The Orphans of Race Point: A Novel (16 page)

Jack cleared the table. “It’s her I’m worried about,” he said. “She’s not a member of the parish. Why did she come to you? Hell, how does she even know you exist?” Then he looked around for his shoes.“Speaking of intractable problems, I’m off to meet with the St. Vincent de Paul Society. It seems Barbara Malloy’s been showing up at meetings half in the wrapper again . . .”

Catching sight of the kitchen clock that Sandra had picked up at a yard sale, Gus realized he was late for the hospital himself.

Jane and Stella took their spots at their respective windows as Gus started the car. He played back his most recent cell-phone messages. There were two from Sandra, one sounding woeful, the second simply determined:

Listen, Gus, you got to get over here. Things ain’t lookin’ good. I need the Last Rites—or whatever it is you call it these days. And then, when you’re done praying over me, you can get me the hell out of here.

Then, an hour later:
Hey, Gus, forget that damsel-in-distress call I made a little while ago. These people been poking at me and bothering me so much, I’m too pissed off to die. And I won’t be needing a ride, either. I got my own plans.

T
he elevator at the hospital was
so slow in coming that finally Gus took the stairs two at a time. He burst through the third-floor door with his usual greeting to the nurses and aides. Cocking his head in the direction of Sandra’s room, he asked, “How’s she doing?”

“She called a cab about ten minutes ago,” a nurse named Robin said. “I’m surprised you didn’t run into her. Barely able to stand, but she wobbled out of here on those spike heels of hers, holding the cabbie’s arm like they were heading for a dance.”

“AMA?” Gus said, using the hospital shorthand for
against medical advice
. It wasn’t the first time that Sandra had gotten impatient with her illness and left without a discharge.

“You got it,” Robin said while two aides nodded their head in semi-amused agreement.

“Thanks, Rob. I’ll give Jack a buzz and let him know.” Gus set out on his rounds in a distracted state, but as always his work made him forget everything else. In the pediatric ward, Gus retold the old fishing legends his father had recounted when he was a boy, fantastic stories about fishermen in the Azores who had hauled in mythical creatures and monsters instead of fish, who disappeared for years into kingdoms beneath the sea only to be returned to their families full of mystical knowing and secret powers.

In the adult wards, he prayed with and anointed those who wanted it, and listened to those who had grown bitter at the Church, but who accepted his obvious kindness. The old, and those who had forgotten any identity but pain, clung to him with particular fervor. “Everything’s going to be all right
,”
he said gently, but with conviction. “I promise.” The healing words he’d learned from Nick when he was a boy never failed to soothe.

I
n the car, he checked his
cell. A few new messages had accumulated during the hours he’d spent at the hospital, including two from a blocked number that were silent.

He was thinking of Ava and her daughter when Neil’s voice burst through the phone, reminding him again about the reunion at the Last Knot.

Gus couldn’t help smiling. Though he enjoyed Liam’s stories about Neil, he never expected to rekindle the relationship with his childhood friend. Then one night when he and Liam had stopped off at a local bar for a beer after a game of pickup basketball, the subject came up.

“You were more of a brother to him than I ever was, Gus,” Liam said. “I tried. We all did. But when it came to the family, Neil seemed to be born with a chip on his shoulder.”

Gus stared into his brew. “Your parents didn’t even show up when he was nominated for a Tony. Isn’t that what you told me?”

“Guess it all comes down to that old conundrum about the chicken and the egg.”

“Yeah, and in this case, I know what came first,” Gus said. He finished his beer and rose from his stool.

“See what I mean? You always stood up for him—no matter what. You’re
still
doing it.”

“It was the other way around. I was the kid from the bad family, remember?”

“Okay, it worked both ways, then. Do you have any idea how rare that is?” Liam said. “Sure, Neil’s got a ton of friends in the city, but he’s never really gotten close to anyone since he left Ptown.”

“I think about him and pray for him every day—even though I know he’d hate that. Last summer, I even went to see him when they did
The Importance of Being Earnest.
He was terrific.”

“He saw you in the audience, but then you disappeared. I think he’s afraid you’ve never forgiven him for—”

“Of course I have,” Gus said uncomfortably. “Neil was so drunk that night he probably doesn’t even recall what he did. Unfortunately, I remember my actions.”

