The Numbers Game (19 page)

            “Absolutely
not,” Tabitha shook her head. “You look like a woman who has just rolled out of
bed.”

            “Well,”
Serena smiled, dumping her dirty blush dress and intimates into the washing machine
and switching it onto the delicate rinse. It was hard keeping the excitement
in, “All I’m gonna say is that we didn’t have sex. At least not yet.”

            “Bullcrap!”
Tabitha screamed, attacking Serena with both arms. “I’ve been waiting up for
you all night, as if you aren’t going to tell me
every
sordid detail,
recounted step by step, now, right now in the kitchen. I even got us McDonalds
Hotcakes specifically for the occasion.”

            So she had.
The breakfast table - if you could call it that, given that it reached Serena’s
ankles - had been laid out with red and white gingham of Pizza Hut fame. On top
there were the two Styrofoam boxes sitting, smelling absolutely delicious, and
a jug of freshly poured out of the carton orange juice. Serena took her place
on the pink cushion, Tabitha on the purple.

            “Did you
get extra syrup?”

            “I did, I
did.” Two small satchels came flying her way. “So tell me, he took you to the
art gallery and then what?”

            That’s
right; Serena had already texted Tabitha the surprise location of her date during
a quick trip to the bathroom.

            “Well,
after discovering Jasper is representing the US in Vienna in two months time,
he took me to this nearby fish shop where we got like a kilo of king prawns,
oysters and hot chips. You know the type they wrap in newspaper and we ate it
all up at the bay, right underneath the stars. It was very romantic.”

            “And?”
Tabitha titled her head forward. “I think I need more information here. All I
see is greasy fingers and smelly breath.”

            “Oh it was
anything but. You see, we ended up washing our hands in the sea and before we
knew it, one splash led to another and we were soaked and swimming in our
underwear.”

            “So how
did this not lead to sex?” Tabitha asked dumbfounded. Less clothes, the quicker
the contact between sexual organs was her experience.

            “Sheer and
utter control, I guess,” Serena shrugged. “Plus it was freezing cold.”

            Maybe
under different circumstances, the inevitable would’ve transpired. But by the
time they emerged from the icy water, their clothes lay in a wet heap in the
sand and their numb skin was covered with a sticky seawater film. Maybe if they
had ignored the outdoor shower stalls only fifteen meters away, they would have
ended back at his C-Lounge apartment bathing together. Except it didn’t work
out that way; he acted like a perfect gentleman.

            “You
kissed him though? Tell me you at least had the decency to stick your tongue
down his throat.”

“Don’t
worry, I didn’t disappoint you.”

            Serena
sighed at the memory. One moment, she was frolicking in the sea and the next
Jasper had her in his strong arms, running across the beach like Superman.
Serena had her own arms wrapped around his neck, clinging on for their dear
life and when they reached the showers, she half-expected him to dump her on
the ground. That was what Markie would’ve done. He would’ve deposited Serena
under one showerhead and gotten his own body under another.

            “Here,”
Jasper had said instead, “watch me demonstrate some super human strength.” With
one arm he held tight onto her body, still elevated mid-air while using the
other to twist on the tap. Seconds later chilled water came gushing out of the
pinprick holes, turning Serena’s nipples hard and all the while he never let
her go.

            “I don’t
think this is exactly the way to get clean,” she remarked, clenching her eyes
shut. She was enjoying the embrace, not least because his body heat was saving
her from pneumonia. But she felt the need to inject some small talk anyway.
Just in case Jasper had reservations, in case after tonight he still thought of
her as nothing more than a friend.

            It was as
her eyes were closed that Serena felt Jasper’s hot lips brush against hers. In
the car, later, he’d tell her he couldn’t help himself: the sight of her all
wet and vulnerable-looking struck some chord within him. Her lips of course
accepted his immediately, opening themselves up like a rosebud on a sweet
spring’s day. Ah, there was nothing more beautiful than it in the world,
passionate kisses and probing tongues.

            If it
weren’t for the tut-tutting from parents passing by with their bird-feeding bound
children, who knows how long they would have stay intertwined. Probably
forever, such was their stupor. Eventually though Jasper lowered Serena gently
onto the ground and asked her to wait there. He ran off back to the spot where
all their belongings were dumped and looked severely disturbed to find Serena
shivering like an ice-cube upon return.

            “I better
take you home,” he said, wrapping a dry jumper around her shoulders. He
probably thought that to take her anywhere else would be inconsiderate. And he
was right. At times like this, a girl needed her own shampoo, conditioner,
toothbrush and things. Serena hadn’t thought to bring any of these along with
her on this date. Next time, she thought as he dropped her off, she’d have to
remember her essentials.

            “Meaning
there will be a next time…” Tabitha hinted suggestively.

            “Definitely,”
Serena sighed, cutting another large chunk of pancake and stuffing it into her
mouth. “It’s as if I’m falling in love all over again.”

            “With
Jasper?”

            “Well
certainly not Captain Underpants…”

            At this
point, maybe warning bells should’ve been set off to signal a quandary. Because
when it came to Markie, it was like…well, like Markie who?

            The
quickest way to wipe out an old memory was to start creating new ones.

Now it wasn’t often
that Serena felt something with utmost certainty.

            Usually
she was open to and prepared for changes in the wind. Because anything can
happen, right? Nothing is set in stone. A plane may crash, a train may break
down or one might catch chicken pox off a little boy who picks his scabs and
touches fruit in the grocery store. Life was about as predictable as guessing
the latest celebrity couple to go down in divorce.

            That being
said, if Serena had a million dollars or even if she didn’t, she would put all
her money, down to the last penny, on a bet that Jasper Mason would be calling
her again. He would, he had to. Serena had seen it in his eyes, as he walked
her to the door that night; when they separated it was like trying to tear
opposing poles of two gigantic magnets apart – almost impossible.

