The Nothing (6 page)

“Madam if your
friends weren’t here, would you feel an overwhelming urge to touch it; to put it in your mouth? Does a man’s penis count as the main factor for what a woman is looking for a mate?” Most of her friends quickly made their way from the table to somewhere else, excusing themselves to use the restroom, or get another drink. Unfortunately she wasn’t able to escape with them. She was actually quite afraid and hoping that her friends were calling 911.
Do I walk away? Will he chase me and hurt me? Rape me? Assholes could have stayed here with me! Could have made him zip his pants up. Well he is sweaty and fat. You feel sorry for him the moment you meet him
.
How is a girl to know what to do until she is in a situation like this?
You would figure that Miguel and Juan would have stood by and not pussied out.
Even though he is not trying to touch me, he is still sitting three feet away on a stool with his dick showing. I am not sure what he will do if I get up and try to leave. I really don’t like the look in his eyes.
The cops arrived a few minutes later.

All seventy-seven records earned James $560.
James had gone home that day right after work to grab them. His mother was usually at the gym during that time. The plan was to only grab a few, but the excitement and hope for a good amount of money led him to take as many as he could carry.

What a fucking rush that was.
Fucking Navy Seal couldn’t have pulled that off that shit! That whore better go above and beyond for this. She better rock my world. Mr. Mack is one tough mother, but people don’t realize the skills and experience my life has granted me. If I were to lose the weight, I would be a prime candidate for the Navy Seals or Delta Force. I have what it takes and would be going in with more under my belt then most other guys.
James feels that his mind is different and constantly expanding; absorbing everything like a sponge. He has watched every season of a show about the Delta Force call ‘The Unit’ and every season of the Keifer Sutherland show ‘24’ twice. Because he watched those shows so many times, he came to feel that he is someone who could hold his own in combat or a crisis.

James was
somewhat remorseful for taking his Mom’s cell phone that morning, but more so for cleaning out half of her record collection. However, he was able to push those feelings aside at the thought of losing his virginity later that evening. Two of his phones had previously fallen into toilets. T-mobile wouldn’t send him another one and he couldn’t afford to buy a new phone because he had too many credit card and loan payments. James really wants an iPhone and decided he would buy one if he can talk the prostitute down on the price.

It was two days before
Mr. Mack finally came by. “Hey big guy! Here is her number. She has time this evening at six. Since you get off a five that should work for you. Give her a call and work out the details with her. She is really going to help you. But don’t screw it up with any bullshit ok? All you need to do is go see her and let her take the lead. Don’t act stupid. Shower first. Oh and she calls herself Dr. Cando.” James was smiling and didn’t realize he was bouncing in his seat like a child who just got a lollipop. “Sure Mr. Mack, I’m going to allow myself to get into the submission position! Oh, I can also do much more than $300 dollars, what will that get me?” Mr. Mack was surprised that James seemed to have all this money laying around. The pink cell phone sitting next to James’s lunchbox struck him as odd too. “Discuss it with her and see what happens. Hey, nothing wrong with tipping. Be generous and she will be too.”

The slam of
his station door shutting made James feel as though he was beginning a great adventure. He immediately picked up his mom’s pink Nokia. After three rings, a soft voice answered “Hello?” James hawked and cleared his throat into his trashcan. “Hello Dr. Cando, my name is James Featherworth the third, and I was referred to you by a professional acquaintance here at Transcom who said that you were a woman that can help a man deal with running the world. The responsibilities can leave a real man on the edge. Help me redeem my strength and the power to lead. Oh, do you do anal?” A loud cough and the flick of what was probably a cigarette lighter came before an annoyed voice. “Hello James, that was a hell of an introduction. I was expecting your call. I am available from six until nine tonight. Which time would work best for you?”

“How about the whole time?
Since you don’t have any other guests slated, we can spend more time working together.”

“It will be three appointments then.”

James sat there for a moment feeling
a tad derailed. It was her tone. No emotion or joyful response to his intro. In his imagination, this was supposed to be a woman who couldn’t wait to meet him. It felt to him like he was scheduling a doctor’s appointment. No enthusiasm or loving talk. But at the same time he began feeling confident. James was thinking he would negotiate a better deal when he got there.

After one hour,
she will want more. I’m sure hookers appreciate pleasure too. I know that after an hour with me, she will give me the rest for free. Hell! She may even want me to spend the night! I’ve watched enough porn. I know what to do. Who knows? I may be the man this hooker has been waiting for and will fall in love with me. She would like my mom too!

“I tell yo
u what sweetie, we’ll talk when I get there at six.”

“Sure thing James.
I am located across the street from your building at the Guinevere Apartments in number 3252.”

“See you then princess!
”
That went well. Dr. Cando will have no choice but to be excited and enthusiastic when I put my hand in her pants!

James left work at 5:05
and walked across the street to the Guinevere Apartments. Then he remembered that Mr. Mack said to take a shower.
My deodorant should be ok. I don’t have any diseases so why shower?
Temperatures in the analyst stations can reach 85 degrees with all the electronics. It also doesn’t help that he is extremely overweight. In the time he spent searching for unit 3252, he managed to soak his t-shirt and jeans in sweat. It was 93 degrees at that time of day, but felt like 110 to him.
Aww shit I am soaked. She will have to just deal with it. When a man works hard, he sweats hard and a woman should accommodate and appreciate!

