The Outback Heart (25 page)

THE
smell of freshly baked buns wafted from the door of the bakery. It did nothing to quell the rumbling of Indi’s starving belly. She grabbed a drink and ordered her lunch. ‘Just a chicken and avo focaccia, please, Annie.’

‘Sure thing, love.’ Annie’s long grey-streaked hair was plaited to the side, hanging over her shoulder.

Indi handed her the money and stepped back to wait. There was quite a buzz with the lunchtime rush. Indi could hear two girls chatting at one of the bakery tables. She homed in on the voices: it was Tiffany and her best friend Bec. Tiff was just about to turn eighteen and worked two days a week with Jenny and Phil. Indi’s ears pricked up at the mention of Troy’s name.

‘You’re so lucky to work with Troy,’ Bec was saying. Indi could picture her wearing her usual short shorts and a tank top, even though it was still cold.

‘Well, I
was
lucky, but yesterday I overheard Jenny talking to Troy. It sounded like he’d handed in his resignation.’

‘What?’ sighed Bec.

‘I know. I think Jenny wasn’t too happy. I mean, it’s only been six months. But I heard him say he already had a job lined up.’

‘Doing what?’

‘Don’t know,’ said Tiff. ‘Old Mr Brookman came in wanting bloody sheep drench so I missed out on the rest.’ Tiff lowered her voice and Indi strained harder.

‘Oh, man, that sucks.’

‘You want to hear something worse?’

Bec’s friend scoffed. ‘What’s worse than that?’

‘Well, this morning Eric told me something.’ Eric was Tiff’s on-again off-again boyfriend.

‘He said his mum did a shift at the Wildflower shop this morning and Troy was there with a very pretty girl. Actually, she said she was stylish, young and gorgeous,’ Tiff said with disgust.

‘Who was she?’

‘No idea. She’d never seen her before but apparently they were all over each other, holding hands and hugging all the time. Maybe he’s leaving because he’s got a new woman?’

‘Well, I heard a rumour that Troy and Indi might have hooked up.’

Tiff snorted at her friend. ‘Everyone knows she bats for the other team. She spends all her time at that footy club and she hasn’t even slept with any of them,’ she scoffed.

‘Indi,’ called Annie, startling her. Annie waved her lunch order at her. Indi thanked Annie and headed for the door.

With her heart still racing she headed back to her ute. Bloody small towns and gossip. Indi didn’t know what to believe. Troy had handed in his resignation? He said he would wait until after the finals. Did he think that tomorrow’s prelim game was their last? What if the team found out?

She was no longer hungry. In fact, she felt a little ill. She threw her lunch onto the passenger side and drove back to work.

She was working in the open bulkhead today, transferring grain into the cells ready to load into the train wagons. The bulkheads were oval shaped with metal struts on a rough bitumen floor, out in what was once someone’s old paddock. In big yielding years they would need these bulkheads, filling them with high peaks of grain. Later the tarping crew would come out and sew huge canvas tarps over them to protect the grain from the elements and so they could fumigate it if needed. And when they needed that grain it was part of Indi’s job to pull the tarps off, but only sections at a time just in case it rained. You never played with tarps in the wind either. You could easily be lifted off the ground.

The rest of the crew were still on their lunch break, sitting back in the hut, probably watching TV. Indi took her drink and pulled herself up over the metal struts and climbed up the tarp that covered the grain stack. At the top of the stack she sat down, facing the view of the crop growing in a nearby paddock. Not even the beauty of the countryside around her could lift her spirits today. She watched a big wedgetail eagle soaring through the sky, probably eyeing off a little lamb. She felt like that lamb.

What was she to do? She didn’t want to miss the guys’ game tomorrow – she couldn’t do that again – but she’d fallen to pieces last Saturday just seeing Troy. Spud had been great, not pushing her to explain, but he’d made her swear she wouldn’t miss their game. At least he’d never made her promise about training. She couldn’t do training. All that time on the sideline with Troy. It would be too much, too painful, too hard. But she was determined to watch the game and be there for the boys. She would focus on Patrick and Jasper. She could do this, right?