“So why don’t you call him?”

“Maybe I will,” Gus said.

Before he had a chance to follow through, Neil called him. “I hear you’ve been hanging out with my tightass brother,” he said, as if ten years hadn’t passed. As if they’d just spent a night driving around, or hanging out at the beach. “Is what he said true? Do you really forgive me?”

Gus could almost see Neil before him. “On two conditions. First, you forgive
me
.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. “Three lives were never the same after that night, including mine—because of what
I
did.”

“Don’t give yourself so much credit. You never hit me once. I was the one who—”

“Listen, I may have been half out of it, but I knew what you were feeling, and I kept pushing. In my own way, I was hitting every bit as hard as you were.”

“So you won’t say you forgive me?”

Neil sighed into the phone. “The kind of friends we were, Gus? We shouldn’t even be having this conversation. But sure, I forgive you. Now what’s your second condition?”

“Two tickets to your show when you come back to Wellfleet? I want to take our housekeeper’s daughter.”

“They’ll be waiting for you at the window. Opening night. Fifth row, center.”

Gus hadn’t realized how much he missed his friend and everything he stood for—childhood and home and the fierce loyalties that belonged to both—until he heard his voice. Still, he was surprised when Neil seemed to choke up as they said goodbye.

They’d seen each other once or twice every summer since then, and though it would never be the same, things had been remarkably easy between them. They went fishing a couple of times like they had when they were boys; they took a few bike rides, laughing after they raced each other up a hill; and every summer, Gus attended Neil’s play.

Still, he was surprised when Neil showed up for one of his masses. Gus was reading the Gospel when he spotted his friend in a pew near the back of the church, watching him so intensely that when their eyes met, Gus shuddered and looked away. The next time he glanced toward the rear of the church, Neil was gone.

Later, Gus thought of bringing it up, but then he decided against it. Who knew what had drawn Neil to the church that day? A desire to see Gus in his element? A vague nostalgia for the religion he’d been taught as a child, and then rejected in adolescence? Perhaps even embarrassment at being seen? Whatever it was, Gus didn’t want to know.

Though he doubted his old friend would ever understand his life, he had begun to look forward to their occasional get-togethers. Still, the idea of a larger reunion scared him. He barely even visited his own family.

O
n the beach road, Gus rang
Neil’s number. “The Knot? Can you find a bigger dive?” he asked when Neil picked up.

“I prefer to think of it as a place with atmosphere,” Neil laughed, his old infectious enthusiasm brimming in his voice. “You mean you’re coming?”

“I didn’t say that. I’ve got to see what’s going on at the house, Neil. My housekeeper—”

“Hallie isn’t going to be there, if that makes a difference.”

Gus drew a sharp breath at the mention of her name. Though they had cautiously talked about home, she remained a forbidden topic. “That’s not it,” he said quickly, eager to change the subject. “But as you pointed out, the Church is in enough trouble without a priest skulking around the Knot.”

“You don’t have to
skulk
; you can sit at the bar and drink Shirley Temples if you want to. Come on, Gus. There’s supposed to be a good band. And how long’s it been since we’ve gotten together?”

“Okay, I’ll come—but I can’t stay long,” Gus said. He was approaching the place where he began and ended every day, no matter what the season. “Listen, my phone’s flickering in and out,” he said. “I’ll call you later. Or, better yet, I’ll just see you there.”

Before he said goodbye, Gus was peeling off his jacket and then his shirt, climbing out of the car to drop the jeans that covered his bathing suit, shedding his day. The wind spit a sharp flurry of sand against his legs. Forgetting everything, Gus tossed the phone through the car’s open window, and followed the dogs, who were already racing toward the surf.

G
us was the first one to
arrive at the Knot. Dressed in jeans, a hooded sweatshirt, and a Patriots cap, he reveled in the chance to represent nothing more exalted or controversial than the local fish-and-chips place whose name was emblazoned across his sweatshirt. He ordered a draft and slipped the bartender a generous tip.

Though Neil had told him Hallie wouldn’t be there, he found himself scanning the crowd for her. Liam was the one who had broken the news to Gus when she got married. “I know you don’t like to talk about her, but I thought you should know. As you can imagine, everyone was pretty stunned.”

