The Outback Heart (23 page)

‘WHAT
the hell happened to you?’ Jasper was shouting at her, right in her ear. Indi pulled her pillow over her head and groaned.

‘Leave me alone,’ she mumbled, her tongue struggling to work in her dry mouth.

‘Are you sick?’ he yelled again.

Indi turned to face him, squinting at him through her heavy eyes. ‘Stop yelling at me. Oh,’ she groaned as her head began to thump.

‘Are you drunk? Here I was feeling sorry for you and you’re just hungover. Was that your mess in the lounge room?’

Indi tried to sit up but her head felt like a huge lead ball, and she struggled to keep it centred. Jasper was obviously not going away. He stood there in his old grey trackpants, no shirt, and a pair of tongs in his hand. His hair was splayed out on an angle from sleeping on his side and he was smiling at her.

‘Shit, you look awful.’ He laughed. Indi swore at him. Jasper clapped the tongs at her. ‘I’m cooking up bacon and eggs – you want some?’ he asked.

A hangover breakfast. So, she wasn’t the only one suffering. Jasper was just more used to it than her. Her stomach rolled at the thought of food but she nodded her head anyway.

‘Get up, then. It’ll be ready in ten.’

After a shower she felt half human again and slumped at the table, her plate of greasy food waiting for her.

‘Where’s Dad?’ she asked.

‘It’s nine, Indi. He’s long gone.’ Jasper laughed.

‘Oh wow, I haven’t slept in for years.’ She glanced at Jasper as he chewed on a bit of bacon. ‘What time did you get home?’

‘Well, you must have been pretty wasted if you can’t remember that. Dad said the boys tooted the horn the whole way down the drive and then I tripped over your boots and crashed into my bedroom door.’ He shrugged. ‘I don’t remember any of it. Bloody good night, though,
and
I can’t believe you missed the game. What the heck happened to you?’ He poked at another bit of bacon. ‘We had to borrow their strapper! Some freaky looking bloke with far too much body hair strapped my ankle. I’ll never complain about you again, sis, I swear,’ he said, pulling a face.

‘Well, it’s nice to know I was missed.’

‘Are you kidding? Some of the blokes thought we’d lose ’cos you weren’t there. I swear Spud was sulking for the whole first quarter.’

Indi smiled. Now she knew he was yanking her chain but she felt better.

‘So what happened? Car break down?’

‘Something like that,’ she sighed. ‘So tell me all about the game. Every detail. How much did you win by? Who got the goals? How did Pat go?’
And what did Troy say?
That’s what she really wanted to know.

Jasper replayed the whole game for her – Pat kicked six goals in total, James was just behind him. ‘My ankle held up well, too. So now we go into the prelim final after a break this weekend. Spud is having a big bonfire on the farm next Saturday to celebrate the win. He said to tell you to come.’

‘Oh, that’s nice,’ she said. At least Spud cared about her. ‘What time is it happening?’

‘Five onwards. BYO beer and swags.’

‘Cool. Spud does the best bonfires.’

‘He does. Collects wood all year and I hear this one is gonna be a pearler,’ he told her.

Indi saw the time on the clock and swore. ‘Crap. I’ve gotta get going. I was supposed to catch up with Trevor today. He’ll be wondering where I am.’ She shoved her plate forward. It was still half full and Jasper reached over for her bacon. ‘God, I don’t know how you eat all that,’ she said and grimaced. Indi went and got her jumper, spotted the empty cans of Coke in the lounge and groaned. ‘I’ll clean that up later,’ she said before rushing out the door.

On the way into town she stopped at the roadhouse for an iced coffee. She kept her sunglasses on – there were no clouds today and the glare was killing her eyes.

‘You look healthy, Indi,’ said Muzza, as he took her money. ‘You and just about most of the town, all sulking about hangovers.’ He laughed. ‘Great win.’

‘I know. Bloody awesome.’ If only she’d seen it. Indi got her change, thanked Muzza, turned to head out the door and crashed into someone. ‘God, I’m so sorry,’ she said. Her hand went up to her throbbing head and she groaned.

‘What happened to you? Some notice yesterday would have been nice.’

Oh, god. Indi sobered up with the sound of Troy’s voice. She looked up at his face. She had to squint through her dark glasses. ‘Huh?’ she mumbled.

‘I had to find another strapper at short notice.’ She didn’t like the way he emphasised ‘short’.

Indi couldn’t even bring herself to say sorry, not to him. The boys on the team, for sure, but not Troy.

She grunted again, and stepped around him for fear she could lose her breakfast on his boots at any moment. She’d felt okay until she’d run into him, now her body was freaking out.

