The Millionaire's Secret Wish (6 page)

Walking directly to the bathroom, she closed the door behind her and stripped. She turned on the cold water and stepped under the punishing, chilly spray. She needed to wash Dylan out of her head and body. She just wasn’t sure a cold shower would get him out of her soul.

Dylan spent the night restlessly pacing his bedroom. His aroused body quarreled with his sense of honor. Why hadn’t he taken Alisa when he could have? She had wanted him. Why was he denying himself and her?

The answer came immediately. Her memory would return sometime. The impending knowledge hung over his head like the blade of a guillotine, poised to fall at any minute. Alisa would remember the betrayal. Worse for Dylan, she would remember her disillusionment with him.

Even having the certainty of her waning feelings staring him in the face, he hated that his denial had hurt her. Her doctor had told him not to rush any traumatic memories. Alisa had enough to deal with by facing each day, one day at a time.

Dylan knew his purpose was to help her heal. That was where he had to keep his focus.

The following morning Alisa came downstairs, but didn’t sit down to join him for breakfast. Her gaze was tumultuous. Frustration and confusion warred for domination on her features. Dylan stood.

She folded her hands in front of her. “I think it might be best for me to go back to staying at my apartment. I remember French, so I can also go back to work….”

“Your doctor still hasn’t released you,” he told her, feeling his gut twist.

“He will soon, especially if I press him,” she countered.

“One more week,” Dylan suggested. “You can try going to work half days. Stay here and I’ll take you.”

“Why?”

“Because I feel responsible for you,” he told her.

“That’s getting old.”

“Okay, then you owe me,” he said, ruthlessly taking another tack. “I brought you here to take care of you. In exchange I want you to remain here one more week and be hostess when I invite my pseudo siblings for dinner.”

A
lisa gaped at Dylan in surprise. She knew he joked about many things, but his sense of humor seemed to abandon him when it came to the subject of family. Despite her humiliation over last night, she couldn’t help feeling strangely honored that he would include her in anything involving his father’s children. “Did I hear you correctly? You want me to stay another week to help plan a dinner with your half brothers and sister? I thought you couldn’t stand them.”

He shook his head. “There’s a difference between active dislike and apathy. Don’t mistake this as an opportunity for a big emotional reunion.”

“Then why are you inviting them?”

He exhaled and hesitated a long moment. “There’s
something I want, and it will be easier to get it if I have their cooperation.”

Business, Alisa concluded, and felt a trickle of disappointment. She couldn’t help thinking that if Dylan and his father’s children got acquainted, they would all be the richer for it. She could see, however, from Dylan’s stony expression that he had that door of possibility locked tighter than Fort Knox. Much like his heart.

“You look disappointed,” he said. “You need to get over this notion of happy endings. They just don’t happen every time.”

“I know they don’t happen every time,” Alisa said. “But if I give up on the possibility, then I’ll be cynical and unhappy like you. It may sound crazy, but I think hope is magic.” She lifted her chin at the glimmer of disbelief in his eyes and pointed her index finger gently at his chest. “Besides, I think you hope for more than you admit. Otherwise, why would you have spent so much time hoping for me to regain consciousness when the doctors said my chances weren’t very good?”

“That was different. It was a matter of life and death.” He closed his hand around her finger and lifted it to his lips. “And I know the world is a better place if you’re here.” He gave a wry smile and gently nipped her fingertip. “I’m not a total heartless cynic.”

Her heart raced at the combination of his touch and the intent expression in his eyes. She knew he wasn’t
a total heartless cynic. That was a big part of her problem. He would be so much easier to dismiss if he were. Instead she got glimpses of the heart of Dylan that made her want more and more of him.

“Will you stay?” he asked.

Alisa tried to picture herself refusing Dylan and walking away, but she couldn’t. After all he had done for her, refusing him wasn’t possible.

“One week,” she said, pulling her finger from his lips. She had the strange sensation that she’d just agreed to a week-long emotional roller-coaster ride. How, she wondered, was she going to make herself stop wanting more of him?

The first couple of days, with the exception of riding to work with him in his car, she stayed away from Dylan. She planned the menu for the dinner with the housekeeper and sent written invitations to the addresses Dylan had given her. During the short commute, however, she was sensitive to his closeness. His scent stirred her, and she often felt him watching her. Alisa always had the sense that there was a caldron beneath his seemingly calm surface and that she had something to do with it. Thoughts of the night he’d kissed her heated and haunted her. Restless, she headed out to the horse barn and offered to help Meg with her classes. Looking outside of herself instead of always looking in provided her with a much-needed break.

