Authors: Stacey Pond,BWWM Club
grabbed her up in his arms, kissed her face until she couldn’t
help but laugh and cry. She held on to him, her fingers digging into
his skin, but he didn’t care. He wiped his thumbs under her
eyes, collect the tears, pushing them away. His blue eyes found hers
and held them.
thought I was going to lose all of you.”
takes more than that to knock us down,” she said. “After
all, we are Rawlins.”
laughed, a relieved sound that flooded her with calm. He kissed her
deeply, not wanting to even come up for air. A knock on the door was
the only thing that made them break apart, even then, Matthew
wouldn’t let go of her hand. She turned as Sangi rushed in with
Andrew. Right on her heels were her parents and Matthew’s. She
was hugged, kissed and worried over until she thought her heart would
burst. She really did have a wonderful family.
stepped close to the bed, still keeping her distance. “I’m
glad you’re okay,” she said quietly.
could see that she really meant it. She opened her arms to the women,
waving her closer. She hugged Catherine just like she would her own
mom. As far as she was concerned, the past was the past. If she could
come that close to dying, there was no reason to ever hold a grudge.
When they pulled apart however, Chelsea was surprised to see
Catherine crying. So was everyone else it seemed.
stop staring. You act like you’ve never seen me cry.”
haven’t seen you cry since I was eight,” Matthew said.
smacked him on the back of the head. He grinned. Matthew took out his
phone, holding up a picture of the twins. They were small, tiny in
fact, but they sure looked like they were okay. Both of them were
crying on the video, tiny hands and feet flying through the air to
protest their arrival into the world. Chelsea laughed, fresh tears
welling up in her eyes. She hugged the phone to her chest tightly.
She couldn’t wait to meet them.
next morning, she was up before the sun. She sat bouncing excitedly,
waiting for the nurse to bring the babies. She wheeled them in inside
see-through bassinets. The pink hatted twin was still sleeping, but
the boy was wide awake, looking around as he sucked on his fist. She
ran her fingers over the soft, black hair on his head.
beautiful. What should we name him?” She asked Matthew.
I was thinking we could name the boy Matthew Jr. and the girl Chelsea
stuck out her tongue. “How about no? I think we should name him
Mason and she looks like a Melanie.”
thought it over. “I like that a lot. Can he still have my name
for his middle name?”
laughed. “Of course.”
signed the birth certificates of Melanie Chelsea Rawlins and Mason
Matthew Rawlins together. The nurse showed her how to feed them, then
left to give them time with their babies. She lifted Mason to her
breasts as she cooed.
will never say anything bad about you or your sister ever again. I
kissed his forehead, the top of his head, his cheeks. She never felt
more love for someone than she did with her babies. In the back of
her mind, she knew the reason she’d been so concerned was that
she wasn't sure if she’d be a good mother. She wasn’t
sure if she had that mothering instinct that seemed to come so
naturally to her mom, but not at all to Matthew’s. In the end,
she knew she wouldn’t take back a minute of it.
we’ll have one or two more, in a few years.”
day quickly arrived for them to take the twins home. Chelsea had
another bout of anxiety. What if she was only a good mom in the
hospital? After all there were doctors, nurses, aides, outside there
would be no one but her and Matthew. She voiced those worries to him,
but he brushed them aside.
be fine. Besides, I don’t think you’ll be by yourself.”
about when you go back to work and I’m still on leave?”
we’ll hire somebody like we talked about, okay? Now here, let
me help you get dressed.”
helped her slip into the long, black dress and black flats he’d
brought for her. He held up her jacket and zipped it for her before
he settled her into a wheelchair before placing Mason on her lap in
his car seat. He took Melanie’s seat as the nurse pushed her
down the hall. Chelsea pulled the blanket over Mason’s chair
before they hit the cool November air. With the nurses help, Matthew
loaded first the babies, then Chelsea into the car. The heat was
already running, the warmth relaxing as it took away the bite of the
Chelsea’s anxiety didn’t die down as they drove
to their new home. All she knew was that Matthew, Sangi and Andrew
had helped put together the babies room. That at least made her
excited to see the beauty of it. As the city rolled by, Chelsea felt
exhaustion crash down on her. She leaned her head against the window,
the movement of the car lolling her into an easy, peaceful sleep.
was gently shaking her shoulder. She slipped an eye open and looked
around. He held out a hand to her, smiling to help her out of the
car. Chelsea yawned, stretching out slowly so she wouldn’t hurt
herself. She took his hand and he helped her into the house. Chelsea
could hear a woman’s voice upstairs talking to the babies.
nodded. “She’s going to stay for the night. Then, when I
have to go to work, she’ll stay for a few days to help you.”
