The Numbers Game (39 page)
Authors: Frances Vidakovic
“Oh yes, I
would die without them by my side.”
They just
didn’t have the need to jump into bed with them at every instance anymore. This
obviously didn’t help Serena at all with deciding between Jasper and Markie.
Because according to the Wise Women Network, her excited feelings for her honey
(everyone thought it was Markie she was talking about) were to be ‘enjoyed
while they lasted, because they didn’t last forever’. There would come a time
apparently when she would ‘much prefer a relaxing night in front of the TV
rather than riotous sex. If smart, ‘sex should be treated like a fine wine,
savored and enjoyed and not overdosed on every night or else she might develop
a revulsion towards it.’
Serena
decided this inconclusive evidence called for a pros-cons list.
She pulled
out a sheet of A4 paper and drew a line down the middle; Markie on the left and
Jasper on the right. Then came the second line, a horizontal one to separate
the ‘For’ points from the ‘Against.’ Okay let’s treat this like a mathematical
problem. Doing her best to stay objective, Serena concentrated on producing
legitimate observations. This was what she came up with.
MARKIE
Why I should choose
Him
- Because we’ve
been together for five years and have always had a wonderful relationship. - Because he’s nice
and trustworthy and loves me lots. - Oh and I love him
too, in that best friend kind of way.
Why I shouldn’t choose
him
- Because…we’re on
a break and if things were really fine we would never have gone on one. - Because lately
our relationship was becoming quite complacent and that might be a sign of
worse to come.
JASPER
Why I should choose
Him
- Because he is
exciting, wonderful and creative. - Because he’s a
risk taker which means that maybe we can travel the world together. - Because he’s very
good in bed.
Why I shouldn’t choose
him
- Because of that
passion thing, it might possibly get stale in the future. - Because he may
simply be *too good to be true*.
Looking at
both sides, Serena wasn’t able to pick a definite winner. Of course her heart
was screaming out the most obvious answer –pick Markie, pick Markie – but
something stopped her from saying yes to him. What was it exactly? Was it
having the backup of another man? That was partly it. The other silent factor
was her new found independence. If one asked Serena three months ago how she
knew Markie was The One she would’ve given you the clichéd reply:
“Because I
can’t live without him.”
That was
the way she calculated true love
. Can’t live without = love, can live
without him = passing phase.
Even though it was hard that first week,
moving into Tabitha’s and adjusting to life on her own, Serena had survived.
She could in spite of everything still walk and talk, eat and breathe totally
without any problems, which reflected what on her relationship with Markie? Yep
you guessed it: at the very worst, her boyfriend of five years was not nearly
as needed and indispensable as previously believed.
Yes, but
say she wasn’t going to be seeing him soon? What if he moved to another country
or city, would she care then?
Serena
supposed she would. Sighing deeply she gave her ‘other half’ theory a little
more thought before suddenly growing skeptical. Who was to say she wouldn’t
survive living without Jasper just as well if given half a chance? Maybe she
would, even more easily. Maybe the “dying when the other half separates” theory
was just bull because humans weren’t like autumn leaves in the wind. They were
built like precise machines, blood pumping through intricate veins within
milliseconds to all vital organs; our bodies were capable of falling off ten
storey buildings and still surviving. So maybe when it came to things like love
we were much stronger than we gave ourselves credit for.
Maybe she
didn’t miss Markie too much because she wouldn’t miss anybody…with a
replacement available. Maybe she didn’t miss him because she knew she’d
eventually be going back. They were options Serena hadn’t considered before.
And that’s because missing him was never an option. Remember the guy was going
away to sleep with other girls; so switching her emotions off and removing her
caring gene had had to happen on that first day.
Don’t think
à
equaled
don’t hurt
à
which equaled
don’t miss.
But once
she switched her feelings back on and allowed herself to be immersed in the
love that once was who knew what could happen….
With all that was
happening with Rick, Tabitha forgot about her fight with Serena. Well sort of
forgot.
You see,
now that she had boyfriend, the need for a best friend wasn’t as strong as before.
She had someone else to confide in, someone else whom to call.
After
their first date, Tabitha found herself hanging out a lot with Rick: going to
the movies, strolling through the park, enjoying beach picnics, that type of
couple thing. To cement their relationship Rick had even planted a warm kiss on
her nervous lips. It was nice but he never crossed the line, meaning they were
still at the handholding stage. Sex or even head jobs seemed so very far away.
“So will I
see you tonight?” Tabitha asked coyly, when she called Rick at ten as
requested.
On the cell
phone of course; for some reason Rick preferred to be contacted directly via
his shrilly silver Nokia phone, even when in his office or at home, meaning Tabitha’s
bills would surely escalate up to five hundred dollars a month.
“Sure,”
Rick said, clearing his throat. He then put on what Tabitha called his ‘other
people are in the room’ voice. “Tonight is feasible.”
Tabitha
furrowed her eyebrows. Okay this was getting annoying. Calling him rather than
the other way around was one thing but vagueness…that was her pet hate.
Glancing at The Rules book which peeked out of her bag, Tabitha forced herself
to take a deep breath and remain sweet and gentle. They were Rick’s favorite
characteristics in a woman.
“Hey is
that Markie in the background? Is that why you can’t talk?”
