The One You Want (7 page)

Can’t let myself care.

It was obvious Dane was as messed up about romantic entanglements as she was. The difference was she didn’t want to stay that way any longer. She wasn’t fighting change. She was ready to get out there and finally live her life, meet someone, fall in love and settle down. Norrie deserved a happy family.

Kenna released a long, heavy sigh. “I’m attracted to you, Dane.” The accent made the words seem less than sincere, so she added, “I am. I don’t want to be, but there you go. I’m attracted to you, and I can’t make it stop. But I’m not interested in a one-night stand or even in being your long-term booty call, on rotation. I’ve learned the value of a good reputation, and I don’t want to lose mine again. Because I’m not just responsible for myself anymore. I have my daughter. She means everything to me. Her own grandmother sometimes treats her like a nuisance, and some of the townspeople still haven’t forgotten that her mother can’t even name her father.”

Rambling. Right. Where was she going with this?

She guessed she should address that shocked look on his face.

“That’s right,” she said. “I don’t know who he is.”

His body coiled as tightly as a rubber band about to snap in two. “Were you...assaulted?” he asked gently.

“No. I was drunk.” She braved ahead, cupping his cheeks to make sure he was in the moment and not inside his own head.

He sucked in a breath, but gave no other reaction.

“I like you,” she said, “I really do, and I’d like to be your friend, just as you suggested. But if that prospect is too much for you now, well, I guess I’ll understand. Either way, there will be no more grabbing me and hauling me off. No more staring at my lips or caressing my jaw, making me think you want to kiss me senseless.”

A tense round of silence before he gritted, “I...like you, too.”

Disappointment that he hadn’t said it more quickly turned to resolve. “Good. Then we don’t need to speak of this anymore.” She moved her hands to his chest. His heart was hammering as hard and fast as hers, surprising her. She gave him a little push. He could have resisted, and there would have been nothing she could have done about it. But he moved away, allowing her to pivot and open the door, to walk away and not look back for the second time since he’d come back to town.

CHAPTER SEVEN

D
ANE
RANG
THE
doorbell and waited almost...nervously. But at least he wasn’t acting like an idiot anymore.

He’d thought to distance himself from Kenna by taking a date to her workplace, to firmly establish the fact that Kenna belonged in a sister box...to move on—he’d managed neither.

Bottom line, he’d panicked about the tenderness of his feelings for her. He knew that now, some part of him recognizing that she wasn’t like other women, not to him, and if he wasn’t careful, he would find himself entangled in a commitment and miserable.

But he was miserable now, so, what was the difference?

They’d had their confrontation a week ago. Since then he’d done nothing but punish himself at the gym. Kickboxing, the punching bag and hour after hour on the treadmill. Nothing had helped. He’d constantly reminisced about her proud departure from the office, hating himself, maybe even hating her, and he didn’t want to experience anything like that ever again. He’d even found himself wondering what the hell was so bad about a commitment if it meant kissing Kenna, touching her, driving inside her sweet little body...then waking up to her and kissing, touching and driving inside her all over again.

He had to make things right between them. He didn’t care that he was acting like his dad. He didn’t care that she had a kid. He didn’t care that she didn’t know the father’s name. He only cared about
her.

He just had to be with her.

The door swung open, and he had to look down...down...down...to a mini-Kenna. She was short with a fall of bright red hair and stunning green eyes. A round cherub’s face. The ache in his chest returned. Damn. How was he supposed to talk to her? He did not speak princess.

Heart-shaped lips pursed. “You’re a stranger, and Momma says I’m not supposed to talk to strangers. They might want to touch my private places and that would be bad.”

Kill me.
“I’m your...Uncle Dane. And you must be Norrie.” His only experience with someone her age was Daniel, and that occurred almost two decades ago.

She flashed him a bright smile. “My name is North, and I know, I know, I have the same name as that rapper guy’s kid, but my momma says I’m her bright star and I always help her find her way home, but when I was a baby I had trouble with some of my letters, because babies are dumb, and I called myself Norrie, so now everyone else does, too.”

The words poured out of her, and Dane could only stand there, oddly...charmed.

Not charmed. No way.
Not getting embroiled with her.
He would be with Kenna, if she would have him, but he would keep distance between himself and the kid. “I’d like to speak with your mother.”

“Norrie Isabelle Starr.” A twentysomething woman with dark blond hair came up behind the girl. “Your mom will murder me in my sleep if she finds out I let you answer the door on your own. Thanks for that.” Navy blue eyes focused on him. “Hey, I know who you are.”

“I’m afraid I can’t say the same.” Though he remembered seeing her at the engagement party.

“I’m Jessie Kay, one of Kenna’s roommates.”

“Uncle Dane is
not
a stranger,” Norrie said to Jessie Kay. “Do you think he could have luncher with us?”

Luncher?

Jessie Kay gave him a once-over, saying, “Luncher is a combo of lunch and dinner. Too late for lunch, but too early for dinner. Trademark pending. Now, what are you doing here?”

