The Numbers Game (49 page)

            “I know, I
know. Rick even suggested a free flight back home once a month but she wouldn’t
take it. It seems nothing comes between Shoshanna and her hair.”

            “Well,”
Serena snorted, taking a bunch of her tresses into hand. “If you must know,
this has nothing to do with my gorgeous split-ended hair. It has to do more
with timing. Had the offer come up three months ago then I would’ve jumped at
the chance. But now…”

            She shook
her worried little head. “I’d feel stupid saying yes.  I feel like you’re
asking me to come out of a sense of duty rather than a sincere desire.”

            “Oh so
you’re a fully qualified mind reader now?” Markie grinned. “As far as I’m aware
you’ve failed every task this evening. Plus I hate to tell you but you’re wrong
once again.”

            “Listen,”
Markie took Serena’s hand for the second time but this time he didn’t let it
go.

            “I asked
you to come because I want you there, and of course loving you counts a bit as
well. So the question you need to ask yourself isn’t what you think I want –
because I just told you what I want. It’s what you want for yourself.”

             “Is that
supposed to make it easier for me to decide?” Serena squinted.

            “No,”
Markie shook his head. “It means the decision is already made. Just look inside
your heart and you will find your answer there.”

After that they moved
onto other things, like how the last three months had passed for them,
work-wise, friend and family-wise, that sort of casual chatter.

            Markie learnt
that work on the “Never, Ever Again” set had taken a turn for the worse. Now
that the movie was close to wrapping, the crew was putting in an average of
plus seventy hours a week, with no increase in pay.

            “Just the
usual perks,” Serena shrugged. “They try to buy our undying devotion with an
endless supply of chocolate éclairs, Top 40 CDs and double movie passes.  Plus
the wrap party is scheduled for next Saturday night and they’ve promised it
will be the event of the year. Max the producer even said Violet, Champagne and
I can go through wardrobe on our last day and take whatever Cindy Glass hasn’t
already scooped up for herself. I don’t know if that’s safe but I’m prepared to
battle for what I deserve.”

            When it
came to Markie filling in his gaps, he told Serena how living with Rick was
potentially threatening his health and how the sight of him together with Tabitha
(
you do know about that, don’t you Serena?
) still shocked him to bits.

            “I can
honestly say I never saw it coming. Never ever.”

            “Really?”
Serena laughed. “Why I’ve known about Rick carrying a torch for her for ages
now. And I won’t even go into about how Tabitha felt about him. It was Alison
and Billy from Melrose Place all over again.”

            Markie
immediately raised his eyebrows. “Another analogy may be in order, honey. You
know soap operas aren’t my forte.”

            “Not
necessary, I’m sure one look at them says it all.”

            The
conversation flowed like this for quite some time. Markie avoided all mention
of busty secretaries, one night stands and in particular Serena’s one-time clash
meeting with Clarissa. Serena erstwhile steered clear of ex-artiste boyfriends,
Latino men and more-in depth questions re: Tabitha’s escapades, about which she
only recently knew about.

            It was
going well for both parties. They were slowly but surely breaking that ice,
while skillfully evading any premature drowning.

            “So a week
from now I’m supposed to be moving back here,” Markie said, “how do you feel
about that?”

            “Okay I
guess,” Serena said with a half fake smile. “It’s not like your return is a
permanent thing. You’ll be rushing straight off to LA soon, won’t you?”

            Oh so they
were back to that again….

            “Serena,
if anything please just stop saying “you” when it’s “we” that we’re dealing
with. Okay? We would be going; we would be starting a new life together. And
should you choose not to go for whatever reason then there’s no pressure. You
can keep the house, so you don’t have to worry about saying yes just because
the alternative is living on the streets.”

            “Is that
where you think I’d end up without you, on the streets?” The look in Serena’s
eyes was begging Markie to be taken seriously. As if being homeless was a real
alternative.

            “Serena,
did you lose your mind over the past few months? It’s me Markie, your old best
friend and boyfriend you are talking to.  The one who loves you and thinks
you’re great…”

            He paused
to see whether any of this positive reinforcement was working and noticed that
Serena was now more hunched and withdrawn than ever. What in the world happened
to this girl while he was away? It was as if she got tossed into a miserable
dark cave like those Romanian girls with only bread and water for sustenance.

            Instinctively,
Markie leaned forward to give Serena a hug, a big, hard hug that silently sent
all the right messages. Serena responded by hugging harder and when Markie
attempted to pull back, to find some answer in her eyes, he found only that his
long lost love would not let go.

            So they
stayed like that all night until one and then the other eventually slipped away
into Dreamland. Neither Markie nor Serena would complain if they never came
back.

Ordinarily living with
someone who was extremely chirpy would be considered a good thing.  Not only
because they lent a nice, positive vibe to the environment but because they also
remembered to do things like burn lavender oil and more importantly made sure
the fridge was stocked with essentials like frozen pizza and Diet Coke. Just in
case, for times of need…

            Unfortunately
the time of need for Rick was right now - yet the last thing he wanted was a
bouncing Wiggle with the sun beaming out of his ass. That was Markie, in case you
hadn’t seen the psycho happy Cloud Nine boy over the past few days. Serena was
responsible for his happiness no doubt; Serena and maybe the fact that their
three months was almost up.

            “Isn’t
life just absolutely great?” Markie sang, waltzing into the kitchen. He had two
oranges in his hand, freshly selected from the mobile grocer and Rick could already
guess what he was gonna do with them. Yep, don’t tell me, he was reaching for
the juice squeezer…that would make it fresh OJ three days in a row now. 

