The Other Brooks Boy (Texas Wildfire Series) (16 page)

"Thank
you," Cara said, and blew out a pent up breath and blinked a time or two.
"Please let's discuss this calmly."

Silence reigned.
Neither of her children would even look at her, and it dawned on her that
battle lines had never been drawn in such a manner, with her on one side and
her children in solidarity on the other. It cut her to the quick.

"Please
know that I will forever regret you finding out about my relationship with Greg
in this way. I know it's shocked you and hurt you both. I'm so sorry for
that," she said. Still she got no response. "Ryan, I told Maddie, and
I'll tell you, too. We didn't want to confuse you guys and put you through this
... this mess if we didn't think it was going to go anywhere. We were confused
by our changing relationship in the beginning and didn't think it was wise to
reveal it until we were sure about our feelings."

Ryan finally
raised his face to look at her, but his expression was so full of bored
contempt until she wished he'd hide it again. "So. Would you have told us
if I hadn't found all that shit on your phone?"

Cara nodded.
"Yes, we decided this weekend that we were ready to share this with you
and Maddie ... and with your grandmother."

Confusion
flitted across his brow. "Wait ... this weekend ... " He frowned at Greg,
then turned back to Cara. "He was with you this weekend?"

They both
nodded. Cara felt unaccountably guilty for having snuck away with Greg, and
hated how that immediately tarnished what had been one of the most wonderful
weekends of her life.

Ryan closed his
eyes and let his head fall back against the sofa back. "God, that makes me
sick."

Cara let him
settle for a moment before asking. "Why does it make you sick for me to
care about someone? Especially someone you know and love? What about that is so
terrible?"

Ryan looked at
her like she'd lost her mind for even asking, then turned his attention to
Greg. "She's your brother's wife, man. Your dead brother's wife," he
furthered. "That's low, man."

"So you
think--" Greg began, but Ryan cut him off.

"What I
wanna know is how you sleep at night. I mean, your brother's wife," he
said, his voice full of judgmental wonder.

"My
brother's
widow,"
Greg reminded him. "And I didn't plan this,
Ryan. Neither of us did. It's just something that's happened to us as we've
dealt with Jason's death. We grew closer and closer and our feelings for one
another changed," Greg explained.

"Yeah, well
doesn't it make you stop and think ... if Dad were still alive that they'd
still be happily married?" Ryan asked.

Greg didn't have
an answer for that, and Cara didn't know what to say even though she knew that
the statement was most likely false. Her marriage to Jason was perilously close
to over when he'd died.

"You can't
say anything to that, can you?" Ryan asked sarcastically.

"Stop it,
Ryan," Maddie said firmly. "Mom and Dad's marriage was far from
perfect. In fact, I'm not sure they'd still be together even if he were still
alive," she said, surprising Cara with her perception and honest truth of
the situation.

"Are you
fucking kidding me?" Ryan cried. He got to his feet and paced the carpet
for a moment, then turned around and faced them again, driving his hands into
his hair. "Is there anything left to believe in around here? Huh? Anything
at all?" His face was contorted with grief. "First my mom, then my
uncle ... now my parents' marriage?" He turned to look at Maddie, shaking
his head, sad and angry. "What the fu ... " he trailed off and
slumped back down to sit beside his sister in disbelief.

Maddie didn't
look at him. "I just didn't want you making Mom and Dad's marriage into
something that it wasn't ... something that might make it harder for Mom and
Uncle Greg in the future," she said quietly.

Ryan turned to
her, disbelieving. "So you're okay with this?" he asked, flinging his
arm at Cara and Greg.

Maddie shrugged.
"I don't know."

"Well, I
can tell you all for damn sure that I'm not ever gonna be okay with this,"
he said to no one in particular, then focused on Greg. "Not fuckin'
ever."

"Stop using
that kind of language, Ryan. It's offensive."

