The Nemesis Blade (48 page)

Tianoman
whispered, “They were symbiotic twins. Both live or both die.”

“And he knew.
It hurt more than anything has ever hurt. It still hurts.”

“I am
sorry.”

“Do not take
on that of your father, Tian. The blame isn’t yours.”

Tianoman
swallowed, saying nothing. His eyes were glued to Torrullin’s face,
seeing emotions he had not yet seen in his short life.

“I thought I
lost them. I knew of other realms, but did not have the greater
knowledge to realise death is not final. It changed when I
journeyed beyond, and now we come to the time you were
conceived.”

Torrullin
leaned back and closed his eyes.

“I was absent
for two thousand years, but my actual time on the Plane was ten
days. I returned with every memory fresh. Tymall, on the other
hand, was drawn to the realm of Digilan and spent four thousand
years away. One can learn a lot in that kind of time, especially if
one seeks revenge. Tymall became Warlock in Digilan and his one
driving force was the vengeance he would visit upon me and mine. He
returned to Valaris through a doorway and his first act was murder
and rape. When I returned he was waiting and the hell began. He
captured Saska, took Margus and humiliated him, and commenced the
extermination of every Valla, and laid the blame at my feet.”

Torrullin
sighed and opened his eyes to find Tianoman still fixated on
him.

“But he did
not figure he would fall in love, and it changed everything. He met
Fay, was attracted to her, and Fay and I decided to use it against
him. It worked long enough for me to rescue Saska and Margus, and
then Fay fell in love with Tymall. The two of them were alike, both
with issues they could not resolve, but while Tymall was darak, Fay
was lumin. What she was rubbed off on him, and vice versa. They
became one, in a sense, and in that oneness you were
conceived.”

Torrullin
straightened to look directly into Tianoman’s eyes.

“Your mother
loved you, never doubt it. Your father was faced with a choice.
One, kill your mother and his unborn baby and thus claim rights to
Valaris, Luvanor and Digilan, and, two, choose life for you and
return to Digilan. There were nuances, but those were the choices.
He chose life for you, Tian, and why? Because he was there when you
were born, he recognised you, and he loved you, he loved your
mother. No father who holds his son in his arms can hate that son;
this you must trust.”

Tianoman was
paralysed. His eyes were huge in his face.

“That alone
was sufficient to place Tymall of the Path of Shades, but there was
more. We made our peace, for I too held my son in my arms and I
loved him, I still love him, and Tymall was instrumental in saving
Valaris from the Mor Feru of Digilan. The evil Warlock no longer
saw in black and white, no longer walked the darak road. The Path
of Shades holds all nuances between and your father acts in those
shadows as I do. Those shadows prompted him to exact a promise, two
in fact. One, I present to my heirs an equal opportunity at the
Throne and, two, I bring you to him once you came of Age. He was
willing to relinquish this reality for one chance of seeing you as
an adult. He loves you.”

“It doesn’t
mean I must love him,” Tianoman whispered.

“No, but
perhaps you may eventually understand him, and in that lays a
measure of peace.”

Tianoman
looked away. “I once overheard Yiddin telling Sirlasin my father
left traps for me, particularly in Grinwallin.”

“They were not
traps for you; they were there for me and Tristan and Teroux. He
hoped to bring you onto the darak road.”

“He did that,
and you say he loved me?”

“They were set
before his change of heart, and could not be undone before Digilan
exerted influence over him.”

“Yiddin also
said it never came to pass, those traps.”

Torrullin drew
breath, and chose the truth. “They were there throughout your life,
largely in Grinwallin. I have negated them over the years without
anyone knowing.”

“Oh, god.”

“I promised to
give you an equal chance, and that is what I have done.”

“And I thought
you didn’t care,” Tianoman whispered.

“Tian, I did
not see Tristan born, or Teroux, but I was there helping you draw
your first breath. As your father loved you the moment he laid eyes
on you, thus I loved you.” He took a huge breath and let it out on
a laugh. “And in that moment my son and I finally understood each
other, and I knew he loved me. That, Tian, is why I shall take you
to Digilan. Love.”