‘There’s only one way to find out,’ she said. The breeze whisked her words from her mouth and dispersed them through the air. It was a cold and clear day and everything seemed fine from this height. It gave her hope that things would get better.

‘I
can’t believe you’re here,’ said Troy, as he grabbed her hand again.

‘I know, you’ve said that already.’ Gerry smiled at him across the table. ‘Aren’t you supposed to be making me breakfast?’ she asked.

Troy couldn’t stop gawking at his sister. His beautiful baby sister was all grown up. She was a teenager when he’d last seen her, but now a tall, well-dressed woman sat opposite him. She still had Gerry’s trademark smile and blemish-free skin, but the skilfully applied make-up was throwing him.

‘Sorry, it’s just so freaky seeing you all grown up.’

Gerry laughed. ‘Well, you haven’t changed a bit, big brother. I was worried that the next time I saw you, you’d be . . .’ She couldn’t finish her sentence but Troy fully understood. Her eyes glazed over with pain and he felt like a right prick.

‘I know, I’m so sorry. I thought what I was doing was right.’

‘Yeah, well, I’m glad you’ve come to your senses. It’s never too late. I can’t wait to see the look on Mum and Dad’s faces when they see you.’ Gerry clasped her hands together.

‘Don’t tell them, okay?’

‘Wouldn’t dare. Just don’t forget to pick me up on your way through Perth. I wish I could stay longer and watch your footy team play, but I really have to get back and study. You threw a spanner in my plans when you rang, but I’m glad you called.’

‘Me too. It should have been much sooner.’

‘Hey, how did you even get my number?’

Troy flipped the switch on the kettle and sat down. ‘I rang what I thought was your number and when that didn’t work, I rang Freddie.’

She leaned back with a smile. ‘Ah, Freddie. I love him to bits. You know he’s always ringing me or dropping by to see how I’m going. I don’t know whether he just took it upon himself to be my big brother, or whether being closer to me helped him feel closer to you.’

‘Wow, really? He never said. He’s amazing, that bloke.’ He owed Freddie so much. Now was the time to make up for that.

‘He’s always idolised you. Even when we were younger I could see it. He just wanted to be you. Friendships like that don’t come around very often,’ Gerry said.

Troy was shocked. It was so hard to get used to this grown-up, clever woman. He closed his mouth and got up to finish making their coffees.

‘I’m really proud of you, Gerry,’ he said, as he glanced back at her while stirring in sugar. Her smile nearly broke his heart and he felt tears well up again. He’d cried so much since he first saw her get out of her car yesterday. They both had. He had to keep promising her that he wasn’t disappearing again. And to prove it he asked her to stay the night.

Even in yesterday’s creased dress she was still a vision. ‘So, really no boyfriend? I find that hard to believe,’ he said, putting their cups on the table and sitting down.

‘Troy boy, I have no time for a guy. I’m devoting everything to nursing and what time I take off I spend with my friends. To tell you the truth, I’m not looking. Just having fun.’

‘So when’s the last time you went back to the farm?’ They’d talked all day and half the night but Troy kept finding more questions for her.

‘At Christmas. Mum had a present under the tree just in case you decided to pop in. So expect to be dragged inside and loaded up with all the gifts. They’re still there wrapped and waiting for you.’

Troy ran his hand through his hair. ‘They’ll probably skin me alive when I show my face.’

‘No. They’ll cry happy tears, just like I did.’ Gerry took a sip of her coffee. ‘You know, I really like this little town with its fancy rock. I can see why you like it here. It makes me miss the farm.’ She leaned forward, resting her head in her hands. ‘So, what about this girl Indi? When are you going to sweep her off her feet and tell her how you really feel?’

Troy glanced at the picture of Peta and smiled. ‘I don’t know if I’ll sweep her off her feet – she’d probably deck me – but I’ll catch up with her today at the game and tell her. I should probably have done it sooner but I needed to see you first. This has been a massive step for me, but it was the right step.’

Gerry reached across the table, squeezed his hand. As she did she saw her watch. ‘Oh, crap. I really need to get back to Perth and you need to get ready for your big game.’

