m standing in front of her door in a frantic to see her.  I knock on her door and when her door opens I see her in some short shorts and an off the shoulders loose shirt.  The sight before me has me practically dropping my jaw and drooling.  Luckily, I manage to keep my composure and the cheep rose from Walgreens pried between my teeth.  Her smile is gorgeous, perfect, like no other.  I give her a wink just as she fists her hand into my shirt pulling me into her room.  She takes the rose from my mouth and tosses it to the side.