“Uncle Dane is going to cook for us,” Norrie announced.

Um, never. “Is Kenna here?” he asked, focusing on Jessie Kay.

“She had to go to her school and talk to her teacher,” Norrie piped up, “because it’s important to keep open lines of communization even when xasperating men won’t respond to your thousands of emails.”

“Communication,” Jessie Kay corrected. “Exasperating.”

Norrie threw her arms up. “That’s what I said. Anyway.” She rolled her eyes, and Dane had to fight a grin.
Really not getting embroiled with her.
“Momma will be back at three, she promised, and we’re gonna go pet Sara Lambert’s puppies. Sara didn’t have the puppies, because no one gave her any of that special seed, and she’s too young, but her dog, Muffin, did have the puppies. But I can’t have one ’cause—”

“Dude,” Jessie Kay said, shaking her head, “you’ve gotta learn when to stop.”

Good advice. “I’ll come back later,” Dane said, backing away.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Jessie Kay grabbed his wrist, stopping him. “Yes,” she said to the little girl. “Uncle Dane is going to cook our luncher.”

The little girl jumped up and down, clapping.

“No. No, I’m not,” he said.

Norrie stilled, tears filling her eyes. “You’re really not?”

Oh...damn. “I...am?”

“Great. You two have fun. I’ll be watching TV in the living room if anyone needs me.” Jessie Kay smirked at him before walking away and plopping on the couch.

What was her game?

What did it matter? He tried not to panic. What if the kid cried? What was he supposed to do? At what age did kids stop wearing diapers?

This was going to be a disaster.

“Come on,” the girl said, taking his hand. Hers was small, delicate.

She led him into the kitchen, moving so fast he was only able to glance at his surroundings. But a glance was enough. The home was small and run-down, with old paint peeling on the walls and holes in the carpet. Scuffed furniture.

Kenna and her roommates had clearly done their best to make the place as attractive as possible, because there were feminine touches everywhere. A drape of sheer cloth over a lamp. A vase overflowing with fresh flowers. A bowl of fruit. A pink blanket cascading over the arm of the couch.

Norrie sat at a yellow laminate counter and folded her hands together, waiting patiently. He relaxed when he realized the home’s open concept gave Jessie Kay a clear view of the kid.

“What are you hungry for?” he asked.

She hooked a hank of red hair behind her ear. “Can you make a cheese pizza?”

He looked in the fridge, but didn’t see more than a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter and maybe ten thousand packages of cheese. No tomato sauce. No ready-made crusts. The freezer had boxes of pizza ready to be thawed, but they didn’t look appetizing.

“How about I order one?” he suggested.

“Even better. The number is on the wall.”

He placed the order, and though The Tomato Shack didn’t deliver, he offered the teenager on the other end two hundred dollars, all the cash currently in his wallet, to make it happen. As he waited, he walked around the kitchen looking through semibare cabinets, tightening knobs, lighting the pilot light on the stove, fixing a squeaky hinge on the oven door and messing with the leaky pipes under the sink. There was a somewhat awkward silence between Norrie and him, but better that than conversation.

Of course, she just had to speak up. “My momma says we don’t need a man to do our chores for us, ’cause we are smart and capable and I believe her even though Sara’s mom says men were born to be our slaves, we just have to know how to manage them.”

“Sara’s mom is an idiot.”

Norrie gasped. “You said the
I
-word.”

“Is that bad?”

“Real bad. Get-grounded-for-a-month bad.”

Great. “Maybe don’t mention to your mom that I said it.”

“I won’t. Because she heard you for herself. Momma! You’re home!”

* * *

K
ENNA
CAUGHT
HER
daughter in her arms as Dane cursed and lifted his head out from under the sink. His hair was sexily rumpled and there was a streak of oil on his cheek.

All of her girlie parts sizzled to instant life. He was here! And he was performing live and in-person girl porn—household tasks! “I didn’t expect to see you,” she said to Dane.

“I’m going to my room,” Jessie Kay called. “Y’all do me a favor and argue loud enough so I can listen in without having to strain myself.”

“If you want to listen,” Kenna called right back, “just stay in the living room.”

“You know I’m not that rude.”

“What are we going to argue about?” Norrie asked. “Uncle Dane saying the
I
-word?”

He pulled at his collar and ignored the little girl. “I wanted to talk to you,” he said to Kenna, looking more uncomfortable than she’d ever seen him.

Kenna realized she wasn’t upset that he’d introduced himself to Norrie. The introduction would have happened sooner or later, considering the upcoming wedding. But...she thought it was more than that. That she wanted to see him with her daughter...see how the two got along.

Answer: not well. He wouldn’t even meet the girl’s gaze.

The doorbell rang, saving her from having to think up a reply. Talk...about what? They’d said all they needed to say.

“Pizza!” Norrie wiggled out of her arms.

Pizza?