            Conservatively
speaking, Serena was giving him until Monday, Tuesday at the latest but then
Jasper surprised her with a late Sunday evening call. Tabitha raised her eyebrows
as her best friend scurried off to the kitchen and slid the door shut behind.
What was going on? Firstly a call on Sunday when no one in their right mind
makes calls then except overbearing mothers. Secondly, taking the phone into
the kitchen - wasn’t that a bit juvenile? As if one had something to hide, a
big bad secret, when in fact every already knew your pockets were full with stolen
sweets?

            “Hello?”
Serena sighed, leaning against the door and sliding until her bottom hit the
tiles. It had been a while since she’d talked to someone from ground zero
position and the effect was amazing. Tabitha’s small cramped kitchen which was filled
with fat Buddha cookie jars, herb concoctions and onion ropes suddenly seemed
large, almost spacious.

            “Hey
Serena, its Jasper. I just thought I’d call to see if you were okay, that the
late night swim didn’t leave you with pneumonia.”

            Gosh it
must be the sign - a boy surely likes a girl when he is super concerned about their
well being!

            “Oh I’m
fine,” Serena replied. “If anything the swim corrupted me.”

            “Corrupted
you?” Jasper guffawed. She could tell he was intrigued by the hint of
corruption. “In what way?”

            “If
anything it has made me want to be spontaneous way more often.  Let’s just say
I haven’t gone for an evening swim since I was at least sixteen.”

“Does that
mean if I invited you for a day of abseiling next weekend you’d be up for it?”

            “Are you
serious? Yes, definitely yes,” Serena squealed, before she had time to flick
through her imaginary diary. Then came the horror. Oh Lord Saturday was ages
away, a millennium in new relationship years. She couldn’t wait that long. With
every day, every second that passed, another chunk of their intimacy was being
chipped off. At this rate they’d be strangers by the time they met again. 

            “How about
dinner tomorrow night then?” Jasper asked, saving Serena from her silent
meltdown, “so we can go through the safety measures first.”

            “Yes,
safety measures are vital,” Serena nodded. “Definitely.”

             She
agreed to meet him at seven o’clock, his apartment, and slammed down the phone
before she could ask if any naked girls would be answering his door. She was a
full-grown remember now, there was no need to stoop to that level.

            “Ahhhh!”
Serena screamed, racing through the house, “I’m going on another date, I’m
going on another date! What do I wear? What the hell do I wear?”  By this time
she was standing over her suitcase, throwing dress after dress over her
shoulder.        “Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap,” she labeled each one before
falling back onto the futon. “I have nothing, I’m twenty eight and in all this
time I still haven’t acquired the perfect fail-proof seduction dress.”

            “What
about the pink dress?” Tabitha smirked, leaning against the door, arms crossed.
“It brought you luck on Saturday night.”

            Serena
frowned. “You’re kidding right? You know full well Jasper won’t be seeing that
dress on my body for at least another three months.”

            According
to Tabitha that was the current requisite outfit rotation cycle. To appear in
something twice any sooner than that would be an insult to her panache.

            “Hang on,
what about Markie? Isn’t that who you will be with in three months time?”

     Serena looked up
to see Tabitha staring back down with a devilish smile. “Huh?”

            It was
just like Tabitha to bring up ludicrous things whilst Serena was in her match
and patch mode. In her head, she had already concocted a wonderfully elaborate
plan. She had this fabulous gold lame evening dress which she’d only ever worn
once and a black cashmere sweater. What she was thinking was she’d chop the
dress off to knee length and find a long black satin ribbon to wrap around her
waist, because together the two would look ultra Parisian.

            “Serena, Markie
is your boyfriend.”

            “Oh right,
yes I guess he is. Or at least he was until he decided to dump me.”

            Tabitha
was none impressed by this remark. One minute Serena was crying like a baby
over Markie, heaving that he was one she was supposed to marry, have babies
with and yadda, yadda, yadda. Then with a click of one artist’s finger, five
long years spiral down the drain. It was sickening. Tabitha wasn’t even sure
about this Jasper character. Sure he seemed nice enough and he was the typical
Mr. Sensitive back in university but a girl should never forget the bucket load
of tears she cried once upon a time. There are some things one doesn’t ever
forgive.

            “Serena,”
Tabitha said, pulling a pair of scissors from the drawer and passing them to
her. Scissors had to be more effective than teeth when tearing up clothes. “Can
I ask you a personal question, honey?”

            “Personal?
Sure, go ahead,” Serena replied, ripping into the gold dress with the blade.
Personal from Tabitha usually meant she wanted to know the last time Serena had
a bowel movement, passed wind or masturbated.

            “Will you
answer it honestly?”

            “Of course
I will,” Serena huffed insulted by the insinuation she might lie. She never,
ever lied; if anything she just omitted a few details or used wishy washy words
as a disguise but lie -never.

            “Okay then
answer me this. You’re about to walk down the aisle and two men are standing
there, both dying to have you as their bride. Who do you choose, Markie or
Jasper?”

            “Huh?”
Serena replied, for the trillionth time since losing her mind on the phone with
Jasper.

            The
question stumped her because it wasn’t what she was expecting. Markie or
Jasper, how could she choose between the two? It was like comparing vanilla
slices with chocolate donuts; she loved them both - in different ways, of course.
One was chocolate: the dependable aphrodisiac, the one she could pick up at the
local bakery on her way to work. The other was vanilla: a delicacy she discovered
later in life, one she had to drive at least thirty minutes to acquire but it
was irresistible and worth it nonetheless. Serena would have driven hours just
to buy those addictive vanilla slices (complete with passion fruit seeds on
top) if she had to.