The Officer and the Secret (15 page)

Finally, he stepped to her again, cupping her face in his large, warm hands. “I forget how small you are sometimes. How delicate you are. I’m clumsy, and big. And I don’t think I’ve been delicate a day in my life.” He stared at his thumb while it rubbed over one of her cheeks. “I feel like sometimes you might startle easily. I hope that’s not out of fear from me. My size, or my… issues.”

“Oh.” Oh, this sweet man. So big, tough, and so soft inside. She wanted to cry a little at the gentleness. Mirroring his position, placing her hands on his face, she shook her head. “No. Not afraid. Men can make me nervous. But not you.” It was the total truth.

Something changed in his eyes. They almost darkened in color, if that were actually possible. And it was the last thing she saw when he bent down and kissed her.

Nothing gentle this time. No, more of a claiming. A declaration to the world—even though there were only two there—that this was what he wanted, and nobody could stop him. She desperately fought to make mental notes. To remember every taste, every move. And when his tongue probed inside, she didn’t even gasp. No. She wanted it. Here was exactly what she had been looking for. The passion previously denied her. This was what she craved, deeply, darkly. And the satisfaction of grabbing it for herself, of sharing it with Dwayne, was almost too much.

His hands slid down her arms, over the back of his sweatshirt until he gripped her bottom. She inched forward at the touch, and he took the invitation for what it was. Gripping just under each cheek, he hefted her up. As if the entire thing was natural, as if they did this every day, she knew what he wanted her to do. She wound her legs around his hips, as if clinging to a tree.

She squealed a little when he started to walk. Where, she had no clue. But she wasn’t going to break their kiss to look and see. When her back nudged against a wall, she let out a puff of breath. And he took the chance to work his way down to the pulse of her neck, beating so hard she thought it might just jump out through her skin and run laps around the room.

“Oh. Okay, yes.” The words were a whisper; she didn’t even mean to say them. But Dwayne heard, and it only seemed to encourage him. He squeezed her bottom, then one hand was on her stomach, under the sweatshirt and tank top. The skin-to-skin contact startled her, but she wasn’t about to stop him.

“We still okay?” he asked, lips now just below her earlobe.

“Mmm.” How could he form full sentences? His hands brushed, massaged her stomach, and her whole body clenched to wonder where he was headed. Up… or down?

She knew he was wondering the same thing, and the tension in his shoulders told her he’d made his choice when—

Knock
knock.

His body jerked, as if he’d been shot. Then he let his forehead thump against the wall next to hers. His breath was hot on her neck, still damp from his kisses.

“I’m sorry.” He groaned the words out, as if he couldn’t believe himself. “I’m so sorry.”

How did you say
I
don’t accept your apology, now get over it and do it again
?

The knock came again, pounding so hard the door rattled in the frame. “Pizza delivery!”

This time, he let go of her legs slowly so she slid down his body in a kind of evil torment. Her skin felt alive, like it was ready to be brushed all over. But he didn’t give her a second glance as he walked to the front door.

Dwayne waited until Veronica’s shift was almost over before walking into Fletchers. She didn’t know he was coming, had warned him she wouldn’t be available today for a date because she’d be too exhausted to think straight after working a double. But when he’d mentioned offhand that she worked too hard and could use the break, she’d simply said she needed the money.

He could relate, as much as he hated to think that she might be scrimping. Paying for college was hard, he’d been there, though he’d lucked into a football scholarship to pay the way, and ROTC to help with the rest. She didn’t have those options. And much as he’d like to help, he knew she wouldn’t accept any assistance. But really, letting him buy one textbook or something wouldn’t hurt, would it?

Come to think of it, he didn’t actually know where she was going to school. He’d assumed the local community college, but maybe she was taking courses online through a distance program. What the hell was she even studying?

Well, that’s what dating was for. He’d ask her. Tonight. His plan of having a late dinner in her apartment’s oven—thanks to Madison—would be just the thing to help her relax. And with Madison and Jeremy eating with them, no temptation to push her well past the boundaries he’d set for himself.

Pushing too far too fast wasn’t going to do either of them any good. This was something serious—for him anyway, and he hoped for her too.

“Hey,” the hostess, a short redhead with a nice smile beamed at him. “I remember you. Skye’s friend Dwayne. Right?”

“You got it. But I’m here waiting on Veronica now.”

The woman checked her book. “She actually got hit with a last-minute table, poor thing. So she’ll be hanging back a little longer than usual. But I’ll let her know you’re here.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he tried, too little too late. The hostess scrambled back toward the kitchen to tell her he was there. Not that he didn’t mind the anticipation. But he also knew she had a job to finish, so he hoped she didn’t feel pressured to hustle. He’d just tell her he would come back in a few.

“Hi there.” Another server, tall with obviously bleached hair, walked over. “I hear you’re looking for a waitress.”

If there was a picture for the term
blatantly
sexual
, this female would have it all. From the bedroom eyes to the practiced pout to the way she stood just a little too close, it made him want to run the opposite direction.

