The Memories of Ana Calderón (31 page)

He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He placed a cupped fist up to his lips, cleared his voice and tried again. “Well, you're right, ma'am. I just worked for six months up-state for a small outfit, but I think that if you give me a chance, I'll be able to keep up with the load.”

“I see that you're originally from San Francisco. Right?”

“Yes, that's it. My folks live up there, too.”

“Why would you leave the place where you grew up, as well as your parents, to come down here?”

He smiled broadly, showing a row of straight white teeth. His face took on a gentle expression that engaged Ana's attention. His smile made her feel something unusual, a strange sensation that was quickly flooding her body. Her
mind groped, stumbling as if in the dark, trying to identify what it was that she was experiencing, but it found only emptiness, nothing. She became uncomfortable, and this feeling turned into annoyance, first with herself and then with the jittery man sitting in front of her.

He began to answer her question, “Well, ma'am, your corporation is well-known in a lot of places. I've heard good things about it from several buddies, and I'd like to work here. Also, I'll be honest and admit that I love the sun; that's another big reason. And, after all is said and done, Los Angeles isn't all that far away from San Francisco. I'll be home for Christmas, as the old song…”

“Please call me by my name!” Ana's exasperation was growing, and she brusquely interrupted him. When he looked confused, she repeated, this time with irritation in her voice, “Please call me Miss Calderón!”

“Yes, m'am…I mean, Miss Calderón.”

She then assaulted Terrance Wren with rapid-fire questions.

“Are you willing to travel out of state on short notice?”

“Yes…Miss…”

“What about late-night work? And I mean Saturdays and even Sundays?”

“Certainly…”

“Are you willing to submit detailed reports to me on the spot?”

“Of course…I…”

“What if I ask you to do an unpaid internship?”

“I think I could…”

“Well, Mr. Rye, I see that you're willing to do just about anything for this job, aren't you? You must be pretty hungry!”

Terrance caught the sarcasm in her voice and the way she had intentionally used a wrong name. He kept quiet, not knowing what to answer. But he didn't take his eyes away from her hard glare.

Ana was surprised and embarrassed by her outburst, but she still could not explain why she was feeling so much anger. Something in his looks, his demeanor, the way he returned her gaze, unsettled her, and she felt herself filling up with resentment. After a few moments, however, she forced herself to regain her composure. She wrinkled her brow and ran her tongue over her upper lip.

“I'm afraid I got carried away, Mr. Wren. Excuse me, please. Give us a few days to let you know the final decision. I must be honest with you in saying that there are several other candidates for the position. There's something else, however…” Ana pointed at her forehead, “I had, up here, the picture of an older man. No offense to you, personally, but you might yet be too inexperienced for the demands expected in this business.”

Terrance seemed shaken by the interview, and when she stopped speaking he stood up and walked toward the door. Before leaving, he looked back at Ana. He was obviously confused. He, too, was unable to explain why she had taken such an intense dislike to him. As he opened the door he murmured, “Thank you, Miss Calderón.”

Why had I been so angry with Terrance Wren? What had provoked me to rudeness towards him? Why did I put aside the rules that had always guided me? It was unlike me, but I know now that something inside of me had stirred, and I failed to recognize what it was. Instead of forcing myself to understand, and despite my confusion, I decided to give him the job. He was with me for three years.

Ana put Terrance under the guidance of Kevin Tang, the Chief Accountant of Calderón Enterprises. She asked him to give her a weekly report of the new employee, but other than that, she saw him only now and then. A year had passed when he unexpectedly appeared at the weekly session in place of Tang, who was ill that day.

She was dressed in a maroon suit; its lines were tailored to fit elegantly yet comfortably. Her hair, which she wore starkly pulled into a roll at the back of her head, accentuated her eyes and high cheekbones. Simple diamond earrings studded her earlobes, and a gold chain with the initial A hung neatly at her throat.

Ana sat erectly at the head of a large, highly polished conference table. Surrounding her were the chief representatives of the Marketing and Finance Divisions of her firm. When the men entered the room, she was already in her place. Documents were neatly placed in front of her as her secretary gave her information she would need for the meeting.

“Gentlemen, please take a seat.”