Alisa drew a special joy from assisting with the
handicapped students. She could tell that every minute they spent on horseback provided them with a desperately needed feeling of progress. With her own memory returning at a slower rate, she easily identified with the need for progress because there were plenty of moments when she felt as if she was going nowhere.

More and more she craved independence and mobility. Five days into her last week at Dylan’s, after work, she dropped by her apartment and decided to see if her car would start after two months of sitting. Sure enough, the dependable Honda revved to life with only two tries. Although the doctor had not yet released Alisa for driving, she decided to release herself. After leaving a quick, vague message on Dylan’s voice mail, she drove to Granger’s for her tutoring appointment.

After the tutoring session, she walked to the cottage she had shared with her mother. Sitting on the porch, she felt a dozen memories wash over her. The scent of chocolate chip cookies and dinner filled her mind. Her mother was an excellent cook. She remembered her mother stroking Alisa’s hair at bedtime as she tucked her in. She remembered the long hours her mother had been forced to work and how she had often told Alisa that Alisa deserved better, and that one day things would be different.

Alisa hadn’t really minded their small, cozy home. She had felt safe there. Although she’d missed her father’s presence, Alisa hadn’t felt deprived except
for wanting sisters and brothers. As a child she’d sought a brotherly connection with the boys at the home. By the time her mother remarried, bearing more children was out of the question.

A breeze wafted over her face, stirring the heat of the sunny August day. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a cat jump onto the porch and settle into the shade. The sight of the tabby brought back yet another memory. Despite her mother’s better judgment she’d allowed Alisa to keep a stray.
As long as that cat stays outside!
Alisa smiled. She could still hear her mother’s voice in her mind. Most of the time Alisa had complied. She’d only sneaked the cat inside on bitter nights, and Alisa was certain her mother had known. She’d merely turned her head.

Every time Dylan came around, he’d complained about the cat, but he’d always rubbed the tabby and made her purr. He’d complained because, in his opinion, the cat should have been a dog. When he grew up, he was going to have a golden retriever that would be the best, smartest dog in the world. Even now she could feel the longing in his voice. He’d wanted a dog so badly he could taste it.

Alisa thought of Dylan’s beautiful, dogless home. She wondered what had happened to his dream of having a golden retriever. She wondered if that was one more loss suffered on his road to becoming a man. She wondered if he was unwilling to open his heart to the dog he’d wanted as a child.

Dylan glanced down his long driveway for the tenth time in as many minutes and began to sweat.

He knew Alisa should be fine driving, but he also knew she hadn’t been behind the wheel in months and she was driving in downtown St. Albans during rush hour.

He couldn’t help remembering how he’d felt when he’d first received the call that she’d been in an accident. He’d felt as if his blood had drained completely from his body. His chest tightened and he sucked in a deep breath. If anything happened to her…

If they stuck to the deal they’d made, she would be leaving in three days. Dylan felt ambivalent at the prospect. As each day passed, he found it harder and harder not to take what she had offered, not to touch her, not to fill himself with her. She was the one woman, the one person, who had made him feel not alone.

Perhaps it was best that the temptation of her proximity would be removed. After all, she would remember everything one day, he reminded himself. A cold chill passed over him despite the heat from the late-afternoon sun. One day soon she would remember everything. As surely as the seasons changed, one day soon her expression of longing would turn to contempt.

Squinting his eyes, he caught sight of her Honda as it rounded the curve. He breathed a sigh of relief.
“At least she didn’t hurt herself,” he muttered to himself.

She pulled to a stop a slight distance away and got out of the car and waved. “Look, Ma,” she said in a joking tone, “I got wheels.”

Dylan nodded. “So I see. You decided to ignore doctor’s orders.”

She nodded cheerfully as she walked toward him. “I did. What can I say? I’ve been such a good girl. This halo’s getting too tight for my head.”

His lips twitched at the same time he felt a tug of arousal. If ever a woman was both angel and bad girl, it was Alisa. He glanced at his watch. “I hesitate to ask where you went.”

She climbed the steps and stopped in front of him. “Granger’s and a couple other places.” She studied his face. “I didn’t do anything you wouldn’t have done a week ago.”

“What do you mean?”

“How long would you have followed doctor’s orders if it meant you couldn’t drive?”

Hell, he would’ve driven home from the hospital. “Not long,” he conceded. “But I’m not a girl.”

She blinked at him, then shook her head in disbelief. “You’re not really going to be sexist about this, are you?”

He sighed. “It’s not sexist. I just don’t want you taking any chances.”

Her eyes softened. She reached for his hand and hesitated. Despite all his good intentions, Dylan hated
the hesitation. He knew the reason for it. She hesitated because he hadn’t made love to her when she had asked him to in every way.

He took her hand and her gaze widened slightly.