Ryan got back to
his feet angrily. "Well, '
scuse
me if I feel a
little bit offended right now. I've lost respect for every freakin' role model
in my life today. How do you think you'd feel, dude?" He walked across the
room and jerked open the front door, walked out, and slammed it behind himself.

They all took a
moment to recover after Ryan's exit. The quiet was disquieting somehow.

"Maddie,
why didn't you talk to me about your thoughts on this before now?" Cara
asked gently.

Maddie dropped
her gaze into her lap and shrugged, looking young and vulnerable suddenly. Cara
couldn't stand it. She moved across the way and gathered Maddie in her arms.

"I didn't
know you were aware that things were rocky between us. I'm sorry."

Maddie sniffed,
burying her face in Cara's bosom. "I know." In a moment she raised
her head to look at Cara. "I'm a lot like you, I guess. I keep the bad
stuff all hidden and only let the world see the happy stuff." It wasn't a
statement that really expected an answer, Cara knew, so she pressed her
daughter back under her chin and closed her eyes against the pain of it all.
God, what a night.

Greg had left
them alone for a few minutes, but she found him then, standing near the sink in
the kitchen, head bowed, eyes closed as he pinched at the bridge of his nose.
He heard her enter, looked up and opened his arms. She walked into his embrace
as if it were her only safe harbor.

"Did Ryan
come back?" she asked, a muffled sound in his shirtfront.

"No. I
figured I'd best leave him alone for a little while."

She nodded, her
forehead bumping against his chest.

Greg ran his
hands up and down her back in slow, soothing strokes. "Are you okay?"

"Not
really," she said honestly, then pulled back a little to see his face.
"Are you?"

"I feel
like I've been hit by a Mack truck," he said.

She nodded.
"I'm sorry Ryan was so hateful, Greg."

"I expected
him to be full of piss and vinegar." He tilted his head a little. "I
didn't expect he'd actually take a swing at me though. That surprised me."

"Oh, my
Lord, I know," she said, full of awe. "I'm so glad you ducked
quickly. Oh, that would have been horrible." She kissed his jaw.
"Thank you for staying so calm."

"Calm, my
ass. I about put him on the floor," Greg assured her.

"But you
didn't. And I thank you for keeping your wits about you." She laid her
head back on his chest and she wished he could hold her all night long again
tonight, protecting her from any more hurt. She'd had a bucket full today.

"You and I
need to talk about some things, girl."

"Well, it's
not going to be tonight, my love," she told him. "I'm exhausted and
I'm sure you are, too."

"I'm pretty
beat," he admitted. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Go home.
I'll call you in the morning," she promised.

He pushed her off
his chest so he could look in her eyes. "You sure you don't want me to
wait until Ryan comes home?"

She shook her
head decisively. "Nope. In fact, I think it would be better if you were
gone by then. He needs some space, I'm sure."

Greg agreed.
"Okay. Come close the garage door behind me. My bag is still out
there."

She followed him
to the door, and he paused to kiss her sweetly. "I love you, Cara. This
will all work out, darlin'."

"I know.
Just hurts right now."

"Call
me," he said, grabbing his bag and walking to his truck.

She nodded and
pushed the button to close the garage door, then closed the door leading to the
garage and leaned back against it tiredly.

"I'm going
to bed, Mom," Maddie called from the other room.

"Okay,
Maddie," she called back. Then added, "I love you."

There was a
second of hesitation. "I love you, too, Mom."

Cara let it
soothe her, those words of affirmation from her child, but it lasted only a
short time before worry about her son seeped in to steal the peace it lent. She
wondered where he might be, then moved to the kitchen window to peek out,
relieved to see Maddie's car parked in its usual place in the driveway. Maybe
he was walking to let off some steam. Or going to a friend's house. She didn't really
have any idea where he might be, but she made sure the front door was unlocked
and went to her room, dragging her suitcase behind her. He was a big boy ...
nearly a man, she corrected her thinking, remembering how he'd taken a swing at
Greg. Surely he could manage to take care of himself out there in the dark.