To be
honest, Tabitha was secretly pissed off she hadn’t as yet bumped into Serena’s
old love. She was hoping to get a bit of gossip straight from the source, like
whether Markie’s willy was actually out playing every night. After all weren’t
he and Rick supposed to be best friends? Weren’t they supposed to be living
together? Tabitha couldn’t be 100% sure because Rick had never volunteered to
take her to his place, something about preferring to be out in the open. Here
there everywhere but home.
“That’s
correct,” Rick responded. Then there came a pause. “Look can I actually call
you back to confirm that appointment.”
“I don’t
know,” Tabitha replied, squeezing her eyes shut, “that depends on whether I’m
currently your dentist, doctor or secret rent-a-friend.” She slammed down the
phone before Rick could say another word and then screamed, slinking to the
floor.
Really, it
was no wonder Tabitha hadn’t tackled this relationship thing before. What was
the point of it? She couldn’t even pass one stupid week without blowing her
fuse. Relationships required patience, acceptance and lots of fake smiles or
nodding, talents she was not bestowed with.
Sure spending
time with a kindred soul was pleasant. It was nice having someone interested in
your day and what you had to say and telling you that you were pretty. Even
this… her cell phone started ringing with Rick’s name flashing across the screen…having
someone give a hoot when you got angry was quaint but still was it worth all
the headache and heartache?
“Hello.”
This time Tabitha sounded anything but sweet and gentle. She was over the
charade.
“Tabitha,”
Rick ventured warily. No doubt he was alone; no man would try this wussy voice on
in front of other males. “Are you okay?”
“I don’t
know.” Tabitha crossed her arms and hoped the negative body language would
transcend the airwaves. “I haven’t decided yet.”
“Can you
maybe decide…or at the very least tell me why you’re so angry?”
Tabitha
was silent, hoping maybe Rick would get the picture and go away. But he didn’t.
“Listen,
maybe it’s best we just don’t see each other anymore. When you have time to
make and receive calls via landline and invite your supposed friend back to
your place, drop me a call. Until then it’s sayonara.”
“Excuse
me?”
But Tabitha
was already gone; just one week and two days after their first phone call.
For five
seconds she stood there, feeling incredibly proud of herself. There, she had finally
told him how she felt. She had made it clear she wasn’t prepared to put up with
his hoopla. Ha!
Ha, ha,
ha! This was so funny all Tabitha wanted to do was laugh until she cried. And
cry she did, first quietly like one does when watching a comedy show, until
gradually it built to that embarrassingly level, where one’s chest begins
heaving, nose gets clogged with snot and eyes get red with spider-veins. Oh my
- the only thing was by then it wasn’t so funny anymore; Tabitha felt as if she
was drowning in a flood of horror and despair.
“I don’t
have a boyfriend anymore!” she blubbered, “We just broke up! Rick and I just
broke up and I’m going to be alone FOREVER…”
Now that
Rick was gone, Tabitha wanted him back more than anything. So what if he had
strange calling habits and didn’t invite her home. Some people would think that
was great…he wasn’t trying to rush her into bed. Plus having his cell number
meant she could contact him anywhere, anytime. Some men hid their cell number
from their partners, in lieu of mistresses.
Oh my,
what had she done? She was so pathetically overdramatic.
Her cell phone
went off again and this time Tabitha picked it up with hopes it was Serena. I
know, I know, the chance of Serena calling right now were about a trillion to
one. But a chance was a chance; sometimes only a girl can understand the
problems of another girl.
“Hello?”
Tabitha said expectantly.
“Tabitha?”
it was Rick again and he seemed surprised to have caught her sane. “Look can
you please listen to me for a sec? I just want to apologize for being rude to
you before and giving you the wrong impression. I don’t think you’re a
rent-a-friend or whatever you called it. You’re special… a really special girl
and…” He stopped to take a breather, after rushing into his well-rehearsed
piece. Or maybe he’d forgotten what came next. Either way Tabitha waited for
Rick to continue, too shocked to provide backup assistance.
“I’d like
to make it up to you, if you’ll allow me.”
“Of course
I’ll allow you,” Tabitha replied promptly, ignoring the Rules book.
She
vaguely sensed this response went totally against the chapter on delay tactics
but so what? Weren’t the authors of
The Rules
both divorced? Wasn’t
anyone who even purchased The Rules book a sad case?” Tabitha decided as of now
she’d try out a different experiment - do everything opposite to the Rules.
Let’s see where that led her.
“So
tonight can I pick you up at seven o’clock?”
“Seven’s
fine.”
“There’s
only one thing.” Rick paused. “How do you feel about packing an overnight bag?”
Tabitha
smiled.
“Are you
serious?”
“Absolutely,
not that we’ll be doing anything other than talking”
“Of
course,” Tabitha replied.
Though
inside she was thinking
never underestimate a good talk
. This Opposite
Rules game was already working.
If Markie thought he
was going to get intelligent feedback regarding the takeover from Rick then he
was in store for a rude awakening.
But why be
surprised? After all, his partner was acting like a secret agent spy. Nowadays
Rick regularly took hush-hush calls in the privacy of his office and at night,
more and more often he disappeared into no-man’s land dressed to kill. Whenever
Markie pressed him with unsubtle questions like “So where are you going?” Rick
would grunt and saying nothing except: