The Natural History of Us (11 page)

With the way he kept glancing back at Peyton and the dust covering his clothes, I guessed this to be Cade. “Nah, Sunshine's just showing me around,” I replied with a smile, showing I had my own nickname for CC.

Like I'd said, I knew this game.

But then something he'd said before finally registered and I dropped the smirk. “Wait, why hopefully within the year?” I turned my gaze to Peyton. “Why not now?”

“Because it's too soon,” Cade cut in, answering for her again. Seriously, this guy needed to back the hell off. He stared at me as if I'd suggested she take a flying leap off the town water tower. “She needs to stick with the program.”

The program. Something about the way he said it struck me as odd. Just like that weird moment inside with her mom.

“What am I missing here?” I asked, keeping my focus on Peyton, wanting
her
to answer. She nibbled some more on her bottom lip and shifted her gaze between the two of us. Cade, the little shit, stayed silent for once, but his hands did find her shoulders, rubbing them gently like in comfort. My back teeth clicked. “Why can't you get up there now and show me a thing or two?”

Peyton's shoulders drew in slightly, and she looked so deflated, so fragile, that I felt like the biggest ass for even asking… which made no sense. Wasn't this her thing? Wasn't that why she brought me here?

When she opened her eyes again, the emotions swirling inside nearly crushed me.

“I guess you'd find out eventually,” she said, stepping away again from Cade's side. He frowned, and despite my confusion, I fought a surge of satisfaction. She sucked in her lips, then released them. “I had GBS.”

There was so much pain and fear in her voice, and her shoulders curled slightly into her chest. Cade shifted protectively, and although I had no clue what she was talking about, I realized that whatever this was, it was big. “GBS?”

“Guillain-Barre Syndrome,” she clarified, looking away. “It's a disorder that affects the nervous system. It's rare. No one really ever talks about it or even knows how or why some people get it. But it's not contagious or anything. I was in and out of the hospital and rehab for the last year…” She shook her head and formed a tight smile. “But I'm fine now.”

Cade scoffed. “I'd say it's a little more than that, CC.”

Peyton nailed him with a glare. “Fine. So I'm not exactly completely healed, but I will be.”

Her chin tipped up, as if she was daring either of us to disagree. I for sure as hell wasn't. Her shoulders were squared, her back straight, and I figured she could do just about anything she wanted to. She stepped up beside me, that sunny smile struggling for a comeback even though it didn't quite meet her eyes. “Want to come see my room?”

It was obvious there was a lot she was leaving out, parts of this disease that were still messing with her, and I wanted to know. God help me, I wanted to ask more and be this girl's protector. But then she took my hand again, clutching it almost desperately, and I found another way to do exactly that.

Then Cade made a noise in his throat, and when I looked over, I found him staring hard at our linked hands. Call me a dick, but that made my entire day. Win-win.

“Sure thing, pretty girl,” I replied and watched as a genuine smile, one that
did
reach her eyes, curved her mouth. The expression of complete gratitude trumped any scowl Cade could've thrown my way.

Peyton wrapped her other hand around my elbow and said, “See ya later, Cade.”

As she led me out the barn, I couldn't help but glance back. “Yeah, later, Cade.”

His gaze met mine and I smirked.

Stepping
foot on Peyton's ranch is like coming home again. Well, coming home if you live in the Old West, wear giant belt buckles to dinner, or, you know, have people who actually want you there.

Welcome or not though, I close my eyes and breathe deep. The earthy scent of kicked-up dust, sweet hay, and faint manure fills my head and I lean back against my Jeep, my knees suddenly weak. It's crazy that this place, more than the clean, sanitary, Pine-sol scented structure I've lived in my entire life, makes me feel like this—content and happy, like a puzzle piece finally locking in.

Peyton's ranch is the only spot in the world—other than the baseball diamond—that I've ever felt like I belonged. Where I'm welcomed, just as I am, without expectation. It's like a black-and-white sitcom where moms give hugs and bake apple pies, dads pass the potatoes and ask how your day was, and the girl of your dreams holds your hand beneath the table, a curtain of strawberry blonde hair masking her smile.

No more screw-ups, Carter
.

Dinner at Carmela's was a shitastic disaster. I got cocky and threw it all out there too soon, banking on the old Peyton sitting across from me, the one who was shy and unsure at times but always went after what she wanted. She was fearless because she had to be.

That wasn't the girl who showed up to the restaurant.

This new Peyton is skittish, like one of the wary horses in her barn. At least around me. To even have a shot at winning her back, I'll have to stick with the game plan from here on out. Take things slow, start with being her friend, and not push whenever we work together on the project. That's what I've been trying to do since the dinner. I've got her sitting next to me in class, meeting me in study hall, even emailing the paper back and forth, and that's a hell of a step from where we were a week ago. Now I just need to prove that she can trust me again.

Like that'll ever happen
.

As I kick myself yet again over my appallingly poor choices in the past, the musical notes of Peyton's laugh float toward me on the wind. I turn away from the paddock and find her standing on the porch of the doghouse, her head tipped back with a smile bigger than Texas on her face. That's the Peyton I remember. A grin makes its way to my mouth before my gaze shifts and I discover the reason for that smile. Cade is right beside her, an expression of pure reverence on his face, watching her like he's freaking king of the world.

