The Other Brother (Snow and Ash Book 3) (24 page)

“It was Captain Barry! I swear, he said you issued the order!”

“What order?” The steel, the cruelty, the promise of death. The voice belongs to Kent.

“He said we were to kill her. Make good and sure she was dead, and then dump the body. He said it came from you!” The man’s voice goes higher, more frantic at the end, and I peek out from my coffin.

Past the bloodied, sightless eyes of my attacker stands another Barry uniform. Kent holds a gun to the soldier’s forehead, and his other hand is wrapped around the man’s neck.

“I gave no such order,” Kent spits. He glares at the man for a moment and then grits his teeth, steps back, and shoves his gun into its holster. “Clean up this goddamn mess. Now. Then wait for me outside. If I see any of you near her again, I’ll kill you.”

Wordlessly Kent scoops me up and carries me to the bedroom. I’ve already made the bed, crisp and perfect, just the way he likes it, so he lays me down across the covers. I roll into a protective ball as he unfolds the decorative quilt. It hovers over me for a pregnant moment, but Kent goes still. It’s like the coil of tension that comes just before the pounce, and my skin prickles.

He flicks the quilt aside. I flinch as he touches a shaking finger to one of my scars. I’m sick as he traces feathery whip lines all the way down to the small of my back. He stops when he reaches the whore.

Why is he doing this to me? Is he admiring his work or regretting it? Is he as sick as I am now that I am impure?

“Who did this?” His voice rumbles with a deadly sort of rage.

I shake my head. I claw against the tangled ropes of confusion. I vomit into my mouth and then swallow it back.

He grips my shoulder hard. “Who did this?”

A few hours ago I would have spread my legs for him and thanked him for the honor. Now my skin rots under the pressure of his hand. “You.”

Although I don’t look, I feel him stiffen. He straightens. “I had no part in this.”

I shake my head, and my body vibrates at this latest betrayal. “Liar.”

My voice breaks.

Swearing, he grasps my shoulder again and rolls me onto my back. The whore is hidden now, but my clearly delineated ribs greet him and he flinches.

“Don’t pretend you don’t know. Your own brother was there!” I claw at the hand pressing my shoulder into the mattress. I’d bite him if I could reach.

Kent grabs my hands and pins me down. He climbs on top of me and grips me between his knees. I arch up, trying to buck him off, but he’s heavier than me. Stronger than me. I glare at him, and when I do, I see Kent’s got a bit of crazy going on in his own eyes.

“What happened?” he demands through clenched teeth. “Tell me!”

I roll my eyes shut. My breasts are fully available to him, and their tininess rests against a body that refuses food. But it’s my soul that’s naked. I gasp my last breath of pride.

“Right after you said we were going home,” I begin, my voice filled with all the hatred, betrayal, and grief that’s been festering inside me. “Tish and I were together in our cell when Nico and Ayden came. They brought soldiers—Barry soldiers.”

If I open my eyes, I’ll see the Barry uniform, and if I do, I’ll chew through it until its wearer is dead. “They carried out your orders because you were too close to do what had to be done.”

I force my eyes open. Shock and doubt frost his face, and I want to spit on him. “Don’t you dare tell me it wasn’t you. The soldiers stripped us and chained us naked to the wall, and then Nico and Ayden opened up our backs. The whole time, all I could think about was trust. How could you do this to me, when you knew I’d given everything to you? Ayden had this metal thing heating in a bucket of hot coals. She used it to brand our crimes in the smalls of our backs. ‘Whore’ for me, and whatever, something on Tish too.”

Kent blinks rapidly, taking in my shorn hair, my half-starved body, and shakes his head. “That can’t be.”

Stinking coward! I try to buck him off me again, but all he does is press me farther into the mattress. “Look me straight in the eye and tell me you didn’t have Nico shove us naked and bleeding into dog kennels and send us off to the woods to be shot.”

Kent’s lips part. He glares at me, but…that’s not anger. He shifts his eyes away.

“See? You can’t. All we had was a scratchy piece of wool, and because of our wounds we couldn’t cover ourselves. Tish fought the whole way. She never gave up, not even for a moment.” I am so proud of her. She’s a warrior, a queen.

“What about you?” His voice breaks a little at the end.