Tianoman
hyperventilated and then came his tears.

Torrullin
allowed him to weep without interference, knowing the release would
do good. He sat back, closed his eyes and waited.

Minutes passed
and then Tianoman was on his feet, walking into the night.

Torrullin
waited.

Half an hour
later Tianoman kneeled before Torrullin’s apparently sleeping form.
“Torrullin?”

Torrullin
opened one eye. “Good, you have found my name.”

Tianoman was
diffident. “Tristan does it.”

“With good
reason.”

“He said
something about ‘grandfather’ being a pedestal.”

“He’s
right.”

“Calling you
by name makes you more real.”

“It sets both
of us free, yes.”

“What would I
call my father?”

Torrullin
opened the other eye as well. “You will know when the time
comes.”

“What did you
call your father?”

Torrullin’s
lips quirked. “Taranis, and it sometimes rankled him. Other times I
called him father, and that somehow pissed him off more.”

Tianoman
smiled. “There are no rules?”

“No, son,
there are no rules.”

“Tristan was
the lucky one, wasn’t he? Growing up with both parents, knowing his
place always?”

Torrullin
nodded. “Yes, he was fortunate in that.”

“Teroux had it
harder, didn’t he, harder even than me - knowing his parents and
then losing them both young?”

“True,”
Torrullin murmured.

Tianoman sat.
“So I am not so bad off. My father still lives.”

“Tannil lives.
Teroux cannot go to him, however. You will soon see your
father.”

“Why can you
not take Teroux to his father?”

“Why do I not
take Tristan to say goodbye to Samuel and Curin? Who gets to go,
who wants to be found - where are the lines?”

“But I get to
do this?”

“Different. I
know he wants to see you.”

“By
implication …”

“Samuel and
Curin would not place that kind of burden on Tristan. They are on a
new journey; their son walks his own path now.”

“What about
Tannil?”

“What about
him?”

“He was lost
to Teroux at a young age. Surely Teroux deserves to know why, how -
he loved his father!”

Torrullin
sighed. “Tannil cannot be found.”

“What does
that mean?”

“It means his
soul was shattered in the manner of his leaving. There is not
enough of him in one place for Teroux to recognise.”

Tianoman
paled. “You call that living?”

“Yes, out
there.”

“Does Teroux
know?”

“No.”

“I would feel
terrible if I get to see my father and Teroux cannot.”

Torrullin
leaned forward with a sigh. “I understand, but know this. If I do
not take you to Digilan, Valaris could be invaded by Mor Feru.
Tymall would send them, believing I reneged.”

“No!”

“Path of
Shades, son.”

“Then … it
isn’t for love!”

“It is. I
merely add the flipside; do not use Teroux’s pain as an excuse to
continue bearing your own.”

Tianoman
blanched and hung his head. “I don’t know what I want.”

“Choose with
your head now; later allow your heart to speak for you.”

A long silence
followed and then, “We go to Digilan.”

“Yes, and
remember it is part of reaching for maturity. Trust in yourself,
trust in a future, and do not allow your fears of this new unknown
to cloud your choices at the Coming-of-Age. A successful ceremony
is in your hands alone.”

“I
understand.”

“Come and talk
to me anytime you feel threatened by this.”

Tianoman
managed a smile. “I think I will be bending your ear often.”

“Anytime.”

Tianoman
heaved a sigh and seemed to settle. “Tymall saved Valaris?”

“He did.”

“But he also
brought the threat.”

“Not exactly.
He had nothing to do with the Mor Feru - those we call draithen
here - for he came alone. Agnimus placed Valaris under siege and
Tymall stopped him.”

“You stopped
the first draithen invasion.”

A moment’s
silence. “Yes, and in such a manner I tied my hands for the second
wave. Had not Tymall sent the Tracloc from Digilan, Valaris would
now be a different place.”

“Why do you
keep insisting Tymall saved us? It is as if you want him remembered
for something good.”

“He did good
and that should not be forgotten.”

“One more
thing - I must ask, I’m sorry.”

Torrullin knew
what was coming, and knew also Tianoman needed to put it in words.
“Ask.”