What shocked Gus wasn’t so much
who
she had married. The choice made sense to him in a strange sort of way. It was that he knew so little about her life. “If you see her, tell her I said . . .” Then he shook his head. “No, on second thought, don’t. She already knows what I wish for her.”

While he was lost in thought, two women sat down at the bar. Gus glanced over at them discreetly, wondering if he might have known them in what felt like another lifetime.

“Mmm. Bailey’s. Best clam rolls on the Cape,” the one who was seated at the next stool said. “Do you work there or something?”

Gus laughed as he looked down at the logo. “Sometimes I wish I did. Actually, I’m a priest.”

The woman’s face froze for a minute, and then erupted in laughter. “Good one. I’m Jill,” she said. “And you’re Father—Father Bailey maybe?”

Her friend giggled. “If you’re a priest, the least you can do is buy us a couple of drinks. The Catholic Church messed me up for years. The way I see it, you guys owe me.”

Gus lowered his head and laughed briefly. Though he hadn’t been in a place like the Knot in years, he felt oddly at home. It reminded him of some of the bars in Provincetown, places where his father occasionally bought him a ginger ale when he came home from a successful fishing trip. He signaled for the bartender.

After ordering drinks for the women, he nodded and picked up his beer. He’d started toward the jukebox when he caught sight of Melissa, Neil’s ex-girlfriend from high school. She’d apparently been watching him for several moments from a booth in the corner.

“Gus Silva,” she said, shaking her head. “All that prayer, all those hours on the altar still haven’t managed to destroy it.”

He slid into the vinyl seat opposite her. “What are you talking about?”

“Your voodoo, of course.” Melissa glanced in the direction of the women at the bar.

“Those two were just trying to con someone into buying them a drink.” Gus felt himself grinning ridiculously at the sight of his old friend from home. And when Daisy appeared in the doorway with Sean Mello, he wondered why he had stayed away so long. They exchanged enthusiastic greetings before Gus excused himself to go to the men’s room. When he returned, Neil had arrived with Chad Mendoza and his wife, Erin.

“Too bad Hallie and Sam didn’t come,” Melissa was saying. “Since they’re on the Cape.”

“I guess she thought it would be awkward,” Daisy put in.

“She’s been married for what—five years now?” Neil said. “And he’s a priest, for Christ sake.”

Daisy sighed. “Though he sure as hell doesn’t look like one. What a waste.”

“So tell me, Daze. What’s a priest supposed to look like?” Gus said, as he stepped into the circle and gave her a hug.

“Not like you, bud. And they’re not supposed to feel this good either.
Damn
. It’s probably a good thing Hallie didn’t come.”

“Anyone see the beer I left at the booth with Melissa?” Gus asked, changing the subject as he took a seat between Chad and Erin.

“Forget the beer. It was piss warm, and tonight we’re having something better,” Neil said, producing a bottle of vanilla extract from his pocket. He was smiling, but his mood had clearly changed. “I already ordered a round.”

On cue, the waitress appeared with her tray, and set it directly on the table. “Captain and Cokes for everyone, right? The taste of old times.”

While the others reached for their drinks, Gus quietly told the waitress that he’d take another beer. No one but Neil seemed to notice when he discreetly pushed his mixed drink to the side.

“You okay, bro?” he asked from across the table. “You’re looking a little pale over there.”

Gus smiled. “I’m great—even if I feel like I’m in a time warp. I’ve been here five minutes and Daisy’s already giving me crap, and everyone’s getting buzzed on rum and Coke. The next thing you know someone’s going to ask me to build a bonfire.”

“Not a bad idea. How far is it to the beach?” Daisy asked.

When everyone else got up to dance, Gus turned to Neil. “I heard you talking about Hallie. Have you seen her?”

Neil took a long drink from his glass and then claimed the one Gus had abandoned. “She and her husband came to the theater last night.”

“I didn’t even know you two were in touch.” “Not often, but yeah, we talk. I apologized to Hallie a long time ago, Gus, and somehow she accepted it. I would’ve mentioned it, but, I don’t know, it’s still weird for us, isn’t it?”