In an hour or
so, she heard him moving around in his room above her, and she was finally able
to close her eyes and sleep, putting an end to one of the most wonderful and
most horrible days of her life.

The complete
dearth of communication from her was not a good sign, Greg realized about
eleven o'clock Monday morning as he worked in his office. Usually, they would
have exchanged a text or two and possibly even talked on the phone by now. He'd
tried her cell phone on his way to work and got voice mail. That wasn't a big
deal. She might have been working out or in the shower. But to have gotten to
this time of day and had no communication from her was not a good sign at all.

He knew it was
Ryan's reaction to their relationship that caused it. She probably couldn't
call until Ryan left for school, not wanting to inflame his anger again, then
didn't want to call with an unchanged report. Greg had to admit to himself that
it was pretty much as bad as she'd predicted it would be. Ryan was a hot head,
reminded Greg so much of Jason as a teen. All testosterone and muscle-headed
... cocky and stubborn. Why wouldn't Ryan be like his father had been? It was
in his genes, in his rearing.

It didn't bode
well for their future prospects for a happy family life.

Not that he and
Cara had really gone so far as to plan that. They hadn't. But the weekend had
revealed strong feelings and bonded them in a way he hadn't expected. And the
sex. Damn, the sex had been hot. The best. But it was so much more than that.
He'd spoken the truth to her. It had swelled up and taken over, and he'd spoken
straight from his heart. He did want her in his mornings and nights ... he
wanted her on the phone when it rang, and involved in every decision he made.
He had missed her last night in his bed and knew he'd have slept a hell of a
lot better with his arms wrapped around her, her palm rubbing back and forth
across his ribs the way she did when she snuggled up to his side go to sleep.
He wanted it all.

He shouldn't be
surprised to find himself in love with her. He'd always liked her. As far back
as he could remember, he'd liked Cara. You could hardly not. And he respected
her. She was a great mom, a loyal and faithful wife, a hard worker. She told
him he was the whole enchilada, but in truth, it fit Cara better than him. She
was just so damn likeable. And years of family ties and the births of Maddie
and Ryan, children he loved and doted on, especially since he had none of his
own, made it easy to love Cara and appreciate her for the woman she was.

So to wake up in
love with her after all these years of liking her, respecting her, and admiring
her shouldn't surprise him at all. Maybe the real surprise was that she loved
him, too. That was nothing short of a miracle to him.

His phone rang,
and it made him smile ear to ear that it was her.

"Good
mornin', Sunshine," he said, happy to finally hear from her today.

"I'd call
myself partly-cloudy at best," she said, and he could plainly hear the
fatigue in her voice.

"That bad,
huh?"

She sighed.
"It's pretty bad. He came home about an hour after you left, but I was
already in bed. Not sleeping, but in bed hoping he'd come home. But this
morning, he wouldn't even look at me, much less talk to me."

"Still mad,
I guess." It was early in the game, and this was a big deal, Greg knew.

"I'm sure.
He didn't say, but it was all over his expression and his body language."

Greg didn't know
what to say to her exactly. The silence hung there a moment as each of them
waded through their own thoughts.

She signed
again. "I'm really worried, Greg. What if he doesn't get over this?"
Her voice was weak and emotional.

"He
will," Greg assured her. "He's just like Jason. He's got to pitch his
fit then smolder about it for a while, make everyone as miserable as he is,
then he'll slowly get over it." Greg leaned back in his chair and pushed a
hand through his hair in frustration.

"I hope
so," Cara said, and he wanted nothing more than to go to her and hold her
in his arms and reassure her that it was all going to work out.

"Can you
meet me at Mom's tomorrow night to talk to her? I don't want to leave her
hanging on this either."

"I'll see
how things are tonight. Hopefully, he'll chill and I'll feel like I can take
the time away from home tomorrow. I feel badly that Barbara got sorta
overlooked in the fray last night."