Dane held up one finger and rushed to the door. He returned with—surprise, surprise—a pizza.

“The Tomato Shack delivers now?” Kenna asked.

“With the right incentive,” he muttered.

Meaning money.

While they ate, Norrie regaled Dane with stories about hair barrettes, dog poop and all the reasons sparkly unicorns just had to be real. Kenna had heard the stories before and faded in and out, trying to pretend Dane wasn’t in the room, looking edible.

“Can we go now?” Norrie asked her.

She didn’t have to ask where the girl was so eager to go. Sara’s house, to see the puppies. Kenna had been dreading this. Norrie would want one and beg, and Kenna would have to say no—always no—because they couldn’t afford to feed an animal. Not to mention the fact that they were rarely home.

“Go get cleaned up first.”

Norrie rushed off.

“I don’t just mean stick your hands under the water,” Kenna called. “Use soap and then brush your teeth.”

“Duh! I’m not a germ farm!”

“She’s...unique,” Dane said.

“In the best possible way,” Kenna snapped.

He held up his arms. “I know. I wasn’t saying otherwise.”

An awkward silence settled between them.

“So...were you able to open lines of communization with your professor?” he asked.

She closed her eyes for a moment, wondering what Norrie had told him. But she already knew the answer, didn’t she? Norrie had told him everything she knew.

“Yes and no. I found out I had been dropped from my classes, so all the work I’d done was a waste.” Was that bitterness in her tone? Probably. It wasn’t her fault the financial aid had failed to come in on time.

“Why were you dropped?”

Unwilling to answer, she waved the question away. “What did you want to talk to me about?” Then, “Before you answer that, I should probably warn you. I’m stressed and tired and not at my best. It might be better to postpone the communization if you don’t feel like fighting.”

“Take her up on the offer,” Jessie Kay called through the wall. “She’s nasty when she’s stressed.”

Kenna banged on the wall, shouting, “No one asked your opinion, so zip it!”

Jessie Kay’s reply was a triumphant, “See!”

“We won’t fight,” Dane said, voice soft but confident. “I came here to apologize.”

Kenna groaned. “Not this again.”

“Yes, this again. I made another mistake, and I’m hoping you’ll forgive me as easily as before.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I was—am—attracted to you, too, Kenna. It hit me the wrong way, and I reacted poorly. I tried to make it stop, and I’m sorry.”

The burst of honesty nearly undid her. She gulped.

He reached out, drew his arm back, then reached out again, this time taking her hand. “Go out with me.”

Like...on a date?

Her first instinct was to shout “yes, yes, a thousand times yes!” And she almost did it. The thought of going to dinner with him, of being the woman sitting across from him rather than the one serving him...having him gaze at her with longing, walking her to her door, kissing her...thrilled her to the bone. But what would happen next?

Would they have sex?

And then what? Would they keep dating? Or would he work her into his rotation of women?

Would she come to resent him for his lack of commitment?

“I might hate myself later,” she said, opting for honesty, as well, “but I’m going to decline. We agreed to be friends, and I’d like to continue that way.”

Determined now, he scooted his chair around the table, moving closer to her without ever releasing her hand. “I don’t want to be your friend, Kenna. I want to be more.”

A lump grew in her throat. Unable to speak, she shook her head.

“Why?” he insisted. “Because I’m an ass?”

“You are. Sometimes. But that’s not why.”
Do it. Tell him.
She swallowed and said, “You’re a bad bet, Dane. For me, I mean. Only for me.”

He flinched, and she wanted to donkey punch herself in the throat. Making him feel bad about himself wasn’t her goal.

“You don’t understand,” she said.

A muscle ticked below his eye. “Then help me.”

Where to start? “I was scrawny as a teen and no one ever asked me out. My only friend was Brook Lynn and with her inability to leave her house without earmuffs, she was just as uncool. We never went to parties, until the Anderson boys threw a kegger. Jessie Kay got an invite, and we snuck out to go with her. We were so thrilled to be there with actual college boys we got caught up in the excitement. Brook Lynn passed out in a closet at some point. I drank too much and ended up in bed with...” She lowered her voice, shame dripping from her next words. “Three of those college guys. Three, Dane. It was humiliating, and disappointing. A mistake I couldn’t take back.”

He stiffened. “You were underage. They were not. They took advantage of you.”

“I was willing.”

“You weren’t in the right state of mind to decide, honey. And if I didn’t know it would put you through hell, I would find out the names of the boys and—” He cut himself off. Rage had caused his pupils to flare like pure obsidian glitter. “Tell me the rest.”

She gulped, saying, “Kids were still there when I woke up, and they saw me. The look in their eyes...” A shudder rocked her. “I never want to see it again. Then, of course, I found out I was pregnant and more than just kids looked at me that way. Because, yes, while we live in a society used to young, unwed mothers, there’s still judgment. You know there is. But now, my past is finally white noise in the background, at least for the most part, and I just don’t want to drudge everything back up by becoming one of your many women.”