The Guinevere Apartments are
a collection of scattered and aged buildings three stories tall with no elevators. There were nice shrubs and balconies in front of all the units and stairwells. It was an inviting complex with barbecue pits, kids toys, bicycles, and basic patio furniture. James decided he would ask Dr. Cando if he could use her shower before their appointment.
I have forty minutes until my session. Maybe I can tease her a bit in the shower first. I bet she wants to take one too.
At 5:20 he found apartment 3252 and knocked three times. After twenty seconds he knocked again. When another minute passed with no response, James started getting pissed.
It would be nice if she would answer the fucking door. Wouldn’t she prefer me to shower before our session?
Several neighbors looked through their blinds because he was knocking so hard. After five minutes he was reaching the boiling point. There was a distinct heat in his head. Humidity was high that day. Sweat was dripping from his face as if he just had a huge bucket of water poured on his head. Then the door opened. Through an opening a few inches wide, a woman’s sweaty face with smeared makeup appeared. “May I help you? Did you not get the hint after a few knocks? Is there something wrong?” James was ready with his introduction. “I’m James. I am here for an appointment with some lucky woman which I assume is you.”

“Oh, hi.”
Dr. Cando looked annoyed and rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry James, but you are very early and I am with another client. You need to wait for your appointment.”

“I need to use your shower.
I would like to be presentable when we have our session.” A look of surprise came to her face as if saying what nerve this guy has.

“My client and I are using the shower right now.
It is really your responsibility to be ready and presentable before you show up. Sit on the steps and when it is your turn, I will come get you.”
My turn? Is this like sitting on Santa Clause’s lap at the mall? Have to wait my turn? Another client? I thought I was the only one. So this is what it is like for guys waiting in line to get a blowjob from the local slut in the boy’s restroom.

James had been feeling special and unique today
. But the idea of being a client and waiting his turn, made the whole adventure seem so trivial and disconnecting. This was supposed to be a time of love and affection. James always wanted to feel that he is the only one. That it would be like in the movies with soft caresses and cuddling while telling each other their feelings for one another. And then there would be porno style sex. James turned around and sat on a hard concrete step. What he was going to get for the $560 became uncertain.

***

Years before, James actually desired to wait until marriage to have sex. He had been going to a big mega church called Houston Baptist Ministries. But only on the Sundays he was able to wake up. His hope was that people in the singles program would accept him and that he would find a girlfriend. The problem was that James missed church too often which kept people from getting to know him or form friendships. Going to Sunday school after missing one or two weeks felt like starting from the beginning of earning everyone’s respect. James would sometimes go to the main service after the class, but rarely stayed the whole time. And that was because James’ sole purpose was to find the woman he was supposed to marry. Being surrounded by thousands of people cheering to Pastor Nick made a person like James feel too anonymous.

One time a singles program teacher
told him, “Usually we have four types of people here, lawyers, teachers, engineers and financial advisors. And what do you do?”
God commands thee to not lie!
“I work at Best Buy.”

James was assigned to the class for singles age twenty-five to
thirty-five. The conversations in that class usually centered on the latest client drama, the stability of global markets, or how their Alumni football teams were faring. Bulky gold class rings graced many right ring fingers around the classroom. “Everyone is welcome here, everyone is a child of God. It doesn’t matter what you do or where you are from. We are all here to know God.” Even though the teacher said those things and said things like that often, James still felt discouraged and wondered how he could measure up to the big muscular successes that were in the class with him. Chairs at his table were often the last ones to fill up when it was time for class to start. Plus not once did any women in the class initiate a conversation with him. It made it tough to wake up and go on many Sundays. Plus, James routinely slept ten to twelve hours a night and if he didn’t go to sleep by 7 p.m. on Saturday, then he would skip church.

If I head out on Saturdays, maybe I will find a cool chick in a nice bar.
But what would God think of that? I can’t take the chance that he won’t bless me if I meet a girl in a bar. Got to wait ‘til marriage. It has to be at church. The odds are against me as it is. Can’t take a chance.

The
only girlfriend James ever had was a chubby Asian girl who thought the world of him. She chased after him the moment she saw him in the cat isle in Wal-Mart. Lena preferred larger men. And after a number of abusive boyfriends and a baby from a man in prison, she wanted the sweet guy. Looks didn’t matter to Lena at all. She shyly asked James to have coffee with her in the food court. Afterward, they exchanged numbers and made plans to go out to dinner that Friday night. James liked her and was happy to have finally found someone that was interested in him. She had sex appeal and enjoyed having conversations about sex. He enjoyed when she talked dirty and masturbated at night thinking of her and the things that she said. But then the religious battle would rage inside his head causing him to have mixed feelings. James worried that God wouldn’t bless him for being with Lena and abandon him. After three dates Lena took off her shirt and tried to convince him to make love. But James brought up his virginity and waiting until marriage; that God will take his blessings away if he sins.

“I know James and it’s ok.
But you think too much. I know how nervous it can be for someone when it’s his or her first time. And religion can intensify that anxiety which hinders needs and moves people away from each other. It’s natural for two people who care about each other to enjoy pleasuring each other physically. I am a sexual person and I think you can be too. You just need to trust me and allow yourself to experience everything about love.” Unfortunately, James had his mind made up. “I’m sorry Lena, I want to wait ‘til marriage. I believe that is what God wants for me.” Looking straight into James’ eyes while sitting on top of him in her bed, Lena kept trying. “God is going to bless you because you are a wonderful man. He knows our bodies and what our desires are. Don’t you feel frustrated many nights wishing you had the touch of a woman?” Lena was right. James wanted to feel happy and wanted. Though he wasn’t as overjoyed as he had dreamed he would be when he went out with Lena. It was a constant battle for James to stick to his guns. Yet sticking to his guns had left him alone and frustrated on most nights just like Lena had said. But James had his mind set. Waiting until marriage was his destiny and God will bless him more than anyone else because he didn’t give in to temptation.