What is it he wants from me? Forgiveness? Reassurance that he’s not all monster? I can’t do that. It would be a lie.

I shake my head very slowly. “No. They said you wanted this, and I believed them. I never knew about Dad’s plans, but I just felt like, if you thought I deserved it, then I did. I tried really hard, but I knew I’d never be what you needed me to be. I’m not beautiful like Ayden. I’m not witty, I’m not sleek and sophisticated, and when you yell at me, I don’t punch you like someone like her would. I cry. No, I didn’t fight. My body went numb from the cold, and I thought it was mercy. We smelled like burnt steak, and all I could think about was how much you must hate me, that I never knew you at all.”

He ducks his head and turns away, exposing his burns to me. He seems to notice for the first time that he has me pinned, and abruptly he releases me.

He doesn’t meet my eyes even for a second, and I swear if I didn’t know him better, it looks like he’s going to cry.

He literally backs out of the room.

“Don’t you dare—” begins Janice.

“Go in there and stay with her,” he says, and his tone is anything but military, anything but crisp. His voice shakes. “I’ll send my driver for her mother and that assistant of hers. I don’t want her alone for even a second.”

“What about those soldiers?” demands Janice.

“They’ll stay for now. I’ll send replacements within the hour. They won’t be in uniform, but they’ll carry orders bearing my signature. Kent Stanton Barry. If it’s signed any other way, it didn’t come from me.”

“Okay?”

“After that no one enters or leaves this house. No one.”

My top hangs on a towel hook, and Mom is very carefully clipping away, then shaving the mess in my armpit when the knocker sounds.

I stiffen. Our eyes meet, and we both listen as Janice opens the door.

“Come in, Colonel. Bianca’s occupied for a moment, but she’ll be out soon.”

Mom sighs. “Honey…”

“It’s okay. Could you do the other side? It’s so gross.”

Mom seems encouraged. She clips the nest under my other arm, soaps it up, and neatly shaves the pit bald.

“There you go, sweetie,” she says and kisses the top of my head. I try not to flinch. She tugs the old Gap sweatshirt from the hook, and I slip it over my head. A mixture of dread and longing tingles down my back as I exit the bathroom and drift down the hall.

It’s odd seeing Kent perched on the edge of the couch, his hat in his hands. He sends my heart fluttering, just as he always has. Just as he always will. He stands as we enter the room.

“Mrs. Mason.” He nods at my mother. Then he turns to me.

He breathes my name, Bianca, and it sounds like flowers spun from gold, blessed by the goddess moon and brought on the backs of winged fairies.

His gaze moves over my eyes, my lips, my hands curled at my sides. It’s like a caress.

Mom stands beside me like a Rottweiler protecting her puppy.

Kent pulls his attention away. “I’d like a private moment with your daughter.”

“No.” It’s the mom voice. It’s the Ha! Absolutely not kind of no that means no way in hell.

She protects me. I love her more every day. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine.”

She glares. “Don’t you dare—”

“I won’t. Okay?”

Mom inhales and looks away, and with a twist of her lips she holds out her hand for Janice, and the two of them head back for Janice’s bedroom. Leslie trails behind.

He steps closer and my entire being hums to life. It’s like we fit, mind, body, and soul, in a sick, twisted alternate universe that shouldn’t exist but does. He sets his hat on the back of a chair and runs his fingers down my arms, takes my hands, and holds them in his. I can almost hear him gathering his thoughts.

It hurts. “Thank you for coming when you did. I know you saved my life.”

He jerks up, and I don’t miss the eagerness in his eyes.

“But I don’t want you coming here anymore,” I finish before he can speak.

The light in his eyes goes out. “I didn’t…I didn’t order what happened to you.”

“I know.” I do. Now.

“I thought you were going home.” His eyes literally plead for my forgiveness. It’s so unlike him. So very un-Kent, and I have to look away.

I focus on our hands, entwined like lovers—like lovers saying good-bye. “I’ll never be normal,” I confess. “I’ll never be quite right. Mom and Janice want me to find a routine. They say if I do the same things at the same time in the same way, every day, it’ll help me. I think they’re wrong. But I’m hoping it’ll help me not feel.”

