The Mute and the Liar (43 page)

“
She
is
not
yours!
He
will
never
be
yours!
”

Jeffrey
regains
his
balance
and
pushes
Jayce
off
him,
throwing
him
straight
into
the
altar,
where
he
crashes
against
it,
breaking
through
it
and
sending
flowers
and
candles
plummeting
to
their
deaths.
Jeffrey
grabs
me
protectively
again,
keeping
me
safe
in
his
arms.
I
let
him.
It’s
actually
comforting.

Jayce
stares
at
us
for
a
moment.
Then
time
fractures
and
he
bursts
into
maniacal
laughter, throwing
his
head
back
and roaring,
every
shriek the
sound
of
a
knife
chalking
against
a
rock.
When
he
finally
stops,
he
begins
speaking
again,
this
time
quietly,
almost
above
a
whisper.
It’s
somehow
even
more
chilling than
when
he
was screaming.

“
I’d rather
kill
her
than let
her
be yours,
”
he
chokes
out,
pulling
himself
to
his
feet
even
though
his
body
is
all
shaking.
His
hair
looks
slightly
red.
It
must
be
because
of
the
glass
window
again.
No,
wait.
Actually,
I
think…
I
think it
is
blood.

The
cross
is lying
right behind
him.
Maybe
it
pierced
his skull
on
his fall.
“
L
et
…
go
…
of
…
her
!
”

Jayce
lunges
out,
and
I
don’t
realise
it
at
first,
but
his
bony
fingers
are
clasped
around
a
brass
candelabrum.
It
all
happens
so
fast.

*****

Seconds
clash
into
each
other.
It’s
hard
to
tell
what
happened
first
and
what’s
happening
right
now.
Cause
and
effect
have
melted
away.
Fatalism
has
murdered
free
will,
so
we
are
locked
in
this
world
where
there
is
no
connection
between
causes
and
effects.
There
is
no
causality
continuum.
We
are
left
only
with
patterns.
Things
that
only
happen
because
fate
decided
they
do.
We
are
left
to
sleepwalk
through
these
patterns,
not
sure
of
what
will
happen, but sure that
something
will.

First
Jeffrey
was
bleeding.
Did
that
happen?
No
actually,
something
is
telling
me
that
did
happen,
but
it
didn’t
happen
first.
Either
way,
it
happened
at
some
point.
Jayce
was
standing
over
his
body
with
the
candelabrum
hanging
by
his
side.
Oh.
I
see.
That
means
that
something
else
came
before
the blood
seeping
out of Jeffrey’s scalp.
Oh yes. I
understand now.

Jeffrey
was
falling.

We
were
standing
on
the
stairs,
so
high
up
from
the
ground.
And
all
of
a
sudden,
he
dropped
backwards
like
a
knife,
plummeting
down
the
stairs
as
if
they
were
the
side
of
a
cliff
face.
It
was
rather
beautiful,
actually.
Falling
is
always beautiful.
Falling
asleep. Falling
in
love. Falling
apart.

Falling! I
remember
now!
That’s the
second
bit of
advice!

Number
two:
to
lean
on
a
falling
man.

The
candelabrum
was
falling
too.
It
fell
out
of
Jayce’s
hands
and
clattered
to
the
ground.

That’s
when
Jayce
was
running.
He
plummeted
beside
Jeffrey.
His
eyes
l
ooked
all
red
and
inflamed,
ballooned
even.
He
started
screaming,
although
that
might
have
just
been
the
blood
resounding
in
my
ears.
Jayce
was
shaking
him and kept
repeating
something.

Wake
up.

Yes.
That’s
what
he
was
saying.
He
kept saying
that
and
one
other
word.

Sorry.

I think I
collapsed
Jeffrey too. I thought
Jayce
was
crying,
but
maybe
I
just
confused my
own
tears
for
his.
Because
I
know
I
was
crying too.

“
Look
what
you
made
me
do!
This
is
all your
fault!
This
is
all
your
fault!
”

The
only
other
thing
I
know
for
certain
is
that
Jayce
grabbed
hold
of
my
shoulders
and
began
shaking
me,
hoping
to
hurt
me,
hoping
to
make
me
break.
Hoping
to
force
me
into
a
confession,
to
reassure
him
everything
happened because
of
me.
It’s
all
your
fault. It’s
all
your
fault.

He
kept
shaking
me,
his
fingers
tightening
their
grip
and
digging
in
deep.

I
didn't
fight
it.
I
let
him
do
it.
I
welcomed
that
feeling.
I
embraced
it.
I pretended
it
was
helping
me
to
stop
thinking,
to
stop
feeling.

I
pretended
it
was
helping
me
forget
everything.

I
felt
dead.
It
was
a
blunt,
chilling
feeling
that
rattled
over
my
bones, leaving
me
numb
all
over.
It
made
my
mouth
hang
open
in
some
strange primal
method
of
communication,
my
head
roll
backwards
and
my
eyes flutter
closed,
but
not
without
first
flashing
the
whites
of
my
eyes.