The One You Love (16 page)

Edward went to speak, but, seemingly flabbergasted by the news, no words came out.

‘So what happened?’ he said at last.

‘Stephen’s dead,’ she stated. ‘They found him in a canal. It happened a few years ago.’

‘Oh, right.’

‘It was terrible, Dad,’ she said. ‘I met his mum, and she’s got real problems because of what happened. The house she was living in, it was in such a state.’

‘It must be difficult to deal with a death like that.’ Her dad looked up at the sky. ‘I can’t imagine how I’d react if you or Will did that. As a parent, you’re bound to wonder whether you could have done anything to stop it happening.’

‘Pardon?’

He looked confused. ‘I said, I can’t imagine how I’d react if one of you did that – killed themselves.’

‘How do you know he killed himself?’

‘What… well… you just said… they found him in a canal,’ he said, sounding flustered.

‘I said he was dead, I didn’t say he killed himself.’

Her dad blew out his cheeks and gripped onto the bridge, as if for support. The colour seemed to drain from his cheeks. ‘I’m sorry, Emma.’

Emma shook her head. ‘You knew. You knew Stephen was dead and you didn’t tell me? All this time, you knew what had happened and you didn’t say anything to me?’

Her father nodded.

‘Do you know how many times in the past few years I thought I saw Stephen Myers following me? I used to lie awake at night, wondering whether he was outside the flat, pointing that damn camera up towards the window. If I’d known…’

‘I’m really sorry, Emma, but we thought it would be for the best. We didn’t want to bring up old memories – we were worried about how you might react.’

‘We? Who else knew about this?’

‘Just three of us – myself, Will and Stuart.’

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘This just gets better. Three of the people I trusted the most kept that from me.’

‘Like I said, Emma, we just didn’t see the point in telling you about it. You were getting on with your life in London, getting over him. He’d haunted you enough while he was alive. I didn’t want him to haunt you when he was dead, too.’

‘How did you find out? How did you know what happened?’

‘Well… Will and Stuart came to me, and told me that they’d seen Stephen hanging around outside your apartment in London, shortly after you moved down here. I know you thought that he didn’t follow you down here, but he did. They’d warned him off, and he swore that he wouldn’t come back again, but we wanted to make sure. So we kept an eye on him.’

‘You kept an eye on him? How?’

‘We paid for someone to keep a watch on him.’

‘A private detective?’

‘Yes. I know it sounds crazy, but it was the only way we could be sure that he’d really stay away. A few weeks after we employed the guy, I got a call from him, saying that Stephen had been found dead.’

‘You said you’d never keep me in the dark again,’ Emma said, ‘Not after what happened with Mum.’

‘Oh, Emma, that’s completely different,’ he protested. ‘We just wanted to protect you.’

‘You wanted to protect me from Mum’s illness.’

‘That’s not fair,’ he said, suddenly filling up. ‘It was your mother who promised me not to tell you both. She didn’t want you to worry.’

‘But I wanted to worry,’ Emma shouted. ‘She was dying, Dad. I should have been worrying. Not going off on holidays enjoying myself.’

‘I’m sorry, that’s all I can say. But please believe me, I didn’t do any of this to hurt you, or your brother.’

‘What other secrets are you protecting me from?’

‘What?’ Her dad seemed taken aback by the question.

‘You said on the phone you had something to tell me. Something you should have told me before.’

‘I… I can’t,’ he said, turning away. ‘It’s not the right time now.’

‘Tell me, Dad,’ Emma said, pulling at his arm. ‘If you mean what you say, then tell me whatever it is you were going to tell me.’

‘It shouldn’t be happening like this,’ he said, turning back to her. The strain was etched across his face like carvings in rock.

‘Tell me.’

‘It’s about Miranda and me,’ he said. ‘We’re expecting a baby.’

26

‘He’s called you, hasn’t he?’ Emma said, as Will opened the door to his flat.

‘You’d better come in,’ he said, turning and leading her into the lounge. ‘I’ve been waiting for you to arrive. Take a seat.’

‘I was going to come straight round,’ said Emma, sitting down, ‘but then I decided to go and see Richard.’

‘You’re really angry with me, aren’t you?’ His face was streaked with genuine anguish. ‘Em, I’m so sorry, really.’

‘I’m not angry,’ Emma said. ‘I was, but seeing Richard lying there – well, it helped me to put things into perspective. I just sat there, watching him, and suddenly, for now at least, my worries don’t seem that important.’

‘How is he?’

‘No change.’

‘Right…’ Will looked off towards the wall. ‘I’m glad you’re not angry, Em, although I wouldn’t blame you if you were. I’ve really let you down.’

‘I’m not angry anymore, Will, but I am disappointed. Of all the people, I would have thought that you would be the last person to keep something like that from me. After all we’ve gone through with Mum and Dad. We promised.’

‘I know. I hate keeping secrets from you, Em. You’ve got to believe me.’

‘Well, it’s over now,’ she said. ‘Stephen’s dead, and Dan has called the wedding off.’

‘Dad told me about the wedding. I’m sorry, Em. I thought it was going to be different this time, with Dan. I really didn’t expect this.’

‘Me neither.’

‘Have you tried to call him again?’

‘No. I don’t see the point really. It’s obvious that he doesn’t want to talk to me, otherwise he would have called.’

‘Probably,’ he agreed. ‘So what are you going to do now?’

‘Sort things out, I guess. I need to contact the church, the caterers, and the people bringing the flowers. I’ll probably get Lizzy to do all that.’

‘She’s a good friend,’ Will said.

‘So are you. I don’t know what I’d do without either of you in the next few months. You’ll probably be sick of me by the end of it.’

Will looked down and bit his lower lip.

‘What’s the matter?’ asked Emma, recognising her brother’s body language as a sign that something was wrong.

‘I’m sorry, Em.’ His eyes filled up with tears. ‘I’m going away.’

‘Away?’

He nodded. ‘I have to. I’m afraid if I stay around here, I might do something really stupid.’

‘I don’t understand.’

‘I’ve not been straight with you, Em. I haven’t even been straight with myself until recently. I’ve got problems, big problems.’

‘Problems?’

‘I’ve been feeling really depressed,’ he revealed. ‘And I started drinking. The doctor gave me some tablets for the depression, but it’s not stopped the drinking.’

‘What? For how long?’

‘A few months now. Em – I’m sorry, but I’ve decided that I need to get away. I’ve been in touch with Stefan and he said I can go over to be with him for a while.’

‘To Canada?’

Will nodded.

‘I can’t believe I didn’t notice that things were that bad, Will,’ Emma said.

‘I hid it well,’ he replied. ‘Don’t blame yourself.’

***

Will watched from the window as Emma crossed the road below, and sipped at the glass of whiskey, letting the waves of self-loathing wash over him. He had taken a coward’s way out, and he knew it. But this was about self-preservation. At least if he could get away and get his head together, then there was a chance that when he returned everything could get back to normal.

Maybe then he could start making up for all those lies.

Still, he felt enormous guilt and shame. He was leaving Emma when she needed him the most. But at least now he was convinced that his earlier suspicions had been wrong, and that Emma’s life was not in danger from that man, or the dark secret that he himself had held for all these years.

27

Emma called them all herself: the church, the florist, the car hire firm, the photographer – the list went on. She felt oddly distanced from the whole thing, as if she was just a secretary cancelling her boss’s meetings.

And it was that easy. Two years of planning was undone in less than thirty minutes.

She finished the last call, and then placed the contact list into the wedding box and closed the lid. It felt symbolic: that the part of her life she had shared with Dan had ended. She felt like throwing the box out of the window, and imagined all those magazine cuttings and lists floating down onto the traffic below like confetti.

How had she got it so wrong, again? With Stuart, and now Dan. Both men with whom she had thought she would spend the rest of her life. But both had bailed out on the final approach, without warning.

What was she doing wrong?

And now her relationship with the other two men in her life had also received a jolt. Will was running off to another continent, depressed and on the verge of alcoholism. And her dad was fathering a child with a woman barely older than his daughter.

Lizzy was right: men did act weird.

Instead of throwing the wedding box out of the window she took it into the bedroom and slid it under the bed. After leaving Will’s flat she had decided that she would face her fears head-on and return to her apartment. She had to go back there alone eventually, so it might as well be today. Then she just lay down on the covers, staring at the ceiling. She forced herself to get up from the bed and looked around, remembering the missing photographs of her and Dan. If he had wanted to end it, why the hell had he taken those photos? It didn’t really make sense.

She changed into her training outfit of comfortable jogging bottoms and a vest top, before retrieving the kick-bag and boxing gloves from the storage cupboard. It had been some time since she had used it, but she soon got back into the swing of things, punching and kicking the bag so hard that occasionally it flew back into the wardrobe behind. Then she went for a run, easing her way down Marylebone High Street before picking up the pace towards Euston Road. Dodging and weaving through the smiling tourists and serious-faced business people, she crossed the main road and entered Regent’s Park. After a week’s absence of serious training, the run was taking its toll on her body, but it felt good. She ran all the way to Primrose Hill, stopping at the top to admire the view across the London skyline.

She wondered where Dan was among that urban mass, and what he was doing. Had he already found someone else? Was he sitting in a coffee house somewhere, sharing a drink with a beautiful woman?

It really didn’t sound like Dan at all.

She looked around the hill and suddenly wondered why she had chosen this place to come to. It was full of happy, smiling couples – some playing with their children, others just enjoying each other’s company.

And there was a man with a camera.

Pointing it right at her.

‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ Emma shouted, jogging over to the man. He had brought the camera down now.

‘It’s okay, I’m not paparazzi,’ he said, holding his hands up. ‘I was just taking one photo, that’s all. You are Emma Holden, aren’t you?’

‘I might be,’ Emma said, ‘but what the hell are you doing taking a photo of me in the first place?’

‘I’m sorry. People don’t usually mind, really. I come here most days, to spot some movie stars and take their picture. I don’t sell them or anything; I just do it as a hobby. Got a snap of Madonna the other day… although she’s not that special anymore now she’s a local. Tom Cruise was round here last week! He was in London for the premiere of his new film. Even gave me an autograph.’

As Emma watched him explain she realised that he was quite young, maybe not yet twenty.

‘I’m surprised you recognised me,’ she said.

‘You’re joking! I used to watch
Up My Street
every day. Once I was off school with glandular fever for about three months and it’s all I used to watch. When I got better and went back to school I got my mum to tape it for me so I could watch it when I got home. Never missed an episode for about two years. I’m not saying it was the greatest programme. Sorry… what I meant is that it was a bit budget, wasn’t it? Not like an Eastenders or Coronation Street. The walls used to wobble. I guessed they must have been saving money on the set so that they could pay you guys loads of money.’

‘I wish,’ Emma said, softening. She felt bad about overreacting – he seemed harmless enough. ‘You’d be surprised how little money you get doing a show like that. Apart from the guy who played Miles; he was on a fair bit.’