"Yeah, me,
too. I'll call her and tell her we'll try for tomorrow."

"Okay,"
she said, her voice so small it actually made him angrier at Ryan for the worry
he was causing Cara.

"Don't
worry, Cara. It'll work out, babe. Really," he said, hoping to infuse her
with his optimism.

"I hope
so," was the best she could manage.

"Talk to
you later. I love you," he said.

"I love
you, too, Greg," she told him, and it made him feel better.

***

They met at
Barbara's house on Tuesday evening.  Barbara handled it far better than
Cara's children did. She was calm, certainly more so now that the shock of it
had worn off. Actually, she told them that she'd suspected their feelings were
changing as early as the birthday party in the summer, during which they'd had
their first spat.

Barbara adjusted
a nearby throw pillow, making a perfect dent in the top, just fussing with
something.  "It was clear to me then that something was going on. I
just didn't know what precisely," she told them. "I thought perhaps
one of you was smitten, and the other not interested, and it was causing
tension." She waved her hand around indecisively. "Or something like
that. I could see that you all had some strong emotions between you that
night."

"Are you
all right with this, Barbara?" Cara asked, and nervously awaited the
answer. What in the world would they do if she said no?

Barbara took a
deep breath and seemed to consider a moment. "Well, if I'm completely
honest, I wasn't at first. It felt so sneaky ... like you were cheating on
Jason or something. But that's not reality, is it?"

"No, it's
not," Greg said, his voice sure. "Jason is dead."

Barbara frowned
to hear him put it so bluntly, then took another deep breath and nodded,
accepting the truth of his words, regardless of how raw it rubbed. "Yes,
he is. And you two denying your feelings and staying apart is foolish. He would
want you to be happy, Cara."

Cara wasn't all
that convinced, but nodded just the same. No need to air their
infidelity-stained laundry in front of his mother.

"And the
truth of the matter is that, selfishly, it's a win-win situation for me. I have
always loved you as my daughter-in-law and have been proud of the way you've
loved my son and raised my grandchildren. Why wouldn't I be happy that you love
another of my sons?" She looked at Cara with such sweet devotion it
brought tears to Cara's eyes.

"Thank you,
Barbara," she said, her voice wobbly.

"I am,
however, very concerned about my grandchildren and how they are feeling. This
was an enormous shock to both of them. And Ryan will not handle it well, I
don't believe."

"He's
not," Greg said. He shook his head in a slightly disgusted fashion, then
leaned back against the sofa cushion and crossed an ankle over his knee.

Barbara's gaze
went back and forth between Cara and Greg sitting side-by-side on her sofa.

"So it was
horrible when he came home Sunday night?"

Cara nodded.
"Pretty bad."

"That's an
understatement," Greg said, and Cara knew he continued to be irritated by
Ryan's behavior. And she'd downplayed some of it to him, for this exact reason.
Ryan had yet to speak to Cara, and had acted hateful and childish when she tried
to speak to him. Even Maddie was growing impatient with him.

"He's
dealing with a lot right now," Cara said, making excuses for him.

Greg nodded in a
way that said he'd heard it all before. "Yeah, he is. But don't coddle
this behavior, Cara. There are ways to deal with him. Rewarding his tantrum it
not wise," he said. It was as plain-spoken as he'd been about his feelings
so far.

"I know you
feel that's true, Greg, but I know my son. And I know that if I push him
further right now--" she stopped and shook her head. "I don't know
what he'll do," she said honestly.

"And that's
exactly what he wants to you do," Greg said, his voice rising.
"Nothing. He wants you to be paralyzed by your fear of his anger so that
you are afraid to do anything he doesn't want you to do." He punctuated
his strong statement with one of those authoritative looks from under his
raised brows. Lord, it sounded so calculated and hateful when he put it like
that. Cara had a hard time ascribing that much manipulative thought to her son.