            “Hey do
you want some?” Markie asked, seeing Rick at the table, “I’ve got more oranges
in the fridge if you’d like an instant hit of vitamin C.”

            “No, no
thanks,” Rick grumbled, now more pissed off than ever.

            As if
wasn’t bad enough clowns like this walked the streets. But he was doing it
here, right here in his own house.

            “They say
it will hit ninety today, so I thought I might take a swim at the indoor pool
during lunch. Wanna join me?” Markie was busy cutting and twisting the oranges
as he spoke.  “Yes? No? Rick, are you listening?” 

            “Hell no,”
Rick replied, without bothering to take his eyes off the paper.

            “Excuse
me?” Markie looked up, half amazed. “Did I just hear you reject a chance to
take a swim? Man, are you okay? What’s up?”

            Oh Christ.
Why didn’t he just shoot himself before it was too late? The only thing worse
than a Wiggle was a Wiggle trying to do his best Dr Phil impersonation.

            “Nothing
mate. Though what I’d really like is that you leave me alone for a while. Give
me a moment’s peace.”

            Markie
took this comment in then went back to his grinding, with a new resolve in his
eyes.

            “Okay,
okay, be that way if you must. But I know what this is about. And you’re not
gonna win her back by moping around the house like a love-sick troll. Pick up
your balls man and just give her a call… She’s waiting for it, you know.”

            Come
again? Rick tore his attention away from the paper for a second. He’d forgotten
Markie had access to Serena who had access to Tabitha all this time. That’s
right, they were best friends and best friends told each other everything, especially
when it came to boyfriends and fights.

            “Tell me
what you know exactly,” he asked matter-of-factly. No need to get worked up
about this connection just yet; maybe it was a false alarm, Markie playing his
bluff.

            “If I tell
you will you listen to my advice or would I just be wasting my breath?”

            “Probably
wasting it but it wouldn’t be the first time.”

Markie
grinned. “With you, what more can I expect?”

            It turned
out Markie knew all about Rick and Tabitha’s quarrel, right down to the very last
detail.

            “Girls are
very thorough in that way you know.”

            In short,
Tabitha was upset – or shall we say devastated – about what she considered to
be Rick’s betrayal. That being: the absolute no notice she received of
Guerrilla’s Zoo impending trip – the term trip used very loosely here.

            “Trying to
run off to LA without saying so much as a word to her was kind of dumb and
risky,” Markie admitted. “If anything you’re lucky to have one saving grace.
And that’s the fact she’s apparently liked you for a while, at times almost
borderline obsessively.”

            “Really?”
Rick raised his eyebrows.  Hmmm…could’ve fooled him. “But obsessive is a good
thing here, isn’t it?”

            “Well good
if you like her,” Markie responded, putting the squeezer aside and taking a sip
of juice.  “You do like Tabitha don’t you?”

            “Of course
I do. You think I’d let you speak to me like a schoolteacher if I didn’t?”

            “Who
knows?” Markie shrugged. “You always liked to be reprimanded.”

            All jokes
aside Rick came clean with his feelings for Tabitha. He liked her, liked her
lots, so much so that it led to his choking episode.

            “I couldn’t
tell her about the trip man because I knew she’d freak and then I’d freak. So
when I found out you told Serena about the move I thought sweet! Serena will
tell Tabitha who will then start making plans…”

            “In other
words, you wanted someone else do the dirty work and you just somehow meet up
with Tabitha at the airport on the day?”

            “Exactly…except
it hasn’t quite worked out that way.” Rick frowned.

            Markie
tried hard not to laugh. “You do realize what needs to be done now, don’t you?”

            “Sort of,”
Rick mumbled. “I’m not sure if I can do it on my own though.”

            “How about
if I give you a little help; we can treat it like another creative brainstorm.
Two heads are always better than one in instances like this.”

            “You’d
really help me out?” Rick asked, looking slightly skeptical but ready to cling
to Markie’s heels.

            Markie
nodded. “Mate, a friend in need is a friend indeed. Don’t you ever forget it.”

Back at the terrace,
Tabitha was giving new meaning to the word wallow.

            Forget
about the word in the conventional sense, which merely encouraged luxuriating
and reveling in self-righteousness and pity. Oh no, Tabitha had taken wallowing
to a new degree. With her deep diving and synchronized swimming into the well
of depression she wouldn’t be surprised if wallowing got named a professional
sport at the next Olympics.

            “Great, at
least I’ll get out of this my first gold medal.”

            Tabitha
buried her hand back into the bag of Doritos and pulled out enough chips to
stuff into three adult mouths. That would be her secret weapon, a mouth bigger
than most, to nicely complement her tears blobbier than most, a heart weaker
than most and hair oilier than most. Rather than being disgusted by the
combination, Tabitha thought herself proud as a poster child for the
heartbroken.

            “A poster
child for all the women screwed-up by men revolution,” she sighed.

            Tabitha
knew she had promised not to get down over Rick’s betrayal but if she kept this
wallowing hidden in the dark, surely it didn’t count? It was not like anyone
ever had to know about the soppy DVDs, the best-of-Shania music CDs or her
fortune telling cards.

            Tabitha
had stumbled across the last one quite by accident in the bookshop. Searching
for some how-to books on getting over a break-up, she had been directed to the
under $5 dollars discount table outside the store.