A little funny, actually, since before his deployment, the type of woman out for a simple night of fun would have been much more appealing. He took a nice big step back and stuck his hands in his pockets. “Waiting for one server in particular. Veronica.”

Her eyes widened in surprise and the bedroom kitten routine was quickly replaced with an attitude of
You’re shitting me, right?
“The little mouse? I mean, don’t get me wrong, she’s a sweetheart. But I’m just a little shocked.”

The kitten calling his woman a mouse. Now there was something he didn’t care to hear. “Right. Well, if you see her, let her know I’m—”

“Hi.” Veronica popped up from behind the other woman, completely oblivious to the predatory glances fired her direction. She stopped short, not reaching for him. But he wasn’t disappointed. Not in her nature to do the whole PDA thing, especially at work. He kinda liked that about her. That her affections were special enough to keep them quiet. “I heard you were up here. I’m sorry, did I get dates mixed up?” She glanced up at him, then back to the dining area, as if only half her attention were being given.

“No, I thought you’d be done by now, but it’s fine. I just thought I’d surprise you if I could with some dinner. Madison’s getting things started, and I thought we could hang out at your place afterward, just relax.” Now that he said it, it was starting to sound more stupid by the minute. She looked completely worn out and run-down, as if she’d been running around for hours. Probably had. She’d be too tired to even sit and watch TV with him. This was dumb.

“Oh,” she breathed. He felt her full attention on him now, like a blast of warmth, and when she smiled the warmth curled through his body and landed in his gut. “That’s really sweet. I’d like that. But I just got set with a table and—”

“And you’ll be later than normal. Yeah, she told me. That’s fine. Do your thing, no rush. There’s a bike shop two blocks down. I’m gonna walk down there and look for a birthday gift for Jeremy.”

“Okay.” Then more strongly, “Okay, great.” She grinned. “I think I have enough energy to push through now.” She placed one hand on his arm and squeezed. “Thanks.”

Even after she left, he still felt the tingle on his skin from that one moment of contact. It was more than she’d normally given him in front of others, and he didn’t want to read into it, but he couldn’t help but feel a little encouraged. Turning on his heel, ignoring the bleach-blond server still standing in the area like a mannequin, he headed back out and walked to the bike store, intent on finding something for Jeremy… even though his birthday was four months away.

***

“Spill the magic beans, blondie.”

Veronica didn’t say a word, just continued to punch in her last table’s order, double-checking it before hitting the button to send it back to the kitchen. When she was finally done, she looked up at Steph. “Hmm?”

Steph rolled her eyes. “Nice act. I’m talking about the guy. The one with the muscles up there at the hostess stand? Tall, brawny, sexy as sin? He was here for you. So how the hell did that happen?”

“Oh. Dwayne.” She stepped carefully around the other woman and made her way to the silverware tray, trying to look busy so maybe she’d be left alone. No luck. Steph just followed her like a child’s pull toy, as if she had nothing better to do. Which was a total lie; there was always something to do in the back of the restaurant. “He’s friends with Skye.”

“But he was here to see you. Told me so himself.”

He had? That made her smile as a reflex, which Steph caught and almost sneered back. “So I know you’re not burning the sheets up with him. What’s the catch?”

“Burning the sheets.” She said it slowly, not liking the way it sounded.

“The horizontal tango. Bumping uglies.” When Veronica said nothing, Steph’s lip curled with disgust. “Jesus, you don’t know shit, do you?”

She placed another silverware roll in the tray with precision and lined it up perfectly with the others, avoiding making eye contact. Why encourage her? “You’re referring to making love. I actually realized what you meant from the start. I just didn’t feel like responding to the crude way you described it.”

“Making love. Right. Whatever.” All at once, Steph seemed to lose the hostile attitude and slumped back against the wall. “A man like that is the definition of the word virile. A woman’s ovaries itch just looking at him.”

None of that sounded very pleasant, but Veronica didn’t want to encourage her so she kept her mouth shut.

Sliding her a sidelong glance, Steph smiled. But as usual, the gesture looked more like a threat than a sign of friendship. “A woman would have to double down on her protection to avoid getting knocked up by a strappin’ country boy like that.”

Veronica filed the information away in the back of her mind, but wasn’t entirely sure what she was supposed to say to that. What she
was
sure of was that it didn’t need to be a conversation they had at work. “I think we all have chores to finish for closing.”

Not at all dissuaded, Steph gave her a slow look up and down. “You’re cute. I mean, cuter now since you whacked off all that freaking hair.”

“Thank you.”
I
think?

“But really, I don’t get what in God’s name he’d have to do with a girl like you.”

Veronica counted to ten while she rolled the last set of silverware and placed the bundle in the bin. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to finish up my work so I’m ready to go.” Steph didn’t say a word, though Veronica half-expected Steph to trip her as she walked past.

Then it occurred to her—she didn’t have to walk away like a sweet little lady. She had claws too, though they might not be as sharp. Might as well start sharpening them. She turned to see Steph still leaning against the table. No shock there, since she had the work ethic of a snail.