‘I wish you could stay another night.’ He dropped his lip and sulked.

‘Sorry, bro. That puppy dog routine never worked on me. Mum maybe, but never me.’ She laughed as he pouted and feigned hurt.

‘All right. Luckily I’ll see you again soon. Do you need fuel? I’ll take you down to the roadhouse and fill up your car.’

‘No, you don’t have to do that,’ she said.

‘Come on. I was at uni once, remember? I bet you’re always short of cash.’ She smiled sheepishly. ‘See. All right, breakfast first. Bacon and eggs? Or are you on a diet?’ He wasn’t sure. It worried him to think he didn’t have a bloody clue. She’d had a salad at the Wildlife park and had cooked up a stir-fry last night.

‘No, I’m good. I try not to eat too much junk food but because I’m saving my pennies and studying all the time, my diet tends to consist of two-minute noodles. So bacon and eggs sound great. Thanks.’

‘I’m onto it.’ Troy got up to pull the ingredients from his fridge and kept looking back over his shoulder. It was surreal. His sister was here, in his house. Already he found himself counting down the days until he could get to Perth to see her again. He felt so alive that his chest ached with all the emotions he’d spent the last few years trying to bury. He’d been half a man then. It was so easy to see what he’d been missing. Finally he’d found himself.

INDI’S
plans of ignoring Troy died the moment she saw his silhouette in the change room doorway.

She’d been on edge all morning, sick with nerves. Luckily Jasper’s pre-game nerves were enough to take the focus off her. ‘Jasper, there are only so many times you can pace through the house,’ she said to him. ‘How about you come and help me make the scones for afternoon tea?’

‘Yeah, okay. Can I be the taste tester?’

Together they made a batch to her mum’s famous recipe. They had a mess from one end of the kitchen to the next but it had killed two birds with one stone. Afternoon tea was done and the nerves were pushed aside.

When Indi arrived at the oval she kept her eyes focused on whoever she was talking to. She was determined not to seek out Troy. The growing crowd was the biggest ever. Kingy stood by the end of the verandah, laughing with some mates. Trevor had requested that his plastic seat be placed front and centre so he wouldn’t miss any of the game, and Jenny, along with some of her friends, had made up a huge banner for the guys. It had their team logo on it, a footy player wearing the team colours carrying a football in one hand and a harp in the other. He also had a halo and wings. She had to laugh – the team was hardly a bunch of saints, but they were a mob of bloody good lads and she was happy to be a part of them.

Indi had done well, getting to the change rooms without a glimpse of Troy. All the boys had cheered when she walked in, embarrassing her as they all came up to nudge her, slap her back or just to touch her as if she were some lucky buddha.

‘Bloody great to have you back, Indi,’ said Killer. ‘Now, can you do me first?’ Killer wiggled his eyebrows.

Indi laughed and grabbed her tape. ‘Sure. Where would you like it first?’ she said with a smile. It was good to be back.

The banter continued, always rough, but it felt like home and Indi knew it was harmless. She was coping just fine, feeling relaxed and comfortable, but when James called out ‘Yoda!’, she just about squealed.

Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look
, she told herself
.
But her head turned regardless. There he stood, tall and strong, filling the doorway. Her breath caught in her throat and she couldn’t look away, not even if she tried.

‘Hey, lads, are we ready for a win today?’ he yelled.

The change room erupted in a burst of testosterone-fuelled grunting. It was a scary place to be if you weren’t prepared for the onslaught of men psyching themselves up.

Troy had all the guys’ eyes on him. They looked charged up and ready, their uniforms on and the room smelling of deodorant and Deep Heat.

‘I want to share a quote with you today; it was used by one of the greatest coaches of all time, Mick Malthouse.
“
Only he who does not fear death by a thousand cuts dares to unseat the emperor.
”’
Troy turned, studying each of his players. ‘I expect great things from you guys, only because I know you can produce great things. I believe in you – now it’s your turn to believe in yourselves and take control of
our
oval.’

Patrick finished off with a ‘Go get’em, boys.’