"I don't
know, Greg. I think he's just confused and hurt."

"By
what?"

Cara could feel
her own frustration rising. "By this," she answered smartly, knowing
he was leading her, but irritated that she couldn't seem to see where. "By
our relationship."

"Oh, you
mean the fact that you're not willing to put aside your needs and wants and,
hell, your very life? That you're not willing to wear sack cloth and ashes and
mourn Jason for the rest of your life?"

She didn't know
what to say to that. It was pretty much what Ryan seemed to expect of her, but
again ... it sounded so harsh. "I don't know, Greg," she finally
said, her own voice rising. "This is uncharted territory for us all. It's
confusing and ... hard," she said for lack of a better description.

He looked at
her, but said nothing, and the room got suddenly smaller. Barbara said nothing,
but watched them, a look of motherly concern on her face. Cara was vaguely
aware of it, her focus on the man beside her who seemed to be filling up with
impatient anger.

"What do
you want from me, Greg?" she asked, her voice growing quieter.

"I want you
to deal with him effectively, Cara. Molly-coddling him and letting him have his
way when he acts like this is not serving anyone well. Not Ryan. And damn well
not us."

"I wouldn't
call it molly-coddling. I just can't get past his anger right now. He won't
even talk to me," she said, frustrated with him for critiquing her
parenting. Again.

"Fine. Let
him stew." Greg shrugged like he didn't give a damn. "But do what you
want to do. What
we
want to do. Let me come over there ... be there ...
be present so he can get used to it."

They had had
this argument on the phone last night, but Cara still felt it wouldn't be wise,
that it would only serve to irritate Ryan further. She didn't know what else to
say. They were at a complete impasse about it. She looked to Barbara for
wisdom, shrugging.

Barbara looked a
bit put on the spot. "Well, I try hard not to be a meddling mother-in-law,
but in truth, Cara, I feel Greg has a valid point. If there's one regret I have
in my own mothering, it's that I allowed Jason to manipulate me like Ryan is
doing you now. He did it his whole life, and I trained him well, dancing at the
end of his string until he was grown. Then he did it to you. I watched it for
years, to my regret."

Cara could not
deny the truth of that at all. Jason could work her like a ten piece puzzle,
arranging and rearranging her feelings and actions until he was happy. Was she
teaching Ryan to do the same thing? Suddenly overwhelmed by all of it, Cara
pushed to her feet. It wasn't enough that she felt practically controlled by
her child's feelings, now she felt a little ganged up on by Greg and Barbara.

"Give us
some time to work this out, okay?" she said. "I need to go. It's a school
night.” She gathered her purse, so scattered and bruised by the last
forty-eight hours and all the high-strung emotion in her life until she could
hardly think straight.

***

It felt like a shut
out to Greg. Cara wouldn’t even allow him to try with Ryan, sure that he was
finally coming around. He’d actually spoken to his mother today, to Cara's
great relief, a full five days after the weekend’s big reveal. Greg couldn’t
convince Cara this is exactly how Ryan was manipulating her, finally rewarding
Cara for her good behavior by talking to her. It was co-dependency at its best,
but Cara couldn’t see it. Greg was so aggravated by it all.

He and Cara
hadn't seen one another since Tuesday's exercise in futility at his mom's
house. They could hardly talk on the phone without arguing, so he’d actually
avoided calling her today, texting several times instead, but he missed her so
badly he practically ached. Add to that his frustration with Ryan and a strong
dose of sexual need, and Greg was a keg of powder looking for a place to
detonate by evening.

Working out
usually helped, spending some of that pent up frustration, so he changed
clothes after work and found himself in his garage gym, like so many other
Friday nights in the past few years. And that thought pissed him off even more.
He was in a committed relationship with a woman he loved, yet, here he was,
working out his body until he was exhausted so he might sleep. Alone. Full of
need and anger and loneliness.