“I’m so sorry.” The naked pain in his voice sears me.

I don’t want him to think I hate him. I don’t. I love him. I always will. But he’s commander in chief of Knoxville. He has a ferocious wife, one who acts like she was born to formal society and could probably take on the devil and win. That’s what he needs, not me. He has his name to think of.

“Thank you for everything,” I tell him. I shake my head. “Everyone knows about Lawrence. Everyone knows about Nico. No one talks about the other brother. You’re the best of them all, and I’m so grateful to have known you.”

He flinches. He looks to the ceiling and sucks in his lips. His hands release mine, and he runs his knuckles over my cheek, tucks a stub of hair behind my ear. His face screams nakedness and pain.

My resolve fades as he bends his head to kiss me. I tilt my head, and his lips touch mine. They’re soft. They’re gentle. He fills me with aching sweetness.

But he’s married. To Ayden.

He steps back. He opens his mouth as though to say something, then closes it. He nods—at what, I don’t know.

I’m still standing in that same spot when the car door slams. I hear the tires back out of the drive. Then the engine fades into the distance.

~ ~ ~

Two days later a crisp white envelope flies through the mail slot. I rush to the window, but the retreating figure is no one I know.

Janice picks it up and inspects the front. “It’s for you, Bianca.”

I don’t know if I want it. I snatch it out of her hands, and my hands shake as I tear open the envelope.

Dear Bianca,

When I first saw you with your hair skinned back in that hideous braid, I wanted to free it from that band and bury my face in it. You held yourself like any second you’d fly apart into a million pieces. You spoke to me without ever saying a word. But you were here for my brother. Then Nico acted like Nico, and you became mine.

I have a confession to make. Sick bastard that I am, I’ve taken more than one nice girl and trained her to take cock like it’s the only thing she’s meant for. When you told me you were broken, I thought I could fix you. It didn’t work out the way I meant. It was you that molded me. I’d spend hours in my office, training troops or doing unspeakable things that would make you cringe, just to avoid you. But I couldn’t stay away.

You thought you were plain, but that wild blonde hair of yours makes me want to do bad things. Those eyes of yours are crazy beautiful, and every time you look at me, I ache. You curve in all the right places, and when I see you, half the time I’m thinking of bending you over the nearest chair and fucking you until you scream. Your lips. God, your tongue. You suck me like a dream. You wait hours on your knees, naked and ready, and when I come to you, you serve me like no submissive I’ve ever trained. You are the kindest person I know, and your thoughtfulness takes my breath away. God took away my face, and then he consoled me with the richest gem on earth. You.

Men like me don’t give. We take. I demanded trust from you, and you gave it. I took everything you had, gladly. You showed me loyalty and obedience in every way possible, and in return I gave you my cock. I didn’t think anyone could truly care for me, not after the fire turned my face into a revolting mess. I was angry, and I felt betrayed, and despite the evidence, I jumped on the belief that you’d been using me all along.

People know the Barrys are ruthless. We got where we are today with cunning, careful planning, and brutality. When it came time to kill you and your sister, I couldn’t. I stood there with my gun pointed at the base of your skull, and I couldn’t even recite the charges. You were my greatest treasure.

A week after you left, I was informed your party had been attacked by raiders and that there were no survivors. All that remained were pieces of what used to be people. I grieved for you even though I still thought you were guilty. Through it all, Ayden stayed at my side, comforting me, and in return I stood with her in front of Lawrence and joined my life with hers. At that time I knew her as an intelligent and charming woman who would take the pain I inflicted and walk away like a satisfied cat. I had no idea that a malicious, deceitful cunt hid behind that well-bred face.

It was only after your father’s confession that I understood how deeply I’d betrayed you. I take full blame for what Nico and Ayden did to you and your sister. If I’d trusted you, as I demanded you trust me, none of this would have happened. I’d apologize, but I don’t have words to cover anything like this.

By now Nico and his entourage have crossed into the mountains. He will never return to Knoxville, and he can never hurt you again. As for Ayden, well, you won’t be seeing her around either.

I will do everything in my power to find your sister. I swear this to you.

I also swear that you won’t have to see me again. I’ve done enough to ruin your life, and it’s time you had some peace. You deserve it.

With respect,