Jasper sat down so Indi could finish strapping his ankle. He was the last one. She was glad for something to concentrate on other than Troy’s stirring words. If only he believed in her.

‘Indi, can I talk to you quickly?’

Oh my god
, Indi thought. Troy was talking to her. Now what should she do? Her knees felt weak and she sat back on the floor.

‘I’ve got it, sis. You go,’ said Jasper, prying the tape from her clenched fingers. She shot Jasper a steely glare.

‘Come on. We don’t have much time before the game.’ Troy reached for her hand and pulled her up. Like a stupid hungry lamb she followed him, possibly to slaughter.

Troy led her through the parked cars, all the way over to the hockey field behind the clubhouse where he finally sat down on the limestone blocks that edged the grass.

Indi was still standing dumbly, her hand tucked up warmly in his.

‘Sit. I have things to say,’ he said, tugging her hand.

Indi practically fell down beside him.

‘So do I . . . have things to say,’ she said, pulling her hand away, finally finding her voice and her strength. She wasn’t a weakling. She had a spine and it was high time she used it. ‘I can’t believe you, Troy. The way you spoke to those guys, yet you’ve already handed in your notice at work. And did you think I wouldn’t hear about you parading another girl around town? This is Hyden, for god’s sake! You could have at least waited until you’d left.’ Indi was so worked up she was almost panting.

Indi glanced towards the oval. She could see their team running onto the field. ‘We should get back,’ she said, even though she wanted to hear his reply. She stood up but found herself pulled back down by Troy.

‘Indi, we can’t go yet,’ he said holding her hands in his. ‘Not until I explain things. That girl is Gerry, my sister. She came down to visit me from the city after I called her – for the first time in years.’

Now he had Indi’s attention. ‘That was Gerry?’

He nodded. ‘Jasper made me realise just how much I was hurting you, and that’s the last thing I ever wanted to do, Indi. I didn’t realise what you went through with your mum, and Jasper told me that you’d never change any of that.’

Indi frowned at him. ‘Of course not. I loved every moment I got to spend with Mum, and I’d do it all over again if I could, even though it hurt like hell to watch her die. And I’d do it all for you too, if it ever came to that. I already told you.’

Troy nodded. ‘I know. I’ve come to realise that I have a second chance at life and at love and I’d be a bloody fool not to grab it with both hands.’ Troy’s hands reached for her, cupping her face tenderly. ‘Indi, seeing you in Spud’s arms made me realise just how much I love you. I thought I’d never say those words again after Peta, and I thought they would hurt, but telling you I love you is a great relief. I feel alive, finally.’

Indi could see tears in his eyes. She squeezed his hands and studied his dark eyes, looking for the lie, looking for any other hidden secrets, but there was nothing, just a pure rich chocolate brown.

‘You love me?’ she whispered, hardly able to believe it. Troy flashed her a smile, a real one. It lit up his whole face and she couldn’t remember ever seeing him this happy.

‘I can tell you that every day for the rest of our lives if it will help you to believe it,’ he said.

Indi could hear the siren to start the game, the roar of the crowd cheering, but it seemed miles away. ‘The game,’ she spluttered.

‘The game means nothing if I can’t have you beside me.’

His thumbs caressed her cheek before his lips brushed against hers. ‘Tell me you still feel the same, Indi?’ he mumbled, his breath tickling her. With one hand he put her palm against his chest, over his scar. ‘Tell me that you still want me, with all my problems,’ he said.

Under her hand his heart beat fast and powerful. ‘Yes,’ she said, moving closer to him. She just wanted him to kiss her properly – she needed it. ‘I love you and I want you, Troy, no matter what.’ Indi kissed him; she kissed him with relief, with love, with a passion that she no longer had to deny herself. Troy groaned as their tongues met and a big cheer erupted around them. They pulled back, studying each other.

‘Someone got a goal?’ he said.

‘Shit, I hope it was us,’ she said.

Together they stood up, and holding hands they ran through the crowd back to the oval. Indi had to keep checking Troy was at her side, just to make sure she hadn’t dreamed this whole thing. But sure enough he was there, holding her hand tightly.