They were in good spirits, and they smiled at her as they individually returned her greeting. It was 7 a.m. and most of them were energetic and ready to go to work on their reports. When Ana saw Terrance, she asked him, “Mr. Wren, where's Kevin?”

“He's out sick today, and he's asked me to present our report to you, Miss Calderón.”

“I see.”

Without further talk, Ana launched into the meeting, following the agenda she had formulated beforehand. She went from one report to the next, asking questions of clarification and modification. “How is the program going for the new line, Bramante?”

She was especially interested in the marketing report because the firm had initiated a new line of baby clothes, and at her suggestion, the division representatives were targeting outlets in the eastern sectors of Los Angeles for this product in particular.

“Miss Calderón, as the report I've handed in shows, there's been a noticeable increase in sales out there. I think we're on target.”

It was after a lengthy discussion of this topic that Ana closed it as she turned to Terrance. “Mr. Wren, I believe we're ready to hear about our accounts.”

Terrance was visibly nervous. He shifted back and forth on his chair and cleared his throat several times. When he picked up the report to refer to it, he dropped it on the floor. Then, as he bent down to pick it up, he knocked over a glass of water with his elbow. When the water splashed over to the next man, he jumped out of the chair trying to avoid being doused, and as he did this the chair fell over on its back. This caused everyone at the table to move or stand, and in less than a minute Ana's meeting was in disruption.

She was the only person who had not moved. When
Terrance looked over to her, he saw that she was trying to stifle a smile, and after everyone returned to their places, Ana said, “Mr. Wren, is there a hidden camera somewhere in here? I mean, are we filming a comedy?”

Everyone laughed out loud at her remark except Terrance, who was so embarrassed he could hardly speak. After the meeting, he stayed behind to apologize to Ana, and he did so with apprehension because he hadn't forgotten her harsh manner during his first meeting with her. To his surprise, she was not upset with him. On the contrary, she seemed to have enjoyed the opportunity to poke fun at him, making the others laugh.

When she walked away from the meeting, Ana was also surprised. The irritation and annoyance he had caused her during their first meeting had evaporated, and just as she couldn't explain her feelings the first time, she now found it impossible to find the reason for her new reaction. She decided to put aside thinking about the matter and went on with her work.

After a while, Ana asked her Chief Accountant to include Terrance in the weekly meetings. Later on, she called on him from time to time, asking for up-dates on certain figures and accounts. He seemed glad to accommodate her wishes, and after some months it got to the point that he could anticipate her next step.

He and Ana began working late in her office, and as time passed this became their daily routine. Whenever she went on a trip to any of the branch factories, Terrance now accompanied her on the plane. Some two years after being hired, he became the employee upon whom she most depended.

I began to feel different during those months, and I could tell that others had noticed. I think it was because I smiled more, or maybe it was because I chatted with the office boys and the elevator conductors. Everyone knew that I had hardly done that before.

But the change in me was real. When I woke up in the morning and slipped out of bed, the first thing I did was to draw the drapes away from the windows. The ocean that I
hardly noticed before now gave me a jolt of pleasure each time I glanced at it. Everything around me seemed to become more beautiful each day, and I asked myself why I hadn't noticed such beauty before.

During the years of Ezra's illness, and even after his death, my work had become a routine, a mechanical thing that filled up my days. But now I looked forward to stepping out of the elevator to be with the men and women who were my staff, people who had seemed little more than furniture during other times.

I admitted that Terrance was at the heart of what was happening. I was captivated by his sense of humor and the way he was able to transform a column of zeros and fractions, making them not only interesting but charming.

I liked his company, and I was impressed by his intelligence and personality. Sometimes I found myself thinking of his looks because I found him handsome. At those times, however, I forced myself not to think of him that way, and instead I concentrated on his skills as one of my most productive employees. But I slipped often because I felt good noticing that he was engrossed with me, too. I often caught a look of admiration for me reflected in his eyes, and I liked that very much. Sometimes I would unexpectedly look up from whatever I was doing to find him gazing at me with a faint smile that lingered around his lips.

I knew what was happening to me, but whenever a faint voice inside told me that I was getting too close to Terrance, I stifled the idea by telling myself that he was necessary for the operation of the firm. Whenever I was forced to recognize that he was filling most of my thoughts, I rushed to concentrate on other matters. I was able to sweep away the nagging voice this way.