smiled. She felt her anxiety melt away at the thought of her best
friend being there when Matthew wasn’t. He helped her up the
stairs slowly, her sharp intakes of breath telling him when to slow
down or let her rest. He tried to get her to lie down so he could
bring her the babies, but she shook her head. She wanted to see the
room had been completely redone while she was away. The walls were
painted a sunny yellow, striped with white. Two dressers stood on
either side of the room, white with black drawers. A black and white
mobile twisted and swayed above each of their bassinets. Melanie’s
bassinet was dusty rose colored, white Mason’s was a soft baby
blue. There were two white chairs in the nursery, a bookshelf stocked
with books, two changing tables and various stuffed animals decorated
the room. Chelsea grinned from ear to ear as she inspected every inch
my God, Matthew. It’s beautiful.”
knew you’d like it. We put the black in to help with brain
development, at least that’s what Sangi told me. She’s
smiled, proud of her contribution to the lovely room. She rocked
Melanie in her arms, the sound of her fussing just beginning. Chelsea
hugged her, before she ran a finger over the baby’s cheek
softly. The mere touch calmed the fussing baby as she went back to
softly gurgling, fist in her mouth.
hungry,” Chelsea said.
let me help you to the bedroom and you can feed them.”
time, Chelsea nodded letting Matthew take her from the room. When she
entered their bedroom, she could tell that he’d changed a lot
in there too. The bed was covered in black sheets and comforter, the
wood in the room dark and romantic. There was a large tv up on the
wall so she wouldn’t have to move much. He helped her settle
into the bed. She sighed as the aches and pains of her body were
comforted. Gazing around the room, she fell in love with it.
you so much honey. I really do love this house.”
I’m glad,” he said as he kissed her head.
wished everything could have gone as smoothly as it did the day she
came home from the hospital. Matthew massaged her feet. Got her food.
Kept her company. Over the next two weeks however, things went
downhill. At first it was little things, Chelsea noticed he wouldn’t
sit with her or he’d take his time getting to the babies. She
found herself angry all of the time. She spent most of her time in
the nursery, away from him. In her mind, as soon as he went back to
work he changed. Things didn’t get bad however, until the day
he told her he’d have to leave for two weeks for work.
you insane? We have two babies to look after! I can’t do it all
by myself, Matthew.”
why I asked you to hire someone before you even went into labor. I
can’t just stay here, skip out on work. Do you like living in
this house? Do you like eating? Okay, then leave me alone.”
was packing his bag rapidly, throwing everything together. She knew
he was pissed off, but she didn’t care. Chelsea closed the bag
making him sigh in exasperation.
really can’t do this right now?”
is that even supposed to mean? You had these babies with me, now you
need to help take care of them.”
gripped her shoulders. “That’s what I’m trying to
do. Look, these properties aren’t going to stick around
forever. I need this. My family needs this.”
moved away from him, sitting on the bed. “You just don’t
want to be around me,” she said quietly, pulling her robe
not true. You know that.”
she said as she pushed herself up and walked down the hall.
didn’t know what it was, but she heard something crash to the
floor. The famous Rawlins temper. The noise prompted crying from the
nursery, the sound echoing down the hall.
you happy, now?” She yelled at him from across the hell.
picked them both up, sat down in the chair with their pillows and
began to feed them. They quieted down right away. Matthew poked his
head in the door.
have to leave now to catch this flight.”
walked into the room. For a moment she could feel him looking at her.
She could feel the puppy dog eyes on his face without even looking at
them. His feet were muffled against the carpet as he walked over. He
kissed both of the twins softly. As he went to place a kiss on her
cheek, she moved her head away.
walked out of the room quickly. She heard the door downstairs slam
shut, making her jumped. Both babies started to cry. She shushed them
softly before she resumed feeding them. Tears ran down her face,
clouding her vision. She wanted things to go back to how they used to
next morning as Sangi walked through the door, she knew something was
wrong. Chelsea was lying in bed, her hair a mess of tangles. Her eyes
were red from crying. Sangi stroked her back as she lay in bed,
staring at the wall.
shrugged. How could she put it into words? She felt sad, so sad that
she didn’t want to get out of bed. No, she couldn’t get
out of bed. She hadn’t even eaten since the day before. As if
in agreement, her belly rumbled loudly. Sangi sighed.
think I know what’s wrong?”
an asshole,” she said wiping at her eyes.
shook her head. “You have the baby blues. It’s normal
after having a child, even more when you have two. You have to get
out of this bed and take care of yourself.”
don’t want to move.”
too damn bad. I’m going to turn on the shower, which you will
enjoy. When you get out, I’ll have fresh clothes set out for
you. You’re going to get dressed, do your hair, hell even put
on some makeup because you are stronger than this.”