“He killed
your father, Tristamil, Vania, Caltian and Mitrill, and he caused
Tannil’s insanity. He decimated the Vallas, leaving only you,
Samuel and three young boys. All that, and he also killed the
Immortal Guardians and many innocents. You say you understood him,
but how can you understand that? How can you forgive it?”

“Understanding
is not forgiveness.”

Tianoman
pounced. “You have not forgiven him?”

“I cannot forgive Taranis’ death, no, and Tymall knows it. I
thought I would never overcome Tristamil’s and then I saw him again
to know, without doubt, my beloved son is in the place his goodness
is able to shine. Tristamil remains who he is
because
he died, and while I mourn
his passing, I see now Tymall gifted him something greater than
life on this plane. Tristamil forgave his brother; how can I not do
the same?”

Tianoman gave
a mournful sigh, too young to grasp it.

“As for the
Guardians; it was written such an event had to happen. The
Guardians needed to make way for the Kaval. It was a terrible thing
and hard to overcome, but now it is, and we have moved forward.”
Torrullin gave a shrug. “Were Declan or Belun to run into Tymall
anywhere, they would tear him limb from limb, or die trying. They
will never forgive. I accept that, even knowing he is my son.”

“Doesn’t it
make it hard in the Dome?”

“Why should
it? I understand them as they understand me.”

“And the
Vallas?”

Torrullin
lifted his shoulders and dropped them. “There is no easy answer. I
guess I am able to live with those deaths because he is shut away
in Digilan.”

“And were he
to come back?”

“I would be
forced to exact due punishment.”

“Your own
son?”

“Yes.”

“It cannot be
easy for you.”

“No.”

“Torrullin, do
people see me as a product of my father? Are they waiting for his
nature to manifest?”

Only truth
would serve. “Many are as you describe, but more take you for
yourself, gifting you a clear road.” He pointed a finger at the
young man. “That stunt you pulled with the Three Gates did not
help. Some said the sins of the father came through, but others
called it a prank of necessity.”

Tianoman
dropped his gaze.

“You have your
father’s power, make no mistake. Here you are on the edge of
maturity and already you have a toe in the shadows. It is up to you
alone where you go from this point.”

“What if I
fail?”

“It isn’t
failing. It is choice.”

“Would the
Throne … well, you know.”

“With your
lineage and a toe in the wrong place, would it regard you as
potential Vallorin?”

Tianoman
sighed the word. “Yes.”

“Look at it
this way. I am Vallorin and it chose me twice and everyone knows I
am no saint. Tian, I don’t know how it will choose.”

“Who do you
think should be Vallorin?”

“You do not
want me to answer.”

“So you do
have a choice.”

A bark of a laugh. “Actually, if I had my way, I
would
carve out three
kingdoms, one for each of you, as folk whisper, as the prophecy
speaks of.”

Tianoman’s
eyes rounded. “No!”

Torrullin
smiled. “That is my heart talking, son, for I cannot choose between
you three.”

Tianoman
smiled, a rare gesture of complete happiness. “Thank you.”

Torrullin
gripped the young man at the neck and pulled him forward to lay a
kiss on his head. “I love you, my boy.”

Tianoman
nearly choked on his emotions. “I love you also.”

They grinned
at each other and then Torrullin said, “I am starving. Let us eat,
drink and talk of other things, what say you?”

Tianoman
nodded, once more secure in himself.

The last
Elders were gone, Teroux was in bed, and that left Tristan with the
two women of Torrullin’s past and present.

They were in
the library having coffee and Saska and Caballa were filled with
nervous energy. He watched and listened bemusedly.

“Caballa, on
the one hand he is distant, on the other full of concern. It is
driving me mad.”

“Would you
rather he hadn’t come? You waited long.”

Saska pulled
at her hair. “I should have let you call him.”

“Really?”

“No!” Saska
blurted. “Shit.”

Caballa
laughed. “Women!”

Saska leaned
forward. “You love him, don’t you? How was it when you saw him for
the first time?”

Caballa paled,
flicked a glance at Tristan to see him looking at her, and she
snapped, “That’s not fair, Saska.”