I can't even blame him. I used to look the same way whenever I made her laugh like that. But seeing her hand on his chest and the smile she used to send me directed at him almost makes me lose it. And when his arm slides around her waist, tugging her close, I finally do.

Slam
.

Peyton's eyes snap to mine as my closing door echoes across the field. Cade turns, too, and when his eyes meet mine,
that King of the World expression turns to complete and total loathing.

Bring it on, horse boy
.

“Hey, hot stuff. Long time since you've come around here.” Faith steps out from the barn, a few feet away from where I'm standing. She drops a bucket and blanket on the ground then glances toward the doghouse. When she turns back, her eyes are twinkling. “As you can see, no one's been pining in your absence.”

Okay, I deserve that. It doesn't make hearing the truth any easier, but I get it. Once upon a time, Faith and I used to be sort of friends. We hung out at the front desk whenever Peyton was out back bathing a dog—occasionally I'd help out with training, but washing and grooming mutts wasn't my thing. Faith would talk my ear off about her vlog, I'd pretend to follow along, and once, she even got me to read off the season's fashion trends. She still owed me for that one. But with all that behind us, I expected a warmer welcome. Then again, that was all before I screwed everything up so royally.

Swallowing my pride, I shove my hands deep into my pockets. “You let her go out with that spineless weasel?” I ask, nodding back toward where Cade and Peyton are now talking heatedly. It's almost enough to put the smile back on my face. “What kind of best friend are you?”

It might not look like it, what with me insulting her, but I know what I'm doing. Getting the best friend on my side, buttering her up, is crucial… and to play the game right, you have to know the other players.

Faith is an original. Snarky, with a true heart of gold. Fiercely loyal and protective of Peyton, but also the devilish voice in her ear, whispering to let loose and be spontaneous. She was my biggest ally when Peyton and I were together, and I'm counting on that support again. But first, she has to know that I want in.

Faith sizes me up and answers, “The kind that watched you destroy her three years ago.”

That knocks me for a bit of a loop, just as she knew it would.

“It's not what you think,” I tell her, taking a step closer. “I messed up and I'm not denying that, but I did what I did to protect her. I let her believe the worst but I promise you, I didn't cheat. Not really.”

Faith scoffs and glances over her shoulder again where Peyton and Cade appear to be getting into it. “Don't go pulling some crap about Diamond Dolls not counting or being in different zip codes—”

“I never touched her.”

I can't say it any clearer than that and I need her to know the truth. I need at least one person on my side.

Faith pins me with a, “do you think I was born yesterday?” look, and I shrug.

“Not then, at least. Look, Lauren and I hooked up, but not until junior year. I never said I was a saint. Just…” I shove my hand through my hair and squeeze the back of my neck. “Just not a cheater. I did what I did because I thought it was best.” I hesitate before adding, “For everyone.”

I don't know how much Peyton shared with her best friend. If Faith doesn't know everything that went down back then, it sure as hell isn't my place to spill. Besides, it'll only make Peyton run faster.

My hands slap against my thighs as I growl in frustration. This is fucking pointless. The evidence was damning—I should know, I planned it to be that way. And hell, I
did
hook up with Lauren eventually. Maybe this whole plan is doomed for failure. Maybe I should let Peyton go. Let her be happy with Cade.

Even the thought tastes like bile on my tongue.

Looking past Faith, I watch my girl slowly make her way toward me. She and Cade evidently sorted out their shit, and
now confusion and anger battle it out with something else in her eyes. Something that dares to give me hope.

“For her sake, I hope you're not shitting me,” Faith mumbles. Before I can wonder if she noticed that same expression, she turns back, pinning her gaze to mine. “Look, I know what happened back then—
everything
that happened—and the last thing that girl needs is you swooping back in to break her heart again.” She tips up the brim of her rhinestone cowboy hat, targeting me with an intense stare as she lowers her voice. “You're a master bull-shitter, Justin, and you can't kid a kidder. But for some reason, I believe you.”

That flicker of hope? It blazes into a damn forest fire.

Faith looks back and then lowers her voice even more. “I never really believed you cheated. I didn't doubt my girl, but I figured there was more to the story. I saw you with her, I saw the two of you together, and you suddenly pulling that kind of crap didn't sit right. But here's the deal—you should've come back sooner. You should've fought for her or fixed the mess you made. Cade's my boy, and he's been here a hell of a lot longer than you have. He was the one here when things went to shit, he's done his time. He's good for her.”

My jaw clenches as I target horse-boy with my eyes. Good for her? He's a chickenshit who waited until she was heartbroken to go after her.

Faith snaps her fingers in front of my face. “But that doesn't matter because Peyton's heart isn't really in it. Not like it was with you. Now, you did not hear that from me, all right?” She waits for me to nod, which I do, my heart pounding in my chest. “But if you're gonna be here, you better
really
be here, and if you're honestly trying to do this, you should know you've got your work cut out for you.”