“Life is full of chances,” she said. “If you don’t take some chances, you might as well be dead.” She bit her lip as if slightly worried. “I took a few today,” she said under her breath.

“A few,” he echoed, wondering what was going on in her pretty head.

She smiled a shade too brightly. “When I visited Granger today, I remembered some more things.”

Uneasy, Dylan waited. “Such as?”

“My cat,” she told him.

He nodded. “Tiger.”

“Yes, you complained about her, but you always rubbed her.”

“She was so ugly I felt sorry for her.”

“I’m not going to ask if that’s why you put up with me as a child,” she said.

He chuckled. “Okay.”

She glared at him. “I’m just going to believe I was so adorable you couldn’t resist me,” she said. “Or my mother’s cookies,” she added. “Or the opportunity to see
The Lone Ranger
reruns. But that’s another issue. I decided I wanted to get you a thank-you gift for all you’ve done for—”

Dylan stiffened and he dropped her hand. “Not necessary. You don’t owe me anything.”

She wiggled her hand as if she didn’t know what
to do with it for a moment, then firmly clasped her hands together. “Well, I’ve already gotten it. I, uh, I really hope you’ll accept it graciously and grow to like it.” She paused a half beat and waited expectantly. “Will you?”

“Will I what?”

“Will you accept it graciously?”

He shrugged, uncomfortable, but unwilling to diminish the eager hopefulness he saw in her eyes. “Sure,” he said with a shrug. “What is it?”

“Good,” she said, infusing the single word with ten pounds worth of relief. Her gaze flickered nervously away. “It’s in the car. Close your eyes.”

“Why?” he asked, wondering if he’d voiced his acceptance too soon.

“Because I want you to,” she insisted. “It’s an easy thing to do. Won’t cost you a dime. Just close your eyes,” she said, lifting his hand to cover his eyes. “Promise you won’t peek.”

Silence followed. “Promise,” she demanded.

Dylan stifled a groan. “Promise.”

He heard the click of her heels on the stone walkway and steps, then the driveway. Her car door creaked open. “Don’t peek!” she yelled.

“I’m not,” he muttered, but he was tempted as hell. What had she gotten him?

She slammed the car door and quickly climbed the steps to stand in front of him. “Keep your eyes closed, but open your arms.”

Confused, he frowned. “What—”

“Keep your eyes closed, but open your arms,” she repeated.

“Okay,” he said, his patience stretched. He immediately felt something furry and wiggly in his arms. Dylan looked down into the face of a fuzzy golden retriever puppy. His childhood flashed back to him and he remembered a time when he’d wanted a dog so badly he could taste it. That had been close to twenty years ago. The puppy looked at him with soulful caramel eyes and promptly peed on his Italian loafers.

Swearing under his breath, he looked at Alisa as if she’d lost her mind.

She winced at the puppy’s “mistake.” “Oops. I guess we’ll have to work on that.” She gave a smile and lifted her shoulders. “Meet Tonto, the dog of your dreams.”

Dylan opened his mouth to tell her this wasn’t a good idea. He no longer considered himself a pet person. He’d grown beyond that. He didn’t want that kind of attachment. He didn’t want any attachment. The dog wiggled in his arms. Dylan looked into Alisa’s eyes and couldn’t find it in him to snuff out the eager light of hope he saw there.
Damn.
A thousand refusals stuck on the edge of his tongue.

Something was seriously wrong with him. He could refuse to make love to this woman, but he couldn’t refuse her gift that had just turned his Italian leather loafers into Dumpster bait. “Tonto, you say,” he said, looking at the animal that would likely be the
reason he would need to replace every stick of furniture in his house within a year.

“Tonto,” she said nodding. “That was what you’d always said you would name your dog. Your dream dog,” she said, her gaze sliding down to Dylan’s shoes. “With a little work.”

Dylan felt the back of his neck tighten with tension. “What possessed you to get a dog for me?”

She laughed mostly to herself and glanced away. “Not having my memory has taught me how precious memories are. Getting back some childhood memories reminds me what a precious time childhood was. Nothing was perfect, but everything was possible.” She looked up at Dylan. “Your life has become almost too perfect, but it seems like you’ve lost your possibilities and dreams. I wanted to give you a dream that would remind you of a time when you still believed in possibilities. Besides,” she said, “he’ll keep you busy after I leave.”

Dylan knew Alisa had no idea that he dreamed every night that he could rewrite history. No dog could solve that one.

The following evening Alisa scurried around anxiously awaiting the arrival of Dylan’s half brothers and sister. Even though she’d only received one response, she still asked the housekeeper to set the table for five.

Dylan was busy trying to console Tonto, who had
howled plaintively most of the previous night. Homesick, she suspected, as the puppy let out another howl.