‘Indi?’ he called but she didn’t turn around. Just climbed into her ute and drove to Trevor’s.

Except Trevor wasn’t there. ‘Oh, shit,’ she mumbled. He wasn’t in any of the rooms or in his backyard. She’d often found him taking a leak in the back corner of his yard on his lemon tree. He swore it was good for them. Indi wasn’t so sure but he did have great lemons.

Indi started walking up the street, checking with his neighbours to see if he was visiting, but nothing. No one had seen him wander off.

‘Where the hell are you, old man?’ Indi sat down out the front of his place, just needing a moment. As she dropped her head into her hands a car pulled up.

‘You searching for someone?’ Indi glanced up at Jenny, who leaned out the window and gestured to her passenger seat, where Trevor sat looking a little sheepish. ‘I found him wandering down the street. He was out looking for you; worried as hell something had happened to you. You okay? You look like crap.’

Indi laughed. ‘Yeah, I’ve been told that.’ She got to her feet. ‘Thanks, Jenny. I was just about to send out my own search party. Come on, Trevor.’ Indi helped him out of the car, while he tried to give her a lecture on disappearing.

‘I was worried,’ Trevor said. ‘You always let me know if you can’t make it and I just had a bad feeling. You’ve never forgotten me before,’ he said, making Indi feel even worse.

‘I’m so sorry. I’ve got a really bad hangover, which is no excuse, I know.’ Indi glanced over to Jenny. ‘Thank you.’

‘You hungover? But you weren’t at the game. Tegan said you were sick.’ Trust Jenny to pry.

‘Yeah, sort of. I was busier than a one-armed bricklayer,’ she joked. ‘I’ll catch you later. Thanks again.’ Indi gave her a wave and helped Trevor back to the house. Jen called out goodbye and drove off, and Indi was glad that was the last of the conversation.

Inside she made Trevor a cuppa and attempted to clean the place, with much protesting from her head, while he chatted about the game.

‘You know, back when I played, it was a bit more relaxed. One time we were playing this team and we were strong, had the ball up our end most of the game. Suddenly it headed down their end and we had no bloody players. They’d bloody got bored and wandered off the field, got back into their cars and opened a few king browns. You should have seen them come running back on when the ball headed towards the goals. Funniest thing,’ he said with a deep laugh. ‘A lot played half full of grog. I’m sure they still do now.’

Indi laughed. ‘Yeah, quite a few play with hangovers, trying to sweat out the Friday night beer.’ She couldn’t think of anything worse at the moment.

‘Those go in the top drawer, Indi. Elsie always put them in the top, and they have to be folded with the embroidery facing out,’ Trevor said, not missing a thing. She sighed, and refolded Elsie’s old tablecloth. She knew he missed his wife every day. Everything always had to be done Elsie’s way. Indi gave up on the cleaning after an hour, got some soup on the go for Trevor and then sat down beside him.

She thought about Troy, tried to imagine how she’d feel if they did get together and he died a year or two later. Would she wish she hadn’t met him? Would the pain of losing him be worth the time spent together? Then she thought of her mum, and how loving someone, no matter how long or short their life, was worth the risk. Wasn’t that living? Troy was shutting off those feelings, but life just wasn’t worth living without them. Well, not for her. She wouldn’t take back that night with Troy, not for anything. It was locked away with her special memories.

Ringing snapped her out of her thoughts. She answered her mobile. ‘Teegs.’

‘Indi, where are you? I’m at your place.’

‘I’m at Trevor’s. I’ll head back now. See you in five.’ Indi pushed herself out of the cracked old vinyl recliner. ‘I gotta head off, Trev. Tegan wants to catch up.’ She put her hand on his and he smiled. ‘I’ll just get you your lunch and then I’ll go.’

After Trevor was set, she headed back home. Tegan was inside chatting with Jasper. Her hair was scraped up into a messy bun and she was wearing jeans and an old blue hoodie. For once she looked relaxed.

‘Hey, how’s Trevor going after the big win?’ Tegan asked.

‘Beside himself with happiness,’ she replied. ‘You coming to Spud’s bonfire night?’

Tegan shook her head slowly, and that’s when Indi noticed something different in Tegan, besides her attire.

‘What’s up?’ she asked, stepping towards her.

Tegan laughed. ‘You know me so well, Indi.’

‘I’ll just go have a shower. Catch ya, Teegs,’ Jasper said as he got up and gave Tegan a hug goodbye. He was still shirtless, which might explain Tegan’s pink cheeks.

‘See you, Jasp,’ she said, giving him a smile and watching him disappear down the passageway.

Indi sat down beside her. ‘What’s going on, mate?’

‘Sorry, I’ve been a bit off lately. And I haven’t been around much but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.’ A pause. ‘I’ve decided to leave Jaffa,’ she whispered.

‘Really? Now?’

‘Oh, no.’ Tegan looked shocked at the thought. ‘After the finals, of course. I couldn’t do it to him now. The team needs him in good form and I have a feeling this is going to piss him off.’ Tegan raised an eyebrow. ‘I don’t think he even sees it coming, Indi. He just expects me to keep him happy and he assumes I’m happy. It took me a while to realise that I’m not and that I don’t want to be treated this way.’ Her eyes darted down the passage. ‘Jasper made me realise that I was hiding my feelings, burying what I wanted just to keep Jaffa happy. But that’s not a relationship, right? I can’t keep hiding the real me just to keep the peace and please Jaffa. It’s not a life, is it?’

Indi shook her head.

‘I don’t even think I really like Jaffa any more. How weird is that, after all this time? He’s not even funny.’ Tegan sat back in her chair, her eyes lighting up with the release.

‘Well, I’m glad. That’s a big decision, Tegan. I’m here and so is Jasper if you need any help.’

‘His words don’t hurt me any more. I’ve come to realise it’s him, not me.’

‘Good for you. You sound like you really know what you’re doing, and I’m proud of you. It can’t be easy.’ Indi reached forward and gave her oldest friend a hug.

‘Thanks, mate.’

‘Any time.’

‘So, is that why you aren’t going to Spud’s?’ Indi asked as the two girls pulled apart. ‘Because of Jaffa?’ She was hoping Tegan would be there as backup in case she saw Troy, but Indi couldn’t really imagine he’d turn up. It would involve too much team bonding, and he’d already told her he was leaving after the finals.

‘No, I’ve told Jaffa I’m going to Perth to visit my sister for a few weeks. I just couldn’t stay here and play happy, now I’ve made my decision. I’m actually leaving this afternoon.’

‘Oh, wow. How did Jaffa take
that
– you being gone while finals are on?’

‘He was pissed, but it’s always
all
about him.’ Tegan mimicked his voice. ‘“I need you on the sidelines, baby, cheering me on.”’ She pulled a face. ‘But I told him Sandy had just broken up with her boyfriend and really needed me. Not much he could do about that, and it felt good to stand up to him, to finally do something for me. Of course he spat it and stormed out of the house, but he’ll get over it.’ Tegan smiled and started rising out of her chair. ‘Anyway, I just wanted to catch up with you before I left. I’d better head back and pack. I can’t wait to get to the city,’ she said.

Indi had wanted to tell Tegan about Troy, to offload on her friend, but she couldn’t do that to Tegan, not now. She just smiled and reached out to hug Tegan again. ‘You have a good time, okay? Feel free to call me and tell me how much fun you’re having.’ Indi pulled a face.

‘Oh, I’ll try. Besides, I’ll need to know how the team goes. Wish Jasper luck for me,’ she said, squeezing Indi extra tight.

Before Indi knew it, Tegan was driving down the road, and Indi was left saying goodbye to someone she loved, again.

Saturday came around quickly; Indi spent the whole week focused on work. In fact, she lived and breathed it. If she wasn’t working for CBH, then she was helping her dad with bookwork, cleaning the house, assisting in the shed, washing the spray trucks down. She couldn’t be idle. It also helped that, being so exhausted, she could fall into bed and sleep, not lie there and think. Thinking was bad. Yearning for Troy was bad. How could she stop? She missed training again on Thursday. She figured the less she saw of him, the easier it would be. That way when he left town, she’d be able to cope.

But she missed the guys. She missed their teasing, joking and footy talk. It was the only reason she was going to Spud’s bonfire tonight. Jasper had assured her Troy wasn’t going.

Throwing on jeans, a long-sleeve top, knitted jumper and her boots, she was ready. She left her hair out, to help keep her warm and so her beanie would fit. A big esky with her drinks went on the back of her ute, along with her and Jasper’s swags, and they shoved their big jackets in the front.

‘Ready to go?’ she asked.

‘Yep.’

Jasper watched her as they pulled out of the driveway, like he had something on his mind. He’d been like this all week. Watching her. At times he looked like he wanted to say something but then he’d stop, usually because she was running about, always on her way somewhere. She knew he was worried. Even her dad had asked if something was wrong. Their house was the cleanest it had ever been – even the cupboards and fridge had been scrubbed – the garden was weeded and there wasn’t a piece of dirty laundry left in the whole house. Indi was amazed at what she could get done if she didn’t stop.