“Maybe Dwayne sees something in me that he doesn’t in you. Like manners and good company. Maybe he wants to be happy instead of dealing with drama.” With that, she turned on her rubber-soled heel and headed out to clear plates from her last table. In the world of set-downs, it wasn’t exactly an Olympic effort. But it felt good. Darn good.

It occurred to her ten minutes later, as she was dumping the last of the ice, that Steph was likely jealous. Of her. Because of Dwayne. Part of her wanted to feel sorry for Stephanie. She didn’t have many female friends, it seemed. Though if this was the way she treated others, it was no wonder. But the other half of her—the half her mother would be horrified to know she had, and therefore she reveled in it that much more—wanted to do a little dance with glee. Dwayne was hers… at least for the moment. He seemed interested in her, surprising as that may be to many others, and she was not about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

***

After a delicious dinner, Veronica and Dwayne claimed KP duty, since Madison and Jeremy had set up the late meal for them. The couple slipped back into Madison’s bedroom and shut the door behind them. Veronica did her best not to stiffen at the reminder. This was part of having roommates, and she needed to grow up and get over it.

After the last dish was in the dishwasher and the counter wiped off, Dwayne walked to the door, hands in his pockets.

“I better head out.”

“Oh, but…” Veronica wrung the towel in her hands, then realized the cliché picture she presented and tossed it back on the counter to follow him. “We could watch a movie here. Madison has a nice selection. I won’t even complain if you pick something with bombs and blood.”

He smiled a little at that, then shook his head. “I need to get back. Thanks though.” He opened the door and she stepped onto their small doorstep leading to the building’s staircase. “No, don’t walk me down. I’m good.”

“Of course I’ll walk you down. You’re—” She couldn’t finish the thought, as Dwayne’s mouth slanted over hers and pressed the sweetest of kisses to her lips. Before he could pull back, she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck and tugged, bringing him more fully against her. He groaned, nudged her against the wall next to the front door, and kissed her back. Hard. Deliciously hard. They didn’t stop until both were gasping for breath and Veronica felt a little dizzy from lack of oxygen.

“Stay.”

Dwayne dropped his forehead to hers and squeezed one of her hands. “I can’t. I would if I could but… I just can’t. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

She nodded and waited until his truck drove away before slipping back into the apartment. She turned out the kitchen and living room lights, then headed down the hallway to the bedrooms. But before she turned into her own, she paused, grabbed Madison’s laptop, and scurried in and shut the door.

Hey, she wasn’t going to use it tonight. She was busy with her boyfriend in the other bedroom.

Lucky.

But Veronica had other things she needed to worry about besides mild jealousy issues. Hesitating only a moment, she opened up Google and got to work.

Twenty minutes later, she sat back, wide-eyed and regretting every moment of that Google-fest.

Okay. So, she knew where babies came from. But her sex education had been… nonexistent living with her parents. She barely saw doctors as it was for illnesses or injuries, and none of the missionaries her parents worked with were going to give her the straight truth about anything involving sex, safe or otherwise. It would have been seen as a sort of dirty sin.

As if the real sin wasn’t keeping their daughter as ill-prepared for the real world as physically possible for their own selfish reasons.

It was upsetting, honestly, to know that she was so far behind anyone else in her exact same age group. That people born the decade behind her likely knew more about sex and just things in general than she did, were prepared for more. But logically she had to remember… she hadn’t been given a choice. The Internet was still new to her, along with so many things she was just discovering. And up to now, she hadn’t exactly had a reason to research the subject.

But now that she’d followed the Internet spiderweb from one place to another dealing with all things reproductive—several of which she wished she could now scrub from her brain—she knew it was time to face facts. And it would be embarrassing. But she had to.

She closed the computer and headed back into the hall to plug it in at the desk. Then she knocked softly on Madison’s door. She heard the bed creak—and only winced a little—then Madison’s face appeared in the crack of the door.

“What’s up?”

“I’m sorry.” Right. Now was not the best time for this. “I’ll catch you later.”

Madison paused a moment, then looked over her shoulder. “I’ll be back.”

“Huh?” Jeremy’s voice called out from the dark.

“Girl talk. Make yourself useful and fold something in the laundry basket in the corner.” She slipped out of the door and shut it, muting Jeremy’s grumbling protests. “Into your room.”

Veronica let herself be pushed at the bed until she sat down. Madison, wearing boxers that she could only assume were Jeremy’s, and a large T-shirt, sat beside her, cross-legged. “What’s up? Is Dwayne gone?”

“Yeah, he is.” Thinking back to Madison’s not-so-subtle exit, she smiled. “I’m glad you and Jeremy aren’t avoiding the apartment for my sake anymore. But you didn’t have to slip away so fast after dinner.”

Madison gave her a wink. “Oh yes we did. We had some fun of our own planned. Plus, I wanted to give you two some time. You don’t need a chaperone.”

Veronica cleared her throat. “About that kind of fun…” When Madison cocked her head to one side, she almost lost her nerve. So instead she blurted it out as fast as she could. “HowdoIgetmyselfsomebirthcontrol?”

Madison